OT my best friend sleeps too much

[Lvanett]

Hi all,

I have a wonderful friend in Christ who is bipiolar. Lately though something has happened. I barely see her at work anymore (we work in the same building). She sleeps nearly all day and is up maybe 3 or 4 hours a day, then goes back to bed and repeats the cycle. This has been going on for nearly a week.

I am REALLY concerned about her. Like me, she's also a victim of spiritual abuse. I refuse to cut the strings on our friendship, because we are so much alike that it is evident the Lord brought us together. I want to just go to her home, shake her, and say, I miss you! I'm worried about you!!!! She's even saying she'd rather sleep than live.

Is this NORMAL? Am I being too harsh?

If this type of thread is not allowed, please feel free to delete. thanx

[SpinningHead]

She sleeps nearly all day and is up maybe 3 or 4 hours a day, then goes back to bed and repeats the cycle. This has been going on for nearly a week.

Is this NORMAL? Am I being too harsh?



Not knowing anything...sounds like severe bout of depression or a chemical imbalance...like a severe sudden drop in thyroid (hypo-thyroid).

Do you know if she's been to a doc to have tests?

She's lucky to have a friend who cares. :)

[Lvanett]

I care too much I think. I'm absolutely heartbroken, and she seems to not care. yet she says I'm the best friend she's ever had. When she sleeps all day and night like this, she just shuts out the whole world. I miss her friendship. :( :( :(

She takes meds for her bipolar and goes to counseling, but whenever she has a bad day or something, she goes and sleeps for DAYS. What worries me is her "I'd rather sleep than live" statement. Is there any way I can make her see how unhealthy that is???????????????????????????????????????????????? ?????????????????

[hornblower]

Hi all,

I have a wonderful friend in Christ who is bipiolar. Lately though something has happened. I barely see her at work anymore (we work in the same building). She sleeps nearly all day and is up maybe 3 or 4 hours a day, then goes back to bed and repeats the cycle. This has been going on for nearly a week.

I am REALLY concerned about her. Like me, she's also a victim of spiritual abuse. I refuse to cut the strings on our friendship, because we are so much alike that it is evident the Lord brought us together. I want to just go to her home, shake her, and say, I miss you! I'm worried about you!!!! She's even saying she'd rather sleep than live.

Is this NORMAL? Am I being too harsh?


Yes its normal for her if shes not on her medication and it sounds like shes not. Theres probably nothing you can do but pray for her. I suffer with depression and believe you me I would rather sleep than live most days. I have to fight like all get out just to get up. I just found out through a sleep study that I have sleep apnea.

My husband has been at me for a long time to go get this done so i have toi now for the cure and there is one. Maybe there is hope for me with the sleeping thing. You might ask her about that if she has ever been tested for sleep apnea but if she has been diagnosed with bipolar................................its probably it. However and this is just a thought if I went to a pschiatrist I know they would say Im bipolar too. Personally I dont see it because I am never manic about anything, I dont think I am anyway.
I will be praying for both of you. Have you called her?

[Lvanett]

well she is on meds....but she wasn't for a while. She was diagnosed as bipolar. She gets counseling so I may suggest to her that she talk to her counselor about this.

She has also told me to tell her when I see things in her that concern me, because I have sensed things about her in the Spirit, like seeing signs of her about to have a breakdown, or getting too "high" (as they say bipolars do).

About her wanting to sleep instead of live, I understand that since I'm depressed too, but since she IS on meds for the bipolar and such, would they still cause her to feel/act this way?

[SpinningHead]

but since she IS on meds for the bipolar and such, would they still cause her to feel/act this way?

She could have a spike in her chemical imbalance caused by a variety of outside issues. If she stopped taking her meds, then started again...that could cause it. Or if she experienced an overwhelming situation...that too.

Hubby's sister is bi-polar (and I suspect his mother & sister's son too) and she has those times when she's very similar. At the time it's easier for her to indulge in those feelings but when she does get to the doc and have her chemicals checked and meds adjusted, she always says how much better she feels and how hard it was for her to "snap out of it".

Your friend should have her chemicals checked for balance. But I know that's hard for you to make her do.

[Lvanett]

well like I said, she does want me to let her know if there's something she's doing that concerns me so I might mention. I do know she's had some personal trouble with an ex-boyfriend so maybe that is it. The least I can do is pray and seek God's will.

[Jerry]

Dear Lavanett,,,,
If it is possible,,,,contact her Counselor and advise of this behavior.The Counselor will not be able to talk with you in depth about a client,,,,but may be able to advise you of ways to get her in for help ....Also the Counselor may have no idea this is going on ;)
Love Jerry

[Lvanett]

If the counselor can't talk about a client, then how can I go about advising her? I would LOVE to do that but she doesn't know me so I presume she would treat me as though I were just a stranger. :confused:

[ninaspirit]

If the counselor can't talk about a client, then how can I go about advising her? I would LOVE to do that but she doesn't know me so I presume she would treat me as though I were just a stranger. :confused:

just a thot: maybe start by encouraging your friend to call her therapist after noting to her what you are seeing. If she's not motivated to do that you might ask her if you can call her therapist for her and offer to take her to an apointment. if that doesn't work you could call any hospital or crisis intervention and ask for further advice. they might be willing to discuss the situation more openly in a general way. you are a good friend. :) ninas.

[Lvanett]

what I'm afraid of is that my friend will take this the wrong way, like I am against her or something. The situation goes deeper than this. Just before this latest incident, she was talking of how she wanted to apply for a program for disabled workers, where she could get a job or promotion with the State (she works for the State already but wants out of her current job). She thinks she'd be happier in a promotion, and yet she did get one on this job but lost it after 6 months due to her taking weeks off at a time and doing the things she does now.

She has always been the type of person who didn't want to go to a regular job, and has constantly said she'd rather be on SSI and/or have the government support her than go to work. She's never said this, but it makes me wonder if she wants to get a disability card. Knowing her as I do, she'd probably think that would be ideal. However I don't think it'd be a good idea but I know she wouldn't listen to me and would just apply for it anyway. (When she's depressed and doing things like this nothing I say or do matters to her.) I don't know if being bipolar would automatically qualify her or not, but I fear it would and if that happens I know I would never see or hear from her again, because she would crawl back in her shell and sleep forever.

I can't tell yall how much that hurts me. It probably shouldn't, but for someone who has said I'm her best friend, and the only person she'd keep in touch with, I have cried so much over this. We are so much alike and it is so apparent that God brought us together for a reason - more than as friends (and by that I don't mean we're lovers, neither of us are like that) - that seeing her suffer, and then refuse to listen, is so heartbreaking. Our lives are so similar and we are so much alike that we say we're like identical twins separated at birth (we're not, she was born in 1963 and I was born in 1965 so no chance of that, LOL). I wish the Lord would intervene.

[Lvanett]

I GIVE UP.

I am not going to keep beating this dead horse. I cannot do this any more.

I just tried to call my friend and I told her I'm worried about her. I GOT ATTITUDE BACK. She's in total denial and says she's been sick, so why worry?
........SIGH...........
And her jusitification for not being in yesterday? They're installing new countertops TODAY at her home.
........SIGH...........

And this is all "normal"??????????????????????? Just because she's bipolar???????????

So, fine, if she wants to be in denial she can, for the rest of her life. If I'm going to get attitude when I try to express concern, SO BE IT. I don't need this!

[Anna Marta]

Hi Lynda,

It seems to me as I read back over your posts that there may be more going on here than you are aware of. I know you are trying hard to be a good friend that is clear by your words of love for her. However, some of your evaluations sound a bit judgemental as you assume what her motivations are even though she has not said them.

I want to ask this gently - Are you maybe trying to control her so she will do what you think is best for her? Regardless of how much we love someone they have to be free to make their own choices and decisions without fearing our reactions.

I just want to encourage you to allow your friend to be where she is without having to answer to you. Her "attitude" may be a signal to you.

Sometimes, even the best of us (me included) can slip into the trap of believing our friends owe us for what we have done or think we should mean to them. It is a lesson hard learned, or it was for me.

This may be a growing time for both of you as you learn to love each other in positive ways.

Love,
Anna Marta

[Lvanett]

thanx for the information and insights, I'll have to pray about it. :)