my online journal

[ln2006]

During the time I was being spiritually abused by my church following a clergy abuse situation, a group of peers in my line of work put up a site with my name to mock me, with a picture of Satan on it. They finally released that domain name and my husband and I had a buy request on it. We got it, because they released it after a kind governmental employee here in Indiana got involved and demanded they take the site down.

I have the site with my name - so I decided to make a meditational site of it. I am writing slide shows, poetry and music that I wrote when I was being ignored by my church. I wish to share it because I know how much this hurt me and I hope anything I have posted there, may help you in your healing.
www.lilliannewman.com

I am grateful to the person who put up spiritualabuse.com because it is one of the most loving things they could have ever done for God, to create a place where hurting people could talk about their pain at the hands and hearts of human beings who tried to block the light from God to them. If we are indeed handiworks of God's heart, it is never right to abuse anyone in the name of faith.

I left the Roman Catholic Church 3 days ago, and am attending protestant services tomorrow. I do not know where God calls me, but I look for a place that is for real, authentic and I hope I have found it, so that I can finally begin to heal. It has been a long 5 years of silent treatment and then evasive communication, and some downright ugliness. They don't speak for God. I know God is love!

Lillian

[SpinningHead]

Wow. That's just beautiful! :)

[Jerry]

Dear Lillian,,,,
Your Website is a keeper,it's now in my favroites :D
Love Jerry

[Willow]

Lillian... your writings are beautiful! I read the tightrope story and plan to go back and read more. Thank you for your sensitivity and inspiration in this situation. I'm so glad you have the URL with your name on it! Those people could have been arrested for blackmail!

[Jo Jo]

I can't believe what your peers did to you on that site. :eek: :mad: Well, by now I guess I can. That is just evil.

I love your website. Your little movies were just beautiful... I loved them! Wow!

[ex-shep]

Sounds like your recovery is off to a great start. Good for you. Great to hear of the glad tidings. Keep up the good work. You deserve it. Rooting for you. :)

[ln2006]

You are all wonderful and I wish you could be here this morning to hold my hand to into my new church. I want you to know that I think it's the neatest people who get hurt. During the silence, few reached out to me, offline or online and look at all of you. You are God's beloved ones, because you love so much! Don't ever let anyone take this from you.

You are ***neat***. Don't ever, ever forget that. I love you for the love you give to hurting people like me, even though you are also hurt. That is a gift! Don't ever, ever doubt the beauty inside of you!


Lillian

[Carmen]

Hi In2006,

An uncle of mine was abused as an altarboy, years ago. I don't know if he ever recovered from that. The family didn't know for a long time. I think he was afraid of being made responsible for it, like many victims are, like they tried to do to you. I changed churches too, about 25 years ago. All the best in your search for truth and recovery.

[abbey]

Boy, I viewed worthy and just about cryed! I have "worth" issues myself. Ive been abused ( and still am by my husband) my dad and the so called body of Christ. (well, a tiny part of it.) :)

Your work is beautiful and inspiring. I hope one day, I feel worthy of Gods love too.

Im sure expressing yourself creatively has been a healing of sorts, no? keep up the work, its worthy. :)