Florence
10-28-2004, 02:40 PM
It seems that there are some people who are very hyper-sensitive and take everything so personally that they are constantly on the defensive and, instead of handling things maturely, they resort to name calling and threatening to take their toys and go home. As a teacher, we learned that this type of behavior is mostly due to the child's desire to get attention.
Often, the best course of action is to ignore the behavior. This sends the message that they are not getting what they want through this method and they need to find a different method to get they attention they desire.
It's kind of like when a child throws a tantrum - instead of acting horrified and giving them what they want, a better course of action would be to either walk away and ignore them, or laugh at them and say, "Wow, you sure look silly acting like that. Hey, can't you scream any louder? Come on! You can do better than that! Try it again but this time take a bigger breath!" When I did this with my children, they learned very quickly that tantrums didn't get them the result they wanted and they had to try something that would actually work - like better behavior.
Or how about when your kid threatens to run away? My parents offered to help me pack when I did that. Sure put my fire out in a hurry.
So, next time someone threatens to leave the forum because they are throwing a tantrum and not getting their way, I would encourage everyone else to reply and say, "Okay, go ahead. Do what you gotta do."
If someone shows a pattern of hyper-sensitivity and name calling, just don't respond to it. Ignore it. Then, they just might realize that in order to get the attention they want, they'll have to use a better method.
Just a thought . . .
Florence
Often, the best course of action is to ignore the behavior. This sends the message that they are not getting what they want through this method and they need to find a different method to get they attention they desire.
It's kind of like when a child throws a tantrum - instead of acting horrified and giving them what they want, a better course of action would be to either walk away and ignore them, or laugh at them and say, "Wow, you sure look silly acting like that. Hey, can't you scream any louder? Come on! You can do better than that! Try it again but this time take a bigger breath!" When I did this with my children, they learned very quickly that tantrums didn't get them the result they wanted and they had to try something that would actually work - like better behavior.
Or how about when your kid threatens to run away? My parents offered to help me pack when I did that. Sure put my fire out in a hurry.
So, next time someone threatens to leave the forum because they are throwing a tantrum and not getting their way, I would encourage everyone else to reply and say, "Okay, go ahead. Do what you gotta do."
If someone shows a pattern of hyper-sensitivity and name calling, just don't respond to it. Ignore it. Then, they just might realize that in order to get the attention they want, they'll have to use a better method.
Just a thought . . .
Florence