View Full Version : 16 Steps vs 12 Steps
Part 2
July 27/04 - 16 Steps vs 12 Steps
The questions we, the spiritually abused, have and pose, need to be heard and a reasonable
attempt to answer them has to be put forward. If we are dissed in any way, shape or form we will
withdraw. We will be gone and lost to the influence of those who lead recovery groups for good.
To restore a trust we believe has been violated will be virtually impossible for someone who has
suffered from spiritual abuse. We need to be FREE THINKERS and any attempt to "control" us
will trigger us and bring anger and resentment within us. It will close down lines of
communication. It seems, only those who have been spiritually abused and understand this sacred
trust should be in positions of leadership in a 16 Step program. If not, we will eventually lose
interest in the people who cannot understand our inner yearning, confusion and disillusionment!
The 16 Step program needs to lead people to a level of transformation and maturity where they
no longer need a 12 Step group identity. They will arrive at the point where they see their own
unique place in God's creation and the purpose for their lives. They then will move forcibly
forward empowered by this passion and sense of mission to fulfill their God-given destinies to
become part of the solution ushering in God's Kingdom on earth. They can't go back to a program
of dependency because they know too much. One more thing. In this awareness, they also
discover, unfortunately, many people are content to settle for the "status quo" who don't want to
confront the system and move forward. This has been frustrating for us as we are often looked
upon as a special elite who are perceived as having special knowledge with big egos. Although
because of our experiences and trauma, there may be some justification for that kind of thinking
by others, we don't feel better or superior with inflated egos. We just feel "DIFFERENT"! A
unique, one-of-a-kind creation of God.
Looking back over the posts I started, I came across this one back on 09-15-2004. It is a page
from my journal and thinking I may be able to implement something like this in my local church.
I found out that it is not the place to start this as there didn’t appear to be much interest. I would
have to start this apart from my local church.
July 27/04 - 16 Steps vs 12 Steps
In reading the book "Many Roads - One Journey" I read on page 48 where it talks about a new
group that uses the 16 Steps I gave to two leaders in our church. After nearly a year I have
received NO FEEDBACK! even though I asked for some. The 16 Steps help move people who
have moved to [Stage 4: Late Adolescence and Early Adulthood, The Critic: Ages sixteen -
twenties and thirties] of their faithing (journey of faith) and are no longer dependent on a
traditional 12 Step program. They have moved past a dependency level of a Program to one of
personal empowerment and one that honours their own wisdom & internal strength. Dependency
on an external set of rules or dogma needs to be replaced thusly if one is going to grow & mature
into someone with a healthy ego that has an autonomy balanced with interdependency. Such a
program of 16 Steps that moves beyond the rigid 12 Step program is necessary to develop a
person's God-given potential here and now. Through such a program, people will be empowered
to find their own unique place in the Universe. Instead of rigidity to a traditional 12 Step mantra,
they will be encouraged to think for themselves and question those things that don't "feel" right.
We cannot slide into a dangerous one-size-fits-all mode that is sure to be wrong for many people.
If we remember the overall goals are to alleviate people's suffering, we can put our rigid egos
aside and ask, "What works? What doesn't work?" Are there ways support groups could be more
effective, possibly for different groups of people such as those who have been spiritually abused?
Because of my two years in Celebrate Recovery as the Assimilator Coach, CR is NOT the place
for the spiritually abused. A program embracing the 16 Steps that is more flexible and doesn't
insist on rigid conformity is what is needed to help them move past the pain and trauma they
suffered from the last group they left. Only such a program can give them the support they need
to help them begin to "Trust" again. This is one of their greatest needs, to have their "trust
muscle" healed at the deepest level of their being. They need an Authentic, caring place based on
LOVE! Love creates TRUST! It helps move us beyond our fears. Love leads to a state of
openness grounded in faith. A faith that acknowledges that the life we have is a miracle of God
and we are His children. This FAITH & LOVE leads to the knowledge that despite our many
differences, we share a common heritage and a desire for LOVE, PURPOSE AND
COMMUNITY that connects us to our fellow man. If we fear, it blocks love. We have to express
our fears in a knowledgeable "SAFE" and I mean "REALLY SAFE" group(s) to move past those
blockages of love in order to feel the healing POWER OF CHRIST'S LOVE enter as a healing
balm. A balm that one feels deeply within to the point of tears at the wonderment of it. It is this
experience of abuse that Jesus understands deeply and is closely and intimately sensitive to the
Spiritually Abused because He paid the ultimate price confronting the established religious
system of His day. He was the most abused of us all to the point of the Cross and His
crucifiction.
We need to find ways to create SAFETY in these 16 Step recovery (uncover/discover) groups so
there are fewer instances of CONTROL, ALIENATION & EXPLOITATION. All of these are
areas the spiritually abused understand completely. We need to instill in people a sense of
internal power that they lack in their "POWERLESSNESS". It is this attitude that fosters a new
dependency on their recovery groups. Recovery grounded on fear does not lead to the
development of a healthy aware ego (self-image).
We will remain as children tied to a 12 Step program because we have not internalized our own
belief systems and have given this power to another person or program. We need to be mature
people who live by their own internal morals and authority. The 16 Steps will focus on being
HEALTHY, spent with/where people are supportive,. flexible & caring. It will help a person fill
in some missing pieces from their childhood and move forward in their relationship with God
and their fellow man. It cannot be rigid and dogmatic which will only reinforce the rigid,
authoritarian faith/group/church/cult they left or rather escaped from that was full of legalism.
To lock them into a similar 12 Step program will present too many triggers that will make them
withdraw. While initially it may seem to help them, they will eventually leave because they
realize they have to stuff too much to stay connected to the group at the cost of their human
development. By staying locked in a rigid box/set of rules and authority like the controlling
group/church/cult they left, they will continue to stuff and not advance in their healing.
Eventually they will leave when it becomes too unbearable.
The need to heal and form trusting bonds again is PARAMOUNT to their recovery. This occurs
at a very deep spiritual level. They need to learn what LOVE is, all over again. They need to have
people who are willing to listen to them without interruption. This will demonstrate to them love
in action when they sense real compassion, humility, kindness and most of all a validity and
understanding of the trauma and pain they experienced. They need to find a place where they can
be free to express their feelings. What they really feel without stuffing. Feelings by themselves
are not wrong. They are real. They need to be felt. However, what we do about them can be quite
another thing. Expressed in an understanding group can defuse much of the negative downside of
that problem.
Solutions have to "feel" right for each individual if they are truly going to last. They need to be
more than "bandage" therapy solutions. If there is little room for questioning, then a certain fear
sets in that leads on to believe that the program is unchangeable or the leader/facilitator is too
controlling. This is very triggering for the spiritually abused. Conformity has been a standard way
we have sidestepped confrontation. It has been what has caused us our pain initially when we got
out of step with our former groups and made us "one of them" so we will avoid confrontation at
all costs. We do not want to take a backward step in our journey and enter a program at a more
mature level of our faithing by being asked to go back to a more childlike state of faith in order to
get well. We understand that our attitude needs to be childlike yet that trust is what has been
violated and to have others insist we have to trust them and what they say has to be earned. To do
so would mean to trade in our personal identity and attach to "The Program". If there isn't room
for shades of gray, then there isn't room for the Spiritually Abused. Instead of giving people "pat"
answers, it can be healing & strengthening to ask some questions such as "What seems to help
you the most? What do you think? and then REALLY LISTEN! This will take a long time and
can be frustrating for those in leadership positions.
We cannot allow dependency to go too far that leads to conformity, harmony & agreement. This
leads to group symbiosis & dependency. Instead of "growing" within a Community of like
believers, a person's identity becomes dependent on belonging to a group and they fail to honour
their own wisdom and internal strength. This leads us back to fear.
Although small groups have an immense capacity for healing, it is important that we not attribute
this healing capacity solely to a 12 Step program. In these programs, people in recovery from
their many and several addictions & dysfunctions have replaced their dependency on them to that
of a healthy dependency on their group. But this dependency can go too far. We need to have our
own internal sense of power and realize, in the end, we are responsible for our own recovery
(uncover and discover). We need to honour our own internal compass and respect our own
wisdom & internal strength. If it doesn't "feel" right, it probably isn't for us. Our "gut" feelings
have often been right in the past and we ignored them only to our own hurt. We cannot afford to
do so in the future. The cliche' "Be true to thine own self" is what we ignored in the past and lead
us or allowed ourselves to be abused. We were subtly deceived to abandon our "critical thinking
process". To do that is dangerous. Victimization is the result and there are too many out there
who will take advantage of this for their own purposes.
(Continued in part 2)
Jerry
12-14-2006, 11:35 AM
Dear Reg,,,,
If you ever figure out a way to get the clergy to develop a program designed to help people grow beyond a need for said clergy you will revolutionize the religious world,,,,,,,,,,and your new title will be "Oh Great Wise One" :D I loved that old post,,,,,if we could just get them to do it !!!!
Love Jerry
I want to up date this thread.
I read this article on Counselor Magazine and it brought some things to mind.
http://www.counselormagazine.com/content/view/152/63/
I do not agree with some of what Charlotte Kasl says about feminism and total self-reliance. She uses New Age concepts about Zen and one Universal energy which depersonalizes God. Having said that, I like the idea of personal empowerment and not being totally dependent on a 12 Step recovery group. Although very helpful for support, one has to use their God-given strengths to be free from their hurts, habits and hangups. The personal empowerment we need to really overcome comes from God. He gives us this personally and also through our God-given abilities. We have a part to play in the recovery process in utilizing them to overcome our difficulties.
bpico
01-23-2008, 11:04 AM
Reg,
I hear you. I have appreciated your bringing this up from time to time. I know also there are a few secular blogs and such trying to discount the 12 steps and how unempowering they are. The evangelical church has embraced this very deceptive form of manipulation that I see no longer as being in line with the Gospel (good news) of Jesus. One day I hope it wakes up.
Blessings
I have recently signed up on this bulletin board as RB. I need feedback to see how I can use the 16 Steps in a practical way in my local area.
http://16steps.niceboard.com/index.htm
Hi, Reg,
I read the materials on 16 steps vs. 12 steps, etc. What I'm about to say is probably irrelevant to what you're asking for here, but I'll say it anyway (I'm not known for keeping my mouth shut... ;) :) :p ).
I just think that whatever puts Jesus Christ at the center of all it does is fine; whatever does not is not fine - for a Christian. John 3:30...
If everyone else in the entire world disses me tomorrow... If my husband were to leave me, if my son were to sever contact with me forever, if the new church decided it didn't need me, if all of my friends dropped me - it wouldn't matter in the long run. Sure, it would cause exquisite, immediate pain - but I'd still have the Lord. If I suddenly had nothing but the clothes on my back... Well, I still remember enough Bible verses to get me through and keep me with Him.
Charlotte Kasl is plugging into "powers and principalities" and her site creeps me out. You're absolutely right when you say that
"The personal empowerment we need to really overcome comes from God."
He's the only one from whom "empowerment" of any lasting kind comes. I don't want empowerment of myself; I want Christ's power only. His matters; my own doesn't. He is all and is in all; this world is His. Indignities suffered, losses sustained: they're all to be given to Him. Christ teaches us ultimately to trust Him and only Him, not other people.
That's just my opinion; TWWALTR...
Love in our Lord Jesus Christ,
mary
Totally agree with you Mary. That's why I said there were things about her philosophy I don't agree with. She's a New-Ager which denies the the personal identity of God. However, the 16 Steps of empowerment can be used by those of us who were spiritually abused. The only other program that is available for many of us is the 12 Steps and the CR program which is based on them but is Christ-entered. It still doesn't go far enough. It may be something we could use to a point. However, I believe many of us are farther along in our faith journey and more mature because of our experiences.
As I wrote below: "The 16 Steps help move people who have moved to [Stage 4: Late Adolescence and Early Adulthood, The Critic: Ages sixteen -twenties and thirties] of their faithing (journey of faith) and are no longer dependent on a traditional 12 Step program. They have moved past a dependency level of a Program to one of personal empowerment and one that honours their own wisdom & internal strength.
I am simply taking the wheat from the chaff. There is much about her philosophy that I cannot agree with. But, I feel the 16 Steps by themselves are solid and a good platform for us to use to help us with our SA recovery.
As I commented on the Counselor Magazine article: http://www.counselormagazine.com/content/view/152/63/
"I do not agree with some of what Charlotte Kasl says about feminism and total self-reliance. She uses New Age concepts about Zen and one Universal energy which depersonalizes God. Having said that, I like the idea of personal empowerment and not being totally dependent on a 12 Step recovery group. Although very helpful for support, one has to use their God-given strengths to be free from their hurts, habits and hangups. The personal empowerment we need to really overcome comes from God. He gives us this personally and also through our God-given abilities. We have a part to play in the recovery process in utilizing them to overcome our difficulties."
"The personal empowerment we need to really overcome comes from God."
That's a most important quote from your post, Reg, and totally in tune with Luke 1:37 and Philippians 4:13. We're in step, except that I just think that with a person like Kasl, "a little leaven leaveneth the whole loaf." 1 Corinthians 5:6; Galatians 5:9. If she's tapping into a spirit of depersonalizing our very personal God, why would we need that?
I guess this kind of discussion engages me because my old "pastor" was into the occult. He was a martial arts practitioner and teacher who had seen to it that his adult daughter earned a black belt in karate. He wore bracelets for "channeling" purposes while standing in the pulpit, purporting to preach the Gospel. He made himself into a nearly ideal conduit for the occult -- and I watched in then-unacknowledged horror as that sort of thing took him over. His inculcation of and belief in the occult eventually resulted in great harm to me, but I didn't recognize it at the time. The fall-out from it almost literally killed me. No details...
I just think that any time we begin to believe that the philosophies and the remedies of this world, those that exclude Jesus Christ, can help us, we're heading down a very dangerous road. Been there, done that, via a physician who's part believer, part New Ager and part Kabbalah doyen. Still trying to free myself from him, but he has my cell phone number and when I try to break free of him completely, he calls relentlessly... :( :( :( I'd change the cell phone number, but it's also our new church number.
May the Lord bless you richly, Reg, and give you more and more of His Holy Spirit by the day!
Your fond sister in our Lord and Savior,
mary
Once again agree thoroughly Mary.
That's why I modified them to include scriptures putting God and His power at the centre of them. We can strip away the leaven & chaff with the discernment of God's Spirit, the Spirit of Truth. He said He would guide us into all truth. Just like a prospector. There's gold in them there hills.
16 Steps Modified with Scriptures:
http://www.christianrecovery.com/vb/showthread.php?t=7160&highlight=steps
bpico
02-01-2008, 11:35 AM
First of all my heart goes out to all those struggling with all kinds of addictions. Especially Christians who then somehow try and fit spirituality and their own energy together to find a way out. I firmly believe that everything we need is to be found in Christ. It is interesting the comments about the 16 steps being "new age" implying of course the 12 steps are not. Does this sound Christian or new age? From the Big Book:
Lack of power was our dilemma. P45
Our own conception, however inadequate p46
Realm of the Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive… p46
We speak to you of God, we mean your own conception of God….At the start, this is all we needed to commence spiritual growth, to effect our first conscious relation with God as we understand him. P47
Power greater then myself p47
Wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built. P47
Spirit of the Universe p52
Where in this is the person of Jesus and the price he paid for our sin in this? Is this really the starting point of a relationship with him? Or can we do that on our own by following a series of steps?
First of all my heart goes out to all those struggling with all kinds of addictions. Especially Christians who then somehow try and fit spirituality and their own energy together to find a way out. I firmly believe that everything we need is to be found in Christ. It is interesting the comments about the 16 steps being "new age" implying of course the 12 steps are not. Does this sound Christian or new age? From the Big Book:
Lack of power was our dilemma. P45
Our own conception, however inadequate p46
Realm of the Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive… p46
We speak to you of God, we mean your own conception of God….At the start, this is all we needed to commence spiritual growth, to effect our first conscious relation with God as we understand him. P47
Power greater then myself p47
Wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built. P47
Spirit of the Universe p52
Where in this is the person of Jesus and the price he paid for our sin in this? Is this really the starting point of a relationship with him? Or can we do that on our own by following a series of steps?
This is a criticism of the 12 Steps which crops up from time to time. I found the following articles on this web site particularly helpful in coming to terms with this as it applied to my own recovery.
Make of this what you will.
http://www.nacronline.com/dox/library/daler/toochristian.shtml
http://www.nacronline.com/dox/library/daler/resistan.shtml
http://www.nacronline.com/dox/library/daler/zardoz.shtml
Willow
02-01-2008, 05:39 PM
First of all my heart goes out to all those struggling with all kinds of addictions. Especially Christians who then somehow try and fit spirituality and their own energy together to find a way out. I firmly believe that everything we need is to be found in Christ. It is interesting the comments about the 16 steps being "new age" implying of course the 12 steps are not. Does this sound Christian or new age? From the Big Book:
Lack of power was our dilemma. P45
Our own conception, however inadequate p46
Realm of the Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive… p46
We speak to you of God, we mean your own conception of God….At the start, this is all we needed to commence spiritual growth, to effect our first conscious relation with God as we understand him. P47
Power greater then myself p47
Wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built. P47
Spirit of the Universe p52
Where in this is the person of Jesus and the price he paid for our sin in this? Is this really the starting point of a relationship with him? Or can we do that on our own by following a series of steps?
I think the new ageyness sound of the 16 step program may revolve around it's focus on empowering women. The 12 steps were written in a time that not much power was given to women and thus the 16 steps has some wording that reacts to the subservient role of women in the Big Book.
The Big Book, on the other hand, is very nebulous about who God is... allowing each person to form their own opinions of god and let god work in their lives privately. From what I can see... it works for a lot of people. Some come in atheists and become convinced there is a God. That's a step forward in my opinion. Others... like me... come into the program fully convinced there is a God and he is going to kick their ass. It's been beneficial for me to find a different concept of God. Not less biblical... but less focused on judgement and more grace giving.
I'm very early in working the 12 steps. I only have 3 months in the program. So... take it with a grain of salt.
This is a criticism of the 12 Steps which crops up from time to time. I found the following articles on this web site particularly helpful in coming to terms with this as it applied to my own recovery.
Make of this what you will.
http://www.nacronline.com/dox/library/daler/toochristian.shtml
http://www.nacronline.com/dox/library/daler/resistan.shtml
http://www.nacronline.com/dox/library/daler/zardoz.shtml
Just got back from my Winter vacation.
Thanks a lot for this Tim.
I like this quote: "There is nothing magical about words on paper. It is DOING the things that people DO when they DO the twelve steps that is so powerful. What people actually DO in recovery is to practice spiritual disciplines like confession, surrender, testimony and making amends. That's what people DO in recovery. If you can create groups where these disciplines are actually practiced, I believe God will respond in powerful ways."
That's why I like the 16 Step for those who were SpAbused. As Amy AKA Willow said. "I think the new ageyness sound of the 16 step program may revolve around it's focus on empowering women. The 12 steps were written in a time that not much power was given to women and thus the 16 steps has some wording that reacts to the subservient role of women in the Big Book."
Whether for women or not as newagy as they may sound...what's important is the empowering part for many of us. I believe the 16 Steps represent Godly principles.
Willow
02-25-2008, 11:17 AM
Welcome Home Reg :)
psalm55
02-25-2008, 12:56 PM
I think if people in and out of the church used honesty and truth rather than manipulation and deception as guidelines for helping others, more people would recover and heal and grow.
If you crush someone every time they reach out or show growth because it does not fit your 'program' then who is at fault, the person growing or the person crushing?
broken_hearted_sheep
02-26-2008, 07:22 PM
I agree with you psalm55. People just need to be real. I have found people (leaders) try to change people's habits instead of trusting God to do it.
Case and point:
I have watched many drug addicts come in and out of our church.
Leadership prays over them and the whole casting out demons, spitting, slobbering tongues etc, etc. The person comes to church two maybe three weeks after and then disappears.
If the person has a set back, they get their head bashed in from the pulpit instead of loving them where they are at. Loving doesn't mean accepting or condoning what they did, but it also means not to condemn them either. I am sure they feel enough shame already.:( But thanks to most cannibals, oops I mean church folks, you can be completely demoralized all in the name of Jesus.:(
The problem with every program we (mankind) set up is that we do it, so we expect results to our liking, in our timing and when we say so.
Hurt people struggle because they are blocked from getting to Jesus by religious folks with these silly and self imposed titles. The rules and regulations and sometimes Hollywood productions called Service get in the way of someone getting to the ONLY ONE who can help them.
If people really just preached Jesus, really just trusted Jesus and really just loved people like Jesus does, eventually people would change.
Man, I see why Jesus lost his temper with the religious leaders. Sometimes I just want to smack some of these leaders, kind of like a 1970s pimp. :D
Willow
02-27-2008, 10:09 AM
If people really just preached Jesus, really just trusted Jesus and really just loved people like Jesus does, eventually people would change.
Realizing this simple truth really took a lot of pressure off me. I thought I had to save the world and people's behavior was my responsibility. That's wayyyy too much pressure.
Bringing this up again.
Does anyone have any comments pro or con re the 12 Steps?
riverdove
05-12-2012, 12:43 PM
Thanks, Reg, for bring this thread up and for inviting comments to it.
Here's my take on the 12-step based on my own personal experience .. I do understand there are some who might be concerned with the 12 steps ... not being biblical. As far as I'm concerned, I think the step recovery is a tool for helping people untangle the mess in their head, so they can think better. So, what does it mean for a believer? I think when a person is a born again believer, the step recovery is only a means, or a tool if one refers to call it .. to help them think clearer and by doing so, they can apply biblical truth to their recovery as they get better along the process. Especially for those who have been SAed .... the teachings in the Bible have been so twisted, that just loading them down with more Bible verses will only cut their wounds deeper. This can be likened as in the use of antibiotics. They can heal when they're prescribed in an appropriate amount and on the right occasion, but it would be detrimental or even fatal to the health or life of the individual when it has been over prescribed with the drug. People who who have been through an abusive and dysfunctional system have been badly messed up. They need human empathy to help them navigate around the issues of life such as learning the basic skills and acquiring the necessary tools of recovery so they can think and act reasonably and logically again.
The 12 steps recovery offers help in restoring the human dignity ... , so the way I see it, it is humane ... and it is a genuine way of helping those who have suffered. To further exemplify what I mean, the good Samaritan did not just stop and preach to the traveller who was robbed and beaten. He did not just say ... trust God, believe and get well. He offered the compassion plus the practical help ... dressed up his wounds, took him to an inn and then paid for his meals and his lodging. I see the examples in the life of Christ also ... The way He gently approached the woman caught in adultery. He did not just confront her with the "truth." His first response was to protect her safety and to keep her from being shamed by the perscuting crowd. His highest concern was for her interest and her well being first of all ... On that day, I can imagine the woman being deeply moved by His genuinness ... so her heart was prepared to hear the truth from him. By no means did Jesus compromise the life lesson He was about to teach ... He asked her this question in John 8:10-11 .....
“Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?
“No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
Bottom line, to me the 12 step recovery is simply a compassionate way of reaching out to those who are struggling and hurting ... For those who have their faith deeply implanted in Christ, there's little possibility for them to depart from their faith simply because they join the 12 steps recovery program. I truly appreciate the fact that in most of the meetings I've been to, they're ended with the Lord's Prayer. This is comforting and as good as it can be for me as a believer ... . As to the question how one interprets the meaning of "Higher Being," it's again a personal call. I think the inclusiveness of the 12-steps gives the option to every one in general who needs help. By so doing, no one is being ostracized from participating .... I don't think one should try to look at the 12-step as some program having a purely Christian agenda ... even though they were started by some believers with some faith mission in the past ... To simply state, the mission of the 12 step recovery, therefore, simply isn't about saving the lost. Now, I would clearly be offended, if in the 12-step recovery meetings, I find people start chanting the faith of other religions ... There's no such practice I've observed so far ... Each person is permtted to interpret their own meaning of "Higher power." Oddly enough, I've met many who are of the Christian faith ... and they are a whole lot more accommodating and compassionate. I haven't come across any weird religious fanatics as yet ... perhaps I've not been there long enough to comment ... In any case, just to give another exemplication here: Like any hospital ... believers or non believers alike go there when they're sick. No one will say, a hospital is only meant for those who don't have little faith and do not trust God enough .... In fact, many believers are attended by physicians of different faith and all walks of life.
I understand that everybody has different experience with the 12-step. As for me, I was at the end of the rope .... ostracized, cast out and left out in the cold all by myself ... from being SAed and having to deal with a toxic and dysfunctional famly at the same time. Being SAed is a complex thing ... When I first stepped into an AA meeting, I wept for the first time ... the human touch that was present and their ability to identify with my pain ... even though they may not know exactly what hurt. When I stepped into a CR meeting, I was triggered big time ... I had to leave the meetings. There was simply too strong of the religious connotations of the "old days." It didn't work for me.
I do appreciate the 16-step with Scripture verses, but I would say before one plunges into the 16-step, when they're fresh and raw from religious abuse, they ought to consider the 12-step first ... again speaking only from my own personal experience. I accept and appreciate that there are others who think differently and that everybody's journey to recovery is different, so, do take care of yourself and take what works and leave the rest ...
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