Trust Issues

[abbey]

well, hi folks! Ive read thru a few of the posts today and am completely unfit to give any advice whatsoever. But one that touched me so was scooters difficulties trusting, reaching out to, even wanting anything to do with God. I do not know her/his? story, but as I continue to sort out my own probs---I understand the despair. The confusion and etc. I see others whose walk with Christ has not been so damaged as ours---and Im a tad envious that they are A_OK with God. Yet we must continue to struggle and reach--to try to heal from the damage. Ive always been a complex person, I thought when I was born-again, that life would be simpler---i was wrong.

I have been posting on a HUGE Christian forum and am having tons of difficulty trusting. The people most interested in my story are the ex-satanists and ex-witches. Its obvious to me that these types are really into POWER. Gods power, satans power, their own power that came from their supernatural experiences. My cult was obsessed with satan and God and power and...

I just want a simple peace. Im so tired of deliverance and warfare. Prophets and Demons. Where is the still waters and green pastures? Sigh.

Anyhow, my insurance does cover some Christian counseling. Im going today. She is into Spiritual warfare. SIGH AGAIN. But with the insurance I am limited to who THEY send me to. I cant just choose.

I got some meds---xanax. The exact drugs the cult said would bring back 7 spirits more wicked than the first. I do have addictive tendencies---gots 2 b careful. But the result of the drug is that Im not so obsessed with the cult. I was waking up wondering when Gods big Ax is gonna fall and throw me into Hell. Shaking about all the cults prophecies and such.

What I hold onto is that when I left my Husband and screwed up corinth 7, when I leveled with God, when I explained myself honestly, He did forgive me. I AM --as we all are--a recipient of Gods Mercy. SO scooter, HE DOES understand us. Our limitedness, our confusion, our humaness. Im certain He understands where you are. May you heal. Either step by step, or in one great swoop. He does still do miracles. Im posistive.

I hope my new counselor is cool---but my trust is almost gone.

Have a nice one guys. Glad you are here!

[SpinningHead]

Hi Abbey,

(((((Abbey)))))))

Know that if this counselor isn't a right fit for you, you can give yourself permission to find a different counselor that does meet your needs. You're not going to counseling to conform to some "warfare" scenario or submit to "cures" that you know doesn't apply to you. You're going to counseling to help sort out your experiences, come to terms with them and be encouraged about the path you want to be on. There is plenty of room for mistakes and grace. Do not feel that you owe this counselor anything if and when you feel it isn't working out.

You don't have to know everything right away...but do be aware enough to know when you do or don't feel safe with a counselor and give yourself permission to speak up and leave if necessary.

OK?????

((((Abbey))))

[abbey]

OK, spinninghead!

If she starts yapping about territorial spirits, generational curses, renouncing every thing and its brother, breaking soul ties and all that other garbage---im moving on.

My cult leader ---I said to him, "hey, im in trememdous pain regarding my seperation from my son." his response---"RENONCE PAIN"

"Oh yeah pal, that worked wonders. Im all better now"

Oops, now I have to renounce the spirit of sarcasm lol

[abbey]

I received via snail mail a letter from the cult. I asked them to send a few things that I left there. Anyhow, one thing they said over and over was that my 13-year old son was an IDOL. They said that I was to love Christ first, and that my son was idolatrous--they also said that I was like Jacob---wrestling with God. But it was wrestling between following the Lord and raising my son. Over and over they said this stuff.

SO whats the first thing they say in the letter?

"Oh, I bet you hugged your son so much and are so happy to see him."

SIK SIK SIK!

My beautiful child, layed his head on my shoulder over and over, just like he was 3 when I arrived back home. He missed muma badly. I am deeply saddened by my decsion to leave my husband and then my little one was in the middle. But I TRYED REPEATEDLY to bring the family back together before i left. His dad wouldnt have it. ANyhow...

SIK PUPS THOSE CULT FOLKS

[Jerry]

well, hi folks! Ive read thru a few of the posts today and am completely unfit to give any advice whatsoever.
Dear Abby,,,,
That is so NOT true !!!! I read the whole post.....I'll wager that the counselor will learn a lot from you ,,,,if not,,,,that's the counselors loss ;)
Love Jerry

[SpinningHead]

I received via snail mail a letter from the cult.


Abbey,

Have you ever read one of those bad-joke forwards?? and you roll your eyes, delete it and never think about it again??

Their correspondence to you is the equivalent of a bad-joke forward e-mail. I know it's hard, but honey, delete any current correspondence and try not to think about it again. They are SOOOOOOOOO not worth your time!!!!

And you know what???? Give your son a great big HUG from Spinninghead! He must be thrilled to have you home!

[peanut]

Dear Abbey,

Ahhhh Trust Issues....one of the hardest parts of recovery! Not knowing who, when, how or even where.....it's so frightening. What I am learning, day by day, is that this is part of the process and who knows, maybe I will never again trust the way I once did......AND....that may not be a bad thing....for me anyway.

I am so happy for you that you made the decision to get out and get back to your son. Although what you are going through now is hard, you and your son need each other so desperately. Please know that my prayers have been and are with you and your son, especially today as you see a new counselor.

I wanted today to offer you hope. My journey of recovery has been "official" for just less than a year and just lately, I am feeling less and less need to agonize over what was or what I thought it was, really leave that STUFF behind. It has been and continues to be a rollercoaster but the hills and valleys don't seem quite as extreme. So, it DOES get better...........

Please give yourself & your son a hug today. Know that you are a child of God and he loves you.

Peace,
Peanut

[Jerry]

My cult leader ---I said to him, "hey, im in trememdous pain regarding my seperation from my son." his response---"RENONCE PAIN"



I got hit directly in the "Nads" by a piece of lumber that was ejected from a "Table Saw" :eek: I tried to "Renonce the Pain",,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,doesn't work ;)
Love Jerry

[SpinningHead]

I got hit directly in the "Nads" by a piece of lumber that was ejected from a "Table Saw" :eek: I tried to "Renonce the Pain",,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,doesn't work ;)
Love Jerry

HA!

[Scooter]

:cool: HA HA HA! Jerry, you have such a way with words! :p

I got hit directly in the "Nads" by a piece of lumber that was ejected from a "Table Saw" :eek: I tried to "Renonce the Pain",,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,doesn't work ;)
Love Jerry

[Anna Marta]

What has messed with my head the most is that these controllers always LOOK and TALK so nice and ACT as if they honestly care. I have wanted to believe that they are all the things they portray...:( :( :(

I am one of the ones who has kept my trust in God, but question people who claim charismatic gifts - the counterfeits are just sooo darn good. :confused:

Anyone who would suggest I renounce something factual like pain or grief would get my glass of water in their face! :mad:

Good luck with this counselor abbey, but if he/she starts talking nonsense - give yourself permission to get out of there - fast!

God we can trust - the others are guilty until proven innocent, right? :eek:
Love
Anna Marta

[outcast]

OK, spinninghead!

If she starts yapping about territorial spirits, generational curses, renouncing every thing and its brother, breaking soul ties and all that other garbage---im moving on.

My cult leader ---I said to him, "hey, im in trememdous pain regarding my seperation from my son." his response---"RENONCE PAIN"

"Oh yeah pal, that worked wonders. Im all better now"

Oops, now I have to renounce the spirit of sarcasm lol


Abs, I can totally identify with you on this one. The only counselor in this area that deals with SA specifically is into the same stuff - spiritual warfare. My old cult church was into all the stuff you mention above. Small world - eh? We are definitely limited with who we can go to for help. I haven't gone to this one and don't think I will b/c I don't want anything to do with that stuff anymore. I hope your experience was better. :)