Voyager
10-28-2004, 10:19 AM
Since a few members of this forum have decided to label me an "abuser", I felt obligated to the rest of you to tell you a little about myself.
My name is John and I live in Illinois. I am 41 years old, married to my first wife, with two daughters. I have been married to my wife for 16 years now, and I have never once gone out on her, called her a name, or hit her. My two daughters are ages nine and five. I have never once called them a name, and I do not even spank them. My wife doesn't work, which gives her the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom. When the kids are at school she goes out and enjoys herself. We don't have any close family members to speak of. We are pretty much an island to ourself ever since we left our former abusive church in 1998. It has been an uphill battle since then, but we are doing the best we can.
I have owned my own business since 1988. At times it has had up to 15 employees. Each of my employees is paid very well, with the top one making $65k a year. They all get two weeks paid vacation each year. I have never called any of them a name, or even yelled at them. If they ever need correction, I take them aside privately. First I remind them of how much of an asset they are to my business, and I praise them for the good they have done. Then I tell them what needs to be corrected or done differently. I learned how to do this by paying thousands of dollars to a management consulting firm. It seems to keep my employees very happy and productive.
I have never been in church leadership, but I did teach an adult Sunday School of 400 adults at my former church on a regular basis. I attended that church for 12 years, and I left because the leadership turned abusive. I knew how to spot the abuse because of the management courses I had taken for my business. At the time I left, no one else followed me. I was blacklisted by the pastor, and had the whole church turned against me. That was in 1998. Since that time, over 350 people have escaped the church, and the pastor has been terminated due to the abuse. The elders are now preaching and teaching out of the book "The Subtle Power Of Spiritual Abuse" that I mailed to them shortly after I escaped in 1998.
I rest my case. I am not an abuser. I am against abuse. I am not writing this to try to convince my accusers, because they have obviously made up their minds against me. I am writing this for the sake of my friends here whom I have enjoyed fellowshipping with for five years now. You deserve to know who I am. I believe that you know I am not an abuser, but since I have been labelled one, I felt the need to defend myself and set the record straight. If for no other reason, it's so that the newcomers do not believe a lie about me.
I have put the two members who have launched these unfounded accusations against me on ignore so that I won't get drug into defending myself against their unfounded smear campaign again. If they don't stop this nonsense, I would suggest that you do the same.
:cool:
My name is John and I live in Illinois. I am 41 years old, married to my first wife, with two daughters. I have been married to my wife for 16 years now, and I have never once gone out on her, called her a name, or hit her. My two daughters are ages nine and five. I have never once called them a name, and I do not even spank them. My wife doesn't work, which gives her the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom. When the kids are at school she goes out and enjoys herself. We don't have any close family members to speak of. We are pretty much an island to ourself ever since we left our former abusive church in 1998. It has been an uphill battle since then, but we are doing the best we can.
I have owned my own business since 1988. At times it has had up to 15 employees. Each of my employees is paid very well, with the top one making $65k a year. They all get two weeks paid vacation each year. I have never called any of them a name, or even yelled at them. If they ever need correction, I take them aside privately. First I remind them of how much of an asset they are to my business, and I praise them for the good they have done. Then I tell them what needs to be corrected or done differently. I learned how to do this by paying thousands of dollars to a management consulting firm. It seems to keep my employees very happy and productive.
I have never been in church leadership, but I did teach an adult Sunday School of 400 adults at my former church on a regular basis. I attended that church for 12 years, and I left because the leadership turned abusive. I knew how to spot the abuse because of the management courses I had taken for my business. At the time I left, no one else followed me. I was blacklisted by the pastor, and had the whole church turned against me. That was in 1998. Since that time, over 350 people have escaped the church, and the pastor has been terminated due to the abuse. The elders are now preaching and teaching out of the book "The Subtle Power Of Spiritual Abuse" that I mailed to them shortly after I escaped in 1998.
I rest my case. I am not an abuser. I am against abuse. I am not writing this to try to convince my accusers, because they have obviously made up their minds against me. I am writing this for the sake of my friends here whom I have enjoyed fellowshipping with for five years now. You deserve to know who I am. I believe that you know I am not an abuser, but since I have been labelled one, I felt the need to defend myself and set the record straight. If for no other reason, it's so that the newcomers do not believe a lie about me.
I have put the two members who have launched these unfounded accusations against me on ignore so that I won't get drug into defending myself against their unfounded smear campaign again. If they don't stop this nonsense, I would suggest that you do the same.
:cool: