Dottiejane3012
05-22-2006, 08:43 AM
Hi All,
I'm new here and this is my first post so I might not be in the right place. I'm really not sure if what we experienced is spiritual abuse or not. We have belonged to this church for 24 years taught Sunday School attended 4 times a week for most of those years it was so important to be there every time the doors were opened of course Hebrews 10:25 was quoted quite often. Somewhere in the meantime we lost our children. We had 3 young sons in 1982 when we first started going to this church and then from 1988 to 1997 I had 5 more sons and then two daughters. My last son was stillborn in 1994 and it was very hard dealing with depression and trying to homeschool the other children so I put them all in school. My older sons at that time were teenagers 17 and 14 year old twins and I didn't even notice they got into drugs. I knew they quit wanting to go to church and they seemed to want to spend more and more time with their friends. My husband is an adult child of an alcholic and he tries to avoid any and all conflict. My oldest son 28 is a bi-polar alcholic who has lost paternal rights to his son. The most tragic thing I've ever lived through was in 2001 my 20 year old son who was trying to stop using meth was hit by a car and died. My husband doesn't like for me to say that my son who died was using drugs but why hide the truth. The other twin seems to be doing good but I believe he smokes pot and I know he smokes cigarettes. My 17 & 16 year old smoke cigarettes and pot and even my 14 year old was caught trying to buy pot at church and this is why we were told that our children were not allowed to come to church without an adult to sit with them at all times. For some reason I thought all the years that we had abandonned our children to do the work of God that somehow God would protect them. I keep telling myself the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing and expect a different outcome. That is why we have stopped going to our church of 24 years and have visited a few churches and one little church seems to be a good fit for our family but we are still hurting and a bit gun shy so have not done anything but visited. I know it's more than church and I realize that it's a relationship with our Lord who is more wonderful than words can express. I pray this all makes sense and I haven't rambled on.
I'm new here and this is my first post so I might not be in the right place. I'm really not sure if what we experienced is spiritual abuse or not. We have belonged to this church for 24 years taught Sunday School attended 4 times a week for most of those years it was so important to be there every time the doors were opened of course Hebrews 10:25 was quoted quite often. Somewhere in the meantime we lost our children. We had 3 young sons in 1982 when we first started going to this church and then from 1988 to 1997 I had 5 more sons and then two daughters. My last son was stillborn in 1994 and it was very hard dealing with depression and trying to homeschool the other children so I put them all in school. My older sons at that time were teenagers 17 and 14 year old twins and I didn't even notice they got into drugs. I knew they quit wanting to go to church and they seemed to want to spend more and more time with their friends. My husband is an adult child of an alcholic and he tries to avoid any and all conflict. My oldest son 28 is a bi-polar alcholic who has lost paternal rights to his son. The most tragic thing I've ever lived through was in 2001 my 20 year old son who was trying to stop using meth was hit by a car and died. My husband doesn't like for me to say that my son who died was using drugs but why hide the truth. The other twin seems to be doing good but I believe he smokes pot and I know he smokes cigarettes. My 17 & 16 year old smoke cigarettes and pot and even my 14 year old was caught trying to buy pot at church and this is why we were told that our children were not allowed to come to church without an adult to sit with them at all times. For some reason I thought all the years that we had abandonned our children to do the work of God that somehow God would protect them. I keep telling myself the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing and expect a different outcome. That is why we have stopped going to our church of 24 years and have visited a few churches and one little church seems to be a good fit for our family but we are still hurting and a bit gun shy so have not done anything but visited. I know it's more than church and I realize that it's a relationship with our Lord who is more wonderful than words can express. I pray this all makes sense and I haven't rambled on.