A Miracle!

[Voyager]

A lot has changed at my former abusive church in the last six months. The abusive pastor was terminated, and the elders have told the church members that all of the teachings that the ex-pastor was preaching were wrong. The elders have copies of Jeff VanVonderan's book "The Subtle Power Of Spiritual Abuse" that I sent to them - and they have actually been teaching the church from Jeff's book! I got word that more people in the church were wanting to read the book, so I gave out about ten more copies that I had.

When I escaped in 1998 this church had 500 members. Now there are around 250. The whole town knows the place was a cult, so they are going to change the name of the church. For several years after I escaped I was very vocal about the cult-like tendencies of the church. A few former members and myself put up a website that exposed the corrupt actions of the pastor and promoted it in the local newspaper. At one time we had about 100 members on the website forum who had escaped the church. Many of them escaped the church after reading the website.

It just goes to show that speaking-out does help in some cases (not all). I faced a lot of snubbing and persecution because I spoke out, but in the long run it was worth it. Now the church has launched a reconciliation campaign to ask all of the former members their forgiveness for all of the snubbing that took place. Many of the current members are astonished at their own behavior while under the "spell" of the former pastor. There was a lot of brainwashing that took place.

I have recently seen several families reconciled that had been split by this pastor. There were a lot of families and lives that were destroyed by this pastor - but now a lot of healing is taking place. It was so bad at one point that members were denying that they were even related to family members who had escaped the church. Now there is a lot of embracing and forgiveness going on, and the former pastor was sent packing.

The former pastor went to a church a few states away a few months back trying to get a job after the termination. The staff at this church was told that there was a "church split" by the pastor. They ended up putting the pastor on staff, but within two weeks I got wind of it and emailed the church about the pastor's past corruption and embezzlement. They ended up terminating her after calling the church elders to verify it.

I never really thought this would happen, even though I prayed for it and tried to get the people to wake up to the corruption in every way possible. I sent letters to the editor of the local newspaper and to the church members, I sent out Jeff's book anonomously to about ten of the church members, and at one point we even put flyers about spiritual abuse on all of the cars at the church during a Sunday morning meeting. I believe it all helped wake them up.

I know that all spiritual abuse stories don't turn out this way, but I thought you'd all like to hear about this one.

:cool:

[Hol]

Awesome. Just awesome. How wonderful to hear that some people in a position to do something are GETTING it, and thank God for your faithfulness in bringing them the means to see. Thanks for sharing this good news! Do you think you'll go back there?

Hol

[Voyager]

Do you think you'll go back there?

No, I doubt it - but miracles can happen I guess. I just probably made too many waves by speaking out. I became kind of a "Linda Tripp" figure. People took it personal, as if I was coming against all of them. However, I was only speaking against the pastor's abuse. I love all of the people there - they were like family to me. I just don't think I would feel comfortable going back there. It would probably trigger too many wounds. Then there's the trust factor, and I don't think I could trust any of them again.

:cool:

[Turtle]

Wow, what an incredible story-very timely for me and hubby. Your journey through this stuff has often encouraged, and validated me.

Today on the way home from the new church we attend, DH and I were asking ourselves if old abusive church would call for a reconciliation service would we go. Probably not, as there has been no private attempts made, and it would appear to be contrived for their absolution only. Our new church is involved in a public reconciliation process, but there have beeen many private and confidential meetings with individauls, then the more public involvement, wiht mediation etc. The process has been exemplary.

V, your post was pretty thought provoking. I know about boundaries and all that, but when thinking of all this, I had to ask myself if I would believe someones apology. Perhaps it would be believable if demonstrated by their actions? It's tough to forgive and forgive. Perhaps I need to keep getting on with my own life and TRUST (ha!) that God will enlighten me if and when the time comes. Its just that there have been a few feeble attempts at self serving apologys, and then the abuse would continue. It would feel worse and more degrading every time. Freedom has come from saying no to all the BS of these people.

Thanks for sharing your story. It truly is amazing and encouraging.

[angelica rose]

That is awesome. Aint God good!

[Hope 98]

Voyager - it really is great to hear a success story like yours. It's understandable to proceed with caution - but proceed. God may change your heart too ;)

[MCM (Mary)]

This is pretty amazing. I think it is a good reminder to me not to sell people short. The church we went to where the nastiest things happened -- the head of the nationwide organization turned out to be terrific. I sincerely regret that I didn't give him a chance to get involved before the situation became a tragedy.

The church where I'm going now is giving me a lot of validation. I went through so much turmoil for years, frustrated that what I read in the bible (which seemed clear enough to me) was not at all what I was seeing in any church. Now I'm in a church where the leadership is actively seeking out God's ways of doing things. It is an amazing thing to me to hear people say what I've been trying to say, and doing what I kept thinking we should be doing.

[Oopsie Daisey]

Reading Voyager's miracle and the responses .... I have such mixed emotions....

First, I am happy for Voyager like everyone else here and second I am like Turtle who would find it very hard to believe if someone apologized to me...and wonder if they would really mean it. Having been put through hell, made to grovel, and then rejected after groveling if someone walked up to me and apologized now, I would still wonder what the agenda was but like Voyager if the pastor left then I feel that the hell goes too..The core leader has been the pastor here and he has been the one who has put the ideas in the people's heads that he is their gift...see the pastor before them really done a number and made no doubt about it that he was a real jerk but this one is smooth and deceitful...and he and his wife are habitual liars and they also exaggerate and do what they have to do to keep their crowds... I wished the congregation would leave here. Most of the originals of us are gone...he is only getting people who have left other churches by toying with other churches in town and pretending to be their friend. Like Voyager, I am not well liked because I have spoke my peice while other just walked away...

So Voyager.... While it is nice to see justice in all of this and indeed it is a miracle, I am feeling so cautious for your former church afraid another jerk will walk in just like my ex- pastor was the jerk. He was wolf in sheeps clothing. He hid it better than the one before him.... I keep asking myself if I will ever go back to church. I am so terrified ....

God be with you and I enjoy your miracle with you for the sake of rejoicing with those who rejoice. Blessings,
Melanie

[Voyager]

Update:

I just heard that my former church now only has about 50-60 members left (down from around 500 at its peak). Everyone has bailed out of the place, and it's about ready to close down for good.

I wish that would happen to every abusive church.

:cool:

[Doug64]

Hmmm.

I wonder if something is going on here?f
This group and our former group both making changes at the expense of members and money. One can only hope it's being done for the right reasons.

It's nice when there's good news.

Thanks for sharing Voyager.

Doug :D

[Patty]

Hi John,
Remember me? (Patty). I have read this thread with sadness, even longing. For years, I hoped for the same outcome you have had. I prayed, I waited, and prayed some more. Finally, as we realized that our old pastor and friends were never going to come out of their fog, we tried to move on. We tried some new churches, and like idiots we ended up in nearly the same situation as our former church. It took us awhile to realize that they were even connected and had shared slander and gossip about us all along.

So, we were thrown out out of the next church (cult?). We remained unwelcome at any type of so-called "charismatic" church. Both churches are flourishing and while I would like to hear that even one person come out and admit to me that it is all a lie, I could not even function if I lived in hope for the absolute exoneration you have experienced. I amm happy for you, yet it makes me question God all the more. "How long O Lord, how long?"