The 1984 Schism is Over !!!

[ex-shep]

I want to thank everyone on the Forum for bearing with me over the years as I struggled with the loss of Tammy. Your prayers and posts have been a great comfort to me over the years. Special thanks to Willow for speaking softly and carrying a big stick. I treasure the accountability. I also treasure her support and wit. I also want to thank my wife for standing beside me over the years and let Tammy be part of our lives without reservation. It takes a special women to allow another female friend into the fold. I am greatful for Tammy's church for letting into their home and taking an interest in seeing that Tammy and I come to terms. They are a great bunch and their fellowship is priceless.

I am happy to announce that Tammy came forward last night at church on her own to meet with my wife and me. It took a lot of courage. I am proud of her that she came forward.

We were able to openly discuss her involvement in the group. She was still fearful and not sure what to do. I was able to empathise with her fears, especially when her friends were being taken out through interventions. It was very scary for her. I was able to make amends for the damage I did over the years. I promised I would listen to her when she was ready. In the end, I was able to demonstrate my concerns for her group involvement were ultimately on the side of the angels. Tammy could not argue with that. She was able to laugh and kid around at some of my foibles. The interesting thing was the mind control dynamic was starting to fracture. She was very present with some periodic floating. I was able to see it and change the topic if something was too much for her.

It is going to take time to earn back her trust, but it will be worth the future blessings. It is going to be a long road ahead, but worthy of God's blessings. Your continued prayers as the Lord heals the friendship are dearly appreciated.

[Anna Marta]

What GREAT news! :D

Your wife sounds like an exceptionally loving gal. I don't know too many women who would be as understanding and loving in her circumstance. It is good that you value and understand her position in this.

God bless you all as you move forward with trying to save Tammy from the jaws of mind control.

Shalom
Anna Marta

[ex-shep]

What GREAT news! :D

Your wife sounds like an exceptionally loving gal. I don't know too many women who would be as understanding and loving in her circumstance. It is good that you value and understand her position in this.

God bless you all as you move forward with trying to save Tammy from the jaws of mind control.

Shalom
Anna Marta

Thanks for the kudos. It made my day. I wish I could fly to Norway right now to thank you for the note of suport. I needed that.

I do have a big prayer request. We need to be out of the place we are staying this Saturday. It is possible the Lord is calling us to the city where Tammy lives so we can continue to work through the issues. I would covet prayers for wisdom and discernment.

[Anna Marta]

You got it! :D

[Carmen]

Woo hoo! :D I'm happy for you and for Tammy. I hope that you both will gain peace and healing. I think your being patient and giving her room to act was the right thing. And again, I have to say that your wife is exceptional. :)

More prayers going up! :)

[ex-shep]

Woo hoo! :D I'm happy for you and for Tammy. I hope that you both will gain peace and healing. I think your being patient and giving her room to act was the right thing. And again, I have to say that your wife is exceptional. :)

More prayers going up! :)


It still feels like a dream sometimes. I would love to have the catharsis wear off. It feel great to see a post group Tammy emerge. I am sensitive to the fact when she is floating. Nevertheless a true and emotionally present self started to emerge. When she started to kid around with me, I knew we were home again. It is fascinating to watch. It is very heartening to see.

[mary]

I have to say that your wife is exceptional. :)



I ditto Carmen... Maybe I'm nuts, but I'm pretty much :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: .

I don't understand... But then, I've been married so long that I've forgotten what it was like to be single... Then again, you're married, too, so...

Aack. Don't mind me. :o :o :o

mary

[ex-shep]

I ditto Carmen... Maybe I'm nuts, but I'm pretty much :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: .

I don't understand... But then, I've been married so long that I've forgotten what it was like to be single... Then again, you're married, too, so...

Aack. Don't mind me. :o :o :o

mary

My wife and I came to the conclusion that the Lord already had plans for us which included Tammy. So far the only thing Tammy could not reconcile with our marriage is the fact that we take the cats out for walks. She had trouble fathoming that one. I asked Fidelio if he did not mind keeping Tammy company anytime she had a challenging day. He did not mind at all and was somewhat looking forward to the challenge. I get the feeling the Lord has been working on Tammy's disdain for cats. I am sure Fidelio can handle that situation with aplomb. :o

[mary]

Hmmm... Gets more interesting by the minute...

If I tried to take either or both of my cats for a walk, they'd be on the phone to the Humane Society so fast (reporting me for what they would deem cruelty to felines, and duly requesting "another placement") that I wouldn't know what hit me. :D :cool: :)

Also, I had an old boyfriend, also a Christian... We met when we were college freshmen. I dropped him after over 3 years of dating when I met my husband. We remained friends at his request. He became a Christian, but it was years before I became one, too. He stayed single... Eventually, he, my husband, our son and I would all get together on the holidays, etc. However, he wanted to get married and eventually, he met someone through a Christian singles' site. He did get married; I did get saved and...

Even though my husband was comfortable and secure with the status quo, my old boyfriend's new wife wasn't. He assured me repeatedly that she was fine, but she never acted like it. She always treated me like dirt at our holiday gatherings. Just this past Christmas, I sent my old boyfriend an e-mail (he'd asked when he and his wife could see us that week) in which I said, "Your marriage is more important to me than our friendship is. I care about you - but I care about K****-and-you more. 'Bye." He attempted to do a couple of end runs around it, but I won't reconsider. I doubt that I'll ever see him again, but it doesn't bother me. Marriage is for life... God gave my old friend a wife, and if she doesn't like me - or the idea that he's still friends with an old girlfriend - then I could see that I had to go. And I was glad to do it. Principle of the thing.

But if your wife is okay with Tammy... Well, I guess I just don't understand it... But that's really not important... :) :) :)

God bless you, Ex-Shep!

mary

[ex-shep]

But if your wife is okay with Tammy... Well, I guess I just don't understand it... But that's really not important... :) :) :)

God bless you, Ex-Shep!

mary[/QUOTE]

I gave up years ago trying to figure out the burden I had for Tammy all these years. I came to the conclusion that the way it was.

Tammy saw me demonstrate my struggles with the Lord over reconcilation. It did not take her long to realize it was not my idea.

[wizeone]

Thanks for the kudos. It made my day. I wish I could fly to Norway right now to thank you for the note of suport. I needed that.

I do have a big prayer request. We need to be out of the place we are staying this Saturday. It is possible the Lord is calling us to the city where Tammy lives so we can continue to work through the issues. I would covet prayers for wisdom and discernment.definately:)

[jane]

I don't understand and I find the story somewhat creepy.

Ok to disagree? I don't know why I feel it is creepy and frankly it is not my business.

I just couldn't keep reading about Tammy without being honest with you.

I support you in your recovery and endeavors........within the realm that I find the story disturbing and somewhat laced with really weird boundaries.

I guess I don't understand why God would have you move near Tammy or any of this....especially healing her disdain for cats (I am hoping that was a joke). It also seems to me that we know more about Tammy than you or your wife.

Have to be honest....but sending hugs and encouragement with my honesty OK?

Jane

[ex-shep]

I don't understand and I find the story somewhat creepy.

Ok to disagree? I don't know why I feel it is creepy and frankly it is not my business.

I just couldn't keep reading about Tammy without being honest with you.

I support you in your recovery and endeavors........within the realm that I find the story disturbing and somewhat laced with really weird boundaries.

I guess I don't understand why God would have you move near Tammy or any of this....especially healing her disdain for cats (I am hoping that was a joke). It also seems to me that we know more about Tammy than you or your wife.

Have to be honest....but sending hugs and encouragement with my honesty OK?

Jane

Valid point. We are too well established where we are. A drive down will more than suffice for now. My wife and I are doing well in the jobs we already have. We really want to stay where we are. We have a good recovery community and a good church. That said, prayers for housing in Cleveland.

It was worth a shot. After examining the evidence, it did not ring true.

Don't worry, I will take all criticism into consideration. It keeps me honest.