Welcome leelees

[Willow]

Just wanted to take a moment and let you know I see you and hear you.
Things were a bit rough on that thread. Perhaps you can jump into some more positive threads that aren't so triggering. Tell us about yourself and your experience...etc.

Once again... welcome here :)
Willow aka Amy

[gwen]

Just wanted to take a moment and let you know I see you and hear you.
Things were a bit rough on that thread. Perhaps you can jump into some more positive threads that aren't so triggering. Tell us about yourself and your experience...etc.

Once again... welcome here :)
Willow aka Amy

Hi leelees! I wanted to welcome you too. And I second what Willow (Amy) said...that was a bit of a rough thread and very triggering. But there are lots of other threads that are more positive and less threatening. Also, I have found that sharing about my own experience has been very helpful to me. Share as you feel comfortable! We look forward to hearing from you!

Gwen

[jane]

Welcome LEELEES!

I hope that you find what you are looking for here.

love,
jane

[ninaspirit]

Hi Leelees,

glad to see you here. welcome. Hope you find a comfy chair and stay awhile. :) ninas.

[mstar]

Welcome leelees. We look forward to hearing "your story" as you feel lead to share.:)

[butterfly]

:) Hi LeeLees, I hear you and understand how you feel about that thread. I feel the same way.
I have been here since March 2005. I have found love and understanding.
I hope you will not let that thread keep you away. Not often there are people who come in and write threads like that.
Feel free to share when you are ready. It took me along time to share. butterfly

[Jam Night]

Hi Leelees,

I hope you have a chance to read more of the thread "why the judgement" later on. I got an education. I FULLY understand how negatively that post effected people. I will probably be apologizing for another 6 months for that! (I guess that is recompense...?)

You will not find another post so aggresive from me on that site. You will find acceptance and love from me here. Understand that my background and culture is significantly different than the one presented here, and I spoke before truly understanding how communication happens here.

Folks that stick around here are GOOD people. And very FORGIVING...I KNOW. :)

So sorry you had to endure my ignorance, please read on!

[ex-shep]

I must have been out of town when the post ran. So I cannot comment there. I do extend a hearty welcome aboard. Feel free to share whatever you want. If you want to soak in the posts, go right ahead.

Make yourself at home. Glad you are here.

[leelees]

Wow,
thankyou all so much, i wasnt expectin a thread about me! lol-what a nice suprise!
First, appologies to jam...i was a wee bit fired-up when i wrote that!
I really dont wanna go on and bore you all to death but yeah,
First i have to point out that i wasnt perfect by any means and did a few things in my ex church which probably led to my exit from there- as i said i wont go in to them (in fact i know they did (and i did appologise an awful lot for what i did wrong)-and probably justified in some way what ex-pastor said to me)...
but ill put what ex pastor and one of the deacons said:
a deacon told me that he wasnt able to find a car for me to travel on the church holiday with because no one wanted me with them, which isnt true because i knew a couple of people who i dont think would have minded...actually no saying that i'm not so sure any more!
then ex P started sayin (it was pretty much him who said it all) some very hurtful and un called for things to me thats really scarred me and will stay with me for the rest of my life as will the above comment.
He said i was a really selfish person amongst other stuff and he was extremely annoyed when i told 2 other ppl i was leavin before him or the office bearers. After a lot of missed calls and visits to my door which i avoided he got me at home on the fone and started to tell me what an awful person i was for leaving, that i would never be happy in any relationships i had in the future and i would float around churches and never be settled or happy, and something along the lines of pushing my family into hell...he made me feel totally ashamed, unloved and guilty about everything...i still feel badly the guilt and shame, i feel like God hates me cos i left the church and didnt sort things out (but at the time i seriously couldnt stay), he called me a coward and a 'Peter', he also said that i would probably end up at Widcombe (the church i started goin to now) like everyone else who left my ex church as if Widcombe is some drop out place for evil apostates-so i tried to prove him wrong and not go to widcombe, but i realise now that its the best desicion ive made second to leavin the church! I constantly feel that God hates me! I do totally understand that i could have done things extremely differently to prevent all this happenin but im sure how ever hard i tried it would have happened anyway and i was made to feel through out my years at ex church that i never quite fitted in but they made sure they were accommodating enough not to be accussed of being the opposite and that i was the one who has the problem and everything i do that goes wrong or pear shaped both now or in the future was because i didnt stay!
Once i left every single person from church has dropped me, they dont even acknowledge me or speak or fone to see how i am doing, someone sent my mum a Christmas card but i didnt hear a thing from any of them at Christmas, nor any phone call at new year to wish me a good or an OK 2006 at the very least!
I find it extremely hard to trust people now and am really scared that this would happen again in any other church i went to and i find it very hard to talk to others about it because i am scared that i would be thought of as the one who is really unchristian and that God is right to hate me for what i did. and im petrified of the ex P...i used to be very scared of goin to sleep incase i went to hell for what happened and i had a dream the other night that ex P was shouting at me. I feel somewhat brain-washed from them and very hurt and very angry! Im worried that somehow ex P would track me down and he wud be told that i was there because he said that wherever i go the minister would fone him up and ex P would tell him exactly what i was like and how awful i am..makes me cringe just thinkin about that cos he said that would happen at each church i went to!
Well my attempt to keep it short failed...My mouth must be more full of rubbish then i thought!
I wasnt gonna post on this site but just take a look sometimes but hey, i have so never mind!
Thanks all for takin the time towelcome me, it means a lot!
leanne

[Carmen]

Hi leelees, welcome! :)

I know where you are coming from. I heard some of the same stuff from the pastor that SA'd me. I was afraid he would call up other pastors and warn them about me, in one case I think he might have, I went to another church in the area where I think the service was aimed at me, obedience sermon, and a "prophecy" that was given about me - with my name :rolleyes: . I told a friend that I would go there that Sunday and I think it "leaked". When I go there at all now, I don't announce I'm going, but just show up. Don't tell your right hand what your left hand is doing. No more pre-arranged "prophecies" and I keep up on all the false stuff going on there. I only go to be with my friends that go there, and to see other Christians once in a while - but that church is steeped in error. I don't recommend going to such places, do it more for research purposes. I know exactly what is wrong with their doctrine - so consider myself to be mostly immune to it. It is not like I go there every Sunday, just once every month or two or even three.

You're not full of rubbish, what you think and feel are relevant and important.

Carmen

[gwen]

Dear leelees,

I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of that! I cringed as I read your post because my former "pastor" would talk to me like that too and I know exactly how you feel! First of all, I want to tell you that YOU are NOT a bad person!!! (I don't care what you've done, God loves you, values you, and sent his son, Jesus, to die on the cross for you!) But when we don't obey these "pastors", they want us to think that we're bad! And in my case, even when I hadn't done anything wrong, he would twist something that I'd said or done and still make me out to be the "bad guy"! I guess that was to keep me in line, constantly groveling, and humble! I was pretty popular in the "church" and he didn't want me to get too much glory...he wanted all eyes focused on him, so he had to make me look bad...oh well, let's just say, I can really identify with you!

Our family left our "church" in August 2004. I've experienced the same things that you have...the fear of what the "pastor" would do, the shunning by the members who are still there, the lack of trusting people now. We are going to a different church now and for quite awhile I would have these fears that our former "pastor" would show up one morning there and make a scene! He never did and I realize now that he talks "big" and threatening, but he's really a coward.

I'm glad that you have posted! This is a great place to converse with people! Also, I hope that you know, despite what has been said to you by those people at your former "church", you are a valuable person with worthwhile things to say. Your mouth is not full of rubbish! The rubbish is the way they treated you!!!

Welcome aboard, again, and I wish for you that 2006 will be a WONDERFUL year for you! And a year for much healing from your spiritual abuse!

((((((((leelees))))))))))

Love, Gwen

[Jerry]

Dear leelees,,,
GOD DOES NOT HATE YOU,,,,,,,what God hates is the guy that told you that ;)
Love Jerry

[Willow]

Hi leelees! I'm glad you talked and got that out into the open. It's a shame what some pastors do to try to control people. You didn't even owe him a goodbye... much less an explanation about why you didn't talk to him first. People like you and I who don't fit into the churchiness mode can easily get ostracized. This is just an indication of how incredibly narrow and unintelligent your pastor and his peeps are.

Hang in there... I'm glad you found the church your pastor indirectly pointed you to. Sounds like JUST the place to be. I mean... if ex pastor hates it... it must be good!

[jane]

My mouth must be more full of rubbish then i thought!


I read NOTHING in your post that would make me think that your mouth was anything of the sort.

I am so terribly troubled by what you went through.

You are so much more stronger than me, I didn't go to any other churches because our pastor does contact them locally and "gives them a heads up"-
gossip if you ask me, but no one did.

anyway,welcome.....

I think of the scripture about pouring joy over your head from collecting your tears...

I think that what you are writting is that, tears....go ahead and give them up as an offering, I believe that you will be blessed when they are poured out upon your head as joy.....

worship your Lord in Spirit and in TRUTH....speak out exactly what you feel, it is the TRUTH and don't worry if it sounds like slander- GOD won't fall off his thone.

What ever sin that you feel you committed--- well, when I read the bible it says that JESUS DIED FOR IT.

it is abusive pastors that make us feel like some sins are unforgiveable- (like talking about them.....WHERE DOES IT SAY NOT TO TALK ABOUT A PASTOR"S ACTIONS?????)

bless you and welcome,

love,
jane

[leelees]

This is just an indication of how incredibly narrow and unintelligent your pastor and his peeps are.



but the funny thing is that he is a former social worker...does that explain anything? i mean, is he able to learn from anything he observed as a social worker to use on people in church? that was just a random question i thought of!
I always thought it was just me that this happened to but im meetin more and more people as time goes on who have had the same...i wish my friend would post on here then he can tell you the same as e so you'd know that im not just sayin it!..he went to my old church!
thankyou for the number of replies, no one seemed to say much on sosa so i gave up with that!
thankyu again for the thread, i feel sort of important!!
God b x leanne

[ninaspirit]

but the funny thing is that he is a former social worker...does that explain anything? i mean, is he able to learn from anything he observed as a social worker to use on people in church? that was just a random question i thought of!
I always thought it was just me that this happened to but im meetin more and more people as time goes on who have had the same...i wish my friend would post on here then he can tell you the same as e so you'd know that im not just sayin it!..he went to my old church!
thankyou for the number of replies, no one seemed to say much on sosa so i gave up with that!
thankyu again for the thread, i feel sort of important!!
God b x leanne


Hi Leelees,

glad you are here.

we know you're not just saying it. people don't just make stuff like that up. :) ninas.

[jjc9497]

thankyu again for the thread, i feel sort of important!!
God b x leanne



Of course you are important! Where do they get these guys from that they put in the pulpit these days? If you are so bad that you are going to hell, then what Christ did on the cross was not sufficient. If Christ is not sufficient, we're all going to hell--including that pastor. (You can tell him that for me if you get the chance.)

Several months after we left our last church, a girl who was living with us and still attending there got into trouble (not pregnant--just in trouble). She was afraid to meet with the pastor alone, so guess who got to go along. We met in a restaurant and of course, he started in on her. I could tell the moment she shut down. I had the nerve :eek: to interupt the pastor and send her to the bathroom. Then I told him she had had enough, we were done and to take us home. You should have seen the look on his face!!! I DARED to boss him! He called my house a few days later to talk me (as in enlist my help to get at her and teach her the error of her ways). I told him no. He then started shouting at me. I HUNG UP :D :D :D I had just enough time to warn her and he called back ( I answered :D ) and he asked to speak to her. I very politely said "sure" and gave her the phone. Boy, did she give him a piece of her mind!!!! It was extremely satisfying.

[Janice]

WELCOME LEELEES! Yes you ARE important and you DO matter! This is a good place!

[Jerry]

thankyu again for the thread, i feel sort of important!!
God b x leanne
Dear leelees,,,,
That reminded me of a quote that will give you a smile,it did me as I remembered it,,,,,,,"When ya start to thinkin how important ya are,,,,,try orderin someone elses dog around " :D ,,,,,,,,,,,,Will Rodgers,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,LOL
Love Jerry

[Willow]

...i wish my friend would post on here then he can tell you the same as e so you'd know that im not just sayin it!..he went to my old church!


Hey... just wanted you to know that you are believed here. You are valued. No need to try to prove anything. We believe you and accept you. No hoops to jump here.

I don't know what to say about him being a former social worker... thank god it's a FORMER position. However... a person that uses knowledge that is supposed to be fore healing and turns it around for use in manipulation... is a bad person and should not be in the ministry.

[Enochwar]

Well my attempt to keep it short failed...My mouth must be more full of rubbish then i thought!
I wasnt gonna post on this site but just take a look sometimes but hey, i have so never mind!
Thanks all for takin the time towelcome me, it means a lot!
leanne[/QUOTE]



Hi and welcome....

I know how you feel....I've been made to keep silent so long that I often erupt...:D

Post as often as you feel the need...this is a good place.

Enochwar. out.:)

[leelees]

I HUNG UP.


cor i wish i had done that!