Hurt

[Jesus Loves Me]

I am hurting so bad right now. I was spiritually abused by a member of my church, when I started going to my church I was very wounded and messed up and this lady took me in so to speak. It turned out to be a cult, she teaches a doctrine called purge where basically everyone is supposed to purge (throw up) in a trash can or bucket while she's screaming in your ear to take off whatever sin from your past, your also suppose to do the same thing with every person you have slept with...anyways, I told some people in leadership at my church about this and other things (she's verbally and emotionally abusive), I wrote about it in my first post on this board... and they were going to talk to the pastor...well, they talked to the associate pastor whom she is very good friends with and I was told by another person who just talked to him about it that he said that everything that is being said about her is exaggerated and she is a woman of God. So basically he is saying that I (and the other former students of hers that have complained cause I am not the first) are exaggerating. I am so mad right now and so hurt. I found this information out yesterday...also my only 2 friends at this church really really hurt me yesterday...they probably didn't mean to but I am really hurt and I am thinking maybe it's time to leave this church....I hate to leave cause the abusive cult leader told me I wouldn't be able to make it in my church without her so I want to prove her wrong but at the same time I hurt so bad right now...emotionally I am just barely hanging on....please pray for me. Thank you.

[SpinningHead]

Oh Sweetie, you're salvation does not depend on this woman.

To say that you would not "make it" in another church w/out this chick is raising her to a position between you and Jesus and that just ain't gonna fly! Your relationship with God is between you and God! and it does NOT depend upon any other person. period.

It sounds like they've done some evil mind games on you and that's just plain wrong!!

I know you're hurting right now...it does hurt. But mutual puking in the trash? Honey, you don't need this crap. ok??

[Jesus Loves Me]

Oh Sweetie, you're salvation does not depend on this woman.

To say that you would not "make it" in another church w/out this chick is raising her to a position between you and Jesus and that just ain't gonna fly! Your relationship with God is between you and God! and it does NOT depend upon any other person. period.

It sounds like they've done some evil mind games on you and that's just plain wrong!!

I know you're hurting right now...it does hurt. But mutual puking in the trash? Honey, you don't need this crap. ok??

Thanks for your reply...I can't believe I fell for the puking thing...my only comfort is that I am not the only one, she calls it deliverance...your right, I don't need that I am just so hurt that the pastor hasn't even talked to me about it. I am so hurt right now and I feel like nobody at that church cares, I thought people at church are suppose to care. I thought pastors were suppose to be lead by God...all my childish illusions are being shattered...

[mary]

Almost ten years ago, I was told by a "Christian" friend of mine that, "Sometimes, other Christians will be meaner to you than 'the world' could ever be." About four years ago, she proved that to be emphatically true: she dropped me like a hot potato when she finally decided to give up on "un-Calvinizing" me. She told me that I was a heretic with whom she no longer cared to associate. :mad: We had been so close, but suddenly, she was no longer speaking to me.

JLM, you're running into false professors of faith; you're dealing with those who are wolves in sheep's clothing and are infesting the real church, the Body of Christ, with some awfully painful "stuff" these days. I know it hurts, JLM; give it to Him and He'll heal your pain.

If you can just think of these people as pathetic misrepresentations... That's what they are, JLM; they're not worth even one minute of your (real) joy in the Lord!

Praying for you... I do understand, for it's been done to me, over and over again...

mary

[Jesus Loves Me]

Almost ten years ago, I was told by a "Christian" friend of mine that, "Sometimes, other Christians will be meaner to you than 'the world' could ever be." About four years ago, she proved that to be emphatically true: she dropped me like a hot potato when she finally decided to give up on "un-Calvinizing" me. She told me that I was a heretic with whom she no longer cared to associate. :mad: We had been so close, but suddenly, she was no longer speaking to me.

JLM, you're running into false professors of faith; you're dealing with those who are wolves in sheep's clothing and are infesting the real church, the Body of Christ, with some awfully painful "stuff" these days. I know it hurts, JLM; give it to Him and He'll heal your pain.

If you can just think of these people as pathetic misrepresentations... That's what they are, JLM; they're not worth even one minute of your (real) joy in the Lord!

Praying for you... I do understand, for it's been done to me, over and over again...

mary

Thank you Mary,

I don't know what to say...I am crying right right...thank you.

[mary]

((((((Dear JLM))))))!!!

Love,

mary

[Jerry]

Dear JLM,,,,,
I am so G.. D... mad right now at what was done to you :eek: Really hard to be civil :o .............I guess I'll just say that contrary to what you may think,these people are not "Christians" ......Their "rock" is NOT our "Rock".....They are "children" of a "Lesser god",,,,,,,if you get my drift ;) It would be better for them if they had never been born. Keep posting here and let these good people help you ;) WELCOME

Love Jerry

[Jesus Loves Me]

Dear JLM,,,,,
I am so G.. D... mad right now at what was done to you :eek: Really hard to be civil :o .............I guess I'll just say that contrary to what you may think,these people are not "Christians" ......Their "rock" is NOT our "Rock".....They are "children" of a "Lesser god",,,,,,,if you get my drift ;) It would be better for them if they had never been born. Keep posting here and let these good people help you ;) WELCOME

Love Jerry

Thanks Jerry! :)

[Ladybug]

Dear JLM,

I hurt along side of you. Is there anyone that can be there for you as a "friend?" To just support you emotionally?

Don't let this person manipulate you into thinking that you cannot function in another church without her. I believe in due time and with much prayer support, the Lord will lead you to another church where you will be safe. Jesus NEVER intended any of us to through that type of false teaching!:mad:

Are there any other churches you can go to once you've regained some emotional and spiritual strength? Don't stay away from church or a Bible study too long, because Satan loves to get us by ourselves and seperated without the support of other believers.

Just a "suggestion," you may want to put on some soft and up lifting praise music and allow the Lord to minister to you this way. Or find a station on the inter-net and listen to their music.

Sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do is to go take a nap. Just allow the Lord to hold you close and to comfort you. "Come unto me all you who are weary and I will give you rest...."

Know that I am praying and asking the Lord to draw you close to Him and to put His loving arms around you. That He will bind up the wounds with His oil of mercy and grace.

[Carmen]

Hi Jesus Loves Me,

The throwing-up method sounds like something that a shaman would rather have a patient do. It might even work if someone is having stomach problems or has swallowed something poisonous, but we all know that as it is not what a man eats that makes him unclean, so he can't purge sin that way either. That woman is being totally unbiblical, is even openly contradicting what Jesus said (Matthew 15:17-20). What more proof does one need to know that she is a fake? Sin has to be purged in the heart (figuratively of course), not by emptying the stomach.

Did a quick google:

http://www.maui.net/~shaw/celes/daytwo1.html

From a report on someone's Peru trip:

"Shaman Mateo talks about the fact that the mixture causes nausea and how we should be prepared to flow with that nausea and not fight it. In our case this might mean leaning over the railing that bounds the room and throwing up onto the grass below. Mateo goes onto explain that part of the Ayahuasca experience is a purging and cleansing of our negative energies and that throwing up might be part of this cleansing."

From an interview:

http://www.gracecathedral.org/enrichment/interviews/int_20060824.shtml

"Eating peyote makes you sick, doesn't it?

It can make you throw up, yes. The elders say that when you eat the sacred cactus, its spirit goes inside of you and looks around. It's wondering, "Is there anything toxic in terms of guilt or shame or negative judgment about yourself? If there is, well, let's clean it out."

So the vomiting is part of the purification work, but if you stay with it, if your prayers are good and you have done the previous rituals with faith and honor, eventually you can pass through the nierica, the sacred doorway, to commune with the divine."

These things may be well and good for people in other religions, but as Jesus said, they have nothing to offer us, because he is not behind them, he doesn't work that way, the universe he made won't work that way. We look into our own hearts with the help of the HS and find what isn't good. Then it is hard work to change our character. Those people that throw up might feel better momentarily, but none of their inner problems have been solved, they will inevitably go back to those bad feelings, get another placebo ritual, go back, ritual, go back....

You can function very well without that woman and anyone else that supports her ideas - she is toxic. Please make sure you have support from someone that really cares for you and will help you.

[Cataract]

i'm so sorry this has happened to you...that woman sounds horrid!!!!!

I'm not suprised your'e hurt n mad...i feel mad just reading what these people have done to you. I know what you mean about your illusions being shattered and feeling like they were meant to care but don't.
Hopefully you can see from these posts that some people do care.

I'm hoping you'll get away from them all and feel better soon.

[Elisabeth]

That was extremely bad; I'm sorry that happened to you. I want you to know something, though, you are on the right track now. :) I say this because you saw how bad it really was, and want to get away from it. I encourage you to get away from it as fast as you can. When you do go back to church, I will tell you one thing that a counselor told me when I told him that certain things in the church were "triggering" memories. He said it's okay to walk out, and then return later, five minutes, next Sunday, whatever. In other words, don't push yourself. God will not let you go. My spiritual abuse involved sexual abuse by the pastor; I know what you mean by realizing the ones who are supposed to care don't, and having your dreams shattered. It's a tough thing to go through. I am still in the process myself of healing from the abuse. It's been several years, with many tough spots, but as I look back, I realize that God was working even in the tough spots.

[abbey]

I am hurting so bad right now. I was spiritually abused by a member of my church, when I started going to my church I was very wounded and messed up and this lady took me in so to speak. It turned out to be a cult, she teaches a doctrine called purge where basically everyone is supposed to purge (throw up) in a trash can or bucket while she's screaming in your ear to take off whatever sin from your past, your also suppose to do the same thing with every person you have slept with...anyways, I told some people in leadership at my church about this and other things (she's verbally and emotionally abusive), I wrote about it in my first post on this board... and they were going to talk to the pastor...well, they talked to the associate pastor whom she is very good friends with and I was told by another person who just talked to him about it that he said that everything that is being said about her is exaggerated and she is a woman of God. So basically he is saying that I (and the other former students of hers that have complained cause I am not the first) are exaggerating. I am so mad right now and so hurt. I found this information out yesterday...also my only 2 friends at this church really really hurt me yesterday...they probably didn't mean to but I am really hurt and I am thinking maybe it's time to leave this church....I hate to leave cause the abusive cult leader told me I wouldn't be able to make it in my church without her so I want to prove her wrong but at the same time I hurt so bad right now...emotionally I am just barely hanging on....please pray for me. Thank you.

Boy JLM, you have been A_B_U_S_E_D and are continuing to be abused. I was in a deliverance ministry and thats where my abuse took place, so I steer clear of any type of church, group, people that are into that kinda thing. I feel so much emotion for you right now, because i too, know the pain.

Purging is utter nonsense and non Biblical. You just got yourself caught up in horrid teaching. I was told i was "FILLED" with demons in my group. That was nothing more than a scare tactic to control me. Thats what you have run into too, control freaks parading as Gods elite.

Just to let you know, I overcame the idea that leaving the church was leaving God. I have found a fellowship where I cant wait to go to church! And you can too. God is everywhere! This concept that cults use of being the chosen few is BS! PLease please please, find a healtheir church and you will see the difference! It may take awhile, but keep searching. Those people at your current church are like poison!

I too, was emotionally wounded when I entered the cult. They take advantage of wounded, hurting people. Easier to control...Please know I am praying for you as you continue to break away from this CRAZY woman and find what God truely intends for you.

Love Abbey