Just wanted to share with you all...

[Voyager]

I am currently celebrating six months of freedom from drug and alcohol abuse (which I turned to about a year after I escaped the church/cult to numb my pain). I thank God that I no longer need those crutches. When I was in the church/cult for 12 years, I had turned my will over to the pastor and stopped thinking for myself (see my avatar for a remedy). I left there in late 1998, and it has taken me almost eight years to find out who I was again. In the process I started self-medicating with prescription pain pills and alcohol. The pain was just too unbearable at times for me to deal with, and I mistakenly chose a very unhealthy way of dealing with it. For so long I felt "stuck" and didn't see any way to get free from the anguish and grief that seemed to debilitate me.

After I left the church/cult I had to re-invent who I was, and learn to think for myself and make decisions on my own again. I wasn't sure if I was John-before-the-cult, John-during-the-cult, or a combination of the two. I found out that what I ultimately wanted to be was neither of those two. This was not an easy task, and at times I truly wondered if I would make it through to the other side with my sanity intact - but I have! The depression is gone, along with most of the fear (anxiety) and guilt.

I now know who I am. I am comfortable being me. I can think for myself and make my own decisions. I am becoming very successful with my business. My family is becoming much more functional. Even though we don't have much outside support to lean on - we don't need it as much anymore. We got rid of the addiction to high-demand groups. I look forward to waking up tomorrow with hope - something that I was unable to do for many years. For so long I felt "stuck" and didn't see any way to get free.

I wanted you all to know this. I couldn't have done this without the help and support from the members of this great forum. I also give glory to God for using you all to help me heal. There is much more that I could say, but I think you get the picture.

God is good, and He is nothing like what we were brainwashed to think of Him.

Your friend,

John (aka Voyager)

:cool:

[Voyager]

I hope that this doesn't come across as if I am gloating. I see it as similar to someone celebrating getting free of cancer or some other life-threatening disease that they weren't sure if they would ever recover from. While it may be hard for other cancer-stricken victims to rejoice with the person who got free, it could also serve as a source of hope for them to see that it is possible to recover.

I am sure I still have more healing to go through. But getting free of the drugs, alcohol, and depression was certainly a big hurdle to cross for me.

:cool:

[DiligentLily]

Oh, how wonderful! Your being clean and sober for six months is an absolute milestone! But what I like even more is what you say about learning to be you. That's really what your goal is, I would think. Your sobriety is a necessary step on the way to finding yourself. I know how difficult that journey is. I wasn't in a cult, but I did lose part of my identity to that church, then they yanked it away when they shunned me. But that's another story.

Congratulations!!

[QueenKnitter]

Woohoo!! Congrats!!! What a terrific accomplishment!!

:D

QK

[Anna Marta]

Our Dear John who is truly a "Voyager",

It is a privilege to be able to rejoice with you. That is one of the great parts of being friends.

May you have continued strength and your family keep growing in love.

Love
Anna Marta

[jane]

it is a great accomplishment and you should be proud.

:)

jane

[Ladybug]

COME ON CELEBRATE!! :) :) :)

It's awesome when you see the Lord working and bringing you to the other side! You do have reason toe CELEBRATE!! Look where the Lord has brought you from and look to where He desires to take you. Jeremiah 29:17, th Lord say, "I know the plans I have for you....to give you a HOPE and a FUTURE!"

[Willow]

Doesn't sound like a gloat to me! Sounds like sheer and unbridled relief! I am hoping to find that too in the near future.

HUGS to ya John!
Amy

[hoipoloi]

Now this is cause for celebration and you are not gloating: just being justly proud of a great achievement -- and a great example to myself of what is possible.

Thank you for sharing this: I find it very comforting in the possibilities in my own life. And a wonderful writing skill -- I wish I could also express myself so directly.

:)

[Jerry]

Dear Voyager,,,,
Well you know how I feel from my PM ;) Just thought I would weigh in in public,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,GOOD GOIN !!!!! :D
Love Jerry

[butterfly]

:D :D :D Voyager, I remeber you were having a hard time awhile back.

Thanks for sharing your victory with us.:D :D :D butterfly shirley

[Voyager]

Thank you to everyone here for your support. I truly believe that the support that I received from the members of this forum was key in helping me recover. You gave me the support that I needed at a time when I needed it the most. You all allowed me to pour my heart out. Much of what came out was not pretty. I was full of pain, grief, torment, bruises, and hopelessness. You all allowed me to dump that stuff out here, which made room for me to be filled back up with better things. This forum truly is a gift of healing and recovery that God has given us.

When I first came here, I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I didn't think things could ever get better. I was so wounded that I didn't know which was was up anymore. I felt like I had been hit by a car, left for dead, and then had my former church "friends" kick me when I was on the ground. This deeply damaged my ability to trust people.

Now I am able to trust again. I'm not fully recovered in this area, but I am definitely able to trust more than I could a year ago. A year from now will be even better.

I just want to tell those of you who feel like there is no hope: THERE IS HOPE. Just don't give up.

:)

[abbey]

Wonderfully inspiring and Im so over-joyed for you Yoyager. The little time Ive grown to know you, Ive seen a hurting person sometimes. The only good i get from that is my total ability to RELATE! I can tell you were so badly hurt from the SA. I understand the need to self-medicate to somehow deal with, the worst abuse out there---spiritual.

I see much wisdom in you and a great desire to love, live and understand your God. You devoted 12 years to serve Christ, thinking you were doing the right thing, and got burned. I am passionately angry for you. But may I rejoice in this splendid news of 6 months of freedom from the JUNK!

You give me hope, just as you stated in your last post. Thx for the hope, John.

God Bless and one big CONGRATS!:D

[SpinningHead]

Yay! for sobriety!!

I can't imagine all the personal challenges you had to face to arrive to this day. But you did it! and your here!! That's amazing!!! So proud of all you've accomplished and worked through! Yay Voyager!!