Need to just keep writing

[apike]

Just a recap. I was on staff in my home church and they decided to not refund my position this year. The way it was done left me reeling because I got a call on my vacation and noone gave me a headsup that it was coming. The reason was that giving was down and they couldn't fund my position the next year without the threat of going below some arbitrary amount in the general fund. This amount was supposedly stated in the constitution. Also I was told it was unconstitutional to ask for pledges to fund the position.

Well I went to the constitution and found neither of those things in it.

Also the Pastor then was going to present another person to be on staff in a part time capacity (not my old position) and I called him on it. It had entered my mind that his intention was to pull a switch all along (getting me out so he could hire this other person) and a board member actually had expressed his suspicions to me earlier. Well he waited a couple months and the recommendation went to the church a couple weeks ago to hire this person temporarily in a part time capacity. AND to pay for it with people making donations to it. Now it was not called pledging but thats what it is.

I have no problem with the staff person being hired. This is not a jealousy thing with me. It is how it was being done that gets me. And the half truths that are being told.

So yesterday I got a call from the nominating committee asking me if I would fill one of two positions on the leadership board that is now open. I said that I really needed to stay away from leadership for awhile and deal with finding a new job.
It did feel good to be asked and needed and that is so tempting for me. If I hadn't done the emotional work I would have felt guilty and gone right back to it.

Nothing wrong with waiting until I have all the information I need. I know God is a revealer of truth and if I don't see the whole picture now it is getting clearer.
Little by little other people are seeing the same things also.

Heard a good one.. "I'll either get what I want or I will get information."

I got a lot good suggestions here.

[SpinningHead]

What you said sounds like the past and future of the church we just left!

I have heard that they have their vicious eyes set on the new youth pastor they just hired about 2 years ago. They have removed their support from him where for the longest time he was the bomb! He'll be out the way they did to the previous youth pastor and the associate pastor..."we've decided not to renew their contract" and "that's all! G'nite Folks and thanks for c'omin'!" :mad: :mad: :mad:

[jane]

Is it legal to just pull a job out from under someone like that? Aren't there laws that protect people?

I mean, don't you have to get a notice or be able to collect unemployement or something?

How does someone pay their bills if all of a sudden their job is taken from them?

JEEZO.

In California I noticed......anywhere near Montebello? That is where our ex pastor ran to when he robbed people here.


Anyhow, I hope that you find employement quickly AND address what they did to you. Doesn't sound legal let alone christ like.

love,
jane

[Jerry]

Dear Apike,,,,
Isn't it interesting that these Pastors say they love when they don't ????? Rest assured that God has accepted your precious gifts ;)
Love Jerry

[apike]

Thank you all for your words. I hate to think bad things about people which is not helpful when their behavior is is out of line.

The church did give me two months severance and I have been using it to heal and let go. It has worked cause a lot of my depression has lifted and I am getting support elsewhere. And I am starting to want to take care of myself.

Jane, I don't know about legal recourse. I had no contract. But as far as addressing the matter I don't think anyone sees it the way I do, yet.

I wanted to think of my ministry as a gift but bottom line became money. One of my responses to the decision was that I could understand that giving was down and people getting in a panic and trying to find a solution but it also seemed like the change was made because the leadership didn't see what they wanted to see. Or the pastor didn't see what he wanted to see, ie growth in numbers and giving.
Course HIS position is dependent on the appearance of success.

Spinninghead, this has happened before more than once also. In fact I spoke up and ended up taking a leadership position for while because I did open my mouth about how the youth pastor got harrassed out over not being able to justified the money he was being paid.

Then it ended up happening to me when I got hired. Same thing, different method.

OK now the big question, how does one person end a cycle of abuse in a church?
I'm afraid one answer is to tell the truth. But to whom?
I have this fantasy of getting up in front of the whole church and telling everyone how I see it. What a nightmare image.:eek:

Andrea

[SpinningHead]

OK now the big question, how does one person end a cycle of abuse in a church?
I'm afraid one answer is to tell the truth. But to whom?
I have this fantasy of getting up in front of the whole church and telling everyone how I see it. What a nightmare image.:eek:
Andrea

You and me both!!! Bring the wine and we'll share in this fantasy!!!

We tried to tell the truth to anybody who'd listen...nuthin'. In the end the only conclusion we came up with was to take ourselves out of the equasion. An abuser has to have an abusee...we, my friend, were not going to be that abusee. Bub-bye like a blonde flight attendant kicking out the last drunk!

[hornblower]

Apike,
Im going to take a chance here and open up to say something that has been in my mind for some time.
This is it...........church as we know it here on this earth is basically a business.
Now here is the hurtful thing about that as if a business could be anything else but hurtful except for the pay check, if its a good one that is........lol.
A little humor there...very little I know.
Ok Heres the other thing..........how does it feel to supposedly be in a family that is now run like a business and BAM..........you're no longer wanted here?
Thats why it hurts. It would hurt if it was a job too but it hurts much more that its church. I know people (in my own family) that never went back to church for this same reason.
Im sorry Apike I know how this feels and Im sure it was your ministry, dont ever doubt it, I was ousted too........but you know what? It was so awful at that place, that I was devastatedly HAPPY that I was out of there!
God love you and find you a much better job with lots more money and social security too, which I never got...............no insurance, no nothing.

[apike]

It just keeps coming up, who are my gods? Who am I serving? Maybe being engaged in abusive relationships keeps me worshipping the wrong gods. Maybe healing means being drawn closer to Christ. I mean the Pastor hurts, the people hurt, I hurt. It's not God doing it, it's us.

Is this about being as wise as a serpent and gentle as a lamb?
:confused: :confused: