Home Sweet Home

[SJPEERYVA85]

Hello everyone. I just found this forum yesterday while checking out how to talk to my teenage girl. Go figure.
I have been devouring the posts to this board ever since!! I can't believe what I have read so far!
I don't know where to begin my story, and really it is so long. I have been the victim of spiritual abuse twice now. Maybe more, as my parents were involved heavily in the World Wide Church of God and the Jehovahs Witnesses, when I was a child/adolesent.
I became a Christian 23 years ago through the Methodist Church and left there to join a charismatic fellowship, which started out fairly healthy (I think) but the pastor that started the work left and the one that took his place was scarey menipulative. We left there and went to a Reformed Presbyterian church, which again started out as a sweet time (Again, I think) but after 10years or so became totally Pastor driven and controlling. So many problems.
During all of this time I have been married to an abusive husband with obsessive cumpulsive junk hoarding sickness. And I gave birth to and homeschooled 4 children.
Right now, I am in an evagelical presbyterian church where there is so much healthy debate and encouragement to develop as individuals. I am recently divorced and desperatly trying to find out who I really am.
I have had eating disorders and drinking and drug tendencies in the past and find myself smoking too many cigs, and feeling very drawn to a local bar, at least on Friday nights. I am fighting depression and hoping to find some answers. Maybe you all can help me out through prayer and as I continue to read here through your insight and Hope that seeing God heal you all, He will also continue to give me strength to Keep on Standing.
I know this has been kind of a crazy disjointed post. Hopefully as time goes on I will be able to be more focused. Thanks for reading and giving me your time and consideration.:)
In Christ I am,
StillStanding.

[SpinningHead]

Dear SS,

You must have found us for a reason! :) It sounds like you have certainly gone through it, poor girl! I'm glad you found us and I'm glad you decided to post. You are much welcome here.

:)

[SJPEERYVA85]

Thank you so much SH! or should i call you Alice? Things are pretty good right now except for the smoking too much (my these things are expensive) and the depression, which I know would ease up if I would only excersize. But I find it so hard to get moving when I am depressed.....
Mostly though, my concern is for my children who are also victims here. I still have a 13 year old daughter with me who is now attending Public School and is having a good time with the youth group at the church, but my older kids want nothing to do with God, equating Him, mistakenly, with the harsh, legalistic church we attended. Plus thier father's sad state has made them feel like his junk is more important than they are to him.(he not only gathered huge unsanitary amounts of the crap, but after bagering me night after night and leaving me either in tears or blowing up in an attempt to defened myself and the kids, would then happily leave to house and spend the whole evening in his junk, playing) So they are much in need of prayer.
They are so young, and confused.

[SpinningHead]

Thank you so much SH! or should i call you Alice? Things are pretty good right now except for the smoking too much (my these things are expensive) and the depression, which I know would ease up if I would only excersize. But I find it so hard to get moving when I am depressed.....
Mostly though, my concern is for my children who are also victims here. I still have a 13 year old daughter with me who is now attending Public School and is having a good time with the youth group at the church, but my older kids want nothing to do with God, equating Him, mistakenly, with the harsh, legalistic church we attended. Plus thier father's sad state has made them feel like his junk is more important than they are to him.(he not only gathered huge unsanitary amounts of the crap, but after bagering me night after night and leaving me either in tears or blowing up in an attempt to defened myself and the kids, would then happily leave to house and spend the whole evening in his junk, playing) So they are much in need of prayer.
They are so young, and confused.

SH is fine. :)

I know how hard this whole process can be...still going through it. These jerk-pastors and "leadership" type-people of authority put themselves in positions to be pleased instead of emphasizing that your real relationship is with God and NOT them! It's so easy to fall into the trap of hating God for what people who said they were of Him did to us. :( That's like blaming your children for what other kids who go to the same school do but your kids had nothing to do with it.

Your pains and hurts didn't happen overnight...neither will your healing. Or your kid's healing for that matter. Be kind to yourself. Coming on to this forum and putting yourself out there is a big step.

You are safe here. We have so many wonderful people with lots of great insight.

I'm glad you're here.

[Reg]

Hello everyone. I just found this forum yesterday while checking out how to talk to my teenage girl. Go figure.
I have been devouring the posts to this board ever since!! I can't believe what I have read so far!

snip

Maybe more, as my parents were involved heavily in the World Wide Church of God and the Jehovahs Witnesses, when I was a child/adolesent.

snip

I have had eating disorders and drinking and drug tendencies in the past and find myself smoking too many cigs, and feeling very drawn to a local bar, at least on Friday nights. I am fighting depression and hoping to find some answers. Maybe you all can help me out through prayer and as I continue to read here through your insight and Hope that seeing God heal you all, He will also continue to give me strength to Keep on Standing.
I know this has been kind of a crazy disjointed post. Hopefully as time goes on I will be able to be more focused. Thanks for reading and giving me your time and consideration.:)
In Christ I am,
StillStanding.
Again WECOME.

These have been written specifically for those who have been abused and those who are trying to
recover from other difficulties.

This is a good one to start with. Hopefully, you will find them of great value.

************************************************** **********

NACR Daily Meditation for Monday, Dec 25, 2006

************************************************** **********

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are
wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14

We are God's creation. God made us. And what God makes is wonderful.

This may sound pretty obvious, but we probably need to remind ourselves
that it is not everything-and-everybody-except-me that is wonderfully made.
It is everything-and-everybody-including-me that is fearfully and wonderfully
made by God.

When we have learned to see ourselves as people without value, when we have
internalized contempt as the basis for our personal identity, it is difficult
to see ourselves as one of God's wonderful works.

But you are one of God's wonderful works. You are precious to God. You are
a unique, irreplaceable expression of God's creative love.

It is good to praise God for making us. It is good to see ourselves as a
reason for thanksgiving and awe. God made our minds, our emotions, our needs,
our bodies, our creativity, our longings, our hopes. God is a marvelous creator
who made us wonderfully.

You are one of God's wonderful works. You can praise God that he made you
wonderfully.

Thank you,
Creator God,
that you made me.
and that all that you make is wonderful
including me.
Amen

Copyright 1991 Dale and Juanita Ryan

Here is where you can find other daily meditations.
http://two.pairlist.net/pipermail/nacrmed/2006-December/001529.html

BTW, I was a member of the WCG for 29 years. I exited in 1997.

[abbey]

hi!

Welcome to Christain recovery! Man, i thank God i found this group. Very intelligent, good-hearted folk. I am struggling with the effects of a 9 month stay in a christian cult and this is a great place of understanding. i notice ppl take the time to listen and REALLY respond. Not just throw a bone to appease, but really try!!!

I have depression and smoking habits too. We are not your pefect holier than others type folks. but ppl who just want to know Christ in a true way and heal from our SA!

Post away, ive yet to feel not included, or I dont fit in type thing. Idont have a lot of advice for you, as im new. But welcome, i hope this place is of help to you.


Love abbey

[SJPEERYVA85]

Again, thank you SH!
God has already been working healing in my heart. It is good to know that relapses are normal, that others experience these things too. I guess I have been looking at the emotional upheavals and thinking that I have done wrong in leaving these hurtful places. With so many areas of my life being abusive and having no choice but to leave them, it has left me feeling like I am just a quitter. or a troublemaker. Have any of you experienced these thoughts.

I was also wondering if it is normal, leaving a church where what was coming from the pulpit was excellent teaching. It was the way that teaching was being applied that was heavy handed and causing God's people to never do anything for God in fear that they will do something wrong. That and the isolationism I was experiencing were some of the main reasons we left that church. I was amazed to see what God was doing through other people outside of out little camp after I got delivered!!! He had been moving!!

As a result of drinking too much and not being able to quit, I started going to AA and was recieving victory over drunkness but the pastor told me that AA was just another group of people that were not walking in truth. That was the last straw. We quit going to that church rather than risk me going back to drinking the way I was. That was all, about 3 years ago.

I'm not going to AA anymore either, I was interested in the 16 Step thread that I never could find Part 2 to.

[SJPEERYVA85]

Thank you Abbey! We are all in the same boat. Whether we know it or not. I would rather know it. I am glad for what I have gone through because it has brought me to a place of knowing that I am not any better than anyone. Not even the pastors of the churches I left or my ex hubby. I just feel sorry for them, (at least that's how i know I should feel.)

Eventually, I know I will, in a more consistant way, truely release them to God and bath them in prayer.

[butterfly]

:) Welcome S S,

You are very welcome here. We are understanding and loving.

Some of us do have depression and PTSD.
We support each other with that also.

I am in depression right now to the point I am isolating. Phone ringers shut off ect. It is not fun to feel this way. I just go with the flow. I will come up for air sometime.
butterfly shirley

[yeshua'smags]

Hi! Welcome to the club!:D :eek: I'm so sorry for all you and your kids have been through. I work with the youth at our church, I know how hard it can be to reach them. Thank God your 13 year old is loving youth group! That is what saved me when I was a teenager.

I'm so happy you found us! Don't you love God's "Happy Accidents"?

[SJPEERYVA85]

Thank you Shirley and Maggie! You all are a very warm and welcome bunch and I feel privileged to get to meet you!

I hope the depression passes soon Shirley. That's when the walk by faith and not by sight and More blessed are those that believe and don't see scriptures ring true in my ears.

And Maggie, thanks for what you do for the youth! I thank God for you. A couple of moms and I meet together to pray for the youth of our church during youth group time. I will add you to the list for tonite.

[Hope 98]

Just adding my "welcome to the group" to the group's welcomes :)

This is a good place where most of us know at least some of what you're going through and when you put that all together we'll probably have you pretty much covered.

I pray that you'll be blessed here.

[SJPEERYVA85]

Thank you Hope. I have enjoyed reading some of your posts.

[Jerry]

Dear Sj,,,,,
Too many cigs,too much booze,friday nite at the bar ?????? tough sledin in life ??????????? Sweetie ,,,,it sounds like you will fit right in on our board :D
WELCOME ,,,,,,,,,,,,,Love Jerry

[SJPEERYVA85]

Hey Jerry! Thanks, for the welcome. I do feel like this is a good place for me to be and that's why I named this thread Home Sweet Home.

[Jerry]

As a result of drinking too much and not being able to quit, I started going to AA and was recieving victory over drunkness but the pastor told me that AA was just another group of people that were not walking in truth. That was the last straw. We quit going to that church rather than risk me going back to drinking the way I was. That was all, about 3 years ago.

I'm not going to AA anymore either, I was interested in the 16 Step thread that I never could find Part 2 to.

Dear Sj,,,,,
What that stupid Pastor forgot to tell you is this,,,,,,,;AA is for getting sobor,,,,,,,,after that ,,,,,well maybe you can be saved ;) See what I mean ??? :D
Love Jerry

[SJPEERYVA85]

I don't think it was something he forgot, I believe it was something he never knew but said he did. He knows everything about everything. One of the Problems with these situations. Lack of humility and arrogance. You would never get him to admit it though. He always said he is humble. HMMMM...I wonder if that is a sign...

[Jerry]

I don't think it was something he forgot, I believe it was something he never knew but said he did. He knows everything about everything. One of the Problems with these situations. Lack of humility and arrogance. You would never get him to admit it though. He always said he is humble. HMMMM...I wonder if that is a sign...

Dear Sj,,,,
Ya know what I love about "Know it alls" ??????,,,,,,,,,,,,Ya don't even have to stick your foot out,,,,,,,they trip over themselves :D .............Your a very refreshing newbie,,,,,ya must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle LOL :D
Love Jerry

[SJPEERYVA85]

"ya must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle LOL :D "
Welll... i did get a D in conduct in 2nd grade cause I talk too much... other than that I have no idea of what you are speaking sir!!;)

[Jerry]

"ya must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle LOL :D "
Welll... i did get a D in conduct in 2nd grade cause I talk too much... other than that I have no idea of what you are speaking sir!!;)

,,,,,,:D ,,,,,,anyway ,,,,,glad to have you here :D

[Reg]

snip

I'm not going to AA anymore either, I was interested in the 16 Step thread that I never could find Part 2 to.
Here is the thread.
http://www.christianrecovery.com/vb/showthread.php?t=5998&highlight=Steps

Part two is immediately below part one.