Needing Comfort

[Scooter]

:( :confused:

I feel like beating something in today, and I don't know why. Yesterday afternoon I got this funky feeling and didn't want to do anything, talk to anyone. I hate that. I feel bad for my husband, because I don't feel like talking or being touched or smiling. Then I get worried that I'm not feeling attracted to him at these times and want to be left alone.

I'd been reading this book and doing a workbook about God. But today, I don't want to pick it up or try to think about God. Why do things get better for a while, only to have the carpet ripped from under my feet?

I know it's probably my depression and/or hormones, but I'm starting to feel that slipping in my brain where I can't think straight and it's all just emotions.

Still, I want to crawl under the covers on this cloudy day. Being here at work I have to pretend like I'm fine...answer the phone...be cheerful to the clients...

Is there somewhere I can scream and punch a pillow?!

[peanut]

Hi Scooter!

I'm so sorry your having a tough time. Go ahead......scream......punch this pillow.....we're here for you.

Hugs
Peanut

[Reg]

:( :confused:



snip

Is there somewhere I can scream and punch a pillow?!
How about this? I heard of someone who took a tray of icecubes in the bathtub/shower and threw them as hard as they could and smashed them. :)

[Scooter]

Oh...that ice cube thing is such a good idea!

[yeshua'smags]

OOOOOhh...I like the ice cube idea too!!:D

You could always start a pillow fight with your husband...that way you get to beat on him in the name of "fun"!:D :D :D :D :D

Sounds juvenile and stupid, but it works!;) :D :cool:

[Illuminated]

Is there somewhere I can scream and punch a pillow?!
YIKES!!!!! Why did you wake me up???????? :eek: I was sleeping so peacefully and then I heard this bloodcurdling scream!!!!! :eek: My extra pillow is on the floor!!!!!:eek: Now it all makes sense.:D

[Scooter]

Ha ha! You all are bringing an honest smile to my face. It's good to have people who help you not take circumstances (or yourself) too seriously!

Sorry I woke anyone up...heh heh.

[Illuminated]

not take circumstances (or yourself) too seriously!Actually, I think your situation is serious and not to be taken lightly. I know how you feel.... the brain slipping thing.... sometimes I feel like there is two of me - the full of grace person before the spiritual abuse, and the angry, resentful person after the spiritual abuse. I am fighting for my life... trying to make sure the grace person survives.

I really admire you for being able to go to work and 'act'. I think you are doing a great job of acting. When I had fibromyalgia for 15 years, I figured I could lay in bed and be in pain, or get up and go to work and be in pain. So, my choice was to get up and go to work and be in pain, and act like I was just fine.:) That way I earned money while I was in pain, just like you are doing...

From my research on the brain, there is something to be said for pretending and acting normal. It helps the brain use the right circuits, or something like that, to enable your brain to be trained to use those 'normal' circuits .... or something like that. I don't know, I'm not an expert, just a learner.

It sounds like that is what you are doing - earning money while in pain, and acting like you are normal. I think that is really admirable, and that you are a very strong person to be able to do that.

If those clients only knew......:eek:

[Scooter]

Illuminated,

It really does feel as though there are two of me sometimes...the one who's making great progress, feeling positive, getting over the abuse, having compassion instead of anger for my former pastor...

Then there are those times. The ones when I can't be myself no matter how much I try to force it. So I force it until I'm able to be somewhere private and let it come pouring out.

Thanks for saying I'm strong. I don't feel like it. Some days it's all I can do to make it to 4:30 when I can go home, or to get up and do something productive.

I'm on anti-depressant. My PCP recommended exercising more to get my brain happyier, but there's not much time or energy to do that with a full-time job. I try to park my car a couple of blocks from work, which gives me about 1 mile to walk most days. To be honest, my PCP's advice wasn't too helpful for someone who's just recently got a handle on an eating disorder, ha ha. But she's new for me, so she doesn't know about that yet.

Anyway, thanks for the encouragement. :)

[SpinningHead]

There's nothing wrong with honoring those feelings. If you have some energy to get out, screaming sounds good to me!

Here, how about we meet at the Grand Canyon and we'll scream together in the canyon and laugh at the echoes??

Anyone care to join us?

We're screaming here!!!

[yeshua'smags]

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRR RGGGGGGGGGG

[Satscout]

I really admire you for being able to go to work and 'act'. I think you are doing a great job of acting. When I had fibromyalgia for 15 years, I figured I could lay in bed and be in pain, or get up and go to work and be in pain. So, my choice was to get up and go to work and be in pain, and act like I was just fine.:) That way I earned money while I was in pain, just like you are doing...

From my research on the brain, there is something to be said for pretending and acting normal. It helps the brain use the right circuits, or something like that, to enable your brain to be trained to use those 'normal' circuits .... or something like that. I don't know, I'm not an expert, just a learner.

Oy. I have been trying to "act like I was just fine" for a looooong time... but yeah, I know all about getting up and going to work and being in pain. Every day. Not much they can do about it, though.

Now if I can just figure out what normal is supposed to look like so I can practice acting like it. :p I don't think I know what normal IS.

Hmmmm. Maybe it's time to join that Grand Canyon screamfest. :D :rolleyes:

[Carmen]

Scream away, Scooter! I feel that way some days too. Sometimes it is even hard to concentrate enough to pray although it usually brings some relief once I have done it.

Physical movement and cardiovascular training can have a positive effect on emotions, it has on me in the past. I just started up with physiotherapy to get rid of some tension problems and it is giving me hope already. Just found a biblical counselor too which gives me another reason to hope. A psych. would do the job too.

How about loud and rebellious music? (Thinking about sth. like "We Will Rock You")Sometimes just listening to it, singing along and jumping up and down or dancing, my kids do it along with me, relieves tension.

"Buddy youre a boy make a big noise
Playin in the street gonna be a big man some day
You got mud on yo face
You big disgrace
Kickin your can all over the place

We will we will rock you
We will we will rock you"

WEEE WILLL WEEE WILLL ROCK YOU! AAAAAAAA!