counseling????

[Erin]

Someone I respect a great deal recommended that I go to counseling concerning my SA experience. And at first I just thought that was silly. I don't need counseling. I can think of a lot of other people who had a lot worse experiences than mine. I shouldn't waste anyone's time. I'd feel stupid. Etc., etc., etc...
Now I don't know. I think maybe he's right, but I'm scared to death. I can barely say anything on this forum where I am hiding in cyperspace. Any thoughts?

Erin

[mary]

Erin, if you're suffering from the SA, then by all means, the right counselor could help you. There is nothing to be ashamed of or frightened about! Maybe all you'd need would be a few sessions and that would be it. I've been through it; I'm still doing it. It does work - if it's the right counselor for you. That's the ticket: finding the right one.

mary

[SpinningHead]

There's nothing wrong or shameful in getting some help to deal with all that you feel and everything you've been through. It's quite brave actually. :)

[Jerry]

Someone I respect a great deal recommended that I go to counseling concerning my SA experience. And at first I just thought that was silly. I don't need counseling. I can think of a lot of other people who had a lot worse experiences than mine. I shouldn't waste anyone's time. I'd feel stupid. Etc., etc., etc...
Now I don't know. I think maybe he's right, but I'm scared to death. I can barely say anything on this forum where I am hiding in cyperspace. Any thoughts?

Erin
Dear Erin,,,,
There will always be those who are in a better condition than you and there will always be those that are not doing as well,,,,,,that fact is irrelivant.....If you need help,then receive it......How else can those willing to help receive a blessing ????? After that then you will help others,,,,,,because you can't keep what you don't give away ;)
Love Jerry

[cryfreedom]

Hi Erin,

I second what has already been said here.

I never liked the idea of counselling,maybe I was too embarrassed or ashamed. But attending counselling is not a cop-out or a weak choice. It is quite the opposite. It takes extraordinary courage and the decision and steps taken to seek counselling can be very empowering by themselves.

The right counsellor is crucial! Just as people would say the right church, leader, person to be accountable to etc is important, so too is your choice of counsellor.

I was worried about this point, but the persoin I saw said we would just meet and talk a couple of times, and then we could make a decision on whether or not we were right for each other.

It wasn't what I expected - I wasn't on a couch confessing deep dark secrets or anything, the guy was just a damn good listener and after about 4 sessions he turned around and told me exactly what he thought my story was all about, and it made complete sense to me. Talk about discernment!!!

Up until this time I was wondering why I was bothering with counselling and kept wondering what the point was, he seemd to be very vague and , well, I thought I was wasting my time.

I guess there ia always a risk in opening yourself up, even to a counsellor, but if you take care in choosing the right one, then that risk is greatly minimised and you might really thank yourself later.

Just some thoughts :)

cryfreedom

[Patty]

I tried counseling but both times it was with people who did not understand what SA was at all. In fact, they diminished its signifcance in my life totally and wanted to put me on Xanax!
If you go, make sure you interview them first to see if they know what it is and how to help you.

[Anna Marta]

Hi Erin,

Have you watched the videos by Jeff VanVonderen available here in the forum? That may be a good place to begin when you consider counseling. It may be possible to communicate with some professionals who have published materials you are comfortable with on the topic of SA and ask for referrals in your area.

Counseling is a gift from God when the right counselor is found. God has a plan and he promises to be or guide and comforter... keep reaching out for that.

Love
Anna Marta

[abbey]

I have no more to add Erin, as usual, these people have given good advice. I can tell you however that I was AVOIDING counseling, until I realized its imperitive in my healing. You sound like an introvert, perhaps not the type to share too much. I am complete opposite! LOL...an open book.

But with the effects of SA being so damaging, from my own experience, outside help is neccesary. Its your life tho, you know best whats going on!!!

Prayers and Healing to you!

Love ab

[ex-shep]

Lifeway and New Life counseling centers are trained in spiritual abuse. If there is a large church with a counseling service, they usually are as well.

In an oblique way, Al-Anon or Codependents Anonymous can work in a pinch.

[simplelife]

Erin,

I strongly recommend counseling, but that's me. I know that my SA was so horrible that I could hardly deal with it much less discuss it.

Finding the right counselor can be a challenge. I recommend that you ask questions of the counselor (have they dealt with this sort of thing before? etc). If you don't feel comfortable with this counselor, don't continue with them. Find someone else. I think that they would understand that.

My story is that I went to a counselor who was part of my benefits package. It was, in my opinion, a disaster. I'm sure she was a great counselor, but we didn't hit it off. I never went back. I sought out a counselor that my wife and I went to twelve years ago. And, I'm so glad I did even though I have to pay for it.

My SA abuse came up in the sessions twelve years ago; however, this time the counselor employed a new tool she had just learned: EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). I feel years younger and a great deal better. Of course, I'm still on the road of recovery.

My thoughts are with you. Best Wishes

simplelife

[Carmen]

I agree with the others, finding the right counselor is the trick. Get informed about spiritual abuse, the resources on this site are a good place to start. A counselor that is familiar with spiritual abuse is a must, if you are looking for one at all, a cult expert would be good too, I think. Not every pastor that counsels is willing to deal with this, I got some closed reactions, I think that many are afraid of taking sides if they hear too many details about other pastors. Not all biblical counselors will know how to deal with this either, from what some tell here, they harmed more than they helped.