My sis:

[hornblower]

My heart is sort of heavy today. I know this isnt church abuse but is it ok to talk about this and maybe get a little feed back. Its not going to go away I just know it isnt its one of those things I think.
My neice is coming here for christmas, definitely not a born again believer this little pretty lady ok? However she did come over to me as my brother her dad was dying and tell me she was talking to God! Wow! Like what??????????
Her mother doesnt believe in being able to do this I guess and why would she since what she believes in is that 'she' is god! Im very serious, this is the root of the rift in my family and always has been.
Its like world war three.
Most, or maybe I should say the ones around me anyway, Christians sort of cease to care about their own families when they become born again. I dont know whats right to do all I know is that didnt happen to me, I cared even more.
Ok. I went ahead and told my neice what is happening with my sister and myself since she is coming here and theres no place for them to stay. Now of course i sort of am wondering if theres going to be the other shoe dropping?
My niece told me that thanksgiving day her cousin, my sisters daughter went home to her mothers house here in texas, they all now live in ashville nc, and asked if my neice and her boyfriend could come stay with them over christmas holidays. My sister burst into tears started crying, yelling, beyond angry, and said she couldn't deal with any more crap!
Meaning me im sure. We are not seeing each other and not talking at all.
Im worried about my sister.
She is believing things that are not true. Shes twisting things Ive said and the last thing she said to me was that Im insne and I dont know what Im saying dont remember what Ive said. Its not true I do remember it may take me awhile after all she is the attacker Im remembering over months ago when she starts in on me.
I wish I could be close to other members in our family but they dont believe in christianity and its hard and im scared too.
They most of them are very antiwar and anti a lot of things. I dont hate Bush Im sorry but I dont because personaly I dont hang around people like presidents so I dont think I should hate them either when I dont even know them at all.
I dont know what to do about the war but how much you want to bet I dont have a lot of say so over it anyway?
I hope you guys can bear with me on this one and help me a little bit. If not Ill post on the other forum maybe someone can say something to help me through the night so to speak. I know a lot of people will think whats the big deal its just a sister so either make up or leave it right?
I wish it was that simple. She like accusing me of my whole life????????
I simply dont know what to do and its eating me up inside big time. In fact I think Ive got an ulcer already.
I keep asking God to change me. Im still here same old same old. ????????:( :confused:

[secrethopes]

I'm sorry you must face this. Family is the most difficult to deal with because they know our pasts, they know our weaknesses and faults, and they know what buttons to push. I believe this might be why some Christians might behave as if they do not care about family.

This really is a difficult task. And it can seem like we're never moving forward and maybe at times, we are not. Prayer really is the best answer. Ask God to open her eyes and ears, as well as asking Him to change you. You might even have to define new boundaries since many families are fine with outside boundaries but walk all over ones within. And give yourself a hug. It's just plain hard.

[mary]

Dear Hornblower,

I've got similar "stuff" going on... And it hurts terribly.

You can't change what's going on with your sister. All you can do is pray for her, offer her a "word in season" if there's ever an opportunity to do so, and "speak the truth in love." God will do the rest. You can pray for everyone else in your family, too, obviously.

You can't help what she says to other family members; you can't help how she twists your good intentions into "something else." The Lord will take care of that, too.

Secrethopes, you're absolutely right... Families do know your weaknesses and those members who are not also Christians will be especially disparaging and hurtful. The Lord did not give us Matthew 10:34-36 for no reason, did He? He knew what we were going to face from our families - and He also knew that He was going to bring us through it.

Yep - give yourself that hug that Secrethopes mentioned... :)

In the love of our precious Lord and Savior,

mary

[Anna Marta]

HB,

Sadly, there are no easy answers are there? Hopefully it will be enough to get you through the night to know that there are a lot people who do care and who are praying for you. Pain is something all of us are well acquainted with and so we try to help to bear each other's burdens and cry each other's tears. We also like to be able to laugh with each other too.

So where ever you are this night, know that you are not alone.

Love :)
Anna Marta

[Jo Jo]

Oh, Hornblower, my heart goes out to you. I know how much this hurts and worries you. Yes, like the others have said, you are not alone. My prayers and thoughts are with you. Double hugs for you - (((((Hornblower)))))

[Carmen]

(((Hornblower))),

I hope things go peacefully for you this Christmas. I can relate, must go to the in-laws this Christmas, with forebodings. I agree with secrethopes, a lot of people treat outsiders civilly and politely enough, but then behave rudely and ruthlessly toward family. It just isn't right or fair.

[hornblower]

More anxiety tonight as my daughter has just let me know that after thanksgiving she got so worked up in her mind after she got hom that she called my sister and left a message on her machine. The message was.........."did you know that your husband thinks everything is ok between you and my Mom?" She doesnt remember the rest of what she said very clearly. I wanted to find a hole and fall right in and pull it on top of me. My son told us this message from my sisters husband Im sure in confidence! No telling what happened?
My husband nearly had a cow.
This can reflect very badly on my son. He has the power over the estate. I gave it to him. I didnt think I could take the fights that would be forthcoming and guess what? I cant! They are coming anyway.
I read something in the Bold Love book Ive been struggling with that really hit home for me. A woman gets hurt by her pastor because she has several trials with church things and she goes to him thinking 'Im sure he will be compassionate to me.............?' Yeah right! Been there seen that number done many times.
Anyway the pastor tells her to forgive and go on and she should love no matter what..........this is after a christian minister had swiped her husbands and her savings??????????
What was so interesting to me in the book is that Allender says it has just enough truth in his statements to her to really enter into her heart and wound her.........she doesnt get over the entire thing. She begins having problems with God after this happening it hit her so hard.

What an interesting thing? "It had just enough truth in it to wound her in her heart."
This is the way this thing is with my sister. She is right but she isnt. Its true but not all of it, there is more than that..........but whos listening to me anyway? Nobody! They've made up their minds Im guilty...........of something in their minds.

Ok this is exactly the church abuse all over again. If my son finds this whole thing out he will hate me with a passion. My daughter........my sweet innocent trying to help me poor daughter didnt have a clue what she was doing. In truth it really doesnt bother me in fact its kind of funny to me. My sisters husband is going to be in plenty of hot water with my sister Im sure! Poor guy wont know what hit him?

Ah here comes the rain now its all soft and colder than ice out there! I love it right now all quiet in the house and Im here with you guys. Ive worked so hard today since my 'd' came home. She's always such a mess, bless her little tooshiness. I cooked a good meal for them and cleaned and washed and made her tons of jewelry, made up her face, did her hair.

I wish all of you could have seen her when she was little. She looked just like an angel, long blond hair and a sweeter than sweet pretty smile. Big blue eyes that shine so bright. Her hair always smelled so good. I remember reading to her the kitty book and the ship something? She had it completely memorised. I thought she had taught herself how to read because she was barely three years old and she could word for word and page by page recite that little book prefectly.

She loves me.
My daughter with all of my tremendous failure towards her loves me to pieces and wants to take up for me with my sister. I know what my sister will be saying and thinking............I really couldnt care less about any of it bring it on!
God keeps my children for me, what am I worried about?
All I have ever wanted my entire life was a family that loves each other.
Its raining again..........beginagain has her house still, YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!they are asleep Ill bet in their house that is such a wonderful thing, like everybody here is, even my little pooches. Christmas is coming I can feel it right now with the tree lights in the living room...........so quiet.
I love y'all..................:o will you be my family?

[Voyager]

All I have ever wanted my entire life was a family that loves each other.
Me too. The biggest hurdle for me was learning how to love my family unconditionally. Many of us come from dysfunctional familes, and it's hard to try to make a dysfunctional family functional. Actually, it's nearly impossible. But, unconditional love and acceptance can go a long way to make this happen.

May God give you the grace to deal with this situation.

:cool:

[Jerry]

I love y'all..................:o will you be my family?

To the degree that "Cyber Space" allows,,,,,,,,,,,we are ;)
Love Jerry

[exwitchoz]

Jerry just said it all...

(((HUGS))) and Peace... ;)

[Willow]

One thing really cool is... even though you can't choose your family... you can choose your friends!