hi I'm Allannajoy

[allannajoy]

Just happened across this site and saw you have a great place here. I'm a survivor of spiritual as well as other abuses but won't go into that right now. Probably just read for a while and see what's going on. Have a nice day everyone. :) Allannajoy.

[newlife]

Hi Allannajoy!

Welcome to the forum! Go ahead and make yourself at home...read and get acquainted with us, and when you feel comfortable and ready, just jump right in! I happen to think that this is a great place filled with a lot of understanding people.

Love, newlife

[Janice]

Welcome to the forum Allanajoy.

[SpinningHead]

Most glad you are here! :)

[Willow]

HI Allanajoy,

I'm glad you found us! Listen and post your experience when you feel ready.

Willow

[yeshua'smags]

Hi Allannajoy! I love your name! It is beautiful. Take your time posting, there is no pressure!;) :D

[butterfly]

:) Welcome Allannajoy,
I have been SA and went thru childhood abuse.
Please feel free to share what you feel confortable with.:)
Some share in a big chunck some in small pieces here and there.:) butterfly shirley

[Theodora]

...I've been thankful to see your recent posts. Hope that means you're feeling somewhat better.

Know that you continue to be in my thoughts and prayers---

Theodora


:) Welcome Allannajoy,
I have been SA and went thru childhood abuse.
Please feel free to share what you feel confortable with.:)
Some share in a big chunck some in small pieces here and there.:) butterfly shirley

[Theodora]

...YES..we're thankful to say that we also feel that this is a "great place." I'm sorry for the circumstances which brought you here, but grateful to count you as yet another member. May this be a place of healing for you, as it has for others as well.

Since you have 'other "issues," you might also like to visit the NACR Open Forum, since that is the place to discuss general issues related to "addictions, abuse or trauma." As a general rule of thumb, if you can identify that what you're dealing with is related to an experience in the church, this is the best place to post concerns and hope for feedback. Some of us read and post on both forums...I happen to be posting mostly on NACR right now. Some of us only read one forum, so if you include more general information here it might get missed by others on the other forum. ??? Not sure whether I've "muddied the waters" here for you, but just wanted to offer various possibilities, as well as alerting you to potential limitations.

Grace and peace to you and yours this day/night....

Theodora

--


Just happened across this site and saw you have a great place here. I'm a survivor of spiritual as well as other abuses but won't go into that right now. Probably just read for a while and see what's going on. Have a nice day everyone. :) Allannajoy.

[allannajoy]

Thank you everyone for your very wonderful warm welcome! I'd like to take more time reading but when ready will post a bit more. thanks again. AJ.

thank you yeshua'smags

[allannajoy]

...YES..we're thankful to say that we also feel that this is a "great place." I'm sorry for the circumstances which brought you here, but grateful to count you as yet another member. May this be a place of healing for you, as it has for others as well.

Since you have 'other "issues," you might also like to visit the NACR Open Forum, since that is the place to discuss general issues related to "addictions, abuse or trauma." As a general rule of thumb, if you can identify that what you're dealing with is related to an experience in the church, this is the best place to post concerns and hope for feedback. Some of us read and post on both forums...I happen to be posting mostly on NACR right now. Some of us only read one forum, so if you include more general information here it might get missed by others on the other forum. ??? Not sure whether I've "muddied the waters" here for you, but just wanted to offer various possibilities, as well as alerting you to potential limitations.

Grace and peace to you and yours this day/night....

Theodora

--

Thank you also Theodora for your kind welcome and tips. Is it compulsory to keep all spiritual and general issues separate? That might be hard to do seeing much of my abuse is based on religious if not cult type views. Not all but a fair bit.

Also a bit hesitant coming from 2 nasty consecutive church splits. I haven't attended regularly for several years now.

I see some (from the few posts I've read so far) refer to the forum as "family." What does "family" mean on this forum? Guess maybe that sounds kind of silly but I am curious. :) AJ

[Theodora]

Thank you also Theodora for your kind welcome and tips. Is it compulsory to keep all spiritual and general issues separate? That might be hard to do seeing much of my abuse is based on religious if not cult type views. Not all but a fair bit.

No...not at all. I just wanted to alert you to the fact that 1) the intention of this forum is to try to sort through the complexities resulting from specific "spiritual abuse" and 2) that if you find that abuse is somehow "triggering" other stuff, it might find a more complete "audience" if you post about that separately on NACR. I know...all "clear as mud"...and as our thoughts get "processed," it's not always easy (or perhaps) desireable to keep things separate. However, if you find yourself getting too deeply pulled into "other issues, " that might be a signal for you to see what other resources there might be available for those.

Both forums have their separate main web pages, with separate resources and links. I never know how people may have arrived at these forums, so I try to alert newcomers to those possibilities as well. (The reason there are no "reverse links" from forums to main pages is sort of complex...and I don't really understand this. However, FYI...c. 2 1/2 years ago new software was implemented for the forums and, though the main URL's still give links to the forums, as I said, there are no reverse links.


Also a bit hesitant coming from 2 nasty consecutive church splits. I haven't attended regularly for several years now.

Quite understandable. Unfortunately, this is a dilemma which many on the forum have faced. For the most part, I'm guessing that you'll only find voices of commiseration and understanding. Know that although most of my "church issues" come from what I'd call more "spiritual neglect" than "abuse," I can and do empathize with your pain and, in general, this ties in with a long-standing "philosophical"/"theological" considerations I have had about where and how people do "fall through the cracks" and are no longer able to receive ministry and inspiration within the institutional church.


I see some (from the few posts I've read so far) refer to the forum as "family." What does "family" mean on this forum? Guess maybe that sounds kind of silly but I am curious. :) AJ

Well....um....:o :rolleyes: ....for me, it means that I've found a "safe place, " one where I feel I can "be myself" and where I am, gradually, learning to be more "comfortable in my own skin." I'm not active enough on this board to know how others may be using the term.

What is coming to mind at the moment, is this old hymn text:

My Shepherd will supply my need

http://www.oremus.org/hymnal/m/m184.html
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My Shepherd will supply my need:
Jehovah is His Name;
in pastures fresh he makes me feed,
beside the living stream.
He brings my wandering spirit back
when I forsake his ways,
and leads me, for his mercy's sake,
in paths of truth and grace.

When I walk through the shades of death
his presence is my stay;
one word of his supporting grace
drives all my fears away.
His hand, in sight of all my foes,
doth still my table spread;
my cup with blessings overflows,
his oil anoints my head.

The sure provisions of my God
attend me all my days;
O may thy house be my abode,
and all my work be praise.
There would I find a settled rest,
while others go and come;
no more a stranger, nor a guest,
but like a child at home.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Words: Isaac Watts (1674-1748)



There would I find a settled rest,
while others go and come;
no more a stranger, nor a guest,
but like a child at home.

Gradually, with what I can only interpret as God's Grace in action, it seems more and more of us are learning to feel "like a child at home."

Glad to have you join us, however you define the "relationship!"

Grace and peace to you and yours this day.

Theodora

--

[jimsmuse]

Hey Allannajoy,

Bless your heart for what you have been through but welcome to the hearts of a great bunch of people! You are safe here, no worries. ;)

We call ourselves a family because of a shared past in some way, shape or form.:rolleyes:
Love, always jimsmuse

[Illuminated]

I'm a survivor of spiritual as well as other abuses but won't go into that right now. Welcome Allannajoy!

I have been participating here only since December, so my experiences include only, let’s see, five months of reading and contributing to this forum. There seems to be a core of about 10 people who have been here from the beginning, and then others that come for a while and then stop participating.

I am not sure how this Spiritual Abuse Forum is linked to Jeff Van Vonderen, one of the authors of The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, but somehow it is. From what I can tell, there are two main forums at located here. There is the NACR general recovery forum that Theodora, the sanest one of our group, mentioned.

Then there is this forum for those of us who have undergone some kind of spiritual abuse, usually at the hands of other Christians. Also there are two Miscellaneous Forums for Suggestions and Questions and Testing – playing around with the software.

Then, you’ll notice that on the main Christian Recover Forums page about three quarters of the way down in a gray bar is a link to another page:
Sexual Abuse and Domestic Violence Forums: If your main issues relate to sexual abuse or domestic violence we encourage you to participate in the very active and supportive forums at www.christiansurvivors.com
Here is what I have learned about the nature of this forum from participating on this forum. This information is only my opinion, and not the opinion of the forum leaders or sponsors, or other members of the forum.

I don’t think it is a good idea to use your real name when posting. It is not a good idea to use any real names when posting. You might even want to change a few of the details, should you decide to post any. If you notice, there are always a bunch of guests reading the forum, and anyone on the internet can read what we say. One of us got harassing phone calls from members of the old church after they were watching the forum and what was written about them.

Some of us suffer from Post Traumatic Stress and can be ‘triggered’ by something someone else says, causing an uncomfortable or upsetting emotion. The PTSD we have is usually from Christian spiritual abuse. Some of us don’t like to see scripture posted, some of us react to unkind remarks, some of us react to criticism, and some of us react to prayers.

A few of us suffer from Disassociative Identity Disorder (used to be called multiple personality disorder) and may post as alter personalities. I think this usually happens on the General Recovery NACR forum.

Some of us have backgrounds in cult-like groups. You are welcome here, and I understand your question about the meaning of the word ‘family’. I don’t think the welcoming messages that you are receiving are love bombing. I believe they are sincere messages from others who sympathise with what they think may be your sufferings.

Some of us have a sense of humour about what happened to us, some of us don’t. Some of us are gun-shy of attending church and don’t go anymore. Some of us are doubting our faith.

Some of us are further along in the recovery process than others. Some of us want a place to vent, some of us want a place to seek other opinions, some of us want a place to heal and get better, and some of us want this place to be all of those things.

All of us have been emotionally and spiritually hurt. Big time.

I have found several people here who have a background very similar to mine, and I am enjoying ‘conversing’ with them. They have helped me get some things out of my system when there was no one else to ‘talk to’. I have also enjoyed learning about their trials and triumphs.

So! Welcome! :)

[allannajoy]

Theodora,

Thank you for the information about NACR and how the two sites operate/overlap - whatever way :) . I will take that into consideration when posting.

It is a assuring to know people can come here and "feel at home."

The reason I noticed is- in my local area, it seems the term "family" is being replaced by "community" within the church structure and beyond. An individual with no family finds community now - not new family. It is called reprogramming the community to think differently about each other. Sad. Its been awhile since "hearing" the term "family" outside of the traditional definition and good to see it of all places in cyberspace. :D

".......My Shepherd will supply my need ......
There would I find a settled rest,
while others go and come;
no more a stranger, nor a guest,
but like a child at home." hmmmm nice. :)

Thank you for sharing this hymm and peace to you. AJ.

[allannajoy]

Welcome Allannajoy!

I have been participating here only since December, so my experiences include only, let’s see, five months of reading and contributing to this forum. There seems to be a core of about 10 people who have been here from the beginning, and then others that come for a while and then stop participating.

I am not sure how this Spiritual Abuse Forum is linked to Jeff Van Vonderen, one of the authors of The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, but somehow it is. From what I can tell, there are two main forums at located here. There is the NACR general recovery forum that Theodora, the sanest one of our group, mentioned.

Then there is this forum for those of us who have undergone some kind of spiritual abuse, usually at the hands of other Christians. Also there are two Miscellaneous Forums for Suggestions and Questions and Testing – playing around with the software.

Then, you’ll notice that on the main Christian Recover Forums page about three quarters of the way down in a gray bar is a link to another page:
Sexual Abuse and Domestic Violence Forums: If your main issues relate to sexual abuse or domestic violence we encourage you to participate in the very active and supportive forums at www.christiansurvivors.com
Here is what I have learned about the nature of this forum from participating on this forum. This information is only my opinion, and not the opinion of the forum leaders or sponsors, or other members of the forum.

I don’t think it is a good idea to use your real name when posting. It is not a good idea to use any real names when posting. You might even want to change a few of the details, should you decide to post any. If you notice, there are always a bunch of guests reading the forum, and anyone on the internet can read what we say. One of us got harassing phone calls from members of the old church after they were watching the forum and what was written about them.

Some of us suffer from Post Traumatic Stress and can be ‘triggered’ by something someone else says, causing an uncomfortable or upsetting emotion. The PTSD we have is usually from Christian spiritual abuse. Some of us don’t like to see scripture posted, some of us react to unkind remarks, some of us react to criticism, and some of us react to prayers.

A few of us suffer from Disassociative Identity Disorder (used to be called multiple personality disorder) and may post as alter personalities. I think this usually happens on the General Recovery NACR forum.

Some of us have backgrounds in cult-like groups. You are welcome here, and I understand your question about the meaning of the word ‘family’. I don’t think the welcoming messages that you are receiving are love bombing. I believe they are sincere messages from others who sympathise with what they think may be your sufferings.

Some of us have a sense of humour about what happened to us, some of us don’t. Some of us are gun-shy of attending church and don’t go anymore. Some of us are doubting our faith.

Some of us are further along in the recovery process than others. Some of us want a place to vent, some of us want a place to seek other opinions, some of us want a place to heal and get better, and some of us want this place to be all of those things.

All of us have been emotionally and spiritually hurt. Big time.

I have found several people here who have a background very similar to mine, and I am enjoying ‘conversing’ with them. They have helped me get some things out of my system when there was no one else to ‘talk to’. I have also enjoyed learning about their trials and triumphs.

So! Welcome! :)


Hi Illuminate, it is nice to meet you.

Lots to digest here. I'll try to get around to the different features with time. Also learning more about different posters as I'm reading their experiences. Thank you for sharing your experiences about the board. It is good to see so many find this forum helpful in their healing processes. I am looking forward to getting to know folks here better. Thanks again. sincerely AJ.

[Carmen]

Hi Allanajoy,

Just wanted to give you a warm welcome! :)

Carmen

[allannajoy]

Hi Allanajoy,

Just wanted to give you a warm welcome! :)

Carmen


Hey Allannajoy,

Bless your heart for what you have been through but welcome to the hearts of a great bunch of people! You are safe here, no worries.

We call ourselves a family because of a shared past in some way, shape or form.
Love, always jimsmuse

Thank you Carmen and jimsmuse - very much appreciated :) AJ

[yeshua'smags]

Let's hear it for the not so sane! :D :D :D

WOOO HOOOOO!!!!!;) :D :D

[jimsmuse]

I second that Yeshua'smags ;)

Here, Here!! :p

always, jimsmuse

[peanut]

Hi Allannajoy - (Great Name!)

Just wanted to join everyone else in welcoming you to our little group! I think you will find acceptance, assurance and pretty up front honesty here. I have been around only a couple of months & already feel like I really know some of these people, Take your time & jump in whenever you are ready.

Love,
Peanut

[allannajoy]

we are sorry.


we did this cuz we saw how akward it is for peple talking with us.


we wanted to know how feling normal is.


how being treated as a same is for real.


but we cant kep doing this. we wont last just being one.


its not us. we are done. we are not in control. losing it.

after the jess stuff things are going down hill.

its not a excuse. sorry ninas.

[Willow]

HUGS ninas... it's OK. I'm glad you were honest.
So... how did it feel? I guess it's hard to tell coz you already know us.

[ninaspirit]

HUGS ninas... it's OK. I'm glad you were honest.
So... how did it feel? I guess it's hard to tell coz you already know us.


really? how did it feel. it was good. but then it dint fel good. it fels sick now. we are so sorry. guess it is waht we did for lots of years. making us be how peple neded us. and we cant do it no more. we hope we arnt stuck in this one sory we re not doing good.

jess is are conection with God. it hurts. it hurts being here and not having her. peple dont understnad it. and we shodnt kep trying for it. ok. is ok. we shold let go. make it stop. Nancy is out of control. she is angry. angry angry. we shodlnt write this here. we dont care. it isnt a normal way for saying things. we hate us. its how we are. she is making problmes for us. like this. wantng to do stuff we are not alowed. yah were teling. we dont care.

[jimsmuse]

Please don't leave us Ninas! We love you, you help us be better people.

It's ok, it was just an experiment! Just an experiment to see how something else felt.

Nothing at all to be sorry about, ever again ninas! Try to stay with us, we really do need all of you to be here teaching us! You all have so much to give.

I am so glad to have been able to talk to you all and hear what all of you have to say. :)

Peace be with you ninaspirit,

love, marcy

[newlife]

(((((((((ninas)))))))))

Like Willow said, it's okay...

I love you just for who you are...

love, newlife

P.S. Please don't leave...we need you here...

[peanut]

It's OK Nina - just stick with us & we'll be here for you. I know you miss Jess right now. Jess is welcome here whenever. I hope Nancy will forget some of her anger. I know you don't need that right now. Just stay with us. Let us know how we can help.
Love you,
Peanut

[ninaspirit]

k guys this is making us feel real sily.

we are online with a frend who has DID and they say it hapend to them to - lots of swithing back wehn they are trying to stay with one. we arent the first one to have it go this way. ok. it is helping. and we are feling more calm. thanks

thanks for being here for us. it means a lot and we dint do any other things we thought abot doing today. that wouldnt be good. thanks . love ninas.

[jimsmuse]

I am so glad you all feel better! :)

No need to feel silly....you are with "family" and a safe one at that! ;)

love, marcy

[ninaspirit]

thank you marcy and newlife and Peanut for praying for us. we are sure those helped us kep safe today. we do realy apreciate it. love ninas.

tired now - we need to go rest.

[ninaspirit]

I am so glad you all feel better! :)

No need to feel silly....you are with "family" and a safe one at that! ;)

love, marcy


ok deal marcy we ned to remember it. :) ninas.

[yeshua'smags]

Forgive me if I sound flip, but I thought it was a good one!! You totally had us! I've been talking to you all day, it was so fun! I'm glad to have the chance to get to talk to you that way. I hope to continue talking to you, as you!! All of you!:D ;)

Who said Jess couldn't post here anymore?:eek: I liked her, she was innocent and honest, and I am really sorry she got hurt. I don't think anyone on here will let that happen again!;) :cool:

I am so sorry you are hurting, I will be praying for you , sweet ninas!:( ;)

As for the switch, I thought it was funny!:D ;)

[SpinningHead]

I really like the name Allanajoy. :) It made me think of children laughing.

[butterfly]

:D Ninas, You are loved by me.
All of you I love Jess she is so sweet. I wish I could give all of you a big hug. butterfly shirley