On being invisible...

[Willow]

I really get creeped out and triggered when I am ignored, overlooked or told to shush. I wonder what that's all about? It's as though my existence is minimalized when I'm not acknowledged or told to shush like a toddler. I wanna tell the person who shushed me to cram it up where the sun don't shine. Being ignored or overlooked is another thing that is less direct and still gets to me. It's not like you can say to someone... HEY I SAID THAT FIRST! or LOOK AT ME... I EXIST! All I can do in those cases is absorb the message that I don't exist.

Anyway... my rant of the night.

[ex-shep]

I ceratainly would feel that way if were treated thusly. What brought you to that state of mind? Does not sound encouraging.

[Jerry]

Nothing wrong with that Willow,,,,,,,it's a good rant :D
Love Jerry

[Willow]

Thanks exshep and Jerry (hugs)

I guess what triggered me first was the way I am treated at work by one of the IT people. He makes me feel like I talk too much or do not have valid ideas. He even put his finger to his lips to shush me as though I was a toddler. Maybe my behavior is like a toddler... I dunno... it really infuriated me though and made me hypersensitive in every way to feeling invisible. I guess that's why I talked here... I was feeling invisible. Just having you guys see me and reply made me feel less invisible... thanks. From what was being reflected to me at work by this person... I have a long way to go before I am socially adept.

[Voyager]

Willow,

I believe that when he put his finger to his lips to shush you, he was trying to manipulate you. Definately a form of humiliation. I remember reading a book called "Don't Be Manipulated" that gave several strategies on how to counter something like this. One of them was to use a form of exaggeration. They said to exaggerate the action that the person used on you. For example, in this instance maybe you could start laughing, put your finger to your lips, and say "Shush, shush little boy!" He would see then how silly his actions look to you, and realize that they won't work to manipulate you. If he can act like your momma, you can act like his too.

Just a thought.

:cool:

[ex-shep]

Thanks for the enlightenment. I do not take to that type of treatment well either.

[Willow]

Good thoughts Voyager... I'll see if I can do that next time. It's a constant behavior from this particular person. I have another invisible post going in up farther... Sure do appreciate the support from you guys.

HUGS
Amy