Blake
03-12-2006, 07:35 AM
Thanks for the responses....
I am busy doing mentoring in a nion official positionn on this bulletin board...I am in there to encourage and support etc, but it does get very draining sometimes because i ahve my lobnley days and to be honest..sexual temptation is quite hard when on tour...porn, illicit sexual encounters, masturbation.etc..I ahve to stay pretty accountable to the leadership to a large degree etc so its good but issues like masturbation are there more our of lonliness and not being around people.
I do think i need to be involved ina church , or a community and I ahve friends from a chucrh who pray fro me etc..but i feel`SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO lonley sometimes and I know that God has said I am in a wilderness season while on tour.
I still feel very different from "normal" belivers becasue of the gay temptation and stuff and still feeling like I am totally dealing iwth the same issues etc....
I am going to go back to church , but IO will do nit on MY terms and will not get involved in any way until I feel its right. Basically, I am going to control what happens as much as I CAN until I feel that things are okay.
But a lot has changed I suppose, but I am slowly< getting closer to God step by step and developing a walk with him INDEÜENDENT of other church influences..which is what God has wanted.......
I feel like I am a freak sometimes cos I like nion christians more at times and tehy are friendlier, more real ect than manya christians. The yound peopole IO mentor and encourage are great as well becasue its wonderful to listen to them and even respond in away that is opkay and non condemning to issues that churches wont touch..same sex attarction, porn, gender confusion etc..I love dealing with these issues and really think that maybe God is calling em to get more involved..although my own temptations are there ..but He is striong in my weakness.
I also have been to churches in berlin and strff and giod has been giving me the same word ....to be myself and worship in spirit and in truth with no expectations or pressure.
Its as if a false self is dying and the person i really am is emerging.
Step by step.
I am busy doing mentoring in a nion official positionn on this bulletin board...I am in there to encourage and support etc, but it does get very draining sometimes because i ahve my lobnley days and to be honest..sexual temptation is quite hard when on tour...porn, illicit sexual encounters, masturbation.etc..I ahve to stay pretty accountable to the leadership to a large degree etc so its good but issues like masturbation are there more our of lonliness and not being around people.
I do think i need to be involved ina church , or a community and I ahve friends from a chucrh who pray fro me etc..but i feel`SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO lonley sometimes and I know that God has said I am in a wilderness season while on tour.
I still feel very different from "normal" belivers becasue of the gay temptation and stuff and still feeling like I am totally dealing iwth the same issues etc....
I am going to go back to church , but IO will do nit on MY terms and will not get involved in any way until I feel its right. Basically, I am going to control what happens as much as I CAN until I feel that things are okay.
But a lot has changed I suppose, but I am slowly< getting closer to God step by step and developing a walk with him INDEÜENDENT of other church influences..which is what God has wanted.......
I feel like I am a freak sometimes cos I like nion christians more at times and tehy are friendlier, more real ect than manya christians. The yound peopole IO mentor and encourage are great as well becasue its wonderful to listen to them and even respond in away that is opkay and non condemning to issues that churches wont touch..same sex attarction, porn, gender confusion etc..I love dealing with these issues and really think that maybe God is calling em to get more involved..although my own temptations are there ..but He is striong in my weakness.
I also have been to churches in berlin and strff and giod has been giving me the same word ....to be myself and worship in spirit and in truth with no expectations or pressure.
Its as if a false self is dying and the person i really am is emerging.
Step by step.