Hi Katie! How have you been???

[Theodora]

I saw you on-line and realized that I think it's been a while since you've posted---SO...I was just reviewing some of your earlier posts to get something of your story. (Beautiful work...and good exchanges in those threads! What a blessing to be able to have so much archival history here which we can use as necessary!)

Hope you're doing well---

If I've missed something in your story, please forgive me. I've been sort of out of touch here (and on NACR) this spring due to on-going pleurisy etc., but have recently begun to feel better, so I'm thankful for that.

Blessings---

and Welcome back! Just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you today. Would be interested in hearing from you if you feel up to that.

Theodora

[Katie]

Hi Theodora,
What a nice surprise to pop in and see a greeting from you.
It has been a while since I've posted. I drop by and read posts sometimes.

Due to the fact that I haven't been active, I know that I'm not familiar to some of the current posters and I'm not current on peoples' stories, so I'm hesitant to jump in.

This forum was really helpful and important to me when I needed it the most, and some of the regulars from back then (and now), like yourself, jerry, reg, voyager, willow, spinninghead, prof nachos, jane, and many others were an important part of my recovery.

Being able to pour out my story here and finally have someone to hear me meant so much to me when I first discovered the forum. It was great finding people who understood, and I also learned a lot from the experiences others had gone through.

After awhile, I got really tired of being in recovery. During that time, I tended to post mostly when I was triggered by things related to our former church. I was sick of hurting and just wanted to be over it. I posted occasionally during this time, but I could hardly stand my own depressed state.

Fortunately recovery continued. I can't say there was any specific moment it was better, but just a gradual lessening of the pain and anger. It helps that the contact with people from the former church is much less than it was at first.

Occasional contact is okay because it forces me to continue to deal with the issues rather than stuff them. At some point, I shifted from feeling lost that we'd been rejected to feeling grateful that we are no longer there.

It seems there's always something ongoing that doesn't let it all just be over with. Last week, my husband's ex-best friend called to "chat." He's still involved there. There were the typical apologies about not calling, "well, I've been meaning to call you (for two years) and just haven't done it." And the lame, "Give my love to your wife." Yeah, we've seen what that love is like. And then we're left wondering what the motive was for calling.

Today a disgruntled member showed up, trying to convince himself that it's okay to stay there. He doesn't really want to leave because he really likes the people there, but he has concerns. He said that another couple was recently kicked out of the church. But even knowing that, he wants to believe that everything is okay. No one there really wants to see the truth of what's going on because it'll mess up their "perfect" church.

Living in a small town, we'll never be totally free of association with the past. It seems like every week there's something in our church bulletin about multi-church events that include both our current church and former church. For now, we avoid them like the plague.

Anyway, I guess you put a nickel in me.:)

This forum is such an important place, and I really respect those of you who hang around to help all the new people who stumble in here with the same old rotten story. Whenever I run across someone dealing with this issue, I refer them to this forum.

Thanks for asking about me, and I hope you are doing well too.

[Theodora]

It warmed my heart to have you here and to be able to know that the forum has been helpful for you. Your journey is one which would probably "resonate" with a lot of folks...particularly the fatigue of all of this business of "recovery," but how wonderful to have some sign posts that YES....things CAN get better. It sounds like you've been doing a good job of handling a lot of stressful things...

Thanks again for your update.

Peace to you and yours--

Theodora



Hi Theodora,
What a nice surprise to pop in and see a greeting from you.
It has been a while since I've posted. I drop by and read posts sometimes.

Due to the fact that I haven't been active, I know that I'm not familiar to some of the current posters and I'm not current on peoples' stories, so I'm hesitant to jump in.

This forum was really helpful and important to me when I needed it the most, and some of the regulars from back then (and now), like yourself, jerry, reg, voyager, willow, spinninghead, prof nachos, jane, and many others were an important part of my recovery.

Being able to pour out my story here and finally have someone to hear me meant so much to me when I first discovered the forum. It was great finding people who understood, and I also learned a lot from the experiences others had gone through.

After awhile, I got really tired of being in recovery. During that time, I tended to post mostly when I was triggered by things related to our former church. I was sick of hurting and just wanted to be over it. I posted occasionally during this time, but I could hardly stand my own depressed state.

Fortunately recovery continued. I can't say there was any specific moment it was better, but just a gradual lessening of the pain and anger. It helps that the contact with people from the former church is much less than it was at first.

Occasional contact is okay because it forces me to continue to deal with the issues rather than stuff them. At some point, I shifted from feeling lost that we'd been rejected to feeling grateful that we are no longer there.

It seems there's always something ongoing that doesn't let it all just be over with. Last week, my husband's ex-best friend called to "chat." He's still involved there. There were the typical apologies about not calling, "well, I've been meaning to call you (for two years) and just haven't done it." And the lame, "Give my love to your wife." Yeah, we've seen what that love is like. And then we're left wondering what the motive was for calling.

Today a disgruntled member showed up, trying to convince himself that it's okay to stay there. He doesn't really want to leave because he really likes the people there, but he has concerns. He said that another couple was recently kicked out of the church. But even knowing that, he wants to believe that everything is okay. No one there really wants to see the truth of what's going on because it'll mess up their "perfect" church.

Living in a small town, we'll never be totally free of association with the past. It seems like every week there's something in our church bulletin about multi-church events that include both our current church and former church. For now, we avoid them like the plague.

Anyway, I guess you put a nickel in me.:)

This forum is such an important place, and I really respect those of you who hang around to help all the new people who stumble in here with the same old rotten story. Whenever I run across someone dealing with this issue, I refer them to this forum.

Thanks for asking about me, and I hope you are doing well too.

[Jerry]

hi Katie !!!!!! :d

[yeshua'smags]

Hi Katie!! I love your blog! You referred me to this site and I can't thank you enough!! The others on the forum may not be so thankful though;) ........:D

[newlife]

Hi Katie!! I love your blog! You referred me to this site and I can't thank you enough!! The others on the forum may not be so thankful though;) ........:D

I'm thankful! ;) :D

[yeshua'smags]

Aww, thank you newlife! I love you!:D

[Katie]

Theodora,
You inspired me to read through some of the archives.
What a journey it has been. Lots of tears and some laughs with all of you along the way.

Jerry,
A couple things you said that were true, but I didn't want to hear at the time:
1. It's going to take some time.
2. Vindication is a fantasy.
You were right. ;)

Maggie,
I'm glad that you've made yourself at home here. It's a great place to find some friends (like newlife) who understand the trauma of spiritual abuse.