Helping others

[Willow]

I recently offered to help someone who has a bad back and needs to get 12 horses ready for sale. I asked others if they would like to help... but everyone had a reason not to. It looks like not only am I the only one helping and it's gonna be a long arduous day... It's also a 2 hour trip to where she lives. All the others live where she does.... the ones that can't help.

Help! I don't want to do this anymore! I thought it would be a fun way to rally the horse group together. Now it's all squarely on my shoulders... she can't lift a finger to help me. Her back is in bad shape. She really does need help. I guess I'll just bite the bullet and drive down on Sunday. Maybe I"ll commit to doing 3 horses instead of 12.

Any advice?

[ex-shep]

I had a friend in college who was always wont to quote Mark Twain, "If in doubt, tell the truth". Like it's called Boundaries, Man. I usually turn my nose up at hippie talk, but could not resist. You get the point.

[Willow]

I had a friend in college who was always wont to quote Mark Twain, "If in doubt, tell the truth". Like it's called Boundaries, Man. I usually turn my nose up at hippie talk, but could not resist. You get the point.


LOL... thanks ex-shep. I'd back out if my conscience would let me.

[Janice]

I agree with shep. Just be honest

[hornblower]

I would go ahead and help. Your word is your word. Often I get in these types of things. Im learning to say now but then I DO have a bad back. I .........now........dont help people that dont help me.........but I dont think that is a very Christ like attitude. The way I used to be when I first knew Jesus the before
SA I helped anyone and everyone with anything i could do and it was all so much joy! It really was.

The worse it was the dirtier the more I got out of it. My son is now like this. Hes been asking me Mom what is this feeling that when I go do these things for people it feels like flying..........
I used to do my work for the Lord not people. It helps. Look at it this way they will miss out on being a blessing and help to someone that really needs it where as you on the other hand are going way out of your way to do it for her. God go wityh you Willow. I know its hard but you are a kind person and thats a good thing!

[Hope 98]

It sounds like a very big job. Maybe you could do what you can do. Let her know that you thought you'd get others involved and that you don't think you can handle it all by yourself. Ask her what's most important, if you can't do everything.

Maybe that's a fair compromise between conscience and boundaries.

just a thought

[Willow]

I think that's what I'll do... get up extra early on sunday... drive down there and do what I can do before noon. Then I can maybe bring her some lunch and head back home to take care of my horse in the evening.

Sure do appreciate you all helping me on this. Sometimes I really do get a lot of joy from giving. Other times something happens to make me not want to do it anymore. This is one of those latter situations that I just gotta plow through and hope I can make a better decision in the future about my level of energy and what I can commit to.

Ya'll are great... thanks!

[Illuminated]

Hey Willow!

Something similiar just happened to me this weekend. I got a phone call on Thursday from my sister, who is estranged from my parents and most of the rest of the family. She was in town and was calling to tell us that. She is rather weird and I think she probably has mental problems.

I suggested we get together for 6 hours on Saturday before she had to leave. Then, realising what I had done and that it would probably be very hard on me to talk to her for SIX hours, I started to feel very uneasy about meeting her. I really struggled because I wanted to call her back and say that 'something had come up' and I couldn't pick her up and see her.

Well, I managed to 'keep my committment' to her and go pick her up. We had a wonderful time together! And, I might be able to help her get a jewelry selling business going here in town. Maybe eventually she can reconcile with the rest of the family here ....

So, maybe something really good will come from you taking the trouble to keep your committment to the horse lady. :)

[Doug64]

Hi Willow:

Main thing is to not knock yourself out physically.
It is good to help others.

Here are two examples of it not turning out well.

I used to play music with these 3 guys a few times a year. One of them came by the house one eveing and said he had someplace to play and would like to rent my amplifier for the evening. For $5. So I said okay.
Never saw him or the amp again.

Our neighbors recently took in a coworker of the husband who was going through a divorce. When it came time for their vacation three weeks ago, he siad he would feed the pets and keep an eye on things. They talked on the phone a couple of times and everything seemed to be fine.

When they got home though, the pets (3 dogs, 2 cats, 5 baby kittens) had strewn trash all over the house - he had left a note stating he was leaving 3 days before - trying to find food and water. They had relieved themselves on the carpet, one kitten was dead, the mamma cat was skin and bones, he had stolen all their CD's and DVD's, and used her credit card to purchase a bus ticket.

That good samaritan act didn't turn out to well. I think a person has to use their best judgement in each and every case. I've given a dollar or two to some person on the street a time or two and always wondered if they spent it on booze.

I think helping this lady with her horses is a fine act. Just don't take on more than you can handle. And shame on those who live in the area and are too busy.

Doug

[Willow]

Thanks Doug... that's some good red-flag material for me. I won't go in too deep. Just one morning of work.

[Jerry]

I recently offered to help someone who has a bad back and needs to get 12 horses ready for sale. I asked others if they would like to help... but everyone had a reason not to. It looks like not only am I the only one helping and it's gonna be a long arduous day... It's also a 2 hour trip to where she lives. All the others live where she does.... the ones that can't help.

Help! I don't want to do this anymore! I thought it would be a fun way to rally the horse group together. Now it's all squarely on my shoulders... she can't lift a finger to help me. Her back is in bad shape. She really does need help. I guess I'll just bite the bullet and drive down on Sunday. Maybe I"ll commit to doing 3 horses instead of 12.

Any advice?
Dear Amy,,,,,
I have a hunch your "Biker" friends would help ;) and I bet it would be a real "Hoot" ........I don't know one Biker that isn't willing to go on a "Sunday Run" to help someone.... :D
Love Jerry

[Willow]

That's a great idea Jerry... I don't have the boldness to ask them.
I did think about it for an instant!

[Jerry]

Do it Amy,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,it will be a blessing to all :D
Love Jerry

[peanut]

Amy,

I must confess that when I read your post originally, the thought came to mind to ask your biker friends. So I will join with Jerry.......I bet they would love the experience & you would enjoy having them with you. Good Luck......sometimes, folks are just hoping they will be asked!

Love,
Mimi

[Janice]

aww..go ahead amy...

ASK 'EM!

[butterfly]

Maybe you could say what you are doing for the woman and if anybody would like to help to let you know .

That way they will have the abilty to choose if they want to and there won"t be alot of pressure on you.
shirley

[Willow]

Good idea... I just hate to ask for stuff... I guess it's one of the things I need to learn to do.