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Dottiejane3012
05-22-2006, 08:43 AM
Hi All,
I'm new here and this is my first post so I might not be in the right place. I'm really not sure if what we experienced is spiritual abuse or not. We have belonged to this church for 24 years taught Sunday School attended 4 times a week for most of those years it was so important to be there every time the doors were opened of course Hebrews 10:25 was quoted quite often. Somewhere in the meantime we lost our children. We had 3 young sons in 1982 when we first started going to this church and then from 1988 to 1997 I had 5 more sons and then two daughters. My last son was stillborn in 1994 and it was very hard dealing with depression and trying to homeschool the other children so I put them all in school. My older sons at that time were teenagers 17 and 14 year old twins and I didn't even notice they got into drugs. I knew they quit wanting to go to church and they seemed to want to spend more and more time with their friends. My husband is an adult child of an alcholic and he tries to avoid any and all conflict. My oldest son 28 is a bi-polar alcholic who has lost paternal rights to his son. The most tragic thing I've ever lived through was in 2001 my 20 year old son who was trying to stop using meth was hit by a car and died. My husband doesn't like for me to say that my son who died was using drugs but why hide the truth. The other twin seems to be doing good but I believe he smokes pot and I know he smokes cigarettes. My 17 & 16 year old smoke cigarettes and pot and even my 14 year old was caught trying to buy pot at church and this is why we were told that our children were not allowed to come to church without an adult to sit with them at all times. For some reason I thought all the years that we had abandonned our children to do the work of God that somehow God would protect them. I keep telling myself the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing and expect a different outcome. That is why we have stopped going to our church of 24 years and have visited a few churches and one little church seems to be a good fit for our family but we are still hurting and a bit gun shy so have not done anything but visited. I know it's more than church and I realize that it's a relationship with our Lord who is more wonderful than words can express. I pray this all makes sense and I haven't rambled on.

Scooter
05-22-2006, 08:52 AM
Welcome, Dottiejane3012! I'm glad you're here. I'm still pretty new myself, so we can learn together. :)

It sounds like you have a ton of stuff on your mind right now. I'm truly sorry for the loss of your children and for the pain caused by the use of drugs. I'm praying for you right now.

One more thing...church four times a week, going every time the doors are open, and quoting of Hebrews 10:25....I so understand all of that.

yeshua'smags
05-22-2006, 09:02 AM
You are not rambling.

Any post that starts with, "I'm not really sure if what we experienced was spiritual abuse or not.", usually means you have. Finding out what spiritul abuse was was very freeing for me, I hope it will be for you too. It sounds like you need a little freedom!;) I'm glad you found us.

I'm so sorry about the loss of your children, I do no want to imagine what that pain must be like.:(

Next time someone quotes Hebrews to you, remind them that it doesn't say anything about where you are supposed to meet, or how many times. It just says we are supposed to encourage eachother. We are doing that right now!:D ;)

I will be praying for your kids! I've worked with teenagers, so I can imagine how amazingly difficult this is!

Keep talkin to us, we'll listen!;) :)

SpinningHead
05-22-2006, 09:17 AM
Oh, DottieJane,

How awful for you!

Part of the abuse you endured as I see it from your post was that in your family's time of need...that church abandoned you! :(

You poor dear! You are welcome here!!!

Voyager
05-22-2006, 09:32 AM
I, too, am an adult child of an alcoholic. It's almost impossible not to pass the dysfunction on from generation to generation. As hard as I try not too, some of it still gets passed on. One of the traits of this inheritance is called "codependency". It comes from people trying to pick up the slack from the irresponsible alcoholic. The codependency causes a lot of the dysfunction in the family.

You did the best you could for your kids, and you tried to raise them right. The choices they make as adults/young adults are beyond your ability to control. Just as you, your husband, and I have tried to live out our lives the best we can - your kids can do the same. If they don't, you are not responsible.

Okay, now back to the church. It does sound like it was a spiritually abusive church. Unfortunately, dysfunctional churches draw people from dysfunctional familes because it seems "normal" to them. At the time I joined my former church, it seemed like the best decision I ever made. I got away from drinking and drugs, opened a successful business, and married a great woman. Then after 12 years I realized something was very wrong and I escaped. Looking back, I can see clearly that the church was a cult. But at the time I thought I was 200% in "God's perfect will".

I would encourage you to find some kind of support group such as Alanon. They are a support group for people in the families of alcoholics - even second and third generation. You will need some kind of support to be able to cope with the problems your kids are facing. This forum is great, but it will mainly help you with spiritual abuse issues.

Hope this helps.

:cool:

jane
05-22-2006, 05:54 PM
wow. yeah I would say that's spiritual abuse.

welcome and I hope you find the healing here that you seek.

jane

butterfly
05-22-2006, 06:01 PM
Welcome DottieJane,
You sure have had alot of sadness in your life time.
I am glad you joined. butterfly shirely

Willow
05-22-2006, 06:07 PM
Hi DottieJane,

All too often churches and ministries demand that you abandon your family in the name of the Lord. These demands and manipulations are indeed abusive and controlling. They manipulate good hearted people who want God to be pleased with them into doing the will of some manipulative jerk who claims to know what God is saying.

As Voyager said though... you must not blame yourself. You can take responsibility if a child confronts you... but you must not accept blame. Two different things. I hope what I'm saying makes sense. I was a religious work addict and thankfully did not have children. However... I neglected myself and my parents for many years... expecting God/church to take care of me and them in return. It just doesn't work that way. I ended up used and abused and abandoned when I hit burnout. My faithful parents were there for me the whole way through and at the end when I finally woke up. Mom said something about finally having her daughter back. Unfortunately, that only lasted a few years as she died last January. But that's a whole nuther story.

At any rate... glad you are here :)
Wllow aka Amy

Dottiejane3012
05-23-2006, 06:27 AM
Thank you for all the encouraging and accepting words I did need to hear that. This is a neat forum but with family, work and school not much time to check in with all but will have more time without so much church.

Jerry
05-23-2006, 07:19 AM
Thank you for all the encouraging and accepting words I did need to hear that. This is a neat forum but with family, work and school not much time to check in with all but will have more time without so much church.

Dear Dottie,,,,
Some of us have more time to post than others,,,theres no score keepers here.Post as you can when ya darn well feel like it :D Unlike your Church this board is open 24/7 :eek: so we are all in and out when we get a minute ;)
WELCOME
Love Jerry

little lamb
05-24-2006, 10:56 AM
Welcome!

Ouch! It's heartbreaking when the church sucks all the time/ life out of you, robbing you of your children and your children of you in the name of God's will and then when the results start to show up, they aren't there to help, don't take some responsibility and (in most cases it seems) see you as the problem.

Anyway, we love you and commiserate with you. (I have 11 children myself -8 boys- and the church was always pressuring us to be involved at the church at the expense of the children)

Happy you found us.