What's Our Part?

[renee nelson]

I would like to pose this a question for reflection or comment:
How have I contributed to the spiritual abuse of myself/others?:confused: :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:

[renee nelson]

When I was a new believer I taught Sunday school and I told the kid's that they had dominion over animals. I told them that if a dog was attacking them and they said: "Down in the name of Jesus" the dog would have to obey them. Since that time I have personally been bitten 3 times by dogs.

I have sought an emotional experience with God like a addict craves a drug. Instead of just just being thankful for those times when God's presence is so real to me, I went after the experience/feeling rather than the relationship. This caused a crash like withdrawl from a drug. This crash happened a lot after retreats. I'm sure my family suffered from my roller coaster moods.

And the real biggy is when I fell into idolatry. I really looked to pastor's/athority figures to meet my desperate need for a loving father/mother figure. I know now why God told us to love Him with all our heart, mind, soul and strength, He knows when we displace our affections/worship to a pastor/person the results are tragic.

[butterfly]

Welcome Renee,

Well I contributed to my S A by going to church with all my guard down.

I was abused by family till I was 20 years old. So I always was carefull with the people I would open up to.

I was a good judge in who I could trust.

I thought going to church was going to be the family I never had. I would be loved and accepted as I am.

I was:D :D at first then:( :( :( the abuse started.

I was not going by "The Fundy Way" in dress worship ect.

So I became the outcast who did"t love God enough cause I didn"t follow the rules.

Then my depression came, anexity , and memories of childhood abuse.

I was someone to stay away from mental illness.:( :( :( :(

I tryed other churches they were just as bad.

I shouldn"t of gone in with that guard down. But why not I was just saved the Lord loved me and where else in this whole world would I have not been accepted?

The bad part of S A is I didn"t know the rules. When I found out what they were it was to late. butterfly shirley

[Jerry]

When I was a new believer I taught Sunday school and I told the kid's that they had dominion over animals. I told them that if a dog was attacking them and they said: "Down in the name of Jesus" the dog would have to obey them. Since that time I have personally been bitten 3 times by dogs.



Dear Renee,,,,
Yes your correct,,,,,We were placed higher on the food chain than dogs.........The biggest problem I see with the doctrine is,,,,,,,,,,,Dogs can't read :D
Love Jerry ;)

[renee nelson]

[QUOTE=butterfly;

I shouldn"t of gone in with that guard down. But why not I was just saved the Lord loved me and where else in this whole world would I have not been accepted? /QUOTE]

Dear butterfly
Did you mean to put the not in that sentace? That church you were in sounds so horrible. I am so thankful you got out. Do you suppose Jesus dressed in the Fundy way?

[renee nelson]

Dear Renee,,,,
Yes your correct,,,,,We were placed higher on the food chain than dogs.........The biggest problem I see with the doctrine is,,,,,,,,,,,Dogs can't read :D
Love Jerry ;)

Funny Jerry LOL LOL LOL
:) :) :) :)
It's a shame they can't read the last dog attack I suffered was pretty bad!!!!!!

[SpinningHead]

In my case I learned a valuable lesson...

When people tell you or show you who they are...believe them!

When we were going through our experience, my hubby & I continued to give them the benefit of the doubt, "but they're Christians! and Christians don't treat people this way!". We lived a bit too long in the land of denial. :( When we saw them treat others shamefully, we thought, "wow, that person must have had that coming" or "I wonder what that person did to deserve such correction". Now we know...nothing. :( We believed that they believed what was being preached on Sundays....about money, about Christians doing business, about how we treat one another....we learned that they did believe Sunday's sermon...on Sunday!! Mon-Sat it was completely opposite...and it was so difficult to believe our "brothers & sisters" would behave that way to us & others. They always had on a game face when they were confronted...always had the Christianese down. :(

So it's worth saying again...

When people tell you or show you who they are...believe them!

PS...I was taught that "dominion" mean controlling and exploitation if I so chose to...now I know it means to love and care for.

[butterfly]

[QUOTE=butterfly;

I shouldn"t of gone in with that guard down. But why not I was just saved the Lord loved me and where else in this whole world would I have not been accepted? /QUOTE]

Dear butterfly
Did you mean to put the not in that sentace? That church you were in sounds so horrible. I am so thankful you got out. Do you suppose Jesus dressed in the Fundy way?

I don"t think Jesus did anything that was Fundy!!

For the "not" I see I should of used that word. When my fingers start flying over the key board about S A I am lucky that I make since at all!!:D :D

With me you get what ever I write nothing more nothing less.
butterfly shirley

[renee nelson]

[QUOTE=SpinningHead;
When people tell you or show you who they are...believe them!

GOD ADVISE!!!! Thank you dear Spinning Head. I suppose that wishful thinking/denial has deep family of origin roots.

PS...I was taught that "dominion" mean controlling and exploitation if I so chose to...now I know it means to love and care for.[/QUOTE]

I wish I would have known that. I think I chose to teach Sunday School to please the pastor... I certainly did not have a lot of biblical wisdom or knowledge to share with the kid's. I had only been a Christian about 5 months.

[renee nelson]

OOPS I meant GOOD advise.

[Doug64]

I can think of two things right off.

Looking down on 'unconverted' family (those not believing the way we did);

Looking down on other churches being "sincere but mislead" because they didn't 'understand' certain things as we did.

Doug

[Clynn]

I agree with Doug. I was very ugly and self-righteous.
WE were the one who were RIGHT and NO OTHER CHURCHES recieved the "word of God" like we did and surley NO ONE ELSE understood "praise and worship" the way WE did because WE had a "special anointing" and WE were the "cutting edge" and the "prototype" for praise and worship in the "earth."

I like to talk about the part I played because I take the personal stance that as a believer in Christ, I have a responsibility.

1. Because of my low self-worth, I wanted to be liked and accepted.
2. I began to idolize those in leadership.
3. I listened to their voice and obeyed them more than I obeyed the voice of the "Good Shephard."
4. I was seeking position.
(to name a few)

When my eyes were opened to the idolatry in my own heart, I repented before the Lord and began to renew a true relationship with Him.
That's when I truly began to recognize the control and abuse.
I believe that Christ came to give us life and that more abundantly.
NEVER AGAIN will I live beneath what He has for me!
Love to All
Because of the Cross,
C. Lynn

[Jo Jo]

Clynn wrote:
WE were the one who were RIGHT and NO OTHER CHURCHES recieved the "word of God" like we did and surley NO ONE ELSE understood "praise and worship" the way WE did because WE had a "special anointing" and WE were the "cutting edge" and the "prototype" for praise and worship in the "earth."

Hey! I didn't know you guys went to my church... I never saw you there... but it had to be the same church. :rolleyes: ;) :D

[Jerry]

I certainly did not have a lot of biblical wisdom or knowledge to share with the kid's.

Dear Renee,,,,
Thats Ok sweetie,,,,,,,,,,,,,,neither did the "Pastor" ;)
Love Jerry

[renee nelson]

Dear Renee,,,,
Thats Ok sweetie,,,,,,,,,,,,,,neither did the "Pastor" ;)
Love Jerry

Thank you Honey-pie:o

[Willow]

I will never forgive myself for isolating my parents.
I remember mom's statement very clearly as I was backing out of church. She said, "I feel like I have my daughter back again!"

Mom and Dad practically supported me in those 10 years I was in volunteer ministry. The church never offered a salary... and I constantly drained all my energies and finances for their work. When I hit hard times... mom and dad always came through. And I really took it for granted... I was thinking... I am doing God's work. God will take care of me. Really what was happening is I was refusing to grow up and mom and dad were still having to support me. YUCK :mad: I hate myself!

[dougjb]

The greatest regrets I have had are in the areas omissions. The failure to act or speak up when I should have. I believe that I could have saved a lot of people a lot of unnecessary grief if I would have done what I knew I should have been pro-active.

Dougjb

[DiligentLily]

I am deeply bothered by my part. A very very dear friend of mine, who was struggling with homosexuality, was a member of our abusive church with me for years. One of our abusers (before I was the victim) was a man who had evangelized my friend and was mentoring him and supposedly being a big brother to him. He couldn't keep his mouth shut and he gossipped about my friend's homosexual struggles to an elder at the church and then to some other people. The humiliation of that gossip and the pain of that betrayal and the knowledge that so many others in church knew of his shame haunted my friend for years (by the way, he was completely celebate). He was unable to get any kind of help or counsel for his problem and eventually he stopped coming to church, and when the session, in a very heavy-handed way, demanded my friend meet with them about his non-attendance, my friend freaked and refused to meet. He didn't trust them. So they excommunicated him and I didn't say a word in protest. I didn't contact my friend to show him I still loved him and I didn't take my friend's side against this abuse of authority. I just let him go. Now I can't find him and his phone is turned off. I feel so guilty.

[renee nelson]

I will never forgive myself for isolating my parents.


Hi Willow
Could you do me a favor? Just step back from your situation and pretend that a dear young friend of yours (Tabbitha) fell into the same situation you were in for 10 years and she made the same mistakes you made. Now ask yourself how would you feel about Tabbitha? Would you have complete and utter distain for her? What advise would you have for her?

[renee nelson]

[QUOTE=I didn't contact my friend to show him I still loved him and I didn't take my friend's side against this abuse of authority. I just let him go. Now I can't find him and his phone is turned off. I feel so guilty.[/QUOTE]

The scripture that comes to my mind is "Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed"

I'm praying and I trust He will fill your heart with a grace overflowing.
Love, Renee

[Jerry]

Yes we all have story's about our participation in abusive Church....We all repent of the blemishes on our souls......God rejoices at that repentance,,,,,,,,,,so take heart guys,God will square things up that we are not able to,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Matt 18 verses 6-11 underline verse 11,,,,,and pray for the abusive Pastors and Church Elders,,,,,their gonna need it ;)

Love Jerry

[DiligentLily]

The scripture that comes to my mind is "Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed"

I'm praying and I trust He will fill your heart with a grace overflowing.
Love, Renee

Thank you Renee!