Do you ever get "stuck"?

[Voyager]

Do any of you ever get "stuck" on things like I do? I have researched a lot of personality types and traits, and one of them that I can relate to is getting stuck on things. I can get focused on something for days or even weeks and not let go of it.

I wonder if this personality trait is what causes people not to be able to "move on" from things as quickly as others? For me, this trait has been a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, it has caused me to become very successful in my businesses. I get determined about something and I stay with it to completion. If something is broke, I can work for hours or days on end and even go without sleep until I come up with a solution. However, this also causes me to neglect other things that need attention simultaneously.

On the other hand, "getting stuck" can lead to emotional grief and even depression when you get "stuck" on something negative - such as spiritual abuse. I often wonder if this personality trait has caused me to grieve over my losses at a much deeper level than most people do. This may be a stretch, because I'm sure spiritual abuse causes grief for almost everyone involved in it. But could it be that some of us "get stuck' in this grieving process, while others are able to "move on"?

I wouldn't hesitate to guess that there are many of us on this forum that share the same personality trait of "getting stuck". Like I said, this can be an asset and a deficit at the same time. I believe that when I get "stuck", I end up neglecting things that need my attention, causing me to become disorganized and lacking direction... especially when what I am focusing on is negative.

Lately I've been focusing on a situation in the band that I started. I am contemplating leaving it after four years and moving on to a different project. I got so stuck on this issue yesterday that I couldn't accomplish anything else! It was like I had to come to a conclusion on it before my mind could rest. It got so bad late in the day that I started getting down about it. So today I finally decided to just leave the band after September just so I could put the issue to rest. I probably actually need to move on, because our crowds are getting smaller and smaller, but I could have also spread the decision over a few weeks if I didn't feel the need to resolve it immediately so I could put the issue to rest.

Can any of you relate to this? Do you deal with similar isssues? If so, please feel free to elaborate.

:cool:

[Willow]

I get stuck on things too. I call it obsession. It can make a person really productive... or nonproductive. Depending on what the obsession is. I mean... I can obsess over the internet and it could make me less productive at work. Or... I could obsess over a job or a problem at work and come up with a fantastic solution. My challenge isn't so much to change the fact that I obsess... but to control it in whatever way I can.

[Voyager]

I didn't think I was alone Willow.

:D

[Willow]

Indeed no! It's a challenge to keep the obsessions on things that will help me grow rather than undermine me.

What obsessions are you dealing with lately?

[Sheep]

Voyager,

Sure I can relate to this! Like Willow, I call it obsession too. For me it is the obsessive thinking. I had a situation just last night while my husband and I were playing a card game. He noticed what I was doing and for the first time in our 19 yrs. of marriage said something about it in a kind way! Then he made a recommendation to think about something else. It was almost as if someone had thrown a pebble into the gerbil wheel I was running on and made it stop instantly and I got off! It is the negative thinking that has "tripped me up" in the past but I so appreciate that there is also a positive or productive side to this personality trait also (or maybe a character defect which is really just one of my character traits out of balance).

Just my own thoughts...

Sheep

[Janice]

yep...I'm "stuck" on my cancer.

Think I have it down to thinking about it 23/7 instead of 24/7

[Pinkie Pie]

Yes I get stuck on incidents that happen in interactions between me and others from my church. I realized just as I was typing this, that I don't do that with any other relationship in my life - only pertaining to church.

I guess it must be because I am still trying to process the spiritual abuse that happened to me at the old church, and so whenever anything triggers me, I obsess about it for days at a time. The same kind of incident can happen between me and a co-worker, or even between me and a member of my rather dysfunctional family, but I just move on without batting an eye. (Unless of course it is some unusual and upsetting incident, but I'm talking about normal everyday interactions that in the context of church, seem very threatening.)

Like right now, I am "stuck" on the fact that I wasn't invited to the wedding of our pastor's daughter, but others in the church were. Now typing that and reading that, it seems like an insignificant concern, but in the context of my spiritually abusive experiences, I feel like I have been completely rejected and dismissed and that no one there really loves me. So I have been stuck on it for weeks.

And yet, if someone in my own family doesn't invite me to their wedding (this actually happened a few years ago when my sister remarried) I may be a little hurt but I just let it go and no hard feelings.

Or if someone at church is acting a little pushy with me, I worry about it for days if I stand up to them, but if someone at my job is acting pushy with me, I just push back and get on with it. It's like being 2 different people....

Eventually I either work these things out (and/or post them here for feedback!) or get so tired of thinking about it that I just let it go.

Hmmm... added thought....I just realized that the reason I get stuck on things that happen at church, is because I am not fully persuaded that I am loved and accepted, and that it is "safe" there. Again, because of past experiences at the spiritually abusive church.

[hornblower]

I even have thoughts i cant stop thinking. What personality trait is it voager?
Oh gosh its so hot here!!!!!!! I cant stop thinking about that and the pain in my back.
Ive just noticed this thought pattern thing. I dont think I used to have that problem and I think I spend too much time alone. Could this be too?
My councelor a long time ago said that I have like a personality trait that only less than 1% of the population has. No wonder i dont feel like I fit in huh?

[saramarie]

:o I am glad to hear that I am not alone, but in good company:p

I am this way too! I get in cycles of worry. If it isn't one thing it's another and I always think that I just have to figure it out and get the answers to feel better and live. But that never happens. Another muddle always comes to replace the worry. Thanks for asking this question....I'm glad to have read all the responses. I liked the visual about the gerbil and the wheel!!!!! That's SO how it feels!!!!

Sara

[Doug64]

Hi Saramarie:
Welcome to the forum.

What is a homelife engineer?

Doug

[Satscout]

Hi Saramarie:
Welcome to the forum.

What is a homelife engineer?

Doug
LOL... sounds like a mother to me. :D I had a friend who once referred to his mother as a "domestic goddess" - precisely because she was NOT the Martha Stewart type, but always managed to make their home a warm and welcoming place.

[outcast]

I concur. :)