Panic and Anxiety

[Jam Night]

Has anyone ever dealt with panic and high anxiety? My close friend is gradually suffering more and more from panic attacks and real high anxiety. He is thinking about starting therapy, which I think is a good idea, but I wonder what else I can do to help as his friend.

I've dealt with high stress - but nothing like this!

[SpinningHead]

Has anyone ever dealt with panic and high anxiety? My close friend is gradually suffering more and more from panic attacks and real high anxiety. He is thinking about starting therapy, which I think is a good idea, but I wonder what else I can do to help as his friend.

I've dealt with high stress - but nothing like this!


Hi Jam Night,

Brother did YOU ask us the RIGHT question!! Absolutely!! and it is a horrible horrible feeling! If the panic is related to an incident such as spiritual abuse, most likely your friend is experiencing PTSD - post traumatic stress disorder. Starting therapy is a very good and healthy idea!

[Joseph]

I think therapy is a great idea, I watched my father give himself a heart attack due to panic attacks and high stress, he has a hard time taking a ten minute ride in a car, so yes, therapy would be good. My brother had some success treating him with natural herbs and vitamins to bring his body back to a healthy balance. That helped the stress alot and by which alleviated the panic attacks.

Joe

[SpinningHead]

My brother had some success treating him with natural herbs and vitamins to bring his body back to a healthy balance. That helped the stress alot and by which alleviated the panic attacks.


There are a lot of healthy natural ways one can add to therapy to bring the body back into balance and process stress in a healthy way. I'm a huge fan of herbs, teas, vitamins and changing one's diet to process stress in better ways. Lot to be said for God's green earth!

[Theodora]

...but I did want to support the ideas you've already received. As someone who has dealt with extensive food allergies and chemical sensitivities, I would also alert you to the idea that sometimes the body's reaction to these "hidden" offenders CAN mimic an "emotional" problem. Almost 20 years ago now, I had a break-down in my health which had various physical causes, but I remember that when I was taken off some of the foods to which I had become allergic without my knowing it, my general state of "tension"/"anxiety" ALSO went away. With that in mind, if your friend had a hair sample analysis done, this might suggest a way to address some problems with supplementation etc. For me, at the moment, "taurine," which is a calming neuro-transmittor, is helping me get better rest etc.--- I think! (This was "prescribed" after a hair sample analysis for me. My problem is that I've had a LOT of trouble taking ANY kind of supplements, but this one seems to be working.)

Your friend is fortunate to HAVE you as a friend and concerned about how to help. Sometimes when we're SO "knocked down," it's really hard to know where and how to LOOK for the help that we need.

Good luck to you and your friend in your quest for healing!

Theodora

P.S. As a person who fits the "highly sensitive" range---see previous threads on this forum about this---I HAVE noticed that when I am particularly tired that I am MORE prone to having something similar to an "anxiety attack"--e.g. in having a tightening in the stomach which alerts me to something being "WRONG" in the situation. Sometimes I have the energy to "cope" with this; at other times, recognizing that I am being "triggered" by something, means giving myself "permission" to withdraw until there's a better time for all. It's not ALWAYS necessary to engage the "battle!"

--


Has anyone ever dealt with panic and high anxiety? My close friend is gradually suffering more and more from panic attacks and real high anxiety. He is thinking about starting therapy, which I think is a good idea, but I wonder what else I can do to help as his friend.

I've dealt with high stress - but nothing like this!

[Pinkie Pie]

I'm starting to figure out that it is a combination of stuff too. (Mostly learned from reading what others here experience). I'm starting to put a connection together between being tired/hungry, and anxiety attacks. Plus the PTSD that I am recovering from because of spiritual abuse as well as emotional abuse from my past. And apparently the anxiety I have been experiencing was noticeable enough to my doctor that he put me on a mild anti-anxiety medication. I hadn't even said anything to him.

The medication has helped tremendously, and now I am taking a look at my diet which I know isn't all that great, to see what I can do differently.

I had a MAJOR panic attack after church Sunday that caught me totally by surprise. I can pinpoint what triggered it, but my reaction to the incident totally threw me. I felt like I had lost all control. I became real withdrawn and paranoid, and then clingy with my pastor's wife, and the whole time I felt like a complete fool and idiot and was convinced everyone else thought so too. And I had been doing so well! I was so upset with myself. I hadn't taken my medicine in a couple of days and was mad that it was even necessary, but I went ahead and took it when I got home (after crying hysterically the whole way home and wishing I could kill myself just to make my brain stop going crazy) and after about half an hour I felt much calmer and half-way normal.

But now since then (2 days now) I feel so much shame. I don't even want to face my pastor's wife because I am convinced she thinks I am a total nut case. I don't want the other members to see me because they saw me standing off by myself all quiet and withdrawn and a couple asked me what was wrong, and I was in this zombie state and said "nothing". Even though inside I felt like I was losing my mind.

Does anyone else feel shame after you have a panic or anxiety attack? How do you recover from it? I want to just hide away from the whole world for about a month.

[Theodora]

...and I hope you CAN give yourself credit for all you're learning about yourself and DON'T give in to any thoughts of "shame" about you're being the way you are. It IS what it IS...and you're learning how to deal with it, so what others "think" about you really doesn't matter! If you feel that "THEY" are likely to talk about you or "shame" you further ...or somehow make you "explain" yourself, then perhaps it's best just to find someplace else for now. You can't always "orchestrate" the time frame for your healing--and certainly "logic" will not win the day on this one!

I was surprised to find that I could not even listen to a tape of a service at a church where I had previously been fairly regular in attendance and participated in the choir, since just HEARING the voice of the deacon who had publicly "chastised" me during an announcement I was making re some work I was doing for the church, was too much of a "trigger" for me. (That's what I call my own mini-version of a "panic attack.") Right now, though it's NOT a question of "forgiveness" for me, it's just "healthier" if I don't TRY to engage the situation.
Hence, in part, THIS Christmas, my husband and I sang in the choir at a different church and so were able to enjoy the music and the holiday without the worry of "what would people say" with regard to this previous "mess"---if, indeed, they even remembered. I've no doubt that it's NOT such a "big deal" for most people, but my heightened "sensitivity button" is just too close to the surface right now for me to chance this.

All of this..."FWIW!" Again...do give yourself credit for all you're learning about yourself and do what YOU need to do FOR YOU!!!

Grace and peace--

Theodora

--


I'm starting to figure out that it is a combination of stuff too. (Mostly learned from reading what others here experience). I'm starting to put a connection together between being tired/hungry, and anxiety attacks. Plus the PTSD that I am recovering from because of spiritual abuse as well as emotional abuse from my past. And apparently the anxiety I have been experiencing was noticeable enough to my doctor that he put me on a mild anti-anxiety medication. I hadn't even said anything to him.

The medication has helped tremendously, and now I am taking a look at my diet which I know isn't all that great, to see what I can do differently.

I had a MAJOR panic attack after church Sunday that caught me totally by surprise. I can pinpoint what triggered it, but my reaction to the incident totally threw me. I felt like I had lost all control. I became real withdrawn and paranoid, and then clingy with my pastor's wife, and the whole time I felt like a complete fool and idiot and was convinced everyone else thought so too. And I had been doing so well! I was so upset with myself. I hadn't taken my medicine in a couple of days and was mad that it was even necessary, but I went ahead and took it when I got home (after crying hysterically the whole way home and wishing I could kill myself just to make my brain stop going crazy) and after about half an hour I felt much calmer and half-way normal.

But now since then (2 days now) I feel so much shame. I don't even want to face my pastor's wife because I am convinced she thinks I am a total nut case. I don't want the other members to see me because they saw me standing off by myself all quiet and withdrawn and a couple asked me what was wrong, and I was in this zombie state and said "nothing". Even though inside I felt like I was losing my mind.

Does anyone else feel shame after you have a panic or anxiety attack? How do you recover from it? I want to just hide away from the whole world for about a month.

[Kerrin]

There are a lot of healthy natural ways one can add to therapy to bring the body back into balance and process stress in a healthy way. I'm a huge fan of herbs, teas, vitamins and changing one's diet to process stress in better ways. Lot to be said for God's green earth!

While I think these are great 'starters' and DO help some...........for me, when I started having severe anxiety attacks , (leaving grocery trolley full of groceries in the middle of the supermarket 'cos I thought I was "going to die", I would have to get up extra early just to calm down before I could go to work, and sometimes I woud 'panic' and make an excuse and not go, ......etc. etc....stupid irrational fear.....I didn't know what was going on, and almost became agorophobic, wouldn't answer the phone, or the door etc....even going to the mail box was a monumental intellectual task!!
( Unfortunatly Amy has emulated this behaviour..........as in won't answer the phone or the door....I am working on that with her.....it's my bad example...:( ).
A bit like Theodora, I too, would 'panic' at hearing a sermon of any sort, if I saw anyone from my old Church I would literally feel sick and run the other way........
So, I tried LOTS of natural stuff. Didn't work.
I went to my Doctor and two years ago she said I had PTSD, as a result of all my childhood abuse, and the subsequent male abusive relationships, including my very abusive marriage.
I din't believe her, but went to counselling anyway.
One year later, my anxiety is greatly reduced and while I still require my weekly sessions, I am re-gaining control of my life.
I know it's a cliche` , but exercise , in my case , walking to the beach, is the best anti-anxiety agent.........I am being weaned off my Valium, (down to 8 mg a day now, and hopefully in a few months none!!).
My biggest problem is not being able to sleep, that seems to be when my anxiety is at it's peak; but now I'm starting to introduce the natural stuff, such as herbal teas, aromatherapy, massage, baths, and candles etc....soft background worship music and prayer!!!!
I have joined the gym some months ago and went for a few weeks, so , now I'm ready to go at least once or twice a week , I think......
"The maker's Diet" was recommended for my Crohn's, and I have been following it, so I really DO believe THAT is helping too.........my prednsiolone now down to 4.5 mg every alternate day!!!!

Oh, and I don't run in the opposite direction anymore if I see anyone from my old church, now I smile and say "hi" , (if they let me..most still think I'm "posessed!"), and feel pity.....
It's all been offered as advice to me here before , but until now, I wasn't ready to start 'caring ' for me, it is, so far, a good start to the New Year.....
Short answer, counselling is a good start together with whatever works natuarally!
It all takes time! There is NO quick fix!!)
Love
Kerrin;)

P.S Theodora, today, I am taking myself for a manicure , a spa pedicure/massage!!! And I don't feel guilty or panicky!!!
That's a triumph for me!
Thanks to you guys and my counsellor!

[SpinningHead]

for me, when I started having severe anxiety attacks , (leaving grocery trolley full of groceries in the middle of the supermarket 'cos I thought I was "going to die"...

I HAVE DONE THAT!!!! Only it was in clothing stores like TJ Maxx and I've left the cart full of whatever and had to leave! Thank you so much for sharing that!!

It all takes time! There is NO quick fix!!)


I completely agree with you on this. It does take time and there is no quick fix. I've learned there shouldn't be either. It should take as much time as healing needs.

Eating naturally and supplementing with teas, herbs, diet, vitamins, etc. is only the small part of healing that contributes in some small way to the overall process...even if it's what I can control today. And even if it all just helps my energy to deal with the day's issues. Over time I've seen the difference of those daily choices.

But extra-seriously, thank you Kerrin for sharing your panic in a store. My first episode left me shaking, crying, terrified in a changing room in my underwear! The lovely changing room hand-you-those-plastic-numbers grandma type lady recognized what was going on...she helped me get dressed, put the clothes away for me, walked me to my car (b/c I refused her to call an ambulance) where I sat for over an hour until I thought I could drive the 2 minute-drive home. It was the worst feeling in the world! Since then I've had to leave stores immediately. But I've learned I do better if it's on the weekday when they're not crowded and they have to be organized...I don't have patience to sort through chaos. They also must have a big store-front glass facade. NO MALLS FOR ME unless I can get in and out w/in a short time frame. How absoolutely stupid I feel about it!

[Kerrin]

Since then I've had to leave stores immediately. But I've learned I do better if it's on the weekday when they're not crowded and they have to be organized...I don't have patience to sort through chaos.Spinning head

Thanks for sharing this!!
That's exactly HOW I am.
I can't deal with the chaos of a busy mall either!!
Only recently, I took Amy shopping to a particular surf shop and I started hyper- ventilating ,and couldn't see straight, felt sick, it was awful, I told Amy I was having an "attack" and would be back.........I had to leave and find the ladies room , and it was 20 minutes before I went back, got Amy and left!!!
( Amy is getting used to me now, and shrugs it off, or asks, " am I ok"?, and I feel guilty for being so foolish......:( :confused: ).
I guess that's why I love the beach so much...........all that open space between me and the horizon......
(I get claustrophobic and panicky, driving in land, I have to go up the coastal road where I 'know' the ocean is somewhere close..)
(It was also one of the reasons I could never work in the O.R, despite being assigned there a LOT, especially for Trauma cases.........I couldn't 'see' a window or outside, it was hell for me..)
A day at a time, you're right, and what works today , may NOT 'fit', or work, for tomorrow.........
Love
Kerrin:o

[SpinningHead]

I guess that's why I love the beach so much...........all that open space between me and the horizon......


yes! Lot's of space, lot's of breathing room, peaceful & quiet...but I don't like the over-crowded beaches. That's why I love the beaches in RI - some are insane with people but then there are some that are so tranquil.

[mstar]

Thank you for this thread and your solutions to this problem. Where I am right now, just trying to discuss my panic/anixiety attacks is still a trigger for another attack. Praying about a physical after daughter goes back to school at the end of this week. Will print this thread out for some ideas in hope they may help. Sorry you all are going through this and the trama that set it off. It sure can be hard.

[Pinkie Pie]

....even going to the mail box was a monumental intellectual task!!...


Thank you soooo much for sharing this (along with everything else, but this really hit home for me). I will let the mail pile up in my mail box for a week before I go get it. And then when I do, I let it sit in my car for another few days before I start going through it. I have my bill due dates mentally logged so I know how far I can push the envelope (no pun intended!) before I go through my mail. But for so long I have thought WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME????, why I can't do something as simple as pick up my mail everyday or even every other day. I'm sure my mail lady either thinks I travel or that I'm nuts. The old "You are not spiritual - you are letting the devil run your mind" tapes will try to play.

And now I understand why I often would rather go to one of the drugstore chains to get things like milk, juice, etc. and pay a higher price, than go to the supermarket to buy it. It's because it's so much more quiet, organized, slow paced, etc. and smaller. Less stimulation to deal with.

[Jam Night]

Thank you so much for the understanding. Sorry I haven't posted so much lately, I have been incredibly busy lately.

When you (anyone reading this) were going through panic or anxiety attacks, what helped you calm down DURING the attack?

My friend is taking some natural stuff...I don't know what exactly, and TRAZODONE. The trazadone seems a little scary...he's only supposed to be on it for 2-3 months though.

When he is panicking he feels overwhelming guilt and fears that he will lose his mind. Thank you all for your input, it helps!

[SpinningHead]

When you (anyone reading this) were going through panic or anxiety attacks, what helped you calm down DURING the attack?


While you're in one, not much can help at the time other than telling yourself what you know..."Breath! You know you this is not big deal...you know you can get to your car...you know you can leave at any time...you know you've survived a lot worse than this" Focus on my breathing...Deep one in....slowly let it out...deep one in...slowly let it out. But I still have to work through it...I sometimes say over & over.."let it pass...this will pass...let it pass...this is not who I am today...let it pass"

The trick is doing the internal-self work in between attacks to lesson the attacks or their immobilizing impact. They have lessoned for me (2 years of God blessed therapy!) I also increase my "feel good" moments so that I feel better about my choices today more than I feel bad about any bad ones I've made in the past.

During an attack I learned how to "put the bad overwhelming feeling aside for a healthier time to address it". And later when I am in a better place, I talk to someone about it, tell them what I went through, how I was feeling about it, explore the triggers and talk about what I want for Next time. That has helped a lot!

I'll also say that I have given myself permission to say, "this is starting to trigger me and I need to leave". No big deal...I can leave.

In your friend's case the question is "overwhelming guilt about what?" and he should consider exploring that with a therapist. Addressing the guilt in a safe non-attached place can be the beginning to a different maybe healthier place.

ok...I'm sure others want to talk now. They have helped me a lot on this site. For me I didn't think I was going to loose my mind as I did feel like my heart and lungs would explode out of my chest. Thank you to all who've shared your stories so openly.

[Kerrin]

Thank you soooo much for sharing this (along with everything else, but this really hit home for me). I will let the mail pile up in my mail box for a week before I go get it. And then when I do, I let it sit in my car for another few days before I start going through it. I have my bill due dates mentally logged so I know how far I can push the envelope (no pun intended!) before I go through my mail. But for so long I have thought WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME????, why I can't do something as simple as pick up my mail everyday or even every other day. I'm sure my mail lady either thinks I travel or that I'm nuts. The old "You are not spiritual - you are letting the devil run your mind" tapes will try to play.

And now I understand why I often would rather go to one of the drugstore chains to get things like milk, juice, etc. and pay a higher price, than go to the supermarket to buy it. It's because it's so much more quiet, organized, slow paced, etc. and smaller. Less stimulation to deal with.

THAT was/is me TOO, Pinkie!!!:eek:
I 'tried' shopping at a big grocery store yesterday, I insisted Amy come with me, I talked incessantly , mostly nonsense, I think, and couldn't wait to get out and.......breathe........:o :confused:
( Amy was more than irritated!!!).
I thought Amy was on the handle end of the trolley and I was pulling from the front; she let go and wandered off down the Chip aisle, and I kept talking....wasn't until the trolley veered into a woman , who yelled at me, I realised; I was mortified , apologised profusely, couldn't see Amy , and blubbered something about "I thought my daughter was on the other end..." madly glancing around , ("where is she???"), woman getting really angry , Amy appeared and , me still apologising, yelled at her for taking off, and Amy looking at me like I had lost ALL my marbles totally.....................:eek:
(I recall making a mental note: "no more shopping in BIG supermarkets"!!!! "Too scary").

And of course THIS is good too, but it's taking me a LOooooNG time to be able to practice ....
SpinningHead:[/B]]While you're in one, not much can help at the time other than telling yourself what you know..."Breath! You know you this is not big deal...you know you can get to your car...you know you can leave at any time...you know you've survived a lot worse than this" Focus on my breathing...Deep one in....slowly let it out...deep one in...slowly let it out. But I still have to work through it...I sometimes say over & over.."let it pass...this will pass...let it pass...this is not who I am today...let it pass"

The trick is doing the internal-self work in between attacks to lesson the attacks or their immobilizing impact. They have lessoned for me (2 years of God blessed therapy!) I also increase my "feel good" moments so that I feel better about my choices today more than I feel bad about any bad ones I've made in the past.

Spinning Head:I'll also say that I have given myself permission to say, "this is starting to trigger me and I need to leave". No big deal...I can leave. .

It's taken a long time to feel "ok" about giving myself permision, and control over a situation, and I'm still learning: this place here, the Forum, has been good practise for the big wide world!
I am learning to have "Escape plans..."
PANIC: as in right now, Amy' s best friend is coming for dinner........my heart rate has escalated, and I 'feel" sick and "unsafe" . scared, guilty.........hmmmm; guilt has always accompanied my panic too, I think there is an inherent fear I've been bad!!!
Probably those old tapes, "Kerrin is a loser, Kerrin is a 'naughty' little girl, Kerrin can't do ANYTHING right", "Why can't Kerrin be nice and quiet like her little sister?"..etc.....:(

For now what appears to be working, is setting myself ,(very), small goals for each day.
One has been to collect the mail, and I pray God will bless my mail, and if I don't quite make it to collect it ,despite it being a 5 step walk away, I DON't crucify myself anymore, for not meeting my 'goal'........another one is, I am walking to the beach every day.......today that was hard, I 'felt' bad, I was anxious and panicky, which made my heart pump faster so I didn't enjoy it like I usually do..........I don't know why, I thought people were staring at me thinking, .........I don't know what I thought they were thinking,......and I'm sure no-one was remotely interested in my walking, ; it is highly irrational and egocentric..............BUT I'm working on it...:o
"I don't have to be perfect", "I am ok", "I can't 'fix' everyone, or everything", "I don't have to be a perfect cook, perfect mother, or anything ", .........these are some of my new tapes:o
Anyway, I thought I was going to have to sign out mid way through this post, and I made it ALL the way, so THANK YOU guys.......YOU are helping me to overcome my fears.....
Love
Kerrin;)
I DO believe exercise is a key, it's th DOING that is the hard part..........
( I joined our local gym, on my first visit, Minister, (Pastor), from my old Church and his wife were there:eek: , I haven't been back YET!!):(

[Jerry]

Does anyone else feel shame after you have a panic or anxiety attack? How do you recover from it? I want to just hide away from the whole world for about a month.
Dear Pinkie Pie,,,,
Geeze,,,,,don't go hide away for a month ,,,,,then they really WILL think your a nut-case :D Sweetie,,,most people experience one or more of these attacks at some time in their lives.It isn't that abnormal,,,,it just feels that way.If someone asks what was wrong,,,,,without going into a lot of detail,,,,just say that you had a panic/anxiety attack,I bet most will answer,,,,"I have had those,,,they are a killer !!" If these attacks persist,,,then yes you must address the problem.I just have a sence from your post that your worrying too much too soon...Shame ???,,Don't even go there :D ,,,,,it's like excusing yourself for being "human" ;)
Love Jerry