Where I am

[Anna Marta]

Dear Friends,

I am having a difficult time dealing with this week on the forum. I have to be honest and tell you all that the raw anger released here and some of the statements have frightened me.

I have welcomed finding a safe place to speak what is in my heart and hopefully sometimes to be able to share a bit of wisdom gleaned from dealing with suffering in past.

I have read the basic rules and the the civility threads and have not seen that I am supposed to have been part of a 12 step program to become a member of this forum. I am not and have never been in a 12 step recovery program. I do not know the rules of those programs and didn't know I was expected to follow them here. It is my understanding that if we do not want a comment to come back to us then we are to post that thought, idea or sharing on the No Crosstalk Forum.

It is very important for me that we try to follow the rules. I don't want to have be afraid that I will be attacked if I express myself, however clumsily. It is possible to set each other straight gently and lovingly. It is my experience that the members here are people of good will who mean well for each other.

I grew up in a home and was married to a man (the 1st time) where there were anger problems and rage was poured out over me in liberal quantities. This week has deeply affected me. I am shaking again as I write this.

I respectfully request that if anyone becomes angry with me for something I write that they PM me. That way we can work things out and seek reconciliation without public exposure.

I would never deliberately hurt anyone. I am committed to speak the truth in love and would hope the same will come to me in return. I am trying my best to grow as I heal and need your support and wisdom as well as your compassion. I respect that we are all in a healing process. I would be thankful if we could keep foremost in our minds that wounded people have the capacity to seriously wound others.

Love,
Anna Marta

[Voyager]

I am sorry if any of my anger or statements frightened you. I have a tendency to get upset when people use shame on me. Sometimes I just try to ignore their statements, but other times I get right back up in their face. My anger comes from many years of being shamed and humiliated in a performance-based religious setting where the value of adherence to doctrine was placed over the worth of a fellow human being. When someone overlooks my pain and suffering and tells me that my religious beliefs are inferior to theirs, it still angers me. I will try to use a little more tact when addressing this in the future. I am sorry if my anger scared anyone.

:(

[Willow]

((((((((((((((((((ANNA & VOYAGER)))))))))))))))))))

Hey... I think I see some really good communication skills happening here!!!!

[Jo Jo]

Thank you :)

[beginagainrose]

Well said, dear friend, well said.

[DiligentLily]

That is good of you to apologize, Voyager. I have felt both yours and Clementine's pain in this situation, and everybody's really. But we are truly brothers and sisters in Christ and I commend both of you for your apologies and Anna Marta for suggesting a solution to such dilemmas and I commend absolutely everybody on this forum for all the love and support and bearing with one-another that I have seen since joining. You are all very good people, and I thank God for introducing me to you all.

[jimsmuse]

I am sorry if any of my anger or statements frightened you. I have a tendency to get upset when people use shame on me. Sometimes I just try to ignore their statements, but other times I get right back up in their face. My anger comes from many years of being shamed and humiliated in a performance-based religious setting where the value of adherence to doctrine was placed over the worth of a fellow human being. When someone overlooks my pain and suffering and tells me that my religious beliefs are inferior to theirs, it still angers me. I will try to use a little more tact when addressing this in the future. I am sorry if my anger scared anyone.

:(




You know dear one, that's where we have all been..........