Hurting Mom
02-25-2007, 07:59 AM
Hello, I have been viewing some of the posts and it seems as though most struggles are with churches. Is there anyone who has had spiritual abuse in their marriage??
I have been married for 17 years and have 5 children. Things were not always perfect but we did "life" together, united. Then, 10 years ago, we changed churches. My DH found "friends" for the first time. He got his needs filled through the relationships in this church. It didn't take long for me to realize the "idolatry" and unbalance. Women were disciplined for being divisive, unsubmissive and rebellious. In ten years, there was only 1 man who was disciplined for adultery. The more I saw the more I spoke up, and the more I spoke up the the harder things got for me. I was told that I was the "problem" and for years I believed them. I submitted to their processes which at one point was to remove me from my own home and away from my children because I had gotten to the point of extreme. I was indeed beside myself, but I was never a threat to my children!
My husband sat silently through all this and never defended me. He agreed that I had strongholds and that I was unsubmissive. 7 seven months, I left the church. Since then my husband has had a really hard time. He is angry with me, he believes I am so sinful that I have decieved myself and others. Any defense I try to make for myself is answered with " Your heart is deceitful and despartely wicked." Friends and family have rallied around me in support, but our home is falling apart and my children are suffering.
Saturday, we leave for a four-day counseling session that DH has finally agreed to. But I am so scared. I feel like it's a trap. My family tried to intervene in Oct., but he would not listen because their opinions had no "validity because they only knew one side". After my pleading with him to disclose whatever information he had against me to them, he refused saying that he would not in order to "protect me".
This is just a BRIEF overview of a very complicated situation ,but I would greatly appreciative any advice, encouragement, supplication or even admonition anyone has!
Sister in the Freedom of Jesus,
Hurting MOM
I have been married for 17 years and have 5 children. Things were not always perfect but we did "life" together, united. Then, 10 years ago, we changed churches. My DH found "friends" for the first time. He got his needs filled through the relationships in this church. It didn't take long for me to realize the "idolatry" and unbalance. Women were disciplined for being divisive, unsubmissive and rebellious. In ten years, there was only 1 man who was disciplined for adultery. The more I saw the more I spoke up, and the more I spoke up the the harder things got for me. I was told that I was the "problem" and for years I believed them. I submitted to their processes which at one point was to remove me from my own home and away from my children because I had gotten to the point of extreme. I was indeed beside myself, but I was never a threat to my children!
My husband sat silently through all this and never defended me. He agreed that I had strongholds and that I was unsubmissive. 7 seven months, I left the church. Since then my husband has had a really hard time. He is angry with me, he believes I am so sinful that I have decieved myself and others. Any defense I try to make for myself is answered with " Your heart is deceitful and despartely wicked." Friends and family have rallied around me in support, but our home is falling apart and my children are suffering.
Saturday, we leave for a four-day counseling session that DH has finally agreed to. But I am so scared. I feel like it's a trap. My family tried to intervene in Oct., but he would not listen because their opinions had no "validity because they only knew one side". After my pleading with him to disclose whatever information he had against me to them, he refused saying that he would not in order to "protect me".
This is just a BRIEF overview of a very complicated situation ,but I would greatly appreciative any advice, encouragement, supplication or even admonition anyone has!
Sister in the Freedom of Jesus,
Hurting MOM