Ontheroad
12-09-2004, 12:37 PM
This is kinda long, but I wanted to share here about a very strange experience I had today that involved my former (very spiritually and emotionally abusive) pastor:
My son had a tooth extracted at the dentist today, and they used nitrous oxide (laughing gas) on him, at his request, since he was nervous. He did fine with it and the dentist said he could go back up to school, so after the appointment was over, did take him back to class, which was right at lunchtime. I decided I needed to talk to his homeroom teacher to give her the extra gauze the dentist had given me and to tell her what he'd had done and that he could only eat soft foods the rest of the day. Well, when I dropped my son off, his class was in Art with the Art teacher and I couldn't find his homeroom teacher anywhere. After dropping him off at his Art class, I was passing by the cafeteria and decided to ask some of the other teachers who were eating lunch if they knew where his homeroom teacher might be while her class was in Art. They suggested where to find her, and as I turned to leave their table, I saw that my former pastor was at the next table over eating lunch with his three young daughters, who attend school with my children. He and I glanced at each other and then both looked away. I just turned away and left the cafeteria and found my son's homeroom teacher in the front office and told her about his tooth.
After I left the school, I decided that since the school is right next to McDonald's, that I would grab lunch and take it back to my house to eat before heading back to work. I got my lunch and then was driving on the street right behind the school, which is a shortcut to get back to my house, when I saw a firetruck and ambulance pulling up to the school in front of the building where the cafeteria and art room are located. I immediately got concerned that maybe my son was having some weird delayed reaction to the nitrous oxide or other medicines at the dentist, so I pulled into the parking lot and parked so I could go check on him. As I was walking up to the building, out comes my son with the rest of his class, so obviously he was OK. He looked at me questioningly and walked up to me, and I explained that I'd seen the firetruck and ambulance and just wanted to make sure that they weren't for him due to some weird reaction to the medicines he'd had at the dentist. I said "Are you OK?" and he said that he was indeed OK, but that our former pastor was in the cafeteria in a wheelchair with the paramedics.
At that point, I saw my former pastor's ex-wife walking very hurriedly from the cafeteria heading toward the front office, with their oldest daughter hurrying a little ways behind her. I decided to go over and see if they needed help. I asked the daughter first if her dad was OK, and she said she didn't know and looked a little scared. I caught up to the ex-wife, and said that I was passing by after my son's dental appointment and heard what happened, and asked if she needed me to help with anything, and I asked her if my former pastor was OK. She said that he had passed out, but was conscious again and that he'd been fasting for a week and a half, and she wondered if the lack of food was what caused him to pass out. The daughter said that she and her sisters were just talking with him one minute and that he just fell over the next minute. The ex-wife said she was concerned because she heard the paramedics say his blood pressure was extremely low. She thanked me and said she didn't think she'd need me to help and that her current huband (a doctor) was on his way to the school to help. I followed her, walking behind her for a minute, and then asked her once more if she needed help, She thanked me but said no again, and so I left for home.
Anyway....it was a very weird experience, a surreal one. What are the odds of me and him both being up at the school during school hours at the same time with our kids, and of me taking the road in back of the school on the way to my house after McDonald's at the exact time the ambulance and firetrucks were pulling up? I felt like God wanted to use the experience to show me a few things:
1) I found that even though I still dislike my former pastor very much and don't want anything to do with him, I still found compassion enough in a situation like that to not want him to be seriously harmed and to offer to help his ex-wife and their kids. I am glad about this, because I have been concerned at how angry and hurt I still feel toward him for all the abusive and cruel and deceptive things he did. I was concerned I might grow hateful or bitter, so I am glad that at least I have enough un-bitterness (is that a word?) in me to find compassion for the situation today.
2) Hearing that he was in a wheelchair made me realize that my former pastor, with all of his faults, is still a vulnerable and fragile human who needs help.
3) This was an in-my-face reminder that I should still pray for my former pastor and others that hurt me at my former church, even though I really don't want to, because they are in dangerous spiritual territory.
Just thought I'd share this here. It really made an impact on me today.
My son had a tooth extracted at the dentist today, and they used nitrous oxide (laughing gas) on him, at his request, since he was nervous. He did fine with it and the dentist said he could go back up to school, so after the appointment was over, did take him back to class, which was right at lunchtime. I decided I needed to talk to his homeroom teacher to give her the extra gauze the dentist had given me and to tell her what he'd had done and that he could only eat soft foods the rest of the day. Well, when I dropped my son off, his class was in Art with the Art teacher and I couldn't find his homeroom teacher anywhere. After dropping him off at his Art class, I was passing by the cafeteria and decided to ask some of the other teachers who were eating lunch if they knew where his homeroom teacher might be while her class was in Art. They suggested where to find her, and as I turned to leave their table, I saw that my former pastor was at the next table over eating lunch with his three young daughters, who attend school with my children. He and I glanced at each other and then both looked away. I just turned away and left the cafeteria and found my son's homeroom teacher in the front office and told her about his tooth.
After I left the school, I decided that since the school is right next to McDonald's, that I would grab lunch and take it back to my house to eat before heading back to work. I got my lunch and then was driving on the street right behind the school, which is a shortcut to get back to my house, when I saw a firetruck and ambulance pulling up to the school in front of the building where the cafeteria and art room are located. I immediately got concerned that maybe my son was having some weird delayed reaction to the nitrous oxide or other medicines at the dentist, so I pulled into the parking lot and parked so I could go check on him. As I was walking up to the building, out comes my son with the rest of his class, so obviously he was OK. He looked at me questioningly and walked up to me, and I explained that I'd seen the firetruck and ambulance and just wanted to make sure that they weren't for him due to some weird reaction to the medicines he'd had at the dentist. I said "Are you OK?" and he said that he was indeed OK, but that our former pastor was in the cafeteria in a wheelchair with the paramedics.
At that point, I saw my former pastor's ex-wife walking very hurriedly from the cafeteria heading toward the front office, with their oldest daughter hurrying a little ways behind her. I decided to go over and see if they needed help. I asked the daughter first if her dad was OK, and she said she didn't know and looked a little scared. I caught up to the ex-wife, and said that I was passing by after my son's dental appointment and heard what happened, and asked if she needed me to help with anything, and I asked her if my former pastor was OK. She said that he had passed out, but was conscious again and that he'd been fasting for a week and a half, and she wondered if the lack of food was what caused him to pass out. The daughter said that she and her sisters were just talking with him one minute and that he just fell over the next minute. The ex-wife said she was concerned because she heard the paramedics say his blood pressure was extremely low. She thanked me and said she didn't think she'd need me to help and that her current huband (a doctor) was on his way to the school to help. I followed her, walking behind her for a minute, and then asked her once more if she needed help, She thanked me but said no again, and so I left for home.
Anyway....it was a very weird experience, a surreal one. What are the odds of me and him both being up at the school during school hours at the same time with our kids, and of me taking the road in back of the school on the way to my house after McDonald's at the exact time the ambulance and firetrucks were pulling up? I felt like God wanted to use the experience to show me a few things:
1) I found that even though I still dislike my former pastor very much and don't want anything to do with him, I still found compassion enough in a situation like that to not want him to be seriously harmed and to offer to help his ex-wife and their kids. I am glad about this, because I have been concerned at how angry and hurt I still feel toward him for all the abusive and cruel and deceptive things he did. I was concerned I might grow hateful or bitter, so I am glad that at least I have enough un-bitterness (is that a word?) in me to find compassion for the situation today.
2) Hearing that he was in a wheelchair made me realize that my former pastor, with all of his faults, is still a vulnerable and fragile human who needs help.
3) This was an in-my-face reminder that I should still pray for my former pastor and others that hurt me at my former church, even though I really don't want to, because they are in dangerous spiritual territory.
Just thought I'd share this here. It really made an impact on me today.