LONG: Fresh Spiritual Abuse

[Candy]

This is going to be long. It may also be hard to follow. I am trying to be diplomatic about it (regarding no one on this forum, that I know of).

I went to a religious conference this weekend. It was a blessing to me in many ways. Some people did some spiritual warfare praying for me. Cool. But, what is not so cool is that the enemy (or “emeny”, as I started calling him to my girlfriend who went with me, after mispronouncing it the first time) does NOT like this.

I am very afraid to share what I am about to share. Please, I want no condemnation . . .

Can’t remember if I’ve mentioned a person (member of a large independent fundamental church) before who has spiritually abused me. This one person is also ADHD, as am I. That is how we originally met. We had become good friends. I even got my youngest cat from her. Well, something happened about three years ago, about the time she got married (FIRST MARRIAGE). Her widowed father “liked” me. I guess you could say we had an online, long distance “relationship”. As flighty and freaked out and controlling as she was, we wondered how the marriage would “progress” (would it survive?).

I don’t know what she did or did not do to her father, but she became extremely freaked out with me. She had a loud shouting match at me. No opportunity for discussion. No opportunity for explanation or apology. I was just shouted down about stuff like how I “put her marriage at risk” (?????). Seems to me that maybe she was a little afraid of how it would go, herself. He had to have told her. I certainly didn’t. Makes me not trust either of them. This was three years ago.

She apparently recently joined another email list I had belonged to (note the past tense) last week. I mentioned about being gone to this seminar. I saw her name in the list of posters and sent her a WELCOME NOTE. I had also asked the current list for prayer about another friend in an abusive SECOND MARRIAGE. The current person insisted the person I mentioned was she. She started bad-mouthing me to this current list!!! She is still incredibly hung up on and freaked out about the situation after three years. We haven’t spoken to each other in all this time. She won’t “discuss”. She even blocked my emails after I tried to defend myself to the current list and explain the situation so the other girls wouldn’t think I was some freaky, unthinking, uncaring monster. Insists the second marriage person was she. Still, after three years, insists I have put her marriage at risk.

I unsubbed from that nice group I was currently belonging to. I couldn’t stand to see those things continually said about me and her not wanting to discuss it with me (privately, of course). I couldn’t stand to think that those other girls would think I was some sort of horrible person.

I will repeat a question I asked when I joined - Where is the Christian love? Who can I trust? Who can I open up to? Where can I go? Who is safe? If this is what is taught in that mega church, I don’t ever want to go back. I am learning not to trust anyone from there. I am learning to be scared of other Christians.

I know this doesn’t sound like much, but it is VERY HURTFUL to me. If that is a picture of Christian love, I DON’T WANT IT.

[SpinningHead]

Hi Candy, (Love the kitty!)

If you said you weren't discussing her particular issues in your post, then that should have been enough for everyone...no one should have paid her any more attention on the subject. She sounds like a freak and bent on blaming you for her own issues. You sound like a sincere friend trying to work it out reasonably...but she doesn't sound like she wants to reason anything out for that would mean she would have to acknowledge her own shortcomings.

((((((((Candy))))))))))

You're right! Sometimes you gotta wonder....where is the love?

[Doug64]

Back to 'trying the spirits' to find out where the love is.

There's good ones and bad 'uns all around. This woman sounds exceptionally paranoid.

I think one has to get to know someone before opening up to them too much.
That's difficult on a forum where you never meet face-to-face. But even here, it is possible to gauge a person by reading their posts. If there were someone who appeared to be unsafe, it would become apparent.

Doug

[Candy]

Thank you to both Doug and SpinningHead for your kind responses. I was “almost” afraid to write the forum here with this. My luck with email lists/forums hasn’t been too good recently – you all know about the one that brought me here and now this most recent one.

I kinda thought the girl had her own issues that needed to be dealt with (of course she doesn’t think so, as she goes to this “wonderful” independent fundamental mega-church). But, one of the spirits “after” me attacks my thinking and makes me not trust it. “Great” for an ADHD bipolar person, huh? She’s hurt me very, very badly over the past three years about this situation. But, I have been willing to discuss and forgive. She’s not. I welcomed her to the most recent list with problems. All she could do is slam and bad-mouth me.

I got my youngest cat Letty from her. Letty is just so darn cute and lovable that she makes it easy to forget where she came from.

And you are also right, Doug. One can’t hide their true colors forever.

I guess I have to expect attacks after engaging in some spiritual warfare this past weekend. But, I still think Christians should act like Christians. It’s not a good witness if you can’t forgive and if you continue to engage in attacks years after some “perceived” slight.