Big Step...Scary Step

[beginagainrose]

Well, ya'll... just wanted some feedback on this one... You recall I told you we found a new church that just started in our small community about a year ago... we love the "non-traditional" - almost "coffeehouse" feel of the place; meeting in an old grocery store building? We attended a couple of bible studies at the pastor's house. (He said dont call me pastor - Im just Don) Well, hubby went to Bible study by himself Thurs. nite, (I was preparing myself for EX's funeral)..and he offered to have the group's Christmas party at our home (now that we are NOT having to move;) :D ) He is going out with a friend to cut a fresh Christmas tree (here in Northern California, you just drive down the road to the forest and pay $10 for ANY tree!) and we are going to spend the afternoon and evening tomarrow decorating our house! I told hubby today this was the first time life has felt "normal" in almost 10 years since the nightmare began. I even put on the CD of our olf church choir's Christmas musical (where the snare for him was first set) because I can hear his beautiful bass voice singing...still a faithful husband then. I explained to my hubby I was not doing it to make him feel bad but explained it is actually a comforting thing now. (taking back what the devil tried to steal...???) We have Handel's Messiah playing each morning. There are still a few Canadian geese out by the beautiful pond just beyond our back yard and fresh snow is covering Mt. Shasta (14,000Ft) just a "stone's throw away (ok...a volcanic stone's throw away:D ) with the crisp blue-est sky blue (NO polution) mornings frosting the ground at a chilly 20 something degrees... and suddenly... life is good... and almost scary. I said yes to the party and am actually excited to get to know these people... oh, forgot to tell you, hubby blurted out big chunks of our "nightmare story" the first night at Bible study after we had agreed not to. (I've done it before at other churches in years past - darn self protection is SUCH a hard habit to break)...guess it was his turn. Soooo... if it is going to turn sour like the other 20+ attempts to start fresh...this would be the time. I am catching myself holding my breath even as I type this!:eek: .... your thoughts?:o

[exwitchoz]

A big scarey step indeed :eek: ... but one that I'm praying for you about already...

For what it is worth...

I dunno bugger all about what's involved in starting up a church in the US except that its prolly a bit different from the situation here in Oz...

That said...

Altho' there's no shortage of BIG churches with congregations big enuff to fill a sports ground (I avoid them like the plague myself)... it is not at all unusual here for a new Church here to start off in a pretty informal manner and feel... often in an old theater, rented hall or coffee shop or whatever until they get a building of their own... some never get one and retain that informal feel...

...and at the church I go to (only about 100 ppl - tops!!!) the pastor is just 'Gary' and the youth pastor is known as 'Bus' - a nickname he's had since school apparently (I only found out his real name was 'Andrew' a few months ago and I've been going there for ages now LOL)... I only say 'the pastor' if talking to someone who doesn't go there so they know who the heck I'm talking about LOL!!! :)

It really sounds pretty good to me... :D

...and the big night...

...the locale sounds LOVELY :) ... I will certainly be praying (and have been already) that it all goes off really well and that you can build some good friendships as a result of the big night...:)

Have Fun... :)

[Anna Marta]

Dear Rosa,

Answered prayers and joyful begin-agains for our Rose...

God bless you and hubby

Love
Anna Marta

[beginagainrose]

I am so disappointed... I guess mostly in me... I stayed home from church this morning...so overwhelmed with events this week... guess the "scary" won.:( :o :confused:

[Anna Marta]

Rose,

No! The scary did not win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You were able to use some good old fashioned common sense and allow your heart to catch up with your head or vice versa... Go easy on yourself. You can only take so much at one time.

Looking for you on Yahoo.
Anna Marta

[Willow]

I am so disappointed... I guess mostly in me... I stayed home from church this morning...so overwhelmed with events this week... guess the "scary" won.:( :o :confused:

Dear Rose, I'm glad you took care of yourself! Our insides know when to sit out. You did well. You have to prepare emotionally as well as physically for the big party. You will have more energy and be more relaxed for the party if you take care of your needs.

Consequentially... I am detecting a very healthy, calm, positive note in your writings. I hope this church works out for you and hubby!

[exwitchoz]

Ditto to what Amy and Anna said...

Sometimes (to coin a phrase) discretion is indeed the better part of valour... and you DO need to allow yourself space for the head and the heart to come into line with each other after such a major shake up...

There is no shame in that... in fact there is healing and growth to be found in it IMHO...

(((HUGS))) and Peace to you...

[Voyager]

I hope your party goes well Rose. Please don't beat yourself up if you miss a church meeting here and there. God knows that your heart wants to please Him, and that's all that matters. All of your guilt and shame was dealt with at the cross of Calvary.

:cool:

[Jerry]

I am catching myself holding my breath even as I type this!:eek: .... your thoughts?:o

Dear Rose,,,,
Don't project the past into your future,,,,,,,,,,,,,and breath ;)
Love Jerry

[Carmen]

(((Rose))), Just one step at a time - only as fast as you are able. No one could argue with that. :) Wishing you and Hubby all the best.