Family Divided by dieceiver in Calvary Chapel

[calhoon4jesus]

Not knowing how to do this whole forum thing, I already posted my story in response to Army Moms plea for people who have been abused by Calvary Chapel pastors. It's quite lengthy so I'll just ask if you want to know you go to my response to her. In a nutshell, we questioned a teaching, the pastor then made it impossible to stay and then slandered us by ex communication us from his church and tried then sent his message out to the other churches that we were 'sowers of discord' and they shouldn't allow us in until we get up in front of his body and repent. We did not at the time do this but now we are telling the truth to anyone who asks because we fear for people. He is a cult leader under the name Calvary Chapel and I believe there are many of them. We have two sons married to two of his daughters so this complicates matters greatly. It's been 2 and a half years since this began and we are healing quickly as God provided a refuge for us to heal. Praise HIM for that, otherwise I was headed for an institution. There is so much to tell. If you want to read more, I got into a little more detail in my response to Army Mom. One thing I can really say and mean in the midst of this trial is that our sufferings really do refine us and prepare us to be used by our Lord. I couldn't have said that 2 years ago or even a year ago because my circumstances were drowning me and I just wanted to die but now I can. I know that there are always going to be downer times as we go through life facing new incidences, babies being born, baby didications, just the general big walls between us and our sons and their wives. So far we have been told to stay away from the hospital when our grandson was born and were not invited to the baby dedication, etc. I just want to encourage all of you, there are a few good pastors out there that can help you through, some of them having been abused themselves. Try to find a church with one of these. I know it's not easy and I know the trust issues run deep but we need to be involved with a fellowship of believers who are true and that usually only happens when the leaders are true. It's scary I know to try to trust anyone after being abused and we should never fully trust anyone to the point that we allow them to lead us astray anyway but there are some who are real and really do care. God Bless you

[juliob]

Dear Calhoun4Jesus,
Your story breaks my heart, especially since it was perpetrated by "Christians."It is so the opposite of what Jesus would want,it is almost unbelievable. Have you at all attempted to reconcile with your children and their spouses? Is there not a central leadership in Calvary Chapel who can mediate so that you can become a family again? I believe what you are saying because I have somewhat experienced it myself since my ex-husband has become involved with Calvary.He did not attend our sons' confirmation at our old church because it was a Lutheran Church and he said he had been taught at Calvary that the Lutheran Church is a dead church. (He was really only angry that the pastor refused to give him a recommendation to the mainstream seminary he wanted to go to, and Calvary was the only ministry college that would take him.) It seems the unforgiveness you have experienced is so totally contradictory with Jesus's message throughout the New Testament.A church should not be promoting a division within a family, not a church family and especially not a blood family. I attempted to reconcile with my ex-husband over and over since our divorce, even called his pastor to try to get him to help me and he refused, told me that my ex had every right to divorce me and get remarried-no problem Biblically there. I don't understand Calvary's philosophy at all. I confess I have only attended a couple of times, but I see the way that being a part of them has effected the way my ex deals with me and my children since beginning there and it totally confuses me that a church could promote this behavior. He did not make it through the Calvary Bible College, but is currently starting his own Calvary Chapel along with his 3rd wife. (I was number 1, number 2 only lasted a year, and he married number 3 one month after divorcing number 2)