Voyager
11-14-2006, 12:05 PM
I'm going to be gone for about a month, and I didn't want anyone to think I was leaving the forum.
It's been eight years since I left my spiritually abusive church. Since I am self-employed, I have a luxury that many people don't have: I have been able to withdraw from society. This has not been a healthy thing for me. I used to be an outgoing person who thrived around people. Cutting myself off from people has been similar to cutting myself off from food.
I found a place in the mountains that I am going to stay at for 28 days. It is somewhat of a high-priced rehab. I quit drinking over three months ago, but I still have a lot of issues that are trying to drive me to abuse substances again. The place I am going to is rated in the top-10 best facilities of its kind in the world. I am lucky to be able to go there. It's going to cost a lot, but based on the state of mind I have been in, it will be worth every penny. This place is going to force me to get up in the mornings, get around people in groups, talk with therapists, go mountain hiking, do rope climbing, and all kinds of interaction with people that have faced similar addiction issues.
Today I was having cold feet, but my wife encouraged me to go. She has seen my slow descent from a fun-loving people-person to an isolated, angry, addicted victim. This was not a choice I made. It happened due to the spiritual abuse we suffered. However, I cannot live my life this way any longer. This is not who I am. I just need some outside help to become the person that I was again. God knows I have tried to do it on my own, but I can't. It's not healthy to close the door to the rest of mankind, but when we are hurting from wounds that the people we trusted inflicted upon us, that is exactly what we want to do.
I've got a new perception on life now. I believe that we all create negative or positive energy by the thoughts we think and the words we speak (which is a Biblical concept). Our focus can either be on what happened to us yesterday, or on the good that tomorrow will bring for us. However, when we get victimized, our natural tendency is to live in the past - and this is what makes us get "stuck". I have tried on my own for the last few weeks to live by this philosophy, but I am still stuck in wounds from my past. I need outside help to get me unstuck.
I'll be away from the computer for a whole month, but I will let you know how things went when I get back. My heart and prayers will be with you, my friends.
:cool:
It's been eight years since I left my spiritually abusive church. Since I am self-employed, I have a luxury that many people don't have: I have been able to withdraw from society. This has not been a healthy thing for me. I used to be an outgoing person who thrived around people. Cutting myself off from people has been similar to cutting myself off from food.
I found a place in the mountains that I am going to stay at for 28 days. It is somewhat of a high-priced rehab. I quit drinking over three months ago, but I still have a lot of issues that are trying to drive me to abuse substances again. The place I am going to is rated in the top-10 best facilities of its kind in the world. I am lucky to be able to go there. It's going to cost a lot, but based on the state of mind I have been in, it will be worth every penny. This place is going to force me to get up in the mornings, get around people in groups, talk with therapists, go mountain hiking, do rope climbing, and all kinds of interaction with people that have faced similar addiction issues.
Today I was having cold feet, but my wife encouraged me to go. She has seen my slow descent from a fun-loving people-person to an isolated, angry, addicted victim. This was not a choice I made. It happened due to the spiritual abuse we suffered. However, I cannot live my life this way any longer. This is not who I am. I just need some outside help to become the person that I was again. God knows I have tried to do it on my own, but I can't. It's not healthy to close the door to the rest of mankind, but when we are hurting from wounds that the people we trusted inflicted upon us, that is exactly what we want to do.
I've got a new perception on life now. I believe that we all create negative or positive energy by the thoughts we think and the words we speak (which is a Biblical concept). Our focus can either be on what happened to us yesterday, or on the good that tomorrow will bring for us. However, when we get victimized, our natural tendency is to live in the past - and this is what makes us get "stuck". I have tried on my own for the last few weeks to live by this philosophy, but I am still stuck in wounds from my past. I need outside help to get me unstuck.
I'll be away from the computer for a whole month, but I will let you know how things went when I get back. My heart and prayers will be with you, my friends.
:cool: