More invisible triggers

[Willow]

I went to see some former cult members in concert last night. I've talked to several of the people I was in the group with.... and it's really eerie to me that only a few out of hundreds remember me. Actually... I have run across only one that claims to remember me, although I know there are more.

Anyway... last night was another experience of this. I approached the people and told them who I was and they didn't remember me at all... even though I talked to them several times and went to the same church in two different states with them over the course of a year or two. It's really freaking me out that the part of my life that has most influenced the rest of my life (the involvement in the cult) and no one seems to remember me. I wonder if my presence was not a good one and they didn't really want to be reminded of the past...

[Voyager]

I went to see some former cult members in concert last night.

Did they play the song "Firewoman" by "The Cult"? I love that song! :D

I wonder if my presence was not a good one and they didn't really want to be reminded of the past...

Errrr... maybe it was the drug-induced Kool-Aid that they've been drinking that has ruined their memory?

:D :D :D

[Willow]

Ya think I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill?

[Willow]

Actually... it was a great concert and I should focus on that part of it. I even participated some from the sidelines.

[Voyager]

Ya think I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill?

Not at all. I just think they are all so deceived that they don't have a clue as to how duped they are. It's sad that they didn't remember you. But, as you know, those people will always hurt you. They are involved in codependency, and codependency always has victims.

Recently I was thinking about re-visiting my former cult since the pastor has been terminated. Then I decided not to after talking to another former member who re-visited the place, and he was telling me about how hokey it still is. They are still playing the same stupic cult games that they were playing under the former leader.

Sorry if my sarcasm came across wrong. I just can't believe at times that I was in a cult. But, I guess it's better to be a "former" cult member than to be an "existing" cult member.

:cool:

[Willow]

Ahhh... I see now. Actually... they are former members too. They play back up for Emmy Lou Harris now and are bigtime musicians. It made me feel proud that I knew them way back when in another lifetime. It was 1982-5 and a millenium ago for all of us. I just wished they had remembered or wanted to remember. It would have been kinda healing to me. I did run up and hand some silverware to one of them as they were looking for their tambourine. It ended up with her running around to all the tables begging for glasses and cups and spoons to give all the back up singers in the band. It was really pretty hilarious and I started the whole thing!

I think that is kinda how they feel... they can't believe they were in a cult and probably hate reminders.

[Doug64]

Hi Willow and ex shep:


It it's the musicians who don't remember you, I can't say that I'm surprised.
Entertainers see so many people over a year that unless you were close they probably wouldn't remember.

I'm usually the one who doesn't remember. Someone will ask me "Do you remember so-and-so who attended back in 19 whatever?" And often I don't have a clue who they are talking about.

The cemetery board is having some signs reworked and come to find out that the salesman attended our former church way back when. There were three locations in the metro then, and he and I didn't go to the same one. He doesn't remember me and I don't remember him, although we probably passed each other in an aisle at combined services sometime.

Doug :cool:

[Voyager]

Ahhh... I see now. Actually... they are former members too. They play back up for Emmy Lou Harris now and are bigtime musicians. It made me feel proud that I knew them way back when in another lifetime.

Oh, I see. I thought that your former cult was having a concert. That's why I joked by asking if they played the song "Firewoman" by "The Cult". LOL!

:rolleyes:

[Willow]

LOL.... and I would be shouting... THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE! THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE! Isn't there a song like that too? HAHA

(((((((((Doug))))))))))) I should know that as well as anyone. I was in the same shoes not that long ago. It's not just them though... it's so many people. I was only in the group for 4 years and therefore had limited contact with the other members. The majority of the people were in the group for at least 10 years. Some saw their 40th birthday in the group and had joined as teens. I guess I got out lucky. Anyway... it probably explains why no one remembers me. However... I remember almost all of them and the whole cult thing had a profound impact on my life. It's just really twisted to have left such a small footprint on something that left such a large footprint on my life. Ya know? I guess that's what I'm getting at... not sure at this point though. All I know is that this invisible topic is really big for me right now.

[Jerry]

I wonder if my presence was not a good one and they didn't really want to be reminded of the past...

Dear Willow,,
Have ya ever noticed that when you go in a filthy kitchen and snap the light on,all the cockroches scurry back under the cabnits????
Love Jerry

[Willow]

I dunno Jerry... I think these are good people who survived a bad experience, just like me. They don't make any reference to those years in the ministry and Buddy told me they were trying hard to put it behind them.

[Jerry]

Dear Willow,,,
It will never be behind them till they resolve it.The way they treated you,,,,,it has already returned :(
Love Jerry

[Willow]

well... maybe my presence at their concerts will be a good thing for them then. I might get to meet them when a mutual friend comes to nashville to visit some day.

[ex-shep]

Dear Willow,,,
It will never be behind them till they resolve it.The way they treated you,,,,,it has already returned :(
Love Jerry


There are a few who do walk our their experiences unscathed. They were somewhat fortunate to put it perspective and walk on. Most of us are not so lucky. Unless the members have an understanding of what they were doing, they are bound to repeat the same mind control blunders alll over again. That is tragic indeed.

[Willow]

Really... these people were wounded more deeply than I can ever imagine. They were in it much deeper than I and were victims rather than abusers. In retrospect, I can see that the whole incident was due to bad timing and them being hit from all angles with attention and a tight schedule. I was oversensitive in this case. I think I might get to visit with them someday in better social atmospheres. I hope so anyway.

[ex-shep]

Really... these people were wounded more deeply than I can ever imagine. They were in it much deeper than I and were victims rather than abusers. In retrospect, I can see that the whole incident was due to bad timing and them being hit from all angles with attention and a tight schedule. I was oversensitive in this case. I think I might get to visit with them someday in better social atmospheres. I hope so anyway.


I have taken the same attitude with "Tammy" I certainly pray they can find avenues of recovery and freedom and that perhaps you could be a positive influence.

It was November 11, 1984 that recognized the mind control in my group and walked out. I guess I will celebrate with a venti white mocha. I am grateful for the recovery, but there is still a hole my soul with Tammy still in. Rather bittersweet day, I guess.

[Willow]

Fortunately, with my former group, no one was left behind. The group dissolved and the leader was exposed as fraudulent. It left a bunch of people behind picking up the pieces of their lives though. I mean... some of them didnt' know anything else but the ministry and were quite non-functional in a work-a-day world. Some are still in shambles... but the group is not doing this to anyone else anymore.. that gives me some peace. It did leave in its wake, hundreds of groups just like it or worse though. I'm certain from hearing your stories, that your group was a lot like my group.