Ready to commit myself ---again

[abbey]

I have been diagnoised with Bi-polar type 2. Im not really sure what I have, but something is definitely wrong! I have panic attacks, nightmares, deep depression and crying jaggs. I went to my cult to get help with this ongoing emotional turmoil. Te reason i hurt so much is really life circumstances. Im dirt poor, (i havent money to eat as i type and my internet use is paid by a friend)
Im fresh outta a cult and in the midst of divorce. WHICH I WILL LOSE EVERYTHING! I live in a room, with no emotional, therapetic or spiritual support.
My first breakdown occured when i was living with my abusive husband,i had contact with my cult leader via e-mail and he had me cold turkey valium because God wanted me clean. Well, i had a breakdown and really havent recovered. That was almost 5 years ago!

Recently, i have been growing increasingly despondent. I can only see my son at my ex-husbands house. (my rooming house is all woman, no men allowed)---when im there he yells and screams over stooopid stuff. IM constantly being told im unwanted baggage, to geta life outside of my son. (my best and most productive times are visiting and tending to my son, its my duty, job, life) My husband wants me to get a job, apartment and boyfriend, but i simply am too consistantly ill, to hold onto a normal life. I try to explain this to him and he just YELLS! Like i friggin enjoy poverty? Like Im too lazy to get a job, yet when i had one, i had a meltdown. I cant trust this disorder! And now the friggin icing on the cake---THE CULT!

Two words that sicken me to my core.

The cult promised that i would under their care, never be hospitalized again! I was ill there and did try twice to enter a hospital, but my insurance didnt cover it. They kept telling me thats GOD CLOSING THE DOOR! They said that if i stayed off all doctors meds, God would intervene and make me all better. That its all demons anyway! *SIGH*

So here i am, my only support a forum! My family dont know what to do? I DONT know what to do. The doctors dont know what to do. My husband thinks hes knows what i should do. He yelled so mch at me the last time i was there i almost started to write a suicide note. The idiot doesnt, nor will try to understand bi-polar or cult exit. AS a matter of fact NOBODY NOBODY in my life family, friends have EVER invetigated bi-polar or cults. They just throw me to the curb, and hope all is well.

And of corse god. who is he, does he care, will he help? Has he really left me as the cult said?

So im close to commiting myselfinto those LOVELY psch wards. I wish I had you folks in real life---who can help? Im alone in a sickness and a life that has overwhelmed me. Today im gonna tell my husband, look man, you are sending me into the nut house again with your friggin abuse. Pray this man GETS IT!

The only other option is to tell my new pastor all this garbage and maybe he will help me find proper help! Im tired, sooooooooooo tired.....

I just want to be normal...

[cryfreedom]

Abbey,

(((((Long Hug)))))

You sound like you are really battling and things dont seem like they could be much more difficult right now.

God does care, God HAS NOT LEFT YOU but he left that cult a looooong time ago, in fact, He was probably never there. Who is God? God is Love.

You say you have a new pastor? I gather this means you are at a new church? I dont know how trusting you are of eople and churches, but desperate times call fro desperate measures, so I would strongly consider getting to the pastor and asking for help. At least you could get some real tangible suppoet around you to get through the immediate future, and then reassess the situation from there.

Nrma - you are very normal, just your circumstances have ben tough, and you are responding as most normal people have done for years and years

Will be praying for you.

PSI'm new here, and I don't want to sound patronising or like I am repeating cliche's that may make you spew or in any other way causing offence..I really genuinely want you to get through this as best you can.

[yeshua'smags]

(((((Sweet Abby))))))

I wish we lived close, you could come for dinner. :o What can we do for you? I will be praying for you.

[abbey]

Well, im leaning towards talking with the pastor too. Do i trust? Heck no...i was devoured by Christians. But without family support, and a ex that thinks im just being irresponsible---i just talked to him, i said "you better get it together, cause if i end up in a ward again, our son will be hurting" He said, "dont threaten me, and hung the fug up" He doesnt care to understand what has happened. he doesnt investigate bi-polar---he just thinks all my behaviour is some evil plan to make him miserable. heck, ive seen people in psych wards milk it for all its worth! Ive seen manipulation and it aint me! Im truly bonifide sick person that can function but at a low level!

I need supportive, understanding, were here for you type people. The pastor is all i can think of. a lady in my rooming house is getting TONS of finacial support from this church, food, gifts, a TV! Heck, they are really helping her---we both are on SSI! So at this point in the month, we have NO money! I think I need to reach there...ive reached to Christians before...got burned waaaaayyyyy bad! But im at my wits end...

thx for listening and responding!

Love ab

[SpinningHead]

(((Abbey!)))

If we were the closest and bestest of friends having tea, I'd say with much passion that your husband sounds like an insensitive abusive jerk that you don't need in your life! :mad: And next time he yells at you, hang up on him because you do NOT deserve to be treated that way!!! And then I'd pass you some homemade banana bread. He gets what he's doing to you and he's getting off on having that kind of control over you.

Sweetie, are you counseling or therapy right now?? It sounds to me like you getting yourself into a healthy place IS the best thing you can do for you...and for your son. Taking care of yourself and finding your strength IS in fact taking care and loving your son.

I think asking your pastor for some PROFESSIONAL counseling recommendations is a good idea...but don't feel you need to get into everything with the pastor himself. You're entitled to keep that private until you feel safe in sharing...which, I recommend is with a professional (most pastors are NOT professionals and cover up their inadequacies with "LET GO & LET GOD" canned responses which is more hurtful than can be imagined). You have gone through it, girl!! And there's nothing wrong with reaching out for some help to get through the particularly hard parts.

[abbey]

(((((Sweet Abby))))))

I wish we lived close, you could come for dinner. :o What can we do for you? I will be praying for you.

see, this is what i need! People who say, can we help! And thats not what i have in my RL! I went to rick ross and saw a post of a sister of a clt victim, pleading for advice to help her sis recover! My sisters just kick me to the curb, but i assume its because its TOO HEAVY for them. I hate hospitals...I try so hard to keep above water, but im sinking....

what ive learned is the people around me can either make it worse or better....my husband and a neighbor are my only supports. My husband gives me a few bux to get by, but is it worth it?????????? Its not friggin worth the abuse!

plz do pray, i wonder if a life-long hospital stay is in my future...

thx freind

[exwitchoz]

Normal???

That's a setting on my washing machine... NEVER used it :rolleyes:

Frankly I'd rather be me... as messed up... as dirt poor... hell! even as 'broken' as I am I'd rather be me than 'normal'... Sheesh!!!! Have you seeeeeen 'normal' people Trace??? They is W-E-I-R-D.... :eek: Yeah I'd like to be 'better' too... but 'normal'??? :eek: :eek: :eek:

You are worth sooooo much more than THAT Abs... Don't sell yourself short...

As Spin says there's nothing wrong with reaching out for some help to get through the particularly hard parts of getting better.... if you feel you should spill it out to your pastor do so... OK???

((((((MAJOR MEGA HUGS))))))

***Looks Left***

***Looks Right***

***Looks Left again***

OK the coast is clear... soooooo.....

Have an extra special Ozzie {{{{{KOALA KUDDLE}}}}} as well...

Hey!!! I don't give those away very often... so Shhhh!!!! ... or everyone will be after one OK?

Definitely, Definitely praying for you mate...

Just wish there was more I could do for you mate...

[abbey]

(((Abbey!)))

If we were the closest and bestest of friends having tea, I'd say with much passion that your husband sounds like an insensitive abusive jerk that you don't need in your life! :mad: And next time he yells at you, hang up on him because you do NOT deserve to be treated that way!!! And then I'd pass you some homemade banana bread. He gets what he's doing to you and he's getting off on having that kind of control over you.

Sweetie, are you counseling or therapy right now?? It sounds to me like you getting yourself into a healthy place IS the best thing you can do for you...and for your son. Taking care of yourself and finding your strength IS in fact taking care and loving your son.

I think asking your pastor for some PROFESSIONAL counseling recommendations is a good idea...but don't feel you need to get into everything with the pastor himself. You're entitled to keep that private until you feel safe in sharing...which, I recommend is with a professional (most pastors are NOT professionals and cover up their inadequacies with "LET GO & LET GOD" canned responses which is more hurtful than can be imagined). You have gone through it, girl!! And there's nothing wrong with reaching out for some help to get through the particularly hard parts.

well SH, i always love your posts cause your so PASSIONATE about injustice! ME TOO! LOL...

The problem with hanging up on him is, he has my kid and thats the only way i can see him. My kid is the light in all this. Hes the one that makes me feel ok. I can only visit my son at HIS house. My rooming house doesnt allow visits. So i put up with the abuse to see my son. If i go to a psych ward, they may be able to send me into the right direction. therapy, etc. I mean, this a$$hole cant be talked any sense into. Im baggage, and altho he knows that my son loves me and needs to see me, i think he secretly wishes i was dead---gone---outta his hair. He wants all control. he gives me some money and stuff, but it aint worth all this abuse---man, im overwhelmed, the cult, the divorce, i cant keep pulling up bootstraps--there are no bootstraps left!

[abbey]

Normal???

That's a setting on my washing machine... NEVER used it :rolleyes:

Frankly I'd rather be me... as messed up... as dirt poor... hell! even as 'broken' as I am I'd rather be me than 'normal'... Sheesh!!!! Have you seeeeeen 'normal' people Trace??? They is W-E-I-R-D.... :eek: Yeah I'd like to be 'better' too... but 'normal'??? :eek: :eek: :eek:

You are worth sooooo much more than THAT Abs... Don't sell yourself short...

As Spin says there's nothing wrong with reaching out for some help to get through the particularly hard parts of getting better.... if you feel you should spill it out to your pastor do so... OK???

((((((MAJOR MEGA HUGS))))))

***Looks Left***

***Looks Right***

***Looks Left again***

OK the coast is clear... soooooo.....

Have an extra special Ozzie {{{{{KOALA KUDDLE}}}}} as well...

Hey!!! I don't give those away very often... so Shhhh!!!! ... or everyone will be after one OK?

Definitely, Definitely praying for you mate...

Just wish there was more I could do for you mate...

Always can count on ya for encoragement and support J_L! Thanks for that special hug! Altho, this and your forum are God sends, I need RL support. I have to log off now, but thx fr the prayers and etc. I wish I was well and high-functioning, but im just me....

[abbey]

OK, good news! Which i believe is an answer to prayers!Your guyz prayers!

My husband just called and wants to go to family counseling! WOO-HOO! This is a shock to me and i believe God has intervened! So, ill try to stay strong until our appointment! Thx all for prayers, advice and care!

LOVE AB

[Reg]

(((((((Abbey)))))))))

You poor dear. Reading about your circumstances brings tears to my eyes.

Interestingly, I am listening to our senior Pastor's talk at the latest World Vision conference here in Toronto about suffering. It seems to be our lot in this fallen world. And furthermore, as Christians, we suffer in other ways that aren't recognized by the rest of the world.

The burning question is WHY?

When I was down and out deeply depressed, all I could do is cry. I couldn't face going out and meeting anyone until I had a good cry. I couldn't even talk to God but just cryed to Him on my knees and literally groaned. I was close to suicide. Gradually, I came to sense a closeness to Him I never had before. Through this period in my life, I developed a relationship with my/our Father through my groaning and pouring my heart out to Him when I felt His comfort.

When I started to recover, I realized that He was taking care of me when I couldn't take care of myself. These scriptures took on a new meaning with me.

Romans 8:15
For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father."

Galatians 4:6
Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, "Abba, Father."

I understood in a more profound way what that term "Abba, Father" meant.

Also, because I never knew my real father, I was considered an "Orphan".
I came to realize how Our Father looks to the widows and fatherless/orphans.

James 1:27 “Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, [and] to keep himself unspotted from the world.”

He became my Real Father in a special way. I know since He is "Abba, Father"
He will never leave us or forsake us like people do, even those of our own family. That word "Abba" is a very intimate one. It indicates a special closeness of heartfelt tenderness. It was the one Jesus used at one of the lowest points of His life.

Mark 14:36
"Abba, Father," he said, "everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will."

Matthew Henry's Commentary:

Christ's agony in the garden.

Christ's sufferings began with the sorest of all, those in his soul. He began to be sorely amazed; words not used in St. Matthew, but very full of meaning. The terrors of God set themselves in array against him, and he allowed him to contemplate them. Never was sorrow like unto his at this time. Now he was made a curse for us; the curses of the law were laid upon him as our Surety. He now tasted death, in all the bitterness of it. This was that fear of which the apostle speaks, the

natural fear of pain and death, at which human nature startles. Can we ever entertain favourable, or even slight thoughts of sin, when we see the painful sufferings which sin, though but reckoned to him, brought on the Lord Jesus? Shall that sit light upon our souls, which sat so heavy upon his? Was Christ in such agony for our sins, and shall we never be in agony about them? How should we look upon Him whom we have pierced, and mourn! It becomes us to be exceedingly sorrowful for sin, because

He was so, and never to mock at it. Christ, as Man, pleaded, that, if it were possible, his sufferings might pass from him. As Mediator, he submitted to the will of God, saying, Nevertheless, not what I will, but what thou wilt; I bid it welcome. See how the sinful weakness of Christ's disciples returns, and overpowers them. What heavy clogs these bodies of ours are to our souls! But when we see trouble at the door, we should get ready for it. Alas, even believers often look at the Redeemer's sufferings in a drowsy manner, and instead of being ready to die with Christ, they are not even prepared to watch with him one hour. (Mk 14:43-52)

Here is a good article on "Abba Father".
http://www.fathers.com/urban/artf02articles.htm

Abba Father
http://www.path-light.com/IAM11.htm

Please Father, take care of Abbey's needs.

[Voyager]

I'm not a psychologist, but it sounds more like PTSD than bi-polar if you ask me Abbey. With all of the traumas that you have been through, this is the way the human being copes with it (albeit not always in healthy ways). It would be good if you could find a counselor who specializes in PTSD. Otherwise, the triggering effects will make it hard for you to trust people. At the very least, I would encourage you to do some research on the Internet about Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome and see if you think this is what you are dealing with. It can't hurt any, and it may very well help you cope with the symptoms.

I have had a lot of the symptoms you described, including the panic attacks. I attribute them all to PTSD.

:cool:

[Voyager]

I mean, this a$$hole cant be talked any sense into. Im baggage, and altho he knows that my son loves me and needs to see me, i think he secretly wishes i was dead---gone---outta his hair. He wants all control. he gives me some money and stuff, but it aint worth all this abuse.
It sounds like this is going to take more than family counseling. This guy is going to need to acknowledge his problems and submit to some personal counseling and rehabilitation before he ever enters into a healthy marriage relationship with anybody. It may very well be that a lot of your PTSD symptoms are coming from the trauma you have endured at the hands of this guy, if in fact he is as abusive as you say he is.

Sometimes we love people who are just not good for us. Look at how many of us loved our former abusive pastors - who were definitely not good for us. Sometimes we cannot see the light until we get completely away from the abuse... and only then can we begin the road to recovery.

Wishing you the best Abbey.

:cool:

[butterfly]

[[[[[[[[[[[[[[Abby]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

I don"t have much time to respond right now.
Just wanted to give you a hug and tell you I am thinking about you.:) butterfly shilrey

[Jerry]

((((((((((Abby))))))))))) :(

[abbey]

(((((((Abbey)))))))))

You poor dear. Reading about your circumstances brings tears to my eyes.

Interestingly, I am listening to our senior Pastor's talk at the latest World Vision conference here in Toronto about suffering. It seems to be our lot in this fallen world. And furthermore, as Christians, we suffer in other ways that aren't recognized by the rest of the world.

The burning question is WHY?

When I was down and out deeply depressed, all I could do is cry. I couldn't face going out and meeting anyone until I had a good cry. I couldn't even talk to God but just cryed to Him on my knees and literally groaned. I was close to suicide. Gradually, I came to sense a closeness to Him I never had before. Through this period in my life, I developed a relationship with my/our Father through my groaning and pouring my heart out to Him when I felt His comfort.

When I started to recover, I realized that He was taking care of me when I couldn't take care of myself. These scriptures took on a new meaning with me.

Romans 8:15
For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father."

Galatians 4:6
Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, "Abba, Father."

I understood in a more profound way what that term "Abba, Father" meant.

Also, because I never knew my real father, I was considered an "Orphan".
I came to realize how Our Father looks to the widows and fatherless/orphans.

James 1:27 “Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, [and] to keep himself unspotted from the world.”

He became my Real Father in a special way. I know since He is "Abba, Father"
He will never leave us or forsake us like people do, even those of our own family. That word "Abba" is a very intimate one. It indicates a special closeness of heartfelt tenderness. It was the one Jesus used at one of the lowest points of His life.

Mark 14:36
"Abba, Father," he said, "everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will."

Matthew Henry's Commentary:

Christ's agony in the garden.

Christ's sufferings began with the sorest of all, those in his soul. He began to be sorely amazed; words not used in St. Matthew, but very full of meaning. The terrors of God set themselves in array against him, and he allowed him to contemplate them. Never was sorrow like unto his at this time. Now he was made a curse for us; the curses of the law were laid upon him as our Surety. He now tasted death, in all the bitterness of it. This was that fear of which the apostle speaks, the

natural fear of pain and death, at which human nature startles. Can we ever entertain favourable, or even slight thoughts of sin, when we see the painful sufferings which sin, though but reckoned to him, brought on the Lord Jesus? Shall that sit light upon our souls, which sat so heavy upon his? Was Christ in such agony for our sins, and shall we never be in agony about them? How should we look upon Him whom we have pierced, and mourn! It becomes us to be exceedingly sorrowful for sin, because

He was so, and never to mock at it. Christ, as Man, pleaded, that, if it were possible, his sufferings might pass from him. As Mediator, he submitted to the will of God, saying, Nevertheless, not what I will, but what thou wilt; I bid it welcome. See how the sinful weakness of Christ's disciples returns, and overpowers them. What heavy clogs these bodies of ours are to our souls! But when we see trouble at the door, we should get ready for it. Alas, even believers often look at the Redeemer's sufferings in a drowsy manner, and instead of being ready to die with Christ, they are not even prepared to watch with him one hour. (Mk 14:43-52)

Here is a good article on "Abba Father".
http://www.fathers.com/urban/artf02articles.htm

Abba Father
http://www.path-light.com/IAM11.htm

Please Father, take care of Abbey's needs.

Beautiful post Reg! I have often of late felt like Christ in the garden. I guess thinkig that is pretty immature of me, afterall, He was to be crucified for all. But i feel 'agonies' too.

Just to hear that you reached out to God with groans and tears helps me because thats what i do too. No great, well -worded, praise-filled prayers. Just groans and weeping, almost a begging of sorts. I havent checked your links yet, but if i ever needed a father, it is now! After i respond to all, i will read them.

I hope God sees how his so-called annointed have treated me. I hope He understands the depths of my confusion and the longing of my heart to know his true character. And if He sees fit, to punish the culprits. All i go thru reg, all the injustice i have dealt with in my life---that cult, in 9 short months, is indeed the most damaging! So my difficult life circumstances are highly magnified by my cult experience!

Thank you dear brother! Thanks! :)

[abbey]

I'm not a psychologist, but it sounds more like PTSD than bi-polar if you ask me Abbey. With all of the traumas that you have been through, this is the way the human being copes with it (albeit not always in healthy ways). It would be good if you could find a counselor who specializes in PTSD. Otherwise, the triggering effects will make it hard for you to trust people. At the very least, I would encourage you to do some research on the Internet about Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome and see if you think this is what you are dealing with. It can't hurt any, and it may very well help you cope with the symptoms.

I have had a lot of the symptoms you described, including the panic attacks. I attribute them all to PTSD.

:cool:

well actually Voyager, i went to the cult AFTER a very long hospitalization. *sigh*

The bi-polar is now coupled with PTSD! Fun, fun, fun! These Christian clowns took a very fragile lady and heaped on loads of more BS for me to deal with. You know the crud--if you leave, your going to lose salvation. The devil will devour. ETC.

so, nope, my issues are long-standing. Now we just gotta throw post cult crap in there! BUT...i have broken down and decided to seek therapy again. AS much as i wanted to avoid it. Im tired of people playing with my head. But, im certain they are safer than legalistic, on-fire, crazymatics! LOL..

Thank you voyager, ill certainly lookup PTSD! Peace!

[abbey]

It sounds like this is going to take more than family counseling. This guy is going to need to acknowledge his problems and submit to some personal counseling and rehabilitation before he ever enters into a healthy marriage relationship with anybody. It may very well be that a lot of your PTSD symptoms are coming from the trauma you have endured at the hands of this guy, if in fact he is as abusive as you say he is.

Sometimes we love people who are just not good for us. Look at how many of us loved our former abusive pastors - who were definitely not good for us. Sometimes we cannot see the light until we get completely away from the abuse... and only then can we begin the road to recovery.

Wishing you the best Abbey.

:cool:

THx for wishing me the best!

This dude is a puzzle! IF I COULD never see him again, id be blessed! LOL..BUT...as the situation stands we have parented a child together and will always have some kind of contact!

I have encouraged him to seek anger-mangement. This is where Im really relying on God, cause it will take a miracle!

But truthfully, family counseling may NOT be a miraculous solution, but it may benefit. A small step in a good direction. First meeting---MONDAY!

THX again voyager.

[abbey]

[[[[[[[[[[[[[[Abby]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

I don"t have much time to respond right now.
Just wanted to give you a hug and tell you I am thinking about you.:) butterfly shilrey

THX for the big hug! I need it! Butterfly, any prayers woud be sufficent. Just a few mentions to God for strength and help. I feel bad being so personal and off topic. I hope the Lord brings some RL support, cause im a lil weak ATM! LOL...understatement!

[abbey]

((((((((((Abby))))))))))) :(

Thats ONE BIG HUG BRO! LOL...

Im doing better than when i posted, so fear not! I never feel comfortable spilling my guts to a forum, but strangely it worked somewhat! I dont feel quite as desperate???? Go figure.???

THX Jer---your an alright guy! :)

[Theodora]

Dr. Grohol's "Psych Central"--- I've not looked at this for a while, but have in the past been impressed with the wide variety of on-line recommendations which seemed to be very well researched. If interested, see http://psychcentral.com/resources/

The NACR site also has resources for recommending help.... See http://www.nacronline.com/dox/gethelp/therapy.shtml

I'm thankful that you've 1) got on-line access (MUCH good help available and I do believe that these forums are really good) and 2) that there might be some "real life" help available for you as well.

My heart goes out to you and I'll be keeping you and yours in prayer. (I usually post on the NACR forum, but try to read here too as able. I hope you don't mind my jumping in on your thread without previously getting acquainted a bit.)

I found myself nodding in agreement with many of the responses you've had so far. In my misc. "travels," the only thing I'd add to the mix is the thought that it seems to me that people are most likely to "blame" other people for their troubles (as your husband seems to do to you) when THEY are least able to cope. It's nice to be able to feel that the distress is someone else's "problem" and NOT of your doing. That being said, it's also important to note that frequently those "closest" to you--biologically or otherwise--are the least able to be able to offer the kind of support that is needed. It's NOT necessarily that they "don't care," but simply that they're too close to the issues involved to be able to sort out the best way to go. ...hence...the need for therapists and support groups!

Keep up the good work in finding what YOU need to "move on!"

Blessings to you and yours this day--

Theodora





OK, good news! Which i believe is an answer to prayers!Your guyz prayers!

My husband just called and wants to go to family counseling! WOO-HOO! This is a shock to me and i believe God has intervened! So, ill try to stay strong until our appointment! Thx all for prayers, advice and care!

LOVE AB

[abbey]

Theo, I have to agree whole-heartedly about the people closest being the least able to help. They want to sweep away the ilness and the cult thing---act like all will resolve itself, by itself! LOL...its evident to me, just from observing this forum that SA, doesnt just resolve itself...but is a LOOONNNGGG process of healing! If i didnt have this group,even just to be able to nod my head and relate, on a daily basis, WHO WOULD I HAVE? Who is skilled in post cult/sa matters? I HAD to get online after I came home from the cult because I KNEW this would be a source of healing.

well, i aint so desperate as when i first posted! Cheers, and hollars for everyones support and resources! TRULY---thx, even for your EARS...urrm...EYES! :)

Thx for your input, concern and links. My best to you!

[ex-shep]

If you live in an urban area, I would look for a bi-polar support group. An internet search should do the trick. Calls to public social service agencies may help.

If there is a large church with a sizeable Celebrate Recovery group, there is usually a bi-polar subgroup.

Hope the leads help.

[abbey]

wow, ex-shep...never thought about that!!! That could do me some good, being with others who have the illness! It is such a difficulty being misunderstood. Perhaps talking with others similary afflicted could help!

Tis true, that we need to seek a multitude of counselors!

Thx Bro! And ill check into celebrate recovery...i heard you talk about it before!!

[ex-shep]

wow, ex-shep...never thought about that!!! That could do me some good, being with others who have the illness! It is such a difficulty being misunderstood. Perhaps talking with others similary afflicted could help!

Tis true, that we need to seek a multitude of counselors!

Thx Bro! And ill check into celebrate recovery...i heard you talk about it before!!

It is uncanny when one reveals the obvious. No offense given, of course. :)

[Reg]

Just read this and thought of you abbey.

************************************************** **********

NACR Daily Meditation for Wednesday, Jan 31, 2007

************************************************** **********

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what
we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself prays for us with groans that
words cannot express. Romans 8:26

When we are alone, when our private terrors have left us without the ability
to speak, when even the simplest of prayers ["Help!"] is more
that our weary hearts can muster - those are the times we need God's Spirit
most of all.

It is life itself to know that God pays attention to us. The Spirit of the
Living God is with us and is attentive to our weakness. God does not shame
us for our weakness. Our weakness is not a bad thing to God. Our weakness
is simply a reality. The Spirit's response to our weakness is to help us.
God is on our side. The Spirit knows us and loves us. God knows the pain that
crushes us. God helps us in our weakness.

In those moments when we have been silenced by life, the Spirit prays for
us. The Spirit prays with groans for which there is no language. When we are not able to pray we can find comfort and hope in the promise that the Spirit
is praying for us.

Oh God
I need to be reminded when I feel so absolutely alone
that you know my pain,
you know my weakness.

When I come to the end of words,
when my mind is full of confusion,
help me to remember that you pray for me.

When I am overwhelmed with despair,
when I want to give up,
when I want to run away in fear,
it is only your presence,
gentle, powerful Friend,
that gives me hope and strength.

I need your help today.
I need you to pray for me.
Amen

Copyright 1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan
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