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Reg
12-15-2004, 11:18 AM
Here's a little more on Triggers. This is from the old Forum.

Being Triggered: A Sign of Recovery?

Someone recently asked about what "triggers" are, and in thinking about my response I made a little discovery. I've always thought negatively about triggers, but I came to realize that there is something positive about triggers. First let me give my definition again on what I think triggers are:

Triggers are words or phrases that someone used on you to control and manipulate you in your past. When you hear them, they may remind you of how they were used to exploit you. When this happens you may get a little angry or "triggered". The deeper you were sucked into the manipulation and control, the angrier you get when you hear these phrases.

I never got "triggered" before I was educated on what spiritual abuse was. After I learned about it, I get "triggered" (angered) whenever someone tries to use the same verbiage or behavior that was used to exploit me in the past. Is that such a bad thing? Not if it makes me disallow the exploitation that I once allowed. When I get "triggered" (angered), something inside me says "No! I will not put up with that again. You will not exploit me in that way. I simply cannot tolerate it anymore now that I see it for what it is!"

Here's an excerpt from a self help book on recovery from psychological wounding entitled "Who's Really Running Your Life" by Peter Gerlach:

The next elements of normal second-phase recovery from psychological wounding are wonderfully varied. These usually take place in the final stage of recovery. They can include some combinations of...

A compulsive thirst for education: reading self-help books voraciously, listening to or watching recovery tapes, going to recovery lectures, talking with others in recovery, asking family-history questions of relatives, journaling, ...

A gradual thawing of emotional and physical feelings frozen for decades, and/or a validation of lifelong "unexplainable" feelings - usually surges of rage, deep sadness ("depression"), guilts, and profound shame. This thawing can come in a rush or in unpredictable swells and spurts, over years. Growing conscious awareness of these legitimate feelings and their prior repression can evoke intense feelings of anger at parents, themselves, others, and/or at God.

Sure we may go a little overboard at times when we get "triggered", but the anger you are feeling is normal and healthy. Not being "triggered" or angry when someone was exploiting us was not normal or healthy. Therefore I believe that "triggers" are a sign of recovery. The reason that getting "triggered" feels bad is because we are not used to it, whereas in the past we were trained to just passively accept the abuse. (This is a definite danger when we allow our critical thinking to be controlled by others. The word Submission takes on a bad connotation.)

My conclusion is that not all "triggers" are bad, but rather, they can actually be a positive thing. It all depends on how we look at it.

Jerry
12-17-2004, 03:16 AM
Dear Reg,,,
I was thinking about posting about being greatful for triggers.Like being triggered by abusive Pastors for example.Reg you have the "cunning of a mongoose" :D good post!
Love Jerry

Sheep
12-17-2004, 10:09 AM
Reg,

I am becoming more and more aware of what some of my triggers are. Your post helped me to see that I am probably in this second phase of recovery. For now I am triggered by the idea of attending church with my husband as it triggers memories of my dad just "playing church" to look good, shut my nagging mother up, or because he thought it was "good for us kids" while at the same time in his life he was physically abusive to me and my siblings. Not to mention emotionally unavailable. After my marriage crisis I don't want to go to church with my husband as it triggers that "let's go to look good" mentality that I still struggle against and I can't handle that right now *sigh*.

Sheep :(

Pinkie Pie
12-17-2004, 11:33 AM
That is such a refreshing way to look at triggers. It's like triggers show us that we are starting to take care of ourselves and stand up for our rights. And the remarks about second phase recovery sounded just like me so THAT was VERY encouraging.

Thanks for sharing.

Voyager
12-17-2004, 01:23 PM
I believe that was something I posted in December of 2003. I have saved many of my posts from this forum and the old one in Word files. Maybe I will compile them all one day into a book form. I probably have 70 or 80 of them like that one. Or better yet, maybe I'll just post them all on the Internet so people can read them for free. I hate to see people turn a profit on the wounds of others. But on the other hand, it's good that there are books out there on the subject of spiritual abuse. I don't know what I would have done if I wouldn't have found Jeff VanVonderan's book shortly after exiting my spiritually-abusive experience.

I've studied a lot about spiritual abuse over the last six years. I've read dozens of books and hundreds of articles about it on the Internet. I guess I won't feel like I've learned enough until I finally get healed. But then again, that may be a life-long process. Here's to everyone's recovery - including mine!

:cool:

Reg
12-18-2004, 09:45 AM
I believe that was something I posted in December of 2003. .........
:cool:

I have saved a lot of good posts from the old forum. I didn't know it was one of yours. Thanks for it John. :)

Voyager
12-18-2004, 09:49 AM
Thank you Reg for posting it. It helped me to re-read it again.

:cool: