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View Full Version : Reaching my abusers, sort of.


DiligentLily
01-31-2007, 09:43 AM
Friends, I have been offline for a month or so, spending a lot of time blogging about spiritual abuse on my personal blog. It has been very healing for me.

Recently a friend from my abusive church started visiting my site and commenting about some of the things there. He is very conflicted because he loves DH and me, but he also loves our abusers and is very much caught up in that unhealthy system, even though he is now pastoring another church in another denomination. Anyway, sparks flew between this old friend and me, because he was trying to justify their abuse. We are talking by phone and e-mail now, and it has been very informative for DH and me to hear from old friend the crazy things the abusive group are thinking and saying about us.

I have learned this week more than ever that they are sick and destructive and that all the social devastation they have wreaked on the community is entirely their own doing. They have been blaming all the broken relationships on DH and me, because we sinned. But I have learned to understand this week, more than I ever did, that Mr. and Mrs. Abuser have been working for 13 years to drive wedges between our friends and us, drive wedges between DH's ex and us, drive wedges between our children and theirs. They have encouraged everybody under their influence to shun us, they led a boycott against DH to try to get him fired from his job (I knew that one already), and most clearly I see that they are making it very difficult for our friend, above, to be friends with us and them at the same time. They demand complete submission. They want all their friends to be at enmity with us.

And to see this clearly like I do this week, to see the bright shining line that divides the people who have forgiven us and the people who shun us and that that line is the same as the line between those Mr. and Mrs. Abuser influence and those they don't influence, is one of the most freeing healing moments I've had in this whole 13-year-long ordeal!

I have missed you all very much.

jane
01-31-2007, 09:51 AM
reading your post made me feel the stress that I first felt when communicating with friends as we were leaving our church.

Welcome back...and glad you are finally haveing some success.

Division in church due to your sin:p really, is your sin that powerful over people and the cross???? That is insane.


Jane

SpinningHead
01-31-2007, 09:55 AM
DL,

I'm so glad you're here. :)

It's perfectly ok for you to take a break from the forum and work through some things. You are always welcome here as you need us/as you can contribute. :)

We had friends too who would try to explain the abuse we endured b/c they were still in the system. They also felt caught between what happened to us & the leadership that condoned it/participated in it. But you know what?? wrong is wrong and there is no explaining it into being ok. We both know that.

I hope that as you continue to distance yourself from the abusers, that crazy non-necessary crap that you've gone through will die down for you.

Carmen
02-01-2007, 08:24 AM
Hi DL, glad to see you again. I have been journaling a lot lately too, but just on plain paper. Am preparing an article for my blog too, but because of the sensitive nature of what is in it, I have to postpone hitting that "publish" button, have to lie low for the moment. I have been studying the issues of control, those people sure sound like they are controlling. Capping communication (relationships) is one strategy of control.

DiligentLily
02-01-2007, 08:42 AM
Deleted at request of author.

Anna Marta
02-01-2007, 08:46 AM
DL,

I have missed you! :D

What great news about your experiencing more freeing healing moments than in 13 years of struggle. What a joy that is to read. When I think of my own struggle I can identify with all the work and the growth and pain it has taken to reach this place. I am so happy for you and hope you are proud of yourself too.

Love
Anna Marta :)

Jerry
02-01-2007, 10:38 AM
Dear Lil,,,,,
Now you know the meaning of Luke 7 vs.31-35 :D
Love Jerry

DiligentLily
02-01-2007, 10:43 AM
Dear Lil,,,,,
Now you know the meaning of Luke 7 vs.31-35 :D
Love Jerry

I just looked it up and I guess I'm dense. :rolleyes: How does it apply here? Always looking for a good bible study!:)

Jerry
02-01-2007, 10:57 AM
I just looked it up and I guess I'm dense. :rolleyes: How does it apply here? Always looking for a good bible study!:)

Read it again,,,,,,,,,,,,,and again,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and again,,,,,,,,,,,,and again,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and again,,,,,,,,,,,You'll get it ;)

DiligentLily
02-01-2007, 02:31 PM
Thanks for the welcomes back Jane, and Spinning Head, and Anna Marta and Carmen (and Mary on another thread) and Jerry! I was gone so long I didn't know who would still be here when I returned and it was wonderful to see you all!

Jerry, I will study that one more.

Jane, that's what it is--those people don't really believe in the power of the cross, and I guess that's because they're in a performance system where in spite of what they say, they really think that they need to earn their salvation (or status, which I think is what's really going on.) So if you keep the rules you're ok and if you break them then you're really, really bad. I believed it, too. That's why I was so scared when it all started. I thought I might be losing my salvation.

Spinning Head, you're right: wrong is wrong. And when you get distance you get sanity. I've got to remember, though, to show them the mercy I wish they had shown me. Some day they may realize what they've done, and that will be terrible for them. I hope I don't add to their grief when that happens.

Carmen, keep blogging. Isn't it healing?! :)

Anna Marta, I wouldn't have believed any who told me how painful this would be, but now I do. Here's something sad and funny--every time I have an encounter with someone from that old system I get zits. :eek: You don't want to see me today! (all of 43 years old and getting zits :( )

Patty
02-01-2007, 03:01 PM
Have you listed the website for your blog on this forum? I'd be interested to read it.

DiligentLily
02-01-2007, 05:30 PM
Deleted at request of author.

Elisabeth
02-09-2007, 06:12 PM
I just now read this thread. In my SA church, the pastor was pulling a lot of stuff, self-aggrandizement, being totally authoritarian, etc. Not to mention what he did to me. Yet, when the church started to fail, it was because of other people's sins. It was because one lady was living with her fiancee, and her sister was wanting to "put some sense into her" by kicking her out of the church. I'm wondering if it was really like he said. It was because one of the deacons (married) ran off with one of the single ladies of the church. (They weren't even still going to the church once they ran off together.) It was never because of his sin, never because of his lies, and never because he was so self absorbed people could feel both the spiritual and emotional emptiness.