Dont know?

[hornblower]

when Ill be back. I need to go buy some virus protection mine has expired and we are out of money big time. Please be praying for my family. My daughter is being sued and Im being persecuted once again by my sister and her family. Im hurting.
Just spent the night wired up in h**** felt like anyway with a sleep study. Im hoping to get some help with this fibromyalgia pain its really bad now with all of the stress so its good to get a break from the computer anyway.

Plus a lot of work has to be done on this house to get it ready to show. The sign should be up this weekend again.

Pray that God will orchestrate this whole thing and get us a place to live where we can for once have some peace and i can once again start my painting. That moving will not be a huge hard deal. My husband is in so much pain probably facing some sort of surgery and you know all of the daily battles for my daughter. She has another job so thats good.

Less money more hours but whats really important to me is if she can finally have a friend at least one?
The girl that is suing her took her clothes out of the drier and through them in the house that is underneath her where these men live that are all disabled.
People just dont understand her or care they take advantage of her constantly. She is my constant witness, always so full of faith. Prays constantly for everyone. She prayes daily for you Janice and Tim. Always asking me how both of you are. Shes helping a young mexican man and his mother fill out forms to get a job here in the US.

Scares me to death how she is always reaching out to help anybody anywhere but???????? Thats my Jesus girl. You see what God has done even though its hard to live with and understand. Shes so poor and helpless and in so much danger but she always seems to have the angels looking out for her.
They always did didnt they? She is the only one alive from that murderer. sick but alive!

This world is so cruel.
So anyway I will miss you guys hopefully it wont be that long. This time im buying the virus protection instead of downloading it so I dont know it maybe monday when Im back with it or later I dont know.

The girl doing my sleep study wanted to buy my jewelry. I need to get some cards made up to give out. Get a web site up. Get started.
If you read this Jerry........I love you and all of you too and specially my friend Theo my best sis in this world the one I owe everything too.
Bye for now.:o
oh and PS...........I know it probably sounds like I think Im the only one with problems I sound so dramatic. I know Im not, believe me.............gotta understand this is a PUTER!!!!!!!!!!!! Its not all of me.........Im more than my sick self that comes here and babbles on and on making everybody sick of me. Well? Maybe not! Lol.

[Jo Jo]

I'm not sick of you! I hope you will be back soon.

I know if I didn't have a husband that knows about computers I probably wouldn't be lucky enough to have one. They confuse me. :rolleyes:

I hope the problems that your daughter is facing will get sorted out, and that God will hold you both.

Talk to you soon hopefully.

[hornblower]

ThankYou Jo Jo. Its just that I so oftten think I am such a drain on people with my depression and health problems family etc. I hope I dont catch anything coming here haha. I need to go get protection today still dont have it yet.
More has happened with my sister, her husband called my son and just as I had figured he caved in under the pressure. My husband has way too much faith in him, looks up to him like he is more than a son. But I know he is only human and this is a real evil thing that is happening here. I would ask that somebody help me pray and to please not pray against me.........meaning......I do forgive people but I am most angry and upset about all of this. My son started blaming me for all that is happening saying my sister is timid and Im not, she is scared of me like he is, (?) they dont seem scared of me to me. They are yelling at me accusing me of who knows what? How is that being scared?
No, this fear they have is of their own emotions. I am an emotional truthful person, passionate yes and I have a lot of therapy under my belt which they dont have in fact its just the opposite for them. They want to hide from anything human all their little faults and never look inside which is almost 'all' I am doing.
Its not strange to me that now as older persons my sisters kids are seeking out professional help as well they should be.
Its way too complicated to tell it all on here I just wish somebody could trust me that I am not at fault in any way. Alas like Job, always someone thinking I could have done this or that and everything would be better. But how can a person control another person? I cant. My sister has her own issues and she wont get any help she wont even talk about it just like my Mom, never facing anything, taking all of her pain always out on me.
I have been simply giving myself wholley to my God and Savior not knowing what else I can do? I am His! Whatever He wants to teach me I am here, whatever He has for me I am here? I dont know what esle to do. My husband and I cannot sleep right we think about the possible impending doom all of the time, the stress is huge.

Nothing in comparison to Janice or many others on here but you understand its huge to us. Sometimes well in fact often I wonder how can we survive this? We are barely making it day to day. Ive prayed deeply about this initial idea I had of taking care of my parents in their old age and their illnessess. For a very long time I didnt know if I had done what God would have me do then He showed me that I was indeed in His will.

I give myself no credit for any of it. To me this is what a daughter should do is care for the ones that cared for me. Whatever my parents did, they most certainly worked hard to support myself and my siblings, to the point of almost dying they did all they knew to do. That is love. I wished for more some saneness, some comfort, some emotional and even just human support, it was seldom there for me. I was always the bad seed and always blamed for everything that went wrong even to the small things like my Mother spilling something, it was always my fault. My brother and sister were raised believing this, as was I.
In later years i cared for them because they trusted me and only me. I often saw them I was honest with them I confronted them we worked on it all of the time. They helped me and I helped them. I drove them everywhere. I was never payed for anything. I took care of my Fathers feet. That was too belittling for my Mother to do. Years and years all of this went on until my Dadss mind was so gone that in his last months and his last year he was strapped down to a bed and force fed and kept alive with machines. I took my Mother to see him everyday. I had to care for her the same way I had cared for him. Dressed her, cleaned her, saw to this house, as we are still doing, carried her to her doctor appointments my sister never even called me or her. I took her every week to see my sister and have lunch with her.
Now its all about money.
Which we dont have mostly because of all of thte things that have happened with my daughter the hospitals the constant scrapes that she gets herself into. This is the first year we have been able to live without her completely controlling out every movement. I can almost sleep but not entirely because who knows what will happen ot her next? Ive cared for her for 34 years and we still do even though she isnt living with us any longer thank God. She called my husband on his cell phone saturday as we were in the movies and the credits were just beginning to come on the screen. We were hundreds of miles away and she called to ask if her Dad would call her back in ten minutes to wake her up from her nap? Lol.
Troubled waters is what the Lord showed me Sunday morning. Here is what He has shown me. He forgave the entire world as He hung on the cross, high up there in all of that pain that believe me He most certainly felt every spec of. He died for them but do you think that the world acknowledges what He did for them? No. Do they all come to Him and ask for His forgiveness that He died to give them? No they dont. Now I dont think as yet that He comes down from His cross or His heavenly home and shoves forgiveness down anyones throats, for how can He do that?
I used to call my brother after he would lash out at me for no reason and belittle me. I would call him and ask him to forgive me if I had done anything to him to make him angry? Knowing in my heart that as usual he was drunk and high and messed up and that I had done nothing to him except love him with all of the love I had and Jesus had too. Then one night after a huge belittling session in which I literally thought that I would come apart and die from the pain of it. I slapped his pony tail, and told him that was it he had just put me down for the very last time. My husband was on me about it all of the way home but I stuck it out all night long with Jesus. Not me this time Lord God I am not allowing myself to be walked all over again. At four in the morning the phone rang. It was him, he was asking me to forgive him, which of course I am right here with all of the forgiveness and love for my sister as well.
Nobody would believe me when I tell them this because I am sure it is the only time my poor brother had ever asked anyone to forgive him for anything at all.
Ah...........the long hard night of the one that has been wronged. It seems so unfair and it is. There is only one other person that can understand it from the inside out and thats Jesus.
He told me, "Hold on tight its going to be some rough choppy waters."

[Lvanett]

hornblower, have you tried Grisoft AVG anti-virus yet? They have a FREE version and you can download the software for free online. That is the only program I use and they are among the best out there. They do have pay versions, but I only use the free one and haven't had any problems.

You can get it at:
http://free.grisoft.com/freeweb.php/doc/2/

Hope this helps! :)

[Carmen]

I use Grisoft too, it works well for me. Also use Zone Alarm Pro just to be sure, costs 40 bucks a year, though. Both have regular updates.