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hornblower
03-01-2006, 05:58 PM
Thankyou so much for replying to me. You were all such a help and I greatly appreciate it. As the day has rolled on by I am beginning to piece these things together about that dream. I cant really remember all of the dream except that I know I was being hunted and there was fear and I was scared of being murdered.

So now let me tell you how my day went to explain more. To begin with right before I went to sleep last night before that dream, I had another huge argument with my daughter. Sooner or later I always feel so guilty for these arguments. She called me this morning to ask me to forgive her. Bless her heart. Still though I shouldnt have gotten that mad at her.

Next thing is though Ive been really praying the last few days...getting back to the Lord. Part of that is repenting, always is for me anyway.

I went to have my hair done today and out it all came right there to my Christian hairdresser. "Im so tired of sinning over and over again, getting angry at my daughter and basically here's the problem........she is sick, and I dont want to believe that she is! Its like Im forever in denial! I want her to be normal. I want to have a normal relationship with her and thats impossible because she isnt normal, she is sick." My poor hairdresser just agreed with me she didnt know what to say.

Thats the stress and its always there. Maybe its better now thank God, because she isnt living with us, but then we worry about her and the stress is always back again...................whats next??? Its always something happening.

Then, would you believe, when I came home and I was praying and trying to seek God and He was there for me too, telling me He loves me and there isnt anything wrong and dont worry just go ahead and fix dinner.............Lighten up He was saying to me.
What did I do?:(

I got online and tried to find that church that hurt me so much about my daughter, Just to see if that same pastor and his wife were there, hoping that they were far gone and truthfully, although I really DONT want anything bad to happen to anybody.........I kind of was hoping they were not doing what they were doing and that maybe, just maybe they could have just a little of my pain too! Yikes! :eek:

Ha, Of course they dont even advertise, dont have a web site, of course. I should already have figured that, so theres no way to tell whats happening with them.
What a silly lady I am.:o

I still know that I dont have an answer for what to do about my daughter and the way I keep shutting out the fact that she is sick and I get mad at her when she makes these irresponsible decisions.:mad:
Anyway yes my Mom was plenty strange and I sure do miss that little lady. I can tell you now my Mother was a victim rape and had never told a single soul until God healed us to the point that she opened up and told me. She did and said many strange things to me when I was young.......hurt me to the core.
If only all of us could be healed as much as I have been and my Mother was too, just by doing just what we do here..........opening up with Gods help and letting someone else love us and talk to us.
Thankyou all so much and please pray for me about these spells with my pooer daughter. I should respoind wiser than I do but its a journey isnt it? God isnt finished with me yet.:D
Oh Lord He has done so many wonderful things in my life.

Jerry
03-05-2006, 04:26 AM
Dear Hornblower,,,
I have difficulty understanding what you are trying to "Repent" from....For thoughts ????? For being human ???? Do you really think that God (a totally incaporial force of intellect so powerful,that He can call an entire universe into existance by the shear force of His will ) doesn't understand ????? When we "Repent",,,,we repent once and that's it,,,,,,,,God doesn't want to hear about it again ;) Your forgiven period........ ;) As far as your daughter I think the only way through it is through it...... You and your Mom and your Daughter should all get in the car and drive out of town a couple of hundred miles. Then stop at a nice Motel ( with all the bells & whistles) ,,,, get some "Peach Shnopps" and "Orange Juice" and do what you have been forgeting to do,,,,,,,COMMUNICATE !!! ,,,,have a real "Steel Magnolias" weekend ;)
Love Jerry

Theodora
03-05-2006, 05:26 AM
...so I wanted to acknowledge having read this post and to assure you that you and yours will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

I'm so thankful that you HAVE been able to post of late....FWIW...it does seem to me that you're doing a VERY good job of 1) being honest about "issues" and 2) doing the necessary work of healing. NO easy "answers" for any of this, for sure, but we do somehow gain the "tools" that we need EN ROUTE, I think...not the least of which is finding out that others CAN accept and love us as we are, even as you're doing for your daughter. (In spite of the difficulties you have with her, it occurs to me that I THINK she must know how very much you love and support her or she might perhaps be more "guarded" in her behavior...even though her illness doesn't give her much "normal" control of her impulses, as I've understood it from your previous posts. PERHAPS??? You understand what I mean? I remember the difficulty I had in communicating our experience with our older son with "professionals" because in "social settings,"/school etc., he WAS able to be a "well-behaved" young person. THEREFORE, when I told them of the "off-the-wall" behavior at home, the implication was that it must be something "wrong" at HOME to have caused that. WRONG!!!! Don't take on ANY of that "guilt!")

Must stop for now. Please do post as you can, KNOW THAT YOU ARE "WORTH IT" as we care for you and respond to your posts and yes....remember you ARE loved and held in prayer.

((((Hornblower)))))

Yours in Christ--

Theodora

--


Thankyou so much for replying to me. You were all such a help and I greatly appreciate it. As the day has rolled on by I am beginning to piece these things together about that dream. I cant really remember all of the dream except that I know I was being hunted and there was fear and I was scared of being murdered.

So now let me tell you how my day went to explain more. To begin with right before I went to sleep last night before that dream, I had another huge argument with my daughter. Sooner or later I always feel so guilty for these arguments. She called me this morning to ask me to forgive her. Bless her heart. Still though I shouldnt have gotten that mad at her.

Next thing is though Ive been really praying the last few days...getting back to the Lord. Part of that is repenting, always is for me anyway.

I went to have my hair done today and out it all came right there to my Christian hairdresser. "Im so tired of sinning over and over again, getting angry at my daughter and basically here's the problem........she is sick, and I dont want to believe that she is! Its like Im forever in denial! I want her to be normal. I want to have a normal relationship with her and thats impossible because she isnt normal, she is sick." My poor hairdresser just agreed with me she didnt know what to say.

Thats the stress and its always there. Maybe its better now thank God, because she isnt living with us, but then we worry about her and the stress is always back again...................whats next??? Its always something happening.

Then, would you believe, when I came home and I was praying and trying to seek God and He was there for me too, telling me He loves me and there isnt anything wrong and dont worry just go ahead and fix dinner.............Lighten up He was saying to me.
What did I do?:(

I got online and tried to find that church that hurt me so much about my daughter, Just to see if that same pastor and his wife were there, hoping that they were far gone and truthfully, although I really DONT want anything bad to happen to anybody.........I kind of was hoping they were not doing what they were doing and that maybe, just maybe they could have just a little of my pain too! Yikes! :eek:

Ha, Of course they dont even advertise, dont have a web site, of course. I should already have figured that, so theres no way to tell whats happening with them.
What a silly lady I am.:o

I still know that I dont have an answer for what to do about my daughter and the way I keep shutting out the fact that she is sick and I get mad at her when she makes these irresponsible decisions.:mad:
Anyway yes my Mom was plenty strange and I sure do miss that little lady. I can tell you now my Mother was a victim rape and had never told a single soul until God healed us to the point that she opened up and told me. She did and said many strange things to me when I was young.......hurt me to the core.
If only all of us could be healed as much as I have been and my Mother was too, just by doing just what we do here..........opening up with Gods help and letting someone else love us and talk to us.
Thankyou all so much and please pray for me about these spells with my pooer daughter. I should respoind wiser than I do but its a journey isnt it? God isnt finished with me yet.:D
Oh Lord He has done so many wonderful things in my life.

Jerry
03-05-2006, 05:36 AM
Dear Hornblower,,,
I have difficulty understanding what you are trying to "Repent" from....For thoughts ????? For being human ???? Do you really think that God (a totally incaporial force of intellect so powerful,that He can call an entire universe into existance by the shear force of His will ) doesn't understand ????? When we "Repent",,,,we repent once and that's it,,,,,,,,God doesn't want to hear about it again ;) Your forgiven period........ ;) As far as your daughter I think the only way through it is through it...... You and your Mom and your Daughter should all get in the car and drive out of town a couple of hundred miles. Then stop at a nice Motel ( with all the bells & whistles) ,,,, get some "Peach Shnopps" and "Orange Juice" and do what you have been forgeting to do,,,,,,,COMMUNICATE !!! ,,,,have a real "Steel Magnolias" weekend ;)
Love Jerry
Dear Hornblower,,,,,
I just reread this thread,,,,,,,I apologise Please excuse me....I misread your origional post that your referance to your Mom is in the past tence.I am very sorry :o
Love Jerry

Traveller
03-05-2006, 01:10 PM
Not sure if it is appropriate, and not sure if 'copying' is allowed here (and if it isn't I won't do it again), but I was listening to this song by Jill Phillips today and felt like pasting it into a post here for all to read ... hoping it will somehow encourage you.

When you start to doubt if you exist
God believes in you
Confounded by the evidence
God believes in you
When your light burns so dim
When your chances seem so slim
And you swear you don’t believe in Him
God believes in you

When you rise up just to fall again
God believes in you
Deserted by your closest friends
God believes in you
When you’re betrayed with a kiss
You turn your cheek to another fist
It does not have to end like this
God believes in you

Oh everything matters if anything matters at all
Everything matters no matter how big
No matter how small
Cause God believes in you
Oh God believes in you

When you’re so ashamed that you could die
God believes in you
And you can’t do right even though you try
God believes in you
Blessed are the ones who grieve
The ones who mourn, the ones who bleed
In sorrow you sow but in joy you reap
God believes in you

Blessed are the ones who grieve
The ones who mourn, the ones who bleed
In sorrow you sow but in joy you reap
God believes in you
Oh God believes in you