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View Full Version : I just remembered what started all this. . . .


QueenKnitter
02-04-2007, 05:03 AM
A dear friend recommended Families Where Grace is in Place. I overheard her talking about "spiritual abuse" which was a new term to me. Googling the term only revealed that a lot of people were just putting old-fashioned bad management under that term. I mean, if it could happen at Microsoft or GM, could it be *spiritual* abuse? I decided to start with the creators of the term -- Johnson and VanVonderen.

<jawdrop>

While I read that, I kept praying, "This isn't going on here, is it? Please no. Not here. No, no, no, no. . . ."

Of course, you know the rest of the story. I saw it everywhere. I had just been spared of a lot of it. Those under my charge, however, were getting it left and right.

Then a year ago, I was told to edit my blog because so-n-so didn't approve of it? Oh? Really? A few things were before I found my blog voice. They were silly. But one? One was in the context of a prayer about conceiving my next child (the wiggly one I hold in my arms right now. Amen.). I just had a simple link to a book about nursing. So-n-so found that offensive. I changed the other things, but I said, "I'm keeping that link. 'Nuff said." :mad:

Then I bought about a dozen Tired of Trying to Measure Up. I gave them away to everyone. EVERYONE. It got back to so-n-so. That ended with several confrontations of me -- the latest was when I was told, "VanVonderen has terribly flawed theology. He believes you can work hard to perfect yourself." Uh . . . .no. Have you read the title? I finally said, "Look. If you want me to stop recommending that book, I'm okay with that. I'll just recommend people read Galatians and Romans instead." So-n-so's sidekick didn't even catch it.

And now I sit in the middle of a whole mess of attempts to SA me. If you say to your abuser(s), "NO!" does that stop it? I dunno. . . . Now they are telling me to edit much, much more than my blog (although my blog has gotten a lot more polemical. I figure, "Oh, I know so-n-so's reading it, so I'll talk to him!"

Sorry. Just had to reminisce. Thanks for listening.

QK

Ladybug
02-04-2007, 05:49 AM
Hi QK

First all, from your "name." Do you knit? I'd like to learn more about knitting.

I looked up Jeff V, because I had never heard of him. He is listed with the American Association of Christian Counselors. This organization is more than well known. I've not read any of his books. Thanks for mentioning him.

Can you direct me to you blog page?

I'll be praying and asking the Lord to direct you in the way He wants you to go.

Keep going forward in Him.

QueenKnitter
02-04-2007, 06:22 AM
Yes, yes. Knitting!! Love it. Wish I had more time for it. Great therapy.

I'm timid, ladybug, about passing it out just yet in this place. :o Maybe I shouldn't be. I don't know. But my posts on another internet forum resulted in some job threats too. . . . From the same so-n-so.

<bigger bag over my Barbie head>

C

ex-shep
02-04-2007, 10:05 AM
Yes, yes. Knitting!! Love it. Wish I had more time for it. Great therapy.

I'm timid, ladybug, about passing it out just yet in this place. :o Maybe I shouldn't be. I don't know. But my posts on another internet forum resulted in some job threats too. . . . From the same so-n-so.

<bigger bag over my Barbie head>

C

Take your time. Comfort levels are greatly respected around here. Obviously the pastor is quite ignorant of the topic. A cardinal rule of recovery is that one deserves to be around healthy people. Nothing wrong with packing it up if the enviroment you describe is too toxic.

Feel free to share whatever is on your heart and mind. If you want to observe and read the posts for a bit until you feel the water is fine, that is perfectly OK. In any case, make yourself at home. There is always somebody who can relate. Virtual coffeepot is always brewing. Welcome aboard.

InTheory
02-04-2007, 12:25 PM
Bless you Queen-I LOVE your spirit and spunk.

If you'll allow me to say one thing to you (and you don't have to, by any means :) ), just be true to yourself and your conscience...even when someone in authority tries to convince you otherwise.

You seem like you already know that anyway :) , but just remember it!!!

Take care; you are appreciated here.

-Dan

butterfly
02-04-2007, 10:40 PM
QN , I am not for sure if you know but you can send Private Messages to anyone here on the forum.

That way if you wanted to give a web page, your blog, or just a private chat to someone you can do it that way without everyone reading it on the open forum.:)

Just telling you this to use incase you feel a need someday.:)

Share whatever you feel free to do.:) You can have freedom here be yourself and enjoy.:) For me it is a blessing to beable to share and not be judged.

Now for your blog that is your private space and who are they to tell you what to write?? GRRRRRRRRRRRR I have had the judging done to me. It hurts and" barf barf "Christians like that.

Just was thinking your blog is part of your private life. You have freedom to have one you know. :D :D Jesus set us free.

Your blog has nothing to do with church.
How dare that woman tell you what to write.Grrrrrrrrrrr


I am not for sure if I said welcome to you. So Welcome QK. to the forum.
butterfly shirley

Elisabeth
02-06-2007, 01:42 PM
Freedom to have a private life. That sticks with me. For so long I felt that the church has a right to know (and control) everything about a person's life. But yeah, we do have the freedom to have a private life. I wrote an e-mail to a friend yesterday that I entitled "Time to let Lizzy shine through?" Heck yeah, it's time to let Lizzy shine through. I'm often afraid of being "different" from the others in the church if I be myself, and not be accepted, but that's part of the fear that SA has put in me. If people are true Christians, they embrace people's differences. In fact, I have actually heard leadership in my church say that the church strives for unity, not uniformity.:D