British Christians - Spiritual Abuse

[supernatural]

This forum is an excellent forum and I dont wish to take away from it in any way. However, it is a very American-based forum (not a bad thing, :) ). An English forum has also been set up, based in Sheffield, but all are welcome.

The website is:
http://www.sheffield.heavenforum.com

Please do drop in, wherever you are from!! :)

SN xx

[Jerry]

This forum is an excellent forum and I dont wish to take away from it in any way. However, it is a very American-based forum (not a bad thing, :) ). An English forum has also been set up, based in Sheffield, but all are welcome.

The website is:
http://www.sheffield.heavenforum.com

Please do drop in, wherever you are from!! :)

SN xx
Dear SN,,,
Thanks for the invite ;)
Love Jerry

[ex-shep]

took a glance. just started up. sounds like the members had some issues with shepherding. Looks interesting.

[leelees]

cheers SN, will check it out....another forum to keep me occupied heh:D

[butterfly]

cheers SN, will check it out....another forum to keep me occupied heh:D

Please Leelees remeber you belong here also.:D :D :D :D

I like what you have to say.:D

Oh guess what I have been drinking Tetley instent ice tea all summer.

I didn't read the label.Da :eek: :o It was on sale so I bought it. I looked at the label yesterday and said to myself "Oh Tetley Ice Tea.

Here I am a Lipton girl telling you before I didn"t like Tetely.butterfly shirely

[mary]

This forum is an excellent forum and I dont wish to take away from it in any way. However, it is a very American-based forum (not a bad thing, :) ). An English forum has also been set up, based in Sheffield, but all are welcome.

The website is:
http://www.sheffield.heavenforum.com

Please do drop in, wherever you are from!! :)

SN xx

Thanks, Supernatural - and welcome here! :) I'm an American who was abused here by a British minister and largely British congregation in a "mission church" set up here... Your suggestion sounds wonderful. Another British board, not the one you've referred to, wasn't very nice to me at all - in fact, they banned me - when I went on it and politely hinted that "there might be a problem" with one of their churches. I couldn't make myself not sound like a Yank, and I think that was part of what rankled them.

I will consider taking a look at the Sheffield forum -- but I'll be very, very careful and give due discretion and consideration before I post on it!

Thank you so very much for alerting us to this forum - and again, welcome to ours here!

mary

[ex-shep]

I will consider taking a look at the Sheffield forum -- but I'll be very, very careful and give due discretion and consideration before I post on it!

Thank you so very much for alerting us to this forum - and again, welcome to ours here!

mary[/QUOTE]

Of course the major differnce is they have virtual teapot as opposed to the virtual coffepot in the states. Rather ecumenical of us I might say.

[Jo Jo]

Oooooo, Sean Bean's from Sheffield, I'm crazy about Sean Bean... how's that for shallow Whoop!

Thanks for the invite. :) I'll take a peek.

[supernatural]

Thanks to all you lovely people for popping in - the number of hits has increased significantly since yesterday!!! :)

I have a busy day at work today, but I will be popping onto this forum regularly, as its interesting to see the global picture.

Spiritual abuse is rife, but we live in progressive times, and I believe that people like us can create a revolution in Christian living, encouraging people to be real, to be human, and to be honest rather than living a corporate lie that life is all shiny and beautiful, when clearly it isnt always.

Can I just say re the sheffield forum, everyone from everywhere is welcome to drop in. you may get some interesting debates, but I know most of the people behind the screen-names and they are good people who have just been badly hurt. Nobody will be rejected, and nobody need worry about being 'too' controversial!!! ;)

[Carmen]

I'm interested in the way spiritual abuse in England might differ. I doubt that the differences are that great. I know that at least some Anglican churches participate in some church movements that are popular in the US too, and that harm has already come of it. Pentecostal churches can also create abusive and/or deceptive atmospheres, like they do here in Italy. I'll pop over when I have time, probably next week.

[leelees]

heh, you know you gotta love tetley!

i kind of dont feel i belong anywhere right now

*in depressed fed up mode*:o

[supernatural]

Resurrecting this thread to respond to Carmens question about how British churches differ from American ones.

My answer: I dont know if they do differ, perhaps they dont... I guess the intention for focusing it on British Christians was with the intention to possible develop the online community at the Heavenforum into an actual community of people who could meet periodically, and perhaps set up a network of localised support groups in the community.

I really feel that God is calling me to minister to hurt Christians, specifically those who have suffered spiritual abuse. I have begun to do this by writing a piece about how I was treated by the church I went to for 5 years on the day my husband and I renewed our wedding vows in the church (our actual wedding day was not in that church - praise God!)

I have enclosed it in this thread, as although it is not my most shocking story, I think it shows the subtle behaviour changes and guilty feelings that can occur as a result of spiritual abuse. Please feel free to comment. I'd like to eventually compile a lot of similar stories to publish in a book, so if anyone would like to post their stories, I'll try and put them all into a recognisable format. Please change names and identifiable details - this isnt about exposure, but about supporting one another and raising awareness of spiritual abuse. I wont use everyone's material, but will let you know if I do use yours.

My story is below. All names have been changed.

WEDDING VOWS

‘They’ll wait for you, don’t worry’

I raced round the house, trying to find the car keys, so my best friend could drive me to the church. Wearing a heavy wedding gown, this wasn’t ideal, but I was frantic. Eventually I found them, buried under a pile of books.

‘Calm down, Katy – it’s ok’ reassured Amy, seeing the state I was getting into.

‘Let’s just get to the car, dammit!’ I growled.

Eventually we got to the car, and with the help of Amy I bundled myself into the passenger seat. Clutching the roses, hastily bought from a nearby supermarket, I urged Amy to drive as fast as she could. I hadn’t bothered with a seatbelt, and she was being cautious.

We approached a set of traffic lights and I told Amy to stay in the left hand lane. Amy, being unfamiliar with the city, followed the flow of traffic round to the left instead of continuing ahead as I had hoped.

‘Oh shit!! Amy, you’ve gone the wrong way!! Oh my gosh, we’re running late already, I can’t believe this! They’ll cancel our slot. I can’t believe this… turn round, TURN ROUND, Amy!

Amy, with the patience of a saint, manoeuvred the car against the heavy flow of traffic. Other drivers initially looked angry, then noticed the bridal clothes and smiled encouragingly, making way for our car.

‘Thank you, thank you’ I cried.

We continued on our journey, Amy followed my directions meticulously, but we seemed to be hitting every red light in existence. My anxieties rose, as we were running five minutes late for our scheduled arrival.

Finally, we drive through the last set of traffic lights, and approach the church. Outside the church, Matt, my groom is pacing frantically, red in the face and flustered. He smiles a wide smile of relief when he sees me arrive, and waves our car to stop at the front of the church.

‘Quick Katy, where have you been? You’re ten minutes late, and they said they might not be able to wait much longer!’

Arriving in the church foyer, Jane, a senior elder in the church approaches me. ‘Katy, where have you been? We’ve had to reschedule the church bulletins, and if we’d had to wait any longer we might not have been able to do it at all. Anyway, you’re here now. By the way, the music you requested for walking down the aisle? Pastor Mike has decided not to use that. Instead, he’s asked the worship band to prepare something else for you.’

I smiled at Jane, but my heart sank. My thoughts raced ‘What if I don’t like what they’ve prepared? I hope it’s something good, and nothing too sentimental… I suppose it’s too late to change it now’.

Amy had disappeared from sight; ushered away by a red-faced young girl to the seat allocated for her.

As we stepped into the church auditorium, the music swelled. The first notes of ‘Lean on me’ filled the church. I caught Matt’s eye and smiled. The song was one of my favourites.

Pastor Mike always got it right. He always knew best. I pushed away the guilt I felt for being so late, and began my journey to the altar.