jane
02-05-2007, 04:13 PM
I visited the church again that I spoke of recently- with my girls from work.
I really like the worship music. My girls couldn't stay for more than that so we left.
I bumped into a family there from my old church. I am afraid to get into the details...because I realize how public this forum is.
I experienced an interaction with them.........and a changed response in me.
It felt SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good.
What I would have once taken as a possible attack, I saw for her own weakness and insecurity that it really was.
I didn't feel hurt, angry, defensive or any of the things that I would have felt two years ago.
I laughed at first- outloud even....then realized that she was serious and felt absolutely sorry for her.
Sorry that she was so in denial, the mask that has the hidden aching pain is what she was wearing.
I wanted to share this- for the change in my response about myself and for the ability to feel compassion for the denial that she is stuck in.
I didn't need to rip it down- because I feel good enough about my life today that I didn't have to protect myself or attack back. When I first left my old church, I angrily needed to rip down everyone's facade....
now I see it so differently. Let her keep her pretense that she has this wonderful loving family....because her pretense is all that she really has to make herself feel worthy. I feel so bad for her because she really is a beautiful, caring and intelligent woman, and just has no clue.
thanks for letting me post,
love,
jane
I really like the worship music. My girls couldn't stay for more than that so we left.
I bumped into a family there from my old church. I am afraid to get into the details...because I realize how public this forum is.
I experienced an interaction with them.........and a changed response in me.
It felt SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good.
What I would have once taken as a possible attack, I saw for her own weakness and insecurity that it really was.
I didn't feel hurt, angry, defensive or any of the things that I would have felt two years ago.
I laughed at first- outloud even....then realized that she was serious and felt absolutely sorry for her.
Sorry that she was so in denial, the mask that has the hidden aching pain is what she was wearing.
I wanted to share this- for the change in my response about myself and for the ability to feel compassion for the denial that she is stuck in.
I didn't need to rip it down- because I feel good enough about my life today that I didn't have to protect myself or attack back. When I first left my old church, I angrily needed to rip down everyone's facade....
now I see it so differently. Let her keep her pretense that she has this wonderful loving family....because her pretense is all that she really has to make herself feel worthy. I feel so bad for her because she really is a beautiful, caring and intelligent woman, and just has no clue.
thanks for letting me post,
love,
jane