had contact with my abuser

[abbey]

My spiritual abuser contacted my thur e-mail. he was announcing his sons engagement.

I simply wrote back: "please take me off your address list'

He replied. " I dont know why you are so bitter, all we were trying to do is help you and get you free (FROM SUPPOSSED MPD) I dont have mpd! i hardly have mood swings!

anyhow, im thinking of emailing him back and telling him why im bitter.

why am i bitter?

THEY SAID MY CHILD WAS IDOLATRY, THAT IF I LEFT THERE GROUP THE DEVIL WOULD DEVOUR ME AND GOD CHATISE ME. THAT GOD SHOULD HAVE KILLED MY SON WHEN I FELL AWAY INTO SIN (LIKE DAVID IN THE BIBLE) THE ONE LADY HAD POWERS, SHE COULD READ MINDS___I SWEAR SHE COULD___WHICH MADE ME FEEL UNCONFORTABLE.

Now this guy spoke in tongues and one time he laid his hand on my head while speaking in tongues and a power came thru his hands. He had weird powers as well. it was the holy spirit, so i hesitate to blast a new bung hole, but crying out loud! He asks me why im BITTER?

SHOULD I TELL HIM WHY? I FIGURE HE HAS ENOUGH SENSE TO FIGURE IT OUT HIMSELF. I guess not. excuse my caps/no caps--my keypad is the worst!

AB

[SpinningHead]

Abbey, absolutely not!!!!

Stay away from this guy!! in all forms of communication!!! You don't need to explain your feelings to him!! He knows what he did and him asking you why you're bitter (as if he didn't know!!) is him trying to act all innocent & make you go on the attack. DON'T DO IT! It's a ploy to make you look bad and him look like the innocent when he shows/forwards your e-mail around.

What you did was great!! "Please take me off your address list". End of story!! Repeat! Repeat! Repeat! until he respects your wishes to be removed from all his forms of communication.

You do not have to explain yourself or your feelings to any abuser. And he's not really interested in understanding your feelings!! He's just baiting you!

If anything, I would reply something like...

"This is a second request that I would appreciate you respect. Please remove my e-mail address from your address book immediately. I wish to have no further communication with you."

And I would continue sending the same message over and over again unti he complies!!

The second thought is...do you have a e-mail rule system where you can just block his e-mails completely? Then you wouldn't have to answer at all and just put him on ignore or auto-delete.

Sorry this guy is such a jerk!! :( Stay Away Dear Abbey! Stay Away!

[abbey]

sh hi! it feels like a bait.

i cant undestand why he feels he did nothing wrong. im the luke--warm believer, the one who left God, turned my back by leaving his insane group.

i cannot fathom the idea that this man has no clue all the haRM inflicted upon me. If i left i wasnt considerd a true believer.

i can go on and on about the amount of abuse. it didnt end the whole time i was there. and this sounds weird but, i saw them 'contact the dead' now i believe scripture says thats and abomination?

this warfare group were lunatics.

[Ladybug]

(((Abbey))))

PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THIS GUY!!! I AGREE 100% WITH SPINNING HEAD!
YOU DO NOT OWN HIM AN EXPLANATION OF ANY TYPE!!!

Do whatever can be done to block his e-mail. I "smell a rat in the woodwork." and I don't even know this person.

Stay safe and away from him!

Praying God's protection over you. :)

[areopa]

One of the way spiritual abusers work is to try to keep the contact going even if you are no longer a part of their flock or group.

My advice (if you're looking for advice) is to stay away from any person or group that is being (or has been) abusive especially if they continue to insist that they have done nothing wrong, don't understand what the problem is, or continue to talk about how you are the only one who has ever had a problem with them.

In John 9, the Pharisees put the blind man Jesus healed out of the synagogue (in other words, they excommunicated him). In response--Jesus excommunicated those who abused this man in this way--yet these Pharisees insisted that they were the ones who could see and were not blind. Jesus response to them was that because they insisted they can see, they were most certainly blind.

The intent of these men--spiritual abusers--is really unimportant--the Lord has quite probably made them blind to the truth as a judgment against their own souls. The important thing to remember is that they have done and likely continue to do damage among the faithful and there is no reason to associate with such men.

Forgiveness of them does not always mean complete reconciliation with them in this life and many abusers use the language of forgiveness and reconciliation to continue to exert power and abuse.

If you can go on and on about the abuse, it would be enough for me to say--stay away. Contacting the dead is an abomination and in fact was worthy of death in the Old Testament. Saul lost his throne over it and clergy that are involved in this sort of thing really aren't Christian ministers at all. Keep in mind that in this country you can become a "minister" by downloading a certificate from the Internet!

Any man or group that says you are leaving God because you are leaving them is departing from the gospel of grace--and that should be a warning sign. Stay away. Very far away from them. I wouldn't have any contact with them at all if at all possible.

I know it is tempting to verbally (or otherwise) outline what they did to you and how they abuse the flock--but these are the sort of cares you must cast on the Lord (Psalm 55:22). They likely will not listen to what you have to say. Let the Lord handle it and live in His grace thankful you are His child.

Lord bless,
>>>Rev. Kevin D. Johnson

[abbey]

(((Abbey))))

PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THIS GUY!!! I AGREE 100% WITH SPINNING HEAD!
YOU DO NOT OWN HIM AN EXPLANATION OF ANY TYPE!!!

Do whatever can be done to block his e-mail. I "smell a rat in the woodwork." and I don't even know this person.

Stay safe and away from him!

Praying God's protection over you. :)

OKIE DOKIE, he would just drum up and twist things around. like im at fault for leaving this group that he claimed was highly blessed in gods eyes.

[abbey]

One of the way spiritual abusers work is to try to keep the contact going even if you are no longer a part of their flock or group.

My advice (if you're looking for advice) is to stay away from any person or group that is being (or has been) abusive especially if they continue to insist that they have done nothing wrong, don't understand what the problem is, or continue to talk about how you are the only one who has ever had a problem with them.

In John 9, the Pharisees put the blind man Jesus healed out of the synagogue (in other words, they excommunicated him). In response--Jesus excommunicated those who abused this man in this way--yet these Pharisees insisted that they were the ones who could see and were not blind. Jesus response to them was that because they insisted they can see, they were most certainly blind.

The intent of these men--spiritual abusers--is really unimportant--the Lord has quite probably made them blind to the truth as a judgment against their own souls. The important thing to remember is that they have done and likely continue to do damage among the faithful and there is no reason to associate with such men.

Forgiveness of them does not always mean complete reconciliation with them in this life and many abusers use the language of forgiveness and reconciliation to continue to exert power and abuse.

If you can go on and on about the abuse, it would be enough for me to say--stay away. Contacting the dead is an abomination and in fact was worthy of death in the Old Testament. Saul lost his throne over it and clergy that are involved in this sort of thing really aren't Christian ministers at all. Keep in mind that in this country you can become a "minister" by downloading a certificate from the Internet!

Any man or group that says you are leaving God because you are leaving them is departing from the gospel of grace--and that should be a warning sign. Stay away. Very far away from them. I wouldn't have any contact with them at all if at all possible.

I know it is tempting to verbally (or otherwise) outline what they did to you and how they abuse the flock--but these are the sort of cares you must cast on the Lord (Psalm 55:22). They likely will not listen to what you have to say. Let the Lord handle it and live in His grace thankful you are His child.

Lord bless,
>>>Rev. Kevin D. Johnson

Thx for your response. made alot of sense. ya know they claimed to have powers and defintely did. they claimed they saw angels dark and light in the room. they treated warfare like a tea party and gave more attention to the devil than to jesus. they claimed to be prophets! one lady knew everything about anyone. she expressed that this was agift from the holy spirit, but even me looking at the trances she went into to prohesy, i was scared. it looked evil to me. i never believed in psychics and seers until i met her. and that contacting the dead----what christian would want to do that. Weirdest group of people i ever met, yet they appeaered to live a godly life. no swearing, r rated movies, really pulled away from the world. fanatics tho. talked about god 24 hours a day. i believe in balance. i never thought you could ever be too into jesus, but you defintely can.

[areopa]

Thx for your response. made alot of sense. ya know they claimed to have powers and defintely did. they claimed they saw angels dark and light in the room. they treated warfare like a tea party and gave more attention to the devil than to jesus. they claimed to be prophets! one lady knew everything about anyone. she expressed that this was agift from the holy spirit, but even me looking at the trances she went into to prohesy, i was scared. it looked evil to me. i never believed in psychics and seers until i met her. and that contacting the dead----what christian would want to do that. Weirdest group of people i ever met, yet they appeaered to live a godly life. no swearing, r rated movies, really pulled away from the world. fanatics tho. talked about god 24 hours a day. i believe in balance. i never thought you could ever be too into jesus, but you defintely can.

Abbey,

There is a word for this sort of group:

C U L T

I can't say it strongly enough...Paul the Apostle said that if an angel from heaven or even himself were to preach another gospel let him be accursed (Gal 6:1-9).

It is trying to see people we know in groups like this or affected by them, but Paul's admonition was not just about the verbal proclamation of the gospel but also most certainly about how they live it out in the life of the church. In Galatia, the problem was not that men were just preaching a false gospel but that they were advocating non-Jewish Christians to be circumsized. It is both life and doctrine that must be consistent with the gospel of grace.

Go rent (or read) the Crucible and watch spiritual abuse in what was purportedly one of the most "biblically orthodox" groups in our history (the Puritans). See if you don't see things in common between that story and the experiences that you have had with this other group.

Lord bless,
>>>Rev. Kevin D. Johnson

[Willow]

I really think avoiding dialogue with him is the best course, unless you are seeking some kind of agreement... which I doubt.

Sorry so short... I'm not on my own computer... but had to write something.

Take 3 deep breaths!

Amy

[secrethopes]

My spiritual abuser contacted my thur e-mail. he was announcing his sons engagement. I simply wrote back: "please take me off your address list' He replied. " I dont know why you are so bitter, all we were trying to do is help you and get you free (FROM SUPPOSSED MPD) I dont have mpd! i hardly have mood swings!

Sometimes we must take actions to protect ourselves. I eventually had to block all emails coming from the ex-church's domain so that if they did continue to write, it would not bounce back but I would never receive it. We were receiving all sorts of viruses, spyware, etc. in the emails they sent and I was tired of deleting them. Also, since I am a decent human being, I have trouble just ignoring emails I receive and want to eternally hope that they are finally ready to sincerely take responsibility. But these people do not do that; they attack and accuse. So I blocked them so I would not even receive the emails.

anyhow, im thinking of emailing him back and telling him why im bitter. why am i bitter? THEY SAID MY CHILD WAS IDOLATRY, THAT IF I LEFT THERE GROUP THE DEVIL WOULD DEVOUR ME AND GOD CHATISE ME. THAT GOD SHOULD HAVE KILLED MY SON WHEN I FELL AWAY INTO SIN (LIKE DAVID IN THE BIBLE)

It is best to ignore him. If he is a narcissist, they thrive only in contact since this is their way of controlling. They do not like having no contact since they cannot control the situation. Also, if this is what they believe then they are not even close to worshiping the true God.

THE ONE LADY HAD POWERS, SHE COULD READ MINDS___I SWEAR SHE COULD___WHICH MADE ME FEEL UNCONFORTABLE. Now this guy spoke in tongues and one time he laid his hand on my head while speaking in tongues and a power came thru his hands. He had weird powers as well. it was the holy spirit, so i hesitate to blast a new bung hole, but crying out loud! He asks me why im BITTER?

Not all power comes from God. When it seemed people in the church we left could read minds we eventually found that they were breaking into people's email accounts and reading their mail--not prophecy or discernment, just dishonest criminals. I'm not convinced "it was the holy spirit" that you witnessed, either. Not all power comes from God. I would do everything in your power to purge them from your life. I hope this helps.

[Elisabeth]

You handled it exactly right, Abbey!:D
January of 2004, I had to call my abuser. It was right after my mother-in-law's stroke, and since he was still her pastor, I knew that there was a chance I would run into him at the hospital. So I called him, told him that, to me he was not a pastor, and if I was at the hospital when he went there to see her, not to pray, read the Bible, or do anything "pastorly." Very difficult conversation. Fortunately, he did not argue with me.
Christmas Eve 2005, I had another brief contact with my abuser. I was at my brother in law's house, and he pulled up to their house in his car. I said hi, he said hi; end of story.
Then my husband went to his church one time several months ago, to spend one Sunday with his mom. He said to my husband "I don't know what's wrong with her. (Meaning me.) What happened between us wasn't that bad!" My husband decided he would never go to that church again, no matter what!
But, yeah, I know what it's like to try to break away, and then hearing from the abuser. Very difficult. But hang in there, and delete any e-mails (preferably without reading them.)

[abbey]

Abbey,

There is a word for this sort of group:

C U L T

I can't say it strongly enough...Paul the Apostle said that if an angel from heaven or even himself were to preach another gospel let him be accursed (Gal 6:1-9).

It is trying to see people we know in groups like this or affected by them, but Paul's admonition was not just about the verbal proclamation of the gospel but also most certainly about how they live it out in the life of the church. In Galatia, the problem was not that men were just preaching a false gospel but that they were advocating non-Jewish Christians to be circumsized. It is both life and doctrine that must be consistent with the gospel of grace.

Go rent (or read) the Crucible and watch spiritual abuse in what was purportedly one of the most "biblically orthodox" groups in our history (the Puritans). See if you don't see things in common between that story and the experiences that you have had with this other group.

Lord bless,
>>>Rev. Kevin D. Johnson

you better believe it was a cult.They wouldnt let me leave, they said, 'this is gods will that you stay with us, leave us and you are leaving god!" but in their minds, they are a highly blessed, spiritually elite (no one else is going to heaven, all churches dont live the cross, its all donuts and coffee after the service, people dont live it etc)

i will check out the book you mentioned

[abbey]

I really think avoiding dialogue with him is the best course, unless you are seeking some kind of agreement... which I doubt.

Sorry so short... I'm not on my own computer... but had to write something.

Take 3 deep breaths!

Amy

naw amy, im not trying to come to an agreement. i guess i got upset when he contacted me after the horrid horrid abuse he put me thru. he acted so innocent as if he did nothing wrong! i wont reply. i did ask you guyz for advice...

[abbey]

Sometimes we must take actions to protect ourselves. I eventually had to block all emails coming from the ex-church's domain so that if they did continue to write, it would not bounce back but I would never receive it. We were receiving all sorts of viruses, spyware, etc. in the emails they sent and I was tired of deleting them. Also, since I am a decent human being, I have trouble just ignoring emails I receive and want to eternally hope that they are finally ready to sincerely take responsibility. But these people do not do that; they attack and accuse. So I blocked them so I would not even receive the emails.



It is best to ignore him. If he is a narcissist, they thrive only in contact since this is their way of controlling. They do not like having no contact since they cannot control the situation. Also, if this is what they believe then they are not even close to worshiping the true God.



Not all power comes from God. When it seemed people in the church we left could read minds we eventually found that they were breaking into people's email accounts and reading their mail--not prophecy or discernment, just dishonest criminals. I'm not convinced "it was the holy spirit" that you witnessed, either. Not all power comes from God. I would do everything in your power to purge them from your life. I hope this helps.

YA know what...im baffled as if maybe their power was from satan. iv been away for 10 months and i still am confused to the voo-doo i saw. THEY were playing around waaaayyyyy too much with the spiritual realm. they considered christianity nothing more than a WAR.
i had a different view, like the gifts of the spirit, living right, jesus as a lamb.they painted GOD a sadist too.

they even believed that if you touch another person, demons jump from person to person. so what is a man and wife to do? sleep in seperate beds?

they were OUT THERE! and ive only shared a little.

[abbey]

You handled it exactly right, Abbey!:D
January of 2004, I had to call my abuser. It was right after my mother-in-law's stroke, and since he was still her pastor, I knew that there was a chance I would run into him at the hospital. So I called him, told him that, to me he was not a pastor, and if I was at the hospital when he went there to see her, not to pray, read the Bible, or do anything "pastorly." Very difficult conversation. Fortunately, he did not argue with me.
Christmas Eve 2005, I had another brief contact with my abuser. I was at my brother in law's house, and he pulled up to their house in his car. I said hi, he said hi; end of story.
Then my husband went to his church one time several months ago, to spend one Sunday with his mom. He said to my husband "I don't know what's wrong with her. (Meaning me.) What happened between us wasn't that bad!" My husband decided he would never go to that church again, no matter what!
But, yeah, I know what it's like to try to break away, and then hearing from the abuser. Very difficult. But hang in there, and delete any e-mails (preferably without reading them.)

id HATE to see my abuser face to face as you have! I think the e-mail just opened old wounds and bad memories that time and this forum and god have healed. i cant block his e-mail but i can ignore it!

[Hope 98]

Scanned many of the posts - but if I read right - I agree with all of them.

I would consider sending the very same reply every time he sends an email. "Please remove me from your address book." Nothing else.

I also need to let you know that the way that you're feeling is soooooo normal. Sometimes I wonder if it isn't my own anger that makes me so uncomfortable around people who have hurt me. I really DON'T want to do anything vengeful - I know I don't - but those feelings rise to the surface when a former abuser makes contact - no matter how it's done.

Given time, the feelings fade enough to become manageable. God be with you!

[Jerry]

Dear Abby,,,,,
You have the guys e-mail ,,,,,,,just go online and sign him up at a whole bunch of "Gay Pron Sites" that will keep his ass busy for a while :D

[abbey]

Dear Abby,,,,,
You have the guys e-mail ,,,,,,,just go online and sign him up at a whole bunch of "Gay Pron Sites" that will keep his ass busy for a while :D

HA HA HA! Thats hilarious! THX for making my morning! Jer

[abbey]

Scanned many of the posts - but if I read right - I agree with all of them.

I would consider sending the very same reply every time he sends an email. "Please remove me from your address book." Nothing else.

I also need to let you know that the way that you're feeling is soooooo normal. Sometimes I wonder if it isn't my own anger that makes me so uncomfortable around people who have hurt me. I really DON'T want to do anything vengeful - I know I don't - but those feelings rise to the surface when a former abuser makes contact - no matter how it's done.

Given time, the feelings fade enough to become manageable. God be with you!

if it happens again, ill reply the same way. it just seems ridiculous that he thinks he did nothing wrong.if i wrote out my experience in its entirety, ya'll would flip. it was brutal, horrid, abuse. one day if i gather the courage ill write about my experience. thx

[mary]

Abbey, just from what you wrote in your initial post in this thread, it's as obvious as Bozo the Clown's red nose that those people are nuts. Crackers. Why your old "pastor" would presume that you would want to know any news of his family is way beyond me. Has he no shame? Has he no sense of propriety?

Rev. Johnson is right: CULT!!!! :mad: :mad: :mad:

C = cheap
U = ugly
L = lying
T = travesty

I hate to keep making porcine references in my posts, but I read about your old "trap" and it makes me think about putting lipstick on a pig... :p It is not anything resembling what our Lord and Savior meant by one of His churches.

You're so blessed to be "outta there!" May you never hear from "pastor" again!

mary

[Elisabeth]

Dear Abby,,,,,
You have the guys e-mail ,,,,,,,just go online and sign him up at a whole bunch of "Gay Pron Sites" that will keep his ass busy for a while :D

Too funny!!!:D:D:D

[abbey]

Abbey, just from what you wrote in your initial post in this thread, it's as obvious as Bozo the Clown's red nose that those people are nuts. Crackers. Why your old "pastor" would presume that you would want to know any news of his family is way beyond me. Has he no shame? Has he no sense of propriety?

Rev. Johnson is right: CULT!!!! :mad: :mad: :mad:

C = cheap
U = ugly
L = lying
T = travesty

I hate to keep making porcine references in my posts, but I read about your old "trap" and it makes me think about putting lipstick on a pig... :p It is not anything resembling what our Lord and Savior meant by one of His churches.

You're so blessed to be "outta there!" May you never hear from "pastor" again!

mary

Amen mary! They were looneies! Here i was a naive new christian, trusting them for godly love and teaching and theyre a cult! And crackers as crackers can be! NUTZOS! Mary one day ill write my story and you will ....your mouth will drop open.IT WAS HORRIBLE ABUSE! TERRIBLE! But im moving forwrd. and i have not moved farther away from god as they predicted, but closer in some aspects!

Love ya friend!

[Reg]

Hi Abbey,

I've followed this thread and have come to the conclusion that you are dealing with a Sociopath. I feel, the reason we have had difficulty with our abusers is that we did not know what we were dealing with. I am posting a separate thread on The Profile of a Sociopath so that we know exactly what we are dealing with in many cases. Much of what has been said can fall into this category.

[Elisabeth]

But im moving forwrd. and i have not moved farther away from god as they predicted, but closer in some aspects!


Of course they would say you would move away from God. That's one of the way abusive groups keep people.:mad: But you are getting closer to Him now. Keep going, girl!:D