Pray for my anger

[diva]

I just learned that my abuser is now planning to start his own church. There's a lump of anger in my gut when I think of the damage he can do to others and I can't seem to get rid of it. I was okay when he was a pastor in a major denomination because I held out hope that the church hierarchy would eventually get him some psychological help and that he would no longer be in a position to hurt his parishioners. Now, I have no such hope.
The questions are myriad. What, if anything, am I to do? And the age old question, where is God in all this?
At times like this, I wish we were all together in a room to talk face to face. Sigh...
I ask your prayers to heal my anger and frustration.

[Savedbygrace]

I just learned that my abuser is now planning to start his own church. There's a lump of anger in my gut when I think of the damage he can do to others and I can't seem to get rid of it. I was okay when he was a pastor in a major denomination because I held out hope that the church hierarchy would eventually get him some psychological help and that he would no longer be in a position to hurt his parishioners. Now, I have no such hope.
The questions are myriad. What, if anything, am I to do? And the age old question, where is God in all this?
At times like this, I wish we were all together in a room to talk face to face. Sigh...
I ask your prayers to heal my anger and frustration.

Diva,

I can only imagine the anger you must be feeling. Where is God? Right in the midst of all of the abuse and insanity, shedding tears for his children who are hurting. He feels your anger...I would not want to be one of the those who abuse others in the name of God...for they will be judged harshly someday.

I know, not all that comforting at this time. Ask yourself a few questions. Is there any action you could take to stop his abuse? In my case the answer is no. When I come to that realization, I turn then to the Serenity Prayer. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Pray, and we will pray for you also. If it is possible, pray for your abuser. When I pray for the people that abused me, somehow it frees me from the resentment I hold. (Old AA adage)

Wishing you peace of mind.

Love,

Trish

Lord, I lift up Diva to you right now. She is struggling with anger, release her from the bondage of anger and resentment. I pray also that you work a miracle to change the heart of this abuser. Lord, if this person's heart be too hard to be changed, please intervene so that he does not cause harm to others as he has done to my dear sister.
In Jesus name, Amen.

[Hope 98]

Hi Diva,

I understand how you must be feeling. There is a pastor from my past who would not give up trying to create his own church - which is what the problem was from the start - it was HIS church, not God's. :eek:

I remember how angry I was when I found out that he was trying to start a new house-church after he had lost almost an entire congregation, and the building they were meeting in. :mad:

But - I don't think the anger is really the problem. What I mean is that anger is an appropriate response to abuse. It's even a caring response, because it's so obviously motivated by a desire to stop the hurt from happening to others. It would be easier to say, "hey, I've taken care of myself here, let him make a victim of someone else." :(

Still - I know it's not a comfortable way to feel. Maybe anger isn't so bad when there is something that you can do with it - something constructive. Something that might help someone avoid the trap. It's hard to say what that could be, but maybe it would be worth asking God what to do with that frustrating built up energy that comes with anger. It seems to me that there's a reason it's like that.

Praying for you Diva

[OldEnt]

I just learned that my abuser is now planning to start his own church. There's a lump of anger in my gut when I think of the damage he can do to others and I can't seem to get rid of it...

Diva,

There is such a thing as "righteous anger". Not all anger is sinful... It's not always easy to separate righteous anger from sinful anger, and the two are often mixed together as we react to a situation such as you have described.

I'm glad you are angry... You still have a sense of justice and right and wrong.... I would be worried if you had no emotional reaction at all...

For myself, it is an ongoing process to recognize the legitmacy of that part of my anger that is focused on how abuse distorts God's character and slanders His image, or the very real wrongs done to my family and myself. Controlling that anger from boiling over into sinful rage is no easy task.

Bottom line: Don't hold back from feeling that anger.... Recognize its reality and don't try to stuff something like that which is un-stuffable..... It is then that by God's grace you can control it by giving it over to Him.... Vengence is mine says the Lord. He will repay...

This forum is a good place to verbalize those feelings if you need to.... Many of us have been there. Done that... Got the t-shirt...

Peace, Old Ent

[diva]

This is not a well-formed and cohesive thought yet, but it has kept breaking into my thoughts this morning. I thought I'd post it for your reactions.

As I consider my reaction to this abusive pastor starting his own church, I keep thinking, "It isn't fair." Now I will grant you, it isn't fair that I'm still hurting five years later and he feels so good about himself he thinks he can start his own church. I also do have a sincere concern about his abusing others as he abused me and that when he is off on his own there is a chance he will become even more abusive.

However, where do we get the impression things should be fair? Am I, in fact, wanting retribution? Am I getting impatient with God and wanting God to wreak vengeance on this guy in my time, not God's time? (this might have been triggered by the quote "Vengeance is mine, said the Lord.")

As I said, I haven't thought this to a logical conclusion yet, but I'm wondering if it ties into my recent feelings and into the threads we've had going about forgiveness.

Your thoughts, all?

[Doug64]

This is not a well-formed and cohesive thought yet, but it has kept breaking into my thoughts this morning. I thought I'd post it for your reactions.

As I consider my reaction to this abusive pastor starting his own church, I keep thinking, "It isn't fair." Now I will grant you, it isn't fair that I'm still hurting five years later and he feels so good about himself he thinks he can start his own church. I also do have a sincere concern about his abusing others as he abused me and that when he is off on his own there is a chance he will become even more abusive.

However, where do we get the impression things should be fair? Am I, in fact, wanting retribution? Am I getting impatient with God and wanting God to wreak vengeance on this guy in my time, not God's time? (this might have been triggered by the quote "Vengeance is mine, said the Lord.")

As I said, I haven't thought this to a logical conclusion yet, but I'm wondering if it ties into my recent feelings and into the threads we've had going about forgiveness.

Your thoughts, all?
Hi Diva:

I believe it's normal to want retribution. That's all a part of being angry at a wrong.
God works on His own timetable, so any vengeance will occur when He sees fit.

Forgiving someone does not let them off the hook.

I hope this helps.

Doug:)

[Jerry]

And the age old question, where is God in all this?


From Abraham to Christ God sent the very best to whitness to the truth.They were either ignored or murdered.It is by this flesh existance,and our responce to the truth that we will be judged.We know,especially Pastors,enough of Gods will to not be abusive and yet many Churches continue in abuse.Where is God in all of this?,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Watching ;)
Love Jerry