I saw the pastor's wife...

[Jo Jo]

I was out with my husband last Friday... and we ran into the pastor's wife. It just seemed surreal. I always imagined how I would act, if it would freak me out, but it didn't. She was with her older parents and so she was very immobile. I would think it was harder for her, because of that. I don't know. Here I had all this stuff I should hate her for, and honestly when I saw her I just flashed right back to all the fun we had together. She was like my best friend for 6 years.

Anyway, I would have stopped and talked to her if there had been anymore encouragement on her part. I could have gone another way, but I turned and went right by her and her parents. I always liked her parents, too. They said "hi" and I said to all of them that it was good to see them out and about. I slowed way down, waiting for more of a chance for a longer visit... I'm such a goon. ha ha :rolleyes: She had her mom by the arm when her mom tried to turn and was like dragging her off.

Then my husband and I just talked a little how it was all such a shame, we did enjoy their company so much, back in the good times, before it got all so stupid, but we also had to take care of ourselves and not be in that unhealthy place anymore. It's just all such a freakin' waste when people throw away people in the name of God, and then it isn't even God at all, just their made up pride thing. It really turns me off.

Lately I have been going to church, but I've been choosing not to get involved in extra activities. We went to a bbs together we liked, but I have been doing other things and not getting majorly involved there. After all it never really worked so well. I don't fit in there very well - I'm not conventional... ANYWAY - I've decided to try to stay nicely to the outskirts for awhile where it's safer, maybe... I doubt it, but it will be interesting to try this experiment. It makes me feel very unhooked - like a little boat in the sea. It's quite odd.

That's all I had to say I guess... I saw my queen of the SA and I survived... quite nicely... with very little post traumatic about it. It's just all such a shame... too bad we couldn't have made up. But I bet I'm too addicted to her personality to be safe around her anyway. If I see anyone that dynamic again, I just run the other way. ;) :D

[renee nelson]

The pride thing really turns me off too. I'm glad it wasn't a real tramatic thing for you to see her. I certainly can relate to feeling sad for missing out on realationships because of the crap. Thank you for sharing:)

[Jo Jo]

Thanks renee... yeah, it all would have been so much better to just focused more on the love thing and not the "we're right and you're wrong thing". But they have a right to believe what they want to, I just feel bad for the people that are still there getting hurt, but most of them are adults and have the choice to leave or not.

My one friend that is still there, lives in the home with her son and that is where they meet for church. She could still leave, though, it would be a HUGE life change for her.

And now I have found out that the pastor and his wife's one child has been diagnosed as being clinically depressed... and couldn't keep up in school last year. That's certainly not fair to him... they don't have the choice to leave. There are still 6 kids that go there.

I don't know why they just don't give that place up and let it go. :confused: Instead of seeing the fruit and the truth of it, they call these things attacks of satan, and they fight bravely on while they ruin their own lives and the lives of those they say they love.

[DiligentLily]

Anyway, I would have stopped and talked to her if there had been anymore encouragement on her part. I could have gone another way, but I turned and went right by her and her parents. I always liked her parents, too. They said "hi" and I said to all of them that it was good to see them out and about. I slowed way down, waiting for more of a chance for a longer visit... I'm such a goon. ha ha :rolleyes: She had her mom by the arm when her mom tried to turn and was like dragging her off.

I ran into my abuse queen a few months back, while we were both picking up our kids from youth group. It was my step-daughter at our church, and the abuse queen's daughter was visiting there because she's still friends with my step-daughter. So I was on my home territory, and I knew ahead of time I would probably run into her (the thought of it kept me up all night the night before:o ). I got the opposite treatment from mine--she smiled real wide and fake and said, "Hi Lily!" I was floored. I wanted to say all these direct and confrontational things. Stupid me.

But I can't believe she pulled her mom away from your conversation with her! Oh, my. How's that for brotherly unity! :mad:

It's just all such a freakin' waste when people throw away people in the name of God, and then it isn't even God at all, just their made up pride thing.

Yes, I am so so sad about being thrown away like that. These people at my church were my only friends and I loved them and I helped them move, and paint their homes and I worked at their weddings and sat their kids, and they just threw me away. They never even wanted to meet my babies, let alone throw me a shower or send me a card even. I am so so sad.

[Jerry]

Dear Jo-Jo,,,
Just had to thank you for the laugh,,,,,,,,,,,I'll explain;As I was reading the thread headings I decided to "Click" on yours ,,,,,The internal dialog went something like this as I clicked,,,,,,,,,,,,,,"Cool,,,,lets see how the "Old Heifer's" doin ".................hope my sick mind gives you a chuckle :D
Love Jerry
P.S. Just thought of a funny line for the new James Bond Movie,,,,,,,,,; "My name is "Bond",,,,,,,,,,,,,James Bond,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and I am an Alcoholic !! " :D

[renee nelson]

[QUOTE=Jerry;
P.S. Just thought of a funny line for the new James Bond Movie,,,,,,,,,; "My name is "Bond",,,,,,,,,,,,,James Bond,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and I am an Alcoholic !! " :D[/QUOTE]

LOL LOL LOL
Or it could be "My name is Bond and I'm a sex addict".:)

[Jo Jo]

Jerry wrote:
Cool,,,,lets see how the "Old Heifer's" doin ".................hope my sick mind gives you a chuckle..... P.S. Just thought of a funny line for the new James Bond Movie,,,,,,,,,; "My name is "Bond",,,,,,,,,,,,,James Bond,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and I am an Alcoholic !!

HA! That's kind of how I felt when I saw her... and I didn't run... it's like there she is... ooooo let's go see how she's doin'... Let's go test the waters. :rolleyes: You're sick mind always gives me a chuckle. Sick minds think a-like. :D

Renee wrote:
Or it could be "My name is Bond and I'm a sex addict

Oh this is too good! There has to be more of these. :p

"My name is "Bond"......... James Bond........... and I'm a Narcissist."

[Jo Jo]

Diligentlily wrote:
...she's still friends with my step-daughter. So I was on my home territory, and I knew ahead of time I would probably run into her...

That would be so unbelievably hard to know you were going to run into her and to also be in close contact with them on a quazi-regular basis. That has to make it really stressful on you. eeeee I think I had it easier by it being a surprise... I know that I still sometimes go over what I would or could say to them, but I didn't get a chance to this time, it was so unexspected.

These people at my church were my only friends and I loved them and I helped them move, and paint their homes and I worked at their weddings and sat their kids, and they just threw me away. They never even wanted to meet my babies, let alone throw me a shower or send me a card even. I am so so sad.

It's hard to comprehend that something could come between those things. Why they wouldn't want to stay near and dear to you and those precious things. It makes trusting again super hard.

[clementine]

Fascinating to hear how many of us have had SA queens!
In our case there were others involved too but she led the parade...
I thought you were incredibly controlled and confident, Jo Jo!!!! How lovely that it was almost a non-event in terms of fall-out.
Some lady said to me in the midst of our mess, "Remember, the Enemy is the enemy, not the person."
Our enemies are under the attack of the Evil One as much as we are through their abuse of us. His sword cuts two ways...it hurts those who abuse and those who are abused.
Maybe that's why Jesus tells us to pray for our enemies...
Clementine