looking for a new church home...again :(

[outcast]

I know it has been a few weeks since I've been on here. I have started a new job and it is going well, but it has been taxing compared to the old one. But, that is not the point of this post.

I have been unhappy at my new church of 9 months for about 2-3 months now. Mostly b/c the pastor seemed nice on the outside but like he had no substance within. This week we found out that was very true.

Our church had sent a couple up north to start a new ministry back in January. Our pastor had promised that we would sponsor and raise a set amount of money for said ministry. Many collections were taken up and my hubby and I had committed to a monthly amount.

I spoke with our friends this week and the wife informed me that they were having to move back where we live b/c pastor had informed them this week that our church had run out of money to pay their salaries. All the money collected so far for that effort was misspent and now they are moving home.

In part, my heart is vexed about this b/c I wish we had ended up in a church that had a good pastor so that we could stay and heal. However, a part of me feels somewhat vindicated b/c I have been telling hubby for weeks that something wasn't quite right about our new pastor - I just couldn't put my finger on what that was.

So, we will be taking a hiatus from church this week likely and we will begin our search for a new church home the following week. I was very sick this week with a respiratory infection, so this has been a tiresome week to say the least. We both feel that we should just take the day tomorrow to rest and reflect.

Forumers, please pray for hubby and I as we begin our search. I know you all can identify with how we feel which is why I post here. I trust you all. I know you do not judge me. We aren't sure what type of church we want to belong to. We just want to be somewhere safe. I will let you all know how it turns out. :)

[leelees]

i know how you feel, money was a big thing in bad church...after finding out bad pastor earned something like £40/$80 odd thousand a year i felt very angry...who does he think he is to tell me what to do with my money and how to spend it when hes livin it up large!!!

i really hope you find a good church, and outcast, there is nothing to judge you and hubby on, or anyone else here!!


i hope i find a nice bloke at my new one ill be goin to hehe :D erm..yeah, priorites and all :o :D

[Jerry]

Dear Outcast,,,,
Read what "Isaiah" says about these guys,,,,Isaiah 3 verses 13-26

Note: Verse 13 is the "subject verse" (the Lords judgement).....Verse 14 is the "object verse" (those to whom the judgement is directed) ....The subject and object do not change over all 13 verses ....Hebrew literary structure is very rigid in it's rules of speech regarding subject and object....The phrase "daughters of Zion" in Hebrew is a masculine metaphor referencing the "Clergy" and does not mean women ;)

I think you'll see that God doesn't like those "scumbags" either :D
Love Jerry
P.S.Here's an interesting sidebar.......In biblical numerics the number 13 (13 verses) denotes rebellion,apostacy,defection,disintegration,revolu tion. The Bible speeks on many levels :D
Hehehe one more thing,,,,,in verse 16 of the discourse Isaiah compairs their behavior to Prostitution

[jane]

Outcast-

did the couple mis spend the money or the pastor/church?


My advice to you is to take some time outside of a church before making decisions...if you like to attend church then bounce around visiting for a few weeks so that you get fed but not attached to a church body.

We left our abusive church after about 9 years...and were VERY afraid to not be planted in a body. We joined up with a church for less than one year and got robbed from the pastor who was doing our kitchen work AND watched a horrific dysfunctional church split.

I now believe that it is EASY to get sucked in to a dysfunctional place if coming from one without a break or breather....to let the fog clear away and see clearly..

this is just my opinion, take what you will and throw away the rest.

I don't have the answers for you on church picking because I haven't solved that problem in my own life yet. We for now enjoy very much not being a part of any organized church group...but honestly I feel such guilt that my children are not being raised in sunday school or a church family. BUT, they are being raised by OUR FAMILY which they wouldn't be if we were still so over busy in the church we orginally left.

Blessings to you on your search. Look for His people....by the fruit that they bear...and make sure the fruit is not an outward appearance to look HOLY....but is really there.

love,
jane

[Jo Jo]

This is hurtful, but good that you found out before you spent years and years here of time, money and emotional investment. It sounds like a good plan to take time finding a new place, that is what my friend is doing, healing and then looking... do what works for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you in your journey.

[outcast]

Outcast-

did the couple mis spend the money or the pastor/church?


My advice to you is to take some time outside of a church before making decisions...if you like to attend church then bounce around visiting for a few weeks so that you get fed but not attached to a church body.

We left our abusive church after about 9 years...and were VERY afraid to not be planted in a body. We joined up with a church for less than one year and got robbed from the pastor who was doing our kitchen work AND watched a horrific dysfunctional church split.

I now believe that it is EASY to get sucked in to a dysfunctional place if coming from one without a break or breather....to let the fog clear away and see clearly..

this is just my opinion, take what you will and throw away the rest.

I don't have the answers for you on church picking because I haven't solved that problem in my own life yet. We for now enjoy very much not being a part of any organized church group...but honestly I feel such guilt that my children are not being raised in sunday school or a church family. BUT, they are being raised by OUR FAMILY which they wouldn't be if we were still so over busy in the church we orginally left.

Blessings to you on your search. Look for His people....by the fruit that they bear...and make sure the fruit is not an outward appearance to look HOLY....but is really there.

love,
jane

The pastor misspent the money. He was buying things for the new ministry that were not really needed. Apparently, he justified everything he did also. Our friends were innocent and they trusted pastor to keep his word about raising enough money for this ministry. It is so sad.

I don't have a problem with not going to church right now but hubby is struggling with it. In fact, I would rather just not go for awhile until I feel like I am ready again.

Thanks for the advice everyone. I really appreciate you all.

[ex-shep]

The pastor misspent the money. He was buying things for the new ministry that were not really needed. Apparently, he justified everything he did also. Our friends were innocent and they trusted pastor to keep his word about raising enough money for this ministry. It is so sad.

I don't have a problem with not going to church right now but hubby is struggling with it. In fact, I would rather just not go for awhile until I feel like I am ready again.

Thanks for the advice everyone. I really appreciate you all.

Jane gives some excellent advice. I concur with her. It was about five months before I could venture into another church. The time was worth it.

[jane]

[QUOTE=outcast;37696]The pastor misspent the money. He was buying things for the new ministry that were not really needed. Apparently, he justified everything he did also. Our friends were innocent and they trusted pastor to keep his word about raising enough money for this ministry. It is so sad."



very very very sad. too bad the pastor couldn't have trusted the ministry leaders to use the money the way they needed.......:(

jane

[beginagainrose]

So happy to see you're back... I missed you and was praying for you. I am 9 yrs out and as for my attempts at finding a safe place, I am at 20 and counting... I thought I found a place but two huge red flags the first Sunday (the witness of 2 is true!) told me to keep looking... dont give the search... the faithful remnant is out there.... somewhere:)

[Anna Marta]

"So, we will be taking a hiatus from church this week likely and we will begin our search for a new church home the following week. I was very sick this week with a respiratory infection,"

No surprise you have a respiratory infection, your immune system is probably weakened by this newest ordeal.

There's nothing wrong with taking a hiatus from church hunting and allowing yourselves the freedom to know God loves you regardless of where you are or how you worship him. If you struggle with this, I can rec. Jake's Story. It is ministering to us and challenging our guilt based church outlook.

We shall meet this Friday for the 1st time with 6 others just to share our faith journeys and where we are in our relationship with God. We've agreed not to discuss old wounds, problems or complaints during this time, but to arrange to come together with those who want to pursue those things at another time. We hope this will keep our evening centered on God and what He is doing.