Catartist
05-15-2006, 10:14 AM
Hi all, I am a newbie. Was looking for a place to "discuss" my church troubles, as most friends are fellow church members... Will try to make this as short as I can, but it is sort of a long story...
Got a new pastor a year ago. Before that, the church was going downhill, so in between pastors we did a major restructuring of our leadership system. Put in place a "Ministerial Leadership Team," (6 Lay Ministers representing a cross-section of the congregation--men, women, old, young) who oversee 6 areas of church life (Worship, Missions, Admin., etc.), with the Pastor being the final member of the "Team." This structure was meant to break up a power stronghold by one family that had controlled the church for years. Sounded good so far.
The new pastor came in on the heels of the major change, highly recommended, highly skilled. We were glad to finally have someone who seemed to be able to handle things. He started to talk about how we're going to overhaul the church, it's going to now be the "New Evangelical Church," figuratively speaking (as opposed to the plain old "Evangelical Church"). O.K. we thought, we're ready for some change. He was a very gifted counselor, a fantastic preacher, a good teacher, even had a "deliverance" ministry which I personally witnessed with a friend and was very impacted by. I believe he does exhibit God's power at times....
The problem is, this new pastor after several months began to take over virtually everything. He said we should no longer rent out our facilities to groups (weddings, etc.) -- the church is not a profit business -- so he brought it to the MLT, and one day the announcement was in the bulletin, done deal. Another example. For years, Praise Team has warmed up 5-10 min. before Worship Services. One day, Pastor says this must stop -- Sunday morning is not the time to practice (it was just warming up). The P. Team leader fought him on this, but after awhile Pastor & Worship Minister talked her into "moving on" to another non-music position (don't know if this is true or just the cover story). I could give many other examples, but I think this makes the point. We are now coming to understand that his idea of leadership is that ALL decisions must now 1) either originate with him, or 2) be discussed with him, and then filter down through the Ministerial Leadership Team, to be "announced" to the congregation (This doesn't always even happen even -- we only come to find out some things after several months).
O.K. my personal story. Hubby & I were in Worship Planning/Music/Choir for about 20 years at this church. Hubby basically started the first Worship Committee -- before that it was just whatever the pastor could get together for a Sunday morning (we're a small church). Once New Pastor came last year and the new structure was in place, Hubby was now to answer to the Minister of Worship (MoW). His initial understanding was he would basically be doing the same thing he had always done (direct choir, lead singing), but was to keep her informed of his "area." As time went on, he realized his decisions about even minor things (types of songs picked, practice times, any detail) were subject to her approval. It became even more clear at worship meetings, when Pastor was there, that what hubby might like to do was irrelevant. The Pastor and MoW met together before every meeting and began to systematically change whatever they felt was not right for the "New Evangelical," then brought it to the Worship Team for their "approval." Hubby would try to raise objections, but discussion was always quickly reverted back to what the Pastor thought. He came home from meetings many nights, saying, "I don't know what I'm there for -- they already have everything decided...."
They (Pastor and MoW) decided we should no longer "hire" a choir accompanist; we could use who was already in the congregation (which really wasn't the case -- our few accompanists reallly couldn't play the kind of music the choir was doing). But hubby realized the Leaders weren't going to take no for an answer, so went along with it (even though it broke his heart to tell the accompanist she was "dismissed"), and said he would just try to pick really easy music for the three ladies who play piano. The last 6-8 months have been one compromise after another for him: changing hymns he picked because MoW says the congregation doesn't know it; having to tell a new attendee that because of "new policy" she couldn't sing in choir since she wasn't a member, etc.
The last straw came the week before Easter. Hubby wanted to have a practice at church on Good Friday, since most people have off work. He was going to have it in the late p.m. & then have a light fellowship supper afterwards. When he mentioned it in passing to MoW, she immediately said, "Oh I don't think that's a good idea. That seems too much like a celebration....I mean, I was going to watch 'The Passion of the Christ' that day...." He didn't say anything at the time, but thought that was fine for her but it didn't have to be what everyone did on Good Friday (i.e. we're not livin' under The Law anymore, you know?). And what better thing to do than to get together with other Christians, sing songs of worship to the Lord, and have a meal together on Good Friday. We talked about it, and finally he decided it was a silly argument she was giving, and he was just going to email MoW and say something like "Thanks for your input. I think I'll go ahead and have the practice" and see if she backed down (i.e. what did he have to lose). So he emailed, and the response was not very good.... She was offended he was trying to ignore her "authority," and she ended up taking it to the MLT where a statement was enacted saying there shall be no church activities on Good Friday, so there.
About the same time, I was working on a banner project for Worship Team. Had met with Pastor and several Lay Ministers twice for about 4 hours total. I thought I was clear on their wishes after that. Having some artistic ability, I assumed they had given me the task of "overseeing" the project. I thought I had freedom to explore different options of color, fabric, etc. I was to team up with another woman from church, a very good artist, and together make the banners. I was in prayer for a week or more before first meeting with her, asking God to direct in this project. When we met and talked, it was amazing. We were so together in our thinking: what the illustrations would be (based on what I had gleaned from meeting with the Ministers), colors, styles, etc. It felt like the Holy Spirit was really leading, & I was so excited. She presented our rough ideas to the Pastor and Minister of Worship a week or so later. After the meeting, she came to me said, "Well, evidently what we were thinking isn't what they were thinking...they didn't like any of it. The colors were too dark, etc., etc. Frankly I don't know what they are thinking..." I was SO discouraged. The more I thought about it, the madder I got (remembering what had happened to Hubby in his 'dealings' with the same people, remembering how strongly it had felt like the Holy Spirit was speaking...).
I came home & told my husband. It was soon after Easter. We both felt so.....disapointed, & frustrated. This was not what we had thought "Spirit-led" ministry was all about -- that people are freed to listen to God's voice & discern & minister based on what they hear God saying. After a weekend of soul-searching, praying, reading the Bible, talking to some friends outside the church, we decided to resign from all our worship involvements. It seemed like the only thing to do. We both didn't feel like we could be up front leading the congregation in worship (I also played piano) feeling the way we did about our Leaders.
(See Part B for continuation)
Got a new pastor a year ago. Before that, the church was going downhill, so in between pastors we did a major restructuring of our leadership system. Put in place a "Ministerial Leadership Team," (6 Lay Ministers representing a cross-section of the congregation--men, women, old, young) who oversee 6 areas of church life (Worship, Missions, Admin., etc.), with the Pastor being the final member of the "Team." This structure was meant to break up a power stronghold by one family that had controlled the church for years. Sounded good so far.
The new pastor came in on the heels of the major change, highly recommended, highly skilled. We were glad to finally have someone who seemed to be able to handle things. He started to talk about how we're going to overhaul the church, it's going to now be the "New Evangelical Church," figuratively speaking (as opposed to the plain old "Evangelical Church"). O.K. we thought, we're ready for some change. He was a very gifted counselor, a fantastic preacher, a good teacher, even had a "deliverance" ministry which I personally witnessed with a friend and was very impacted by. I believe he does exhibit God's power at times....
The problem is, this new pastor after several months began to take over virtually everything. He said we should no longer rent out our facilities to groups (weddings, etc.) -- the church is not a profit business -- so he brought it to the MLT, and one day the announcement was in the bulletin, done deal. Another example. For years, Praise Team has warmed up 5-10 min. before Worship Services. One day, Pastor says this must stop -- Sunday morning is not the time to practice (it was just warming up). The P. Team leader fought him on this, but after awhile Pastor & Worship Minister talked her into "moving on" to another non-music position (don't know if this is true or just the cover story). I could give many other examples, but I think this makes the point. We are now coming to understand that his idea of leadership is that ALL decisions must now 1) either originate with him, or 2) be discussed with him, and then filter down through the Ministerial Leadership Team, to be "announced" to the congregation (This doesn't always even happen even -- we only come to find out some things after several months).
O.K. my personal story. Hubby & I were in Worship Planning/Music/Choir for about 20 years at this church. Hubby basically started the first Worship Committee -- before that it was just whatever the pastor could get together for a Sunday morning (we're a small church). Once New Pastor came last year and the new structure was in place, Hubby was now to answer to the Minister of Worship (MoW). His initial understanding was he would basically be doing the same thing he had always done (direct choir, lead singing), but was to keep her informed of his "area." As time went on, he realized his decisions about even minor things (types of songs picked, practice times, any detail) were subject to her approval. It became even more clear at worship meetings, when Pastor was there, that what hubby might like to do was irrelevant. The Pastor and MoW met together before every meeting and began to systematically change whatever they felt was not right for the "New Evangelical," then brought it to the Worship Team for their "approval." Hubby would try to raise objections, but discussion was always quickly reverted back to what the Pastor thought. He came home from meetings many nights, saying, "I don't know what I'm there for -- they already have everything decided...."
They (Pastor and MoW) decided we should no longer "hire" a choir accompanist; we could use who was already in the congregation (which really wasn't the case -- our few accompanists reallly couldn't play the kind of music the choir was doing). But hubby realized the Leaders weren't going to take no for an answer, so went along with it (even though it broke his heart to tell the accompanist she was "dismissed"), and said he would just try to pick really easy music for the three ladies who play piano. The last 6-8 months have been one compromise after another for him: changing hymns he picked because MoW says the congregation doesn't know it; having to tell a new attendee that because of "new policy" she couldn't sing in choir since she wasn't a member, etc.
The last straw came the week before Easter. Hubby wanted to have a practice at church on Good Friday, since most people have off work. He was going to have it in the late p.m. & then have a light fellowship supper afterwards. When he mentioned it in passing to MoW, she immediately said, "Oh I don't think that's a good idea. That seems too much like a celebration....I mean, I was going to watch 'The Passion of the Christ' that day...." He didn't say anything at the time, but thought that was fine for her but it didn't have to be what everyone did on Good Friday (i.e. we're not livin' under The Law anymore, you know?). And what better thing to do than to get together with other Christians, sing songs of worship to the Lord, and have a meal together on Good Friday. We talked about it, and finally he decided it was a silly argument she was giving, and he was just going to email MoW and say something like "Thanks for your input. I think I'll go ahead and have the practice" and see if she backed down (i.e. what did he have to lose). So he emailed, and the response was not very good.... She was offended he was trying to ignore her "authority," and she ended up taking it to the MLT where a statement was enacted saying there shall be no church activities on Good Friday, so there.
About the same time, I was working on a banner project for Worship Team. Had met with Pastor and several Lay Ministers twice for about 4 hours total. I thought I was clear on their wishes after that. Having some artistic ability, I assumed they had given me the task of "overseeing" the project. I thought I had freedom to explore different options of color, fabric, etc. I was to team up with another woman from church, a very good artist, and together make the banners. I was in prayer for a week or more before first meeting with her, asking God to direct in this project. When we met and talked, it was amazing. We were so together in our thinking: what the illustrations would be (based on what I had gleaned from meeting with the Ministers), colors, styles, etc. It felt like the Holy Spirit was really leading, & I was so excited. She presented our rough ideas to the Pastor and Minister of Worship a week or so later. After the meeting, she came to me said, "Well, evidently what we were thinking isn't what they were thinking...they didn't like any of it. The colors were too dark, etc., etc. Frankly I don't know what they are thinking..." I was SO discouraged. The more I thought about it, the madder I got (remembering what had happened to Hubby in his 'dealings' with the same people, remembering how strongly it had felt like the Holy Spirit was speaking...).
I came home & told my husband. It was soon after Easter. We both felt so.....disapointed, & frustrated. This was not what we had thought "Spirit-led" ministry was all about -- that people are freed to listen to God's voice & discern & minister based on what they hear God saying. After a weekend of soul-searching, praying, reading the Bible, talking to some friends outside the church, we decided to resign from all our worship involvements. It seemed like the only thing to do. We both didn't feel like we could be up front leading the congregation in worship (I also played piano) feeling the way we did about our Leaders.
(See Part B for continuation)