A Decorating Idea for a Mega-Church Christmas Pageant

[mstar]

I know I am suppose to be studing on cult/mind control, but I couldn't resisit this one.

Daughter sent me this link showing a house in Ohio that had programed their Christmas lights to music. The neighbors had to get a court order to shut them down.

Anyway, another of my "mad musings";
The house remindered me of some of the season's glitzy Christmas church pageants (some around here come complete with square dancers).


http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=xHTbBkyBY7A


I think I need to go repent.

[ex-shep]

I got chuckle out of that one. I do not think I would want to live next door to them. I feel sorry for any epileptics in the neighbourhood. Ten points that was good:D

If I had to look for bizarrely humourous things when I first got out of my groups, I see no reason why you can't have fun.

One group of ex-members from Tammy's group had a serious of ex-members jokes which were certainly on a par with some of the "How Many __________ does it take to change a light bulb" jokes. Unfortunately telling here would divulge the name of the group.

But here is one from the Bible School. Gallagher and Shehan never had so good.

"Hey, Brother Shep"

"Yes, Bro Bob"

"I hear Brother Smith is upset with the lack of recruits in the tract team"

"Yeah, he wants us to witness at Union Station"

"You mean he wants pass out train tracts?"

"That or go to the airport to tell the plane truth". Ba-DA-Boom!!

Now if any one can find a copy of Help! My Guru Died. We will be all set.

[Satscout]

I saw articles about this on TV; the first one I saw a few days ago showed the homeowner saying he was impressed at the attention it was getting but he would shut it off if it caused trouble. A few days later - on a different network - I saw another clip about the same scene. He was back on the news because the local authorities had asked him to shut it off because it was causing some major traffic problems in their neighborhood. He complied immediately. No lawsuit was involved, as far as I know.

But still, impressive, wasn't it? :) The lights were silent if you were there; the music was broadcast over an FM radio station and you had to be tuned in to get the full effect.

[mstar]

Now if any one can find a copy of Help! My Guru Died. We will be all set.


That was a good one. :D

What is "Help! My Guru Died"? Or are you kidding.

BTW finally ordered the cult/mind control books tonight. Progress. Now if they will only be delivered before another crisis and I have still have the sanity to read them.

Do you know what the "Boston Movement" is? Saw it referred to on one of the cult sights. Church Of Christ? This is new to me.

[Janice]

ROFL :D

[Enochwar]

I saw this on TV a few nights ago. They said they have no sound now. Passers by are asked to tune to a certain radio station to hear the music and they turn off the lights by 10pm.

At least the neighbors don't have to drive far to see the light show. :D

[Carmen]

That was a good one. :D

What is "Help! My Guru Died"? Or are you kidding.

BTW finally ordered the cult/mind control books tonight. Progress. Now if they will only be delivered before another crisis and I have still have the sanity to read them.

Do you know what the "Boston Movement" is? Saw it referred to on one of the cult sights. Church Of Christ? This is new to me.
Here is something I translated a few years back. Go to the section on Kip McKean.
Get if off the net quick, I think my site may be offline tomorrow - for a few days or weeks.

http://www.jamesfive19.com/Self-Proclaimed_Shepherds.html

I am not for a kitchy Christmas, but the kids love it - as long as it doesn't cost money....

[ex-shep]

Here is something I translated a few years back. Go to the section on Kip McKean.
Get if off the net quick, I think my site may be offline tomorrow - for a few days or weeks.

http://www.jamesfive19.com/Self-Proclaimed_Shepherds.html

I am not for a kitchy Christmas, but the kids love it - as long as it doesn't cost money....


Saved it as a word file for research.

[ex-shep]

That was a good one. :D

What is "Help! My Guru Died"? Or are you kidding.

BTW finally ordered the cult/mind control books tonight. Progress. Now if they will only be delivered before another crisis and I have still have the sanity to read them.

Do you know what the "Boston Movement" is? Saw it referred to on one of the cult sights. Church Of Christ? This is new to me.

No, the book is out of print. It did have a "cult" following among those in the anti-cult movement when it was in print.

There is more information on the Boston Movement aka International Church of Christ for one to swallow.

ICSA has tons of information off their website including links and books on the topic. The main problem was discipleship to control of one's activity to the point of exhaustion. The church and campus fellowships have been banned from several college campuses accross the country. I know ex-leaders who can testify to revealing everything to the Bible talk leaders.

They are also adept at heavenly deception. Do not reveal everything until one is fully indoctrinated. I had one member sell me baseball tickets saying his fraternity brothers could not make it. As soon as I took the tickets I was told he was with the Cincinnnati Church of Christ. The tickets were genuine. The ushers tore them and sent my wife and I through the turnstiles. Needless to say, we watch the game from behind first base. The score. Cincinnati 8 Chicago 4, Married Couple 2 Church of Christ zip.

[mstar]

He complied immediately. No lawsuit was involved, as far as I know.


Thanks for the correct info. . .I stand corrected. Sorry for wrong info.

Guess it was one of those,
"I heard that they had said, who had heard what so and so had said, who heard from. . ." who knows.

[Carmen]

Oh, I forgot to list this link for stuff on the Boston Church of Christ and ICC: http://www.reveal.org/. I knew I had it somewhere on the SA page, just had to find it. There is so much to keep track of...I really need a database. Maybe you've seen it already.

[mstar]

Ex-shep and Carmen, again thanks for the info and links.

Did a quick study on the link you sent, Carmen, and plan to go back for a deeper look when time allows.

I did not know about "Maranatha". I am beginning to think most of those organizations that sprung from the "Charismatic Movement" were baby cults, now in full bloom of what they really were. . . cults.

[gwen]

I live kind of close to the Ohio homeowner's light display, about a 30 minute drive or so. I didn't even know about it until after it got shut off! The local news said that there was a minor car accident (no injuries) and the police couldn't get through the traffic to get to the accident, so that's when they asked him to shut it off. As far as I understand from the news he shut it off as soon as they asked him to and said that it would be shut off indefinitely.

[ex-shep]

Ex-shep and Carmen, again thanks for the info and links.

Did a quick study on the link you sent, Carmen, and plan to go back for a deeper look when time allows.

I did not know about "Maranatha". I am beginning to think most of those organizations that sprung from the "Charismatic Movement" were baby cults, now in full bloom of what they really were. . . cults.

Maranatha was founded by Robert Weiner in Florida. It was a charismatic shepherding group in the Eighties.

Best link I could find at the moment

http://www.rickross.com/groups/maranatha.html

That should get one started

[Carmen]

I know someone who was directly involved with Maranatha and hurt by it. Now he researches the group and does his own discernment work. He was the one I did the Haack translation for, and another one that is not on the site. If you want more info on Maranatha - and what the same people are up to now, I can ask my friend for the info. I don't want to just forward the material he gave me, it concerns a thesis he is working on, but I know that he has published some material, including my translation.

[Carmen]

mstar,

I saw your post in another thread about freaking out with the info about cults - judge for yourself how much you may want to research at one time. It is not like you have to do it. The stuff I write about and similar topics can be shocking for someone who has been through it. I used research on such topics and writing about them as therapy - still am, but I think I'm sort of an oddball. I remember sitting there with my mouth open shocked at how linked up all these organisations are ideologically, virtually, and in reality, that are fleecing anyone they can get their hands on in the name of Christ. :mad: I wondered why hardly anyone is protesting about it, why everyone just seems to accept it as God's kingdom on earth. The concept was and is mindboggling for me, even moreso as I continue research.

Take it easy if you feel stressed out. Don't overdo it.

Carmen

[mstar]

mstar,

I saw your post in another thread about freaking out with the info about cults - judge for yourself how much you may want to research at one time. It is not like you have to do it. The stuff I write about and similar topics can be shocking for someone who has been through it. I used research on such topics and writing about them as therapy - still am, but I think I'm sort of an oddball. I remember sitting there with my mouth open shocked at how linked up all these organisations are ideologically, virtually, and in reality, that are fleecing anyone they can get their hands on in the name of Christ. :mad: I wondered why hardly anyone is protesting about it, why everyone just seems to accept it as God's kingdom on earth. The concept was and is mindboggling for me, even moreso as I continue research.

Take it easy if you feel stressed out. Don't overdo it.

Carmen


I am pacing myself.

Went through a "head trip", thinking I had to cram info as quickly as possible so I would be all educated and ready for pastor & co's next campaign on my family.

It is good to have the knowledge, I do need it, but felt the Lord minister that it will be His strength to pull me through. He will used the knowledge as well. Like you said it is mindboggling so I do need to used wisdom as to how much I can handle.

This is so crazy! I use to work in a Christian bookstore in the 80's and sold Intervarsity Press materials. I don't remember reading them too much, but we sold them with a good conscience that this was a balanced Christ centered ministry.

If you have the time, I would like to read what you have on Marathra. I'll pace myself, but I do need to know what I am dealing with. I think my former church ( my husband's current ) foundations was somewhat influenced by some of this work

This is like culture shock.

[ex-shep]

Take it easy if you feel stressed out. Don't overdo it.

Carmen[/QUOTE]


Very true. I know ex-members who cracked up over getting too wrapped up in research. Even at cult conferences, all attenders are warned to take a break anytime they need to. If overwhelmed go take a walk, call somebody, or go back to your hotel room. I rode buses, a hobby of mine, during conferences to break up the day. Other wise I go absolutely nuts.

Thanks for reminding me.

[ex-shep]

I know someone who was directly involved with Maranatha and hurt by it. Now he researches the group and does his own discernment work. He was the one I did the Haack translation for, and another one that is not on the site. If you want more info on Maranatha - and what the same people are up to now, I can ask my friend for the info. I don't want to just forward the material he gave me, it concerns a thesis he is working on, but I know that he has published some material, including my translation.

Too chilling for me. My groups were bad enough. Given the improvements that Tammy's has made, I still pray the whole denomination gets farther and farther each day from its virulent shepherding roots.

[Carmen]

This is so crazy! I use to work in a Christian bookstore in the 80's and sold Intervarsity Press materials. I don't remember reading them too much, but we sold them with a good conscience that this was a balanced Christ centered ministry.

If you have the time, I would like to read what you have on Marathra. I'll pace myself, but I do need to know what I am dealing with. I think my former church ( my husband's current ) foundations was somewhat influenced by some of this work
Have already mailed my friend, don't know when he will respond, can't release the copy of thesis without permission. I'll see what else I have in the computer.

You should see what they sell in one "Christian" book store here. Warren, Tenney, Haye, Hinn, Kuhlman, Hagin, Prayer of Jabez and others - it is all there - in Italian. I've got to get back there just to see the new fashions - they always have the latest stuff - it keeps me informed as to what new idiocy has arrived. If you look for doctrinally sound stuff as I have been for a bible-study group I am planning - THERE IS PRACTICALLY NOTHING! One pastor translates the stuff he needs from English. There are two new sites out there for sound Italian religious literature, but they are very new and have very few works translated thus far. One of them is connected to the guy that SA'd me, he is one of the few here that knows enough English to translate the stuff. If I order there, he'll get wind of it for sure. Ugh! Maybe I can get a friend to do it....

[Carmen]

Hi mstar,

My friend mailed back - will list one tidbit here: "Maranatha and it's resurgent
Morning Star International recently re-named (again...) Every Nation Church
(ENC)." That is one tactic some groups use, change names. Also one Fact Net discussion group, where much info can be gathered, my friend says it is the best of its kind as far as some of the members put it: http://www.factnet.org/discus/messages/3/584.html?1109915734. I didn't know about it before and will be taking a look, too.

I cannot send you my friend's thesis; he is not finished yet. He will finish it "next semester" if he can. I have gone through the Maranatha info and have some articles stored that do not contain private material, but would need to email them to you, they are too long to be posted here. If you want them, you can PM your email to me and I can send them to you as attachments.

Carmen

[ex-shep]

Hi mstar,

My friend mailed back - will list one tidbit here: "Maranatha and it's resurgent
Morning Star International recently re-named (again...) Every Nation Church
(ENC)." That is one tactic some groups use, change names. Also one Fact Net discussion group, where much info can be gathered, my friend says it is the best of its kind as far as some of the members put it: http://www.factnet.org/discus/messages/3/584.html?1109915734. I didn't know about it before and will be taking a look, too.

I cannot send you my friend's thesis; he is not finished yet. He will finish it "next semester" if he can. I have gone through the Maranatha info and have some articles stored that do not contain private material, but would need to email them to you, they are too long to be posted here. If you want them, you can PM your email to me and I can send them to you as attachments.

Carmen

Looks like good reading. You might want to do a search for the master thesis of Martin Butz. I know he covered Tammy's group and shepherding in general.

The name change is typical of shepherding groups. Everytime Tammy's group hit a buzzsaw of bad publicity there was a name change and some equally wimpy excuses. My favorite was "We changed our name from Solid Rock because we were being confused with a rock group". I may have been under mind control at the time, but I was not THAT naive. Deliver unto me a pause of chronological refreshment. :mad:

[ex-shep]

That is one tactic some groups use, change names. Also one Fact Net discussion group, where much info can be gathered, my friend says it is the best of its kind as far as some of the members put it: http://www.factnet.org/discus/messages/3/584.html?1109915734. I didn't know about it before and will be taking a look, too.


Thanks for reminding me. I need to mail FACT.net a check for website exspenses. Others can go to the site for particulars if interested.

[Carmen]

Hi ex-shep,

Did a google on Butz and didn't come up with anything concrete, just an old reference to a discernment conference in 98 if it was the same person. The person that wrote the article said that Cult Awareness had lost a lawsuit and had been taken over by Scient*****. I hadn't heard that one, did a quick Google Desktop and found a page from Rick Ross that I had saved - http://www.rickross.com/groups/newcan.html. He affirmed that statement. I don't recommend them on my site, am glad I didn't. Do you have anything saved up on your computer about Butz?

Carmen

[mstar]

Thank you both for the links and info. My daughter is coming home from school tom so I will not have much reading time. Will try to catch up with this soon.

Is Latter Rain part of Maranatha? We some missionary friends that are part of Latter Rain. Oh dear. Gads I feel stupid.

Yes, Carmen, it seems the "flakes" are the reading material sent into foreign nations and show up when there is no other balanced reading available. Guess they "got the word out".

[ex-shep]

Hi ex-shep,

Did a google on Butz and didn't come up with anything concrete, just an old reference to a discernment conference in 98 if it was the same person. The person that wrote the article said that Cult Awareness had lost a lawsuit and had been taken over by Scient*****. I hadn't heard that one, did a quick Google Desktop and found a page from Rick Ross that I had saved - http://www.rickross.com/groups/newcan.html. He affirmed that statement. I don't recommend them on my site, am glad I didn't. Do you have anything saved up on your computer about Butz?

Carmen

That is the man. I knew Marty well. I was involved with Cult Awareness Network right to the takeover. For the Master Thesis, you need to do an academic search. The thesis on Microfiche via University Microfilms, as required with an american master thesis at an accredited university. I read it at Cincinnati Bible College. WorldCat might do it.

[ex-shep]

Hi ex-shep,

Did a google on Butz and didn't come up with anything concrete, just an old reference to a discernment conference in 98 if it was the same person. The person that wrote the article said that Cult Awareness had lost a lawsuit and had been taken over by Scient*****. I hadn't heard that one, did a quick Google Desktop and found a page from Rick Ross that I had saved - http://www.rickross.com/groups/newcan.html. He affirmed that statement. I don't recommend them on my site, am glad I didn't. Do you have anything saved up on your computer about Butz?

Carmen


Here the citation

http://scrolls.ccuniversity.edu/search/abutz/abutz/1,5,5,B/frameset&FF=abutz+martin+j&1,1,

Hope that helps.

[ex-shep]

[QUOTE=mstar]Thank you both for the links and info. My daughter is coming home from school tom so I will not have much reading time. Will try to catch up with this soon.

Is Latter Rain part of Maranatha? We some missionary friends that are part of Latter Rain. Oh dear. Gads I feel stupid.

Don't worry about. I have trouble staying on top of it. The two groups are obliquely tied in. Where I do not remember. To say my info is rusty would be an understatement.

I trying to remember to research the tie ins of my denomination, Rick Warren and others, this brought up by Carmen earlier. I was quicly becoming overwhelmed. I had to log off the computer and walk away. It was too much for me.

A lesson for former members. It is important that we learn about our past groups so we can get an understanding of what to us and mind control dynamics affected us. It is important to know when to take a break and be good to ourselves.

[Jerry]

I have a "Stainless Steel" artifical tree .I am going to decorate it with green "Plexiglass Dollar Signs" and little cardboard cutouts of Benny Hinn.The "Nativity Display" by the fireplace includes statues of the 3 wise men,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Ken Copeland,Rod Parsley and Oral Roberts :eek: :D Just your normal "Fundimentel" decorations ;)
Love Jerry

[truth]

I have a "Stainless Steel" artifical tree .I am going to decorate it with green "Plexiglass Dollar Signs" and little cardboard cutouts of Benny Hinn.The "Nativity Display" by the fireplace includes statues of the 3 wise men,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Ken Copeland,Rod Parsley and Oral Roberts :eek: :D Just your normal "Fundimentel" decorations ;)
Love Jerry


:D :D :D :D :D Jan Crouch as your angel on the top of the tree???

[mstar]

I have a "Stainless Steel" artifical tree .I am going to decorate it with green "Plexiglass Dollar Signs" and little cardboard cutouts of Benny Hinn.The "Nativity Display" by the fireplace includes statues of the 3 wise men,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Ken Copeland,Rod Parsley and Oral Roberts :eek: :D Just your normal "Fundimentel" decorations ;)
Love Jerry

Only the above "wise men"???? would not come bearing gifts. They would be bringing buckets to pass around to poor shephards and the two newly wed homeless couple with a newborn (arrived a little early .. .. hmmmm, future church gossip material here) proclaiming ; (what was it Jerry?)

"If you aint gotta thing, throw in some bling"

"Amen! Thats right brothers and sisters, come and touch the bucket and throw in some $$$ to ensure your new born's financial future. Start seeding NOW!"

[mstar]

:D :D :D :D :D Jan Crouch as your angel on the top of the tree???


"Look mommy, my very own "Jane Crouch Tree-top Angel!
"It comes complete with fiber-optic hair that turns blue and then pink! When you push in her tummy she cries real tears that make her mascara run and her eyelases fall off !"

[truth]

"Look mommy, my very own "Jane Crouch Tree-top Angel!
"It comes complete with fiber-optic hair that turns blue and then pink! When you push in her tummy she cries real tears that make her mascara run and her eyelases fall off !"

.....and those Barbie dolls, send those Barbie dolls, they loved those Barbie dolls.....sniff, sniff......

[mstar]

.....and those Barbie dolls, send those Barbie dolls, they loved those Barbie dolls.....sniff, sniff......


Who cares if these children don't have enough food, shelter, medicine, education, the Word Of God. . .leave that to World Vision, Compassion, to the world governments, or to U2. . ..

"just keep those Barbie Dolls coming. Send in your pledge today!"

[Willow]

What a fun thread! How did I miss reading this before?

Here's another one... if you lay your hand on the screen santa... i mean jesus will be good to you and prosper you this year. He sees you when you're sleeping... he knows when you're awake!

[Jerry]

I am good for this year,,,,I sent in 3 Barbis

Divorced Barbi,,,,,,,she comes with Kens house,,,Kens car,,,,and Kens boat

Bi Polar Barbi,,,,,,,she comes with a 3 month supply of Zoloft,,,,a "Platinum Visa Card" for those "Manic - Highs",,,,,,,and a certificate for a 6 day 7 nite stay at New Yorks "Bellview Hospital (5th floor)"......

Trailer Trash Barbi,,,,,,she comes with red/white striped 1 size too small tube top,,,,,,,Blue-jean cutt-off short shorts,,,,,Black 4" stoletto pumps w/fishnet hose,,,,a baby to hold on her left hip & a bottle of whiskey for her right hand,,,,,and to finish her ensemble,,,a lit Marleboro to hang from her lips,,,,,,,,,,,a must have for the avid Barbi collector :D and for an added bonus,,,,press the button on her display stand and Barbi says,,,,,,"Have you seen that good for nothin boyfriend of mine ??????"

I can't stand it I am clicking on "Submit" :D :D :D

[truth]

I'm out of control here....I didn't want to offend anyone with the Barbi thing but ok here goes....Jan: aaaand that poooor little child came up to me and said, "Is there a Barbi doll for meeee?" Jan (now hysterically crying on scream) I DON'T HAVE ANY MORE BAARBI'S, LITTLE GIIIIRL!!!!"

ONE YEAR LATER.....

Jan standing by the plane with children in 3rd world country running towards her..... "Little Girl - I never forgot -----and HHHeeeeere --- I brought you this Barbi .....I brought the Barbi......

at this point Jan cannot speak.....and as Mstar said, who cares they can't live --- just keep those little Barbi's coming....

ok now I'm satisfied and if I'm too irreverant - kick me off this forum- --- I had to say it ......those images stick in my mind so much of Jan and the Barbi's ....

truth

[mstar]

"Be a part of building God's kingdom!

Call the 800 number on your screen right now with your $2,000.00 pledge to bring in more Barbies for the starving children in Africa, and we will send you . . .

your very own, limited "Special Edition TBN Jan Crouch Barbie!"!

Thats right! A Barbie that looks just like Jan Crouch!

Wow!

And that not all. . .

for a matching pledge of only $!,000.00 we will include the
"Jan Crouch Barbie Wardrobe"!

This fabulous wardrobe comes complete with 200 outfits, 20 wigs of all colors and shapes, 10 extra pairs if eyelases, jewels, and a great big purse.

But wait! If you call within the next 10 minuets we will include a "Christmas Dino Piano Wind -up Music Box" complete with dancing raindeer!

Send a starving child out of this world smiling with her very own Barbie! Call today!"

I think I need to go repent. . .

[Carmen]

Hi ex-shep,

Thanks for the info. Went to the main library link to see if I can get a copy somehow but the buttons were not working. Will have to check back later. An interlibrary loan may be possible. I wish they had more info in the abstract. Sometimes they neglect the social sciences in favor of natural sciences - the abstracts there are generally much more complete and precise.


Apropos Barbie, :D Hmmm, the J Crouch Barbie is one I don't have yet, and all those extras - maybe even enough hair coloring for a few pink strands in my hair, and the Bi-Polar Barbie, Zoloft, some for Barbie and some for me.... So that's why my daughter keeps asking for that one... Maybe I better donate....no, better yet, I will put my hands on the Santa on the TV and pray my money into that bucket. I'll just believe it will go there, so I don't have to write a check. How convenient, Word-of-Faith has to be good for something, you just have to believe hard enough and every wish can come true. Yesss, I have taken the next step into the kingdom, "name it and claim it" has taken on a new level, all you Word-of-Faithers eat your hearts out...

The next one is "Prophetess Barbie", just push the button on her thigh, she has a computer chip on the inside and built in speaker, supernaturally linked to heaven's throne, batteries not included. Failsafe prophecies for the whole family. She comes complete with prayer cloth that has been prayed over and, gasp, touched by at least one modern day apostle or prophet, "It Really Has Anointed Healing Power!" Apostle Ken coming soon.....

[Jerry]

NEW THIS CHRISTMAS,,,,,,,,,,"This Is Your Day Barbi"

In this animated display Barbi is on stage with Benny Hinn.Just push the "Start Button" and the fun begins.Benny prays for Barbis Healing and Barbis breasts reduce from 38DD to 32A .Barbi then "Pogo-Sticks" up and down the stage,stops in front of Benny,Benny extends his right hand,and Barbi hits the stage like a "Lead Sled"

Note; Batteries not included.
You can tell it's MATTELL,,,,,,,,,,,,,It's expensive as Hell !!!!!! :eek:

[truth]

Yah know, I learn so much here on this forum....and to think that I ever thought I needed to be in a religious institution to grow!

wow, in just 4 short months here I now have learned that Jan Crouch is just a pseudo-name for Barbie, she was really Barbi all along -- and I have learned that Benny Hinn's annointing can actually extend to a doll! just wow, I didn't need much, I just needed to come here to really sink my teeth into the real meaty, deep topics of the spiritual life!

and to think I wasted all that time in those other places....they never really came close to touching the really tough topics like these!

thanks for the info - I can now go and spread these things to other believers who are falsely believing that they are well-informed!

They haven't even skimmed the surface of what we know here!

truth

ok - I swear - last one, ....."Barbie, Thou Art Loosed???" nooo or is it Barb Thou Art Loose????? I now join MStar .......:o :o :o

[mstar]

sorry Truth, mstar backslid. . .

"What are you waiting for! Call in your pledge now! Send in a monthy pledge of 500.00 or more. All credit cards are available!

God's Kingdom is waiting for you and your phone call.

Just picture the countless African children happily clutching their Barbies as they walk some 10 miles with heavy buckets to draw water from an diseased, aids infested river filled with human waste.

Call today to make that special child a happy child!"


God help us.

[truth]

"What are you waiting for! Call in your pledge now! Send in a monthy pledge of 500.00 or more. All credit cards are available!

God help us.


Now mstar, you quit this, you quit this girl or we are going to have to turn you over to the TBN police department!

yes, and for a small love offering gift of just two dollars a month, you too can help give a child a Barbie --- we promise --- you won't be sorry! join us today! Don't you think every child deserves a Barbie???:D :D

[ex-shep]

[QUOTE=Carmen]Hi ex-shep,

Thanks for the info. Went to the main library link to see if I can get a copy somehow but the buttons were not working. Will have to check back later. An interlibrary loan may be possible. I wish they had more info in the abstract. Sometimes they neglect the social sciences in favor of natural sciences - the abstracts there are generally much more complete and precise.


Try a college library. You should be able to see the abstract before requesting library loan.

[butterfly]

:D :D Thank you all for I have needed to laugh for a long time.
Do you people work for TBN? Are you writers for the show?
You sure know Jans lines very well.
Thank you ladys and Jerry. :D :D :D :D :D butterfly

[Jerry]

"DUI" Barbi
This Barbi comes dressed in a "Little Black Evening Dress"....She can be posed blowing into a Breathalizer where she bolws an impressive 3.5. Or you can pose her in handcuffs kicking the windows out of a Police Car.Or place her on her display stand ,standing on one foot ,head tiped back touching her nose with her finger.......

"County Jail Barbi"
This Barbi is a must have if you own the "DUI" Barbi.....She comes dressed in an orange jump suit with a black "P" on the back and white sneekers.To accessorize her outfit you can pose Barbi with an orange Department of Sanitation trash bag and a spiked stick for picking up papers.

These new additions to her collection will provide your little girl with hours of fun :D

[Carmen]

I've certainly had a lot of fun looking at the barbie posts, especially yours, Jerry. You have a unique sense of humor. :D
Ah, yes, since we have digital satellite, we get TBN again and at least six other "Christian" channels. I only use them for research purposes now. Thank goodness I don't believe that garbage anymore, or who knows what kind of Barbie I'd be associating myself with.

[truth]

"County Jail Barbi"
This Barbi is a must have if you own the "DUI" Barbi.....She comes dressed in an orange jump suit with a black "P" on the back and white sneekers.To accessorize her outfit you can pose Barbi with an orange Department of Sanitation trash bag and a spiked stick for picking up papers.
:D


Ok, Jer - (you started all this)....now WHO will "visit" Barbi at the jail and WHAT will they say?

[truth]

:D :D Thank you all for I have needed to laugh for a long time.
Do you people work for TBN? Are you writers for the show?
You sure know Jans lines very well.
Thank you ladys and Jerry. :D :D :D :D :D butterfly

What's wrong with this picture? that we know all the lines!.....that's exactly how much TBN I used to watch in order to remember this much now! yaaaah.....now I can't even get near the channel without hyperventilating! how times have changed.....I'm with you, Butterfly, I needed to laugh too....I'm having a good time with this particularly reading about all these "new Barbi's" out on the market -

Jerry, which ones will your grandchildren be receiving this year for gifts?

are there any Recovery Barbi's out yet? Shrink Barbi's? I swear last year I actually did see one with a doctor's lab coat, little black glasses and a clipboard!

[ex-shep]

[QUOTE=truth]What's wrong with this picture? that we know all the lines!.....that's exactly how much TBN I used to watch in order to remember this much now! yaaaah.....now I can't even get near the channel without hyperventilating! how times have changed.....

I used to have Directv. I blocked it and the religious channels along with MTV and the porn. Talk about being triggered.

[truth]

[QUOTE=truth]

I used to have Directv. I blocked it and the religious channels along with MTV and the porn. Talk about being triggered.


Agree

[butterfly]

Truth , I have had my share of watching TBN also. Mostly for the laugh.
It makes me sick now I just don"t know how they get away with what they do.
Please more barbes. Pleeease.:D butterfly [shirely]

[mstar]

What, you all Jerry's "Barbie stories" better than my dark "Barbie stories". . . I'm hurt.
How about another. (This is a great way to vent your frustrations with the system). Here goes;



"As all you friends of TBN know, since the waters of Hurricane Katrina flooded the city of New Orleans, La., the area has displaced thousands, leaving them homeless. It is said the toxins in the city, along with various bacteria, has made most of the city uninhabitable. . .

but never fear
Your TBN will be there!
Yes that is right!
But how you may ask. We will tell you! And get your check books ready!

As you know Jan's "Third World Children Ministry" has the goal to
"Have a Barbie in each tiny needy hand by Rapture Time!"
This critical "end time" ministry has, until now, been restricted only to foreign nations with special needs. But that's all going to change!

TBN is answering "America's Challenge" to bring New Orleans back from becoming our nation first "Third World Country" !

How will we do this? Thats right!
Jan and The TBN gang are giving to each needy child,

"FEMA Barbie!"

WOW!

Yes it is "FEMA Barbie"!

"FEMA Barbie" comes dressed in government issued military fatigues, a toxin protection mask, riot gear, and her very own rescue boat.
Press her button and she will say,

"The governor and mayor can't decide when we can get in to help you people!"

Her accessories include a bag of melted ice, ready to eat yesterday meals, and your very own "City Of New Orleans Tax Bill" sent esp by the city mayor.
Also included are free slot machine chips to be used when the fabulous "New Orleans Sin City" opens, "Mardras Gras Beads" for the February event, and lysol wipes.

But TBN will not be able to ship "FEMA Barbie" to the needy New Orleans children without your help!

Send in your TAX DEDUCTIBLE donation to TBN now!

Remember its the end of the year and you don't want Uncle Sam to take all your hard earned money do you? The Kingdom Of God is waiting for that money, so send it instead to TBN. Seed for your earthly future, as well as for more "heavenly stars in your crown." Send in your tax deductible donation to TBN now and send "FEMA Barbies" to New Orleans.

Sorry Jan will not be available to go to New Orleans to introduce "FEMA Barbie".

Accommodations are poor and with the mold spores count off the chart, well . . .some of them might get in her wigs, and she would never be able to get that out!"

Call today!!"

(I hope I'm not in trouble on this one)

[mstar]

The two groups are obliquely tied in. Where I do not remember. To say my info is rusty would be an understatement.

I trying to remember to research the tie ins of my denomination, Rick Warren and others, this brought up by Carmen earlier. I was quicly becoming overwhelmed. I had to log off the computer and walk away. It was too much for me.

A lesson for former members. It is important that we learn about our past groups so we can get an understanding of what to us and mind control dynamics affected us. It is important to know when to take a break and be good to ourselves.

Wanted to let you and Carmen know I got my "cult/mind control" books in today. Did try to read some last night, but Christmas has got my energy levels down. Hopefuly will be more energied after the holidays and can get some studying done. I guess when one gets overwelmed reading this heavy stuff, you can launce into Barbie stories.

Gads this has become a rather odd thread.

Bless you guys and have a wonderful Christmas!

[truth]

"FEMA Barbie!"

WOW!

Yes it is "FEMA Barbie"!

"FEMA Barbie" comes dressed in government issued military fatigues, a toxin protection mask, riot gear, and her very own rescue boat.




Can I have one, too, please mstar, can I get a FEMA Barbie too? I want one so badly for Christmas --- I'll even throw in my Demonic Barbie and trade you ! please,please please.....my Barbie even comes with her own deliverance team - Bob Larsen and his deliverance team of Kelly, Ken and Barbie as the Nutcracker!please, please....

[mstar]

"TBN regrets that FEMA Barbie's 'Gasoline Fuel Truck' will not be able with this special TBN offer, as most were were stuck in traffic and ran out of gas.

But wait! For an extra pledge of $200.00 or more, TBN will include 'Barbie's Gas Credit Card'. *

*this 'Barbie Gas Credit Card' is only usable in areas that have gas. Supplies are limited."

[mstar]

Can I have one, too, please mstar, can I get a FEMA Barbie too? I want one so badly for Christmas --- I'll even throw in my Demonic Barbie and trade you ! please,please please.....my Barbie even comes with her own deliverance team - Bob Larsen and his deliverance team of Kelly, Ken and Barbie as the Nutcracker!please, please....

hummm. . . lets see, I trade my FEMA Barbie for your Demonic Barbie . .but yours does have a deliverance team. A deliverance team might be a plus for the Anne Rice vampire areas of New Orleans. Lets make a deal, put Demonic Barbie in the bargain bin or give her to some needy child at the Red Cross (they can try to figure out what to do with her. .. maybe they have a Chucky Doll she can play with). . .and we join forces . . . send in your Barbie's deliverance team to help FEMA Barbie. BTW, do they happen to know how to deal with Voodoo demons?"

[truth]

hummm. . . lets see, I trade my FEMA Barbie for your Demonic Barbie . .but yours does have a deliverance team. A deliverance team might be a plus for the Anne Rice vampire areas of New Orleans. Lets make a deal, put Demonic Barbie in the bargain bin or give her to some needy child at the Red Cross (they can try to figure out what to do with her. .. maybe they have a Chucky Doll she can play with). . .and we join forces . . . send in your Barbie's deliverance team to help FEMA Barbie. BTW, do they happen to know how to deal with Voodoo demons?"

Oh yes, they have done it all --- seen it all -- voodoo and vampires hold no surprises for them --- you drive a hard bargain mstar but --- ok -- its Christmas and I'm in a holiday mood so -- demonic Barbie goes back to my old church -- she fits right in there and nobody thinks she's odd and the deliverance team to New Orleans with FEMA Barbie!

By the way, MStar - I won't be posting for several days --- they're coming to cart me off to the psych ward- I know I'm certifiable after writing this!:D :D

[ex-shep]

Wanted to let you and Carmen know I got my "cult/mind control" books in today. Did try to read some last night, but Christmas has got my energy levels down. Hopefuly will be more energied after the holidays and can get some studying done. I guess when one gets overwelmed reading this heavy stuff, you can launce into Barbie stories.

Gads this has become a rather odd thread.

Bless you guys and have a wonderful Christmas!

What did you order?

[mstar]

What did you order?


I ordered "Combatting Cult MInd Control" by Steven Hassan, "Releasing The Bonds; Enpowering People To Think For Themselves" also by Steve Hassen, "Prophetic Charisma": by Len Oakes, "Help My Guru Died" by Swami Rami Salami (having daily readings)

Tried to start "Prophetic Charisma" but it was a bit hard due to the holidays. Think my mind is blown with all that has happened and is happening. Hope to do better after Christmas when things settle a bit.

What do you think. . .good choices or not. Any suggestions?

[gwen]

Just wanted to tell you all that our family saw a computer synchronized light/music display last night...since that was what the original post was about on this thread. I mentioned that the light display that got nationwide coverage is only about 30-45 minutes away from our house. Anyway, Friday night, my sister called me to tell me that there was another one locally. So, last night we went to see it. It was really pretty cool! Since this one hadn't gotten the media coverage, there were only a couple of other cars there when we pulled up. They had the music streaming through the radio, so there wasn't any outside noise. The lights were synched with the music, so they flashed off and on, but it was really neat, and it didn't seem to disturb the neighborhood. My sister described it as "like fireworks in the winter"...it was enjoyable! :o

[gwen]

I ordered "Combatting Cult MInd Control" by Steven Hassan, "Releasing The Bonds; Enpowering People To Think For Themselves" also by Steve Hassen, "Prophetic Charisma": by Len Oakes, "Help My Guru Died" by Swami Rami Salami (having daily readings)

Tried to start "Prophetic Charisma" but it was a bit hard due to the holidays. Think my mind is blown with all that has happened and is happening. Hope to do better after Christmas when things settle a bit.

What do you think. . .good choices or not. Any suggestions?

"Releasing the Bonds" should be a good one for you to help you with how to deal with your husband. "Twisted Scriptures" by Mary Alice Chrnalogar is another good one. I ordered that one through a local Christian bookstore and it took several weeks for them to get it in, but you can order it on Amazon.

Here's a list of the books that I read (besides the two listed above and "The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse"):
"Healing Spiritual Abuse" by Ken Blue
"Churches That Abuse" and "Recovering From Churches that Abuse" both by Ronald M. Enroth
"The Walking Wounded: A Look at Faith Theology" by Jeremy Reynalds
"Breaking Free: Rescuing Families from the Clutches of Legalism" by David R. Miller
"Damaged Disciples: Casualties of Authoritarian Churches and the Shepherding Movement" by Ron & Vicki Burks
"Cults in Our Midst" by Margaret Thaler Singer
"Recovery From Cults: Help for Victims of Psychological and Spiritual Abuse" edited by Michael D. Langone
"Captive Hearts, Captive Minds: Freedom and Recovery from Cults and Abusive Relationships" by Madeleine Landau Tobias and Janja Lalich

"Releasing the Bonds", the two books by Ronald Enroth, and "Captive Hearts, Captive Minds" I was able to find in my local library. The other books I bought. I ordered most of them from Amazon.
"Captive Hearts, Captive Minds" is a difficult one to find. I found out that when it first came out, it didn't sell very well, so they didn't do a large printing of it. It has since been recognized as an excellent book, however, it is now out of print. Hopefully, someday, maybe they'll do another printing of it.
"Cults in Our Midst" is more of a scholarly book, as Margaret Singer was a clinical psychologist and a college professor who studied cults. The foreword of her book is by Robert Jay Lifton, who came up with the eight criteria of mind control.
"Recovery From Cults" is actually compilation of a lot of different information. Here's a quote from the book jacket: "Dr. Langone has gathered a diverse group of contributors from the fields of therapy, psychiatry, nursing, exit counseling, pastoral counseling, and the law. In addition, he has included personal accounts from former cult members. This book makes a strong case for the extreme damage that cults can do to members physically, as well as psychologically and spiritually.
There are specific guidelines for different types of counseling, psychiatric hospitalization, and suggestions for support groups, families, and ex-members themselves."

When I first left our "church", I read and read...not just these books, but lots of information online. I still go back to these books as I feel the need to.

Love, Gwen

[mstar]

Wow Gwen, to have actually seen the famous musical Christmas light house. That's something and I would have imagine it was something.

Thanks for the info. Will print it out. I have read "Twisted Scriptures" and Ken Blue's book which I really liked, and of course "The Subtle Power Of Spiritual Abuse", as well as Jeff V.'s other books.

Am trying to get rested to take on these books I have just recd. as well as some materials Carmen e-mailed to me. It is mind bogling isn't it. After my daughter returns to school I am going to try to find a New Testament (if they make one) that is in English along with the Greek, get alone and study. Right now I feel like I am floating as far my theogy. . .a time of growth I think. . .I hope.

Thank you again for the list of material. Will try to order some of your suggestions.

Hope you had a good Christmas. Appreciate you.

[mstar]

I have been thinking about my subject matter on the Barbie stories, Africa and New Orleans, and became concerned I may have sounded flippant. If I did, I am sorry.

I am very concerned about both situations. We do our best to support ministries that attempt to truly aid those in distress in these areas. Guess I was expressing my anger due to feeling so helpless, using the Barbie stories to vent.

I feel like our government, as well as FEMA, did the best they could in N.O. dealing with a very bad situation. My anger was directed at those ineffectual mininstries encouraging people not to pay government income taxes so they might instead support their ineffectual work. My anger was also directed to the mayor of N.O. and some of his impractical methods to "fix" N.O.

If I was offensive, I am sorry.

[Willow]

Hey... I for one took your messages as informal and jovial teasing.

[truth]

If you're offensive - I'm right there with you .....I think we were just letting off some "much needed" holiday steam and hopefully giving some of the others a reason to chuckle! (at least that's what I hope we did!)

I, too, apologize if in any way I offended.....when I get started and find a "cohort" it sort of just eggs me along further....

I think (hope) people knew we were just doing it tongue-in-cheek and didn't mean any harm by it!

[gwen]

After my daughter returns to school I am going to try to find a New Testament (if they make one) that is in English along with the Greek, get alone and study. Right now I feel like I am floating as far my theogy. . .a time of growth I think. . .I hope.

Hope you had a good Christmas. Appreciate you.

Yes, they do have a Bible with English and Greek together. We used to have one called the Interlinear Bible. We also have a Bible called "The Hebrew-Greek Key Study Bible", which I think comes in various English translations. We have it in the New American Standard. I know what you mean about floating in your theology. I'm in the same boat! It's been a time of questioning a lot of things that I've believed in the past.

Yes, we had a good Christmas...in fact, it's still not over...we have some friends coming over tomorrow evening and our oldest son and his wife are coming over later this week for our immediate family to exchange presents with them.

I hope your Christmas has been good as well!

Take care! I appreciate you too! :)

Love, Gwen

[gwen]

If you're offensive - I'm right there with you .....I think we were just letting off some "much needed" holiday steam and hopefully giving some of the others a reason to chuckle! (at least that's what I hope we did!)

I, too, apologize if in any way I offended.....when I get started and find a "cohort" it sort of just eggs me along further....

I think (hope) people knew we were just doing it tongue-in-cheek and didn't mean any harm by it!



I, for one, was NOT offended. Though I didn't post any, I did read through all of the posts on this thread and they did make me chuckle!!! :o

Love, Gwen

[Jerry]

Guys I sure had a good laugh Christmas afternoon......We had a house full of Grandkids,dogs,daughter-in-laws,sons,our neighbor and her two daughters.It was like a "Family Circus" cartoon :eek: My little Grand daughter got a Barbi Doll from her parents.It was dressed in an evening/multicolored party dress w/high heels an evening bag ect...Of course,having a sick mind ,I thought to myself,,"Ah,,,,Lounge Lizzard Barbi",,,,and began laughing.....Well my Grand Daughter was insenced and declared,,,,,"YOUR NOT NICE GRANDPA" and stomped off into the dining room,,,,,,and of course my wife says to me,,,,"What the hell is so damn funny ????" This pushed me over the edge and was laughing so hard no sound would come out and tears were streaming down my face no way could I explain.......So there I am everyone looking at me like I am a damn fool :D Then what really iced the cake,,,,,,as my wife walked past me to go console our Grand Daughter she whispered in my ear,,,,,"Stop being an ass-hole !" ,,,,That tore it!!!!I went out on the front porch ,,,,,,took about 10 minutes for me to regain my composure :D :D I bet that laugh jag gave me enough "Endorphins" for a year :rolleyes:
Love Jerry

[gwen]

Guys I sure had a good laugh Christmas afternoon......We had a house full of Grandkids,dogs,daughter-in-laws,sons,our neighbor and her two daughters.It was like a "Family Circus" cartoon :eek: My little Grand daughter got a Barbi Doll from her parents.It was dressed in an evening/multicolored party dress w/high heels an evening bag ect...Of course,having a sick mind ,I thought to myself,,"Ah,,,,Lounge Lizzard Barbi",,,,and began laughing.....Well my Grand Daughter was insenced and declared,,,,,"YOUR NOT NICE GRANDPA" and stomped off into the dining room,,,,,,and of course my wife says to me,,,,"What the hell is so damn funny ????" This pushed me over the edge and was laughing so hard no sound would come out and tears were streaming down my face no way could I explain.......So there I am everyone looking at me like I am a damn fool :D Then what really iced the cake,,,,,,as my wife walked past me to go console our Grand Daughter she whispered in my ear,,,,,"Stop being an ass-hole !" ,,,,That tore it!!!!I went out on the front porch ,,,,,,took about 10 minutes for me to regain my composure :D :D I bet that laugh jag gave me enough "Endorphins" for a year :rolleyes:
Love Jerry


ROTL!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D

[mstar]

Gwen, thanks again for the info. I will attempt to order the Bible. Also thanks for the grace about the Barbies. Also thanks to truth, Willow, and Jerry. My daughter said she thought I was becoming cynical. . .now where would she get that idea.
Very funny story Jerry.

Sooo, how about,

"Counterfeit Revival Barbie"

This is a very special Barbie as she weighs 20lbs. less than regular Barbie, a result of endless fasting for a move of God. Barbie's hair comes in a penecostal bun and has never been cut . Nothing but dresses in this Barbie wardrobe, all with long sleeves, with mid calf lengths in dull colors. She comes with her very own pew kneeling pad, a head pillow for when she slams on to the floor, the book "Bring A Brownsville Revival To Your Church & Watch It Grow!", a CD that plays praise music continually for five hours, fool's gold, and a month supply of TV dinners for her family at home. Press her button and she will dance around, make various barnyard animal sounds, laugh uncontrollably, say "New Beginnings!", identify your city's demonic strongholds (they have to be cast out or no city revival, no church growth), and sing about what she is going to do for the Lord.

Although this Barbie comes broke, she does have lots church contribution recpts for income tax dedutions.

Counterfeit Revival Barbie is available in some areas with Prophetess Barbie and Apostal Ken (see descriptions posted by Carmen).

Hurry! This offer won't last as these Barbies burn out quickly.

[butterfly]

:D I liked all the barbies. I needed a laugh to get me thru the christmas season. It is a very depressing time for me.
There are times we need to be silly in our lives I think.
TO much hurt most of the time.
Jerry did you keep the barbie story all to yourself or did you share.
Thanks Mstar and everyone .:D :D :D butterfly

[mstar]

Glad you were able to laugh Butterfly Shirley. Lord knows I sure need to or I would really go . . .crazier.

Yeah, Jerry, do tell us the story of "Lounge Lizzard Barbi".


Wanted to add that if you call within the next ten min. we will not only ship to you "Counterfeit Revival Barbie", but will include, at no additional charge, "Demonic Barbie's Deliverance Team" (see truth's earlier post) "Demonic Barbie" is not included as she has issues and is just too messy. . .bad P.R.
But you have to hurry! Don't pray about it. . .hurry!

[truth]

"Demonic Barbie" is not included as she has issues and is just too messy. .


I think I saw Demonic Barbie somewhere over on the sidelines with Counterfit Revival Barbie - Counterfit Revival Barbie was performing deliverance on Demonic Barbie and commanding the Spirit of Barbie to leave her!
Wait - yes, Demonic Barbie just threw up and mooed like a cow ---- the deliverance seemed to have worked!

[Janice]

Guys I sure had a good laugh Christmas afternoon......We had a house full of Grandkids,dogs,daughter-in-laws,sons,our neighbor and her two daughters.It was like a "Family Circus" cartoon :eek: My little Grand daughter got a Barbi Doll from her parents.It was dressed in an evening/multicolored party dress w/high heels an evening bag ect...Of course,having a sick mind ,I thought to myself,,"Ah,,,,Lounge Lizzard Barbi",,,,and began laughing.....Well my Grand Daughter was insenced and declared,,,,,"YOUR NOT NICE GRANDPA" and stomped off into the dining room,,,,,,and of course my wife says to me,,,,"What the hell is so damn funny ????" This pushed me over the edge and was laughing so hard no sound would come out and tears were streaming down my face no way could I explain.......So there I am everyone looking at me like I am a damn fool :D Then what really iced the cake,,,,,,as my wife walked past me to go console our Grand Daughter she whispered in my ear,,,,,"Stop being an ass-hole !" ,,,,That tore it!!!!I went out on the front porch ,,,,,,took about 10 minutes for me to regain my composure :D :D I bet that laugh jag gave me enough "Endorphins" for a year :rolleyes:
Love Jerry


hahahahahahaha!!!! :D :D :D

[Janice]

Glad you were able to laugh Butterfly Shirley. Lord knows I sure need to or I would really go . . .crazier.

Yeah, Jerry, do tell us the story of "Lounge Lizzard Barbi".


Wanted to add that if you call within the next ten min. we will not only ship to you "Counterfeit Revival Barbie", but will include, at no additional charge, "Demonic Barbie's Deliverance Team" (see truth's earlier post) "Demonic Barbie" is not included as she has issues and is just too messy. . .bad P.R.
But you have to hurry! Don't pray about it. . .hurry!

hahahahaha..ok, ok..you guys are making my side hurt! :D :D :D :D

[butterfly]

I think I saw Demonic Barbie somewhere over on the sidelines with Counterfit Revival Barbie - Counterfit Revival Barbie was performing deliverance on Demonic Barbie and commanding the Spirit of Barbie to leave her!
Wait - yes, Demonic Barbie just threw up and mooed like a cow ---- the deliverance seemed to have worked!

:D :D :D :D I love this one too.butterfly:D :D :D :D

[jjc9497]

This is the weirdest and funniest thread!!! I avoided it for several days and then read thru all at once. I'm not sure if I should be serious or ROFL. I guess I'll choose ROFL

1) Did you know the house with the musical lights was used in a Bud Lite commercial? Saw it during a football game and really cracked up. You can also go to a site called stupidvideos.com (I hope that's right) and see the whole thing. They have some other really funny videos--especially the cat ones (and I'm a cat lover). They also have some off-color ones, so be careful (or not!)

2) If I want any of the Barbies, can I just believe hard enough that you will get paid?? I want one of each for the full effect. I will devote one whole bedroom in our partly remodeled home (read that as torn apart house with no kitchen--didn't have to do Thanksgiving or Christmas due to no stove or sink or dishwasher):)

3) My favorite Barbie is Recovery Barbie. She comes complete with a tee shirt saying "I have ISSUES". Push her buttons and she recites all 12 steps and the Serenity Prayer. She could be useful as a sponser for some of the other Barbies.

[gwen]

1) Did you know the house with the musical lights was used in a Bud Lite commercial? Saw it during a football game and really cracked up. You can also go to a site called stupidvideos.com (I hope that's right) and see the whole thing. They have some other really funny videos--especially the cat ones (and I'm a cat lover). They also have some off-color ones, so be careful (or not!)


My oldest son's brother-in-law told him that Budweiser bought the computer program from the guy that got the national coverage for his musical light display.

[Jerry]

This Barbi comes with a nice little car with a sundress laying in the front seat , shoes laying by the accelerator/brake,a pair of sun-glasses laying on top of the sundress . The car is 1/2 way over a curb with the front end up against a parking meter ,Yes fans,,,,,this "Rapture Barbi " comes without the doll :D

[truth]

:D :D :D Left-Behind Barbie?

[truth]

3) My favorite Barbie is Recovery Barbie. She comes complete with a tee shirt saying "I have ISSUES". Push her buttons and she recites all 12 steps and the Serenity Prayer. She could be useful as a sponser for some of the other Barbies.

Sorry, Counterfit Revival Barbie and Church Lady Barbie will never accept Recovery Barbie ---- she's way too secular for them and they don't really think she needs all this "recovery" stuff....all she really needs is Jesus....they're planning to divert her and get her involved in the Women's ministry where she can get her mind off herself, stop being so introspective and just serve others! That's really her problem...

[mstar]

I was planning to give up "Barbies" and get serious, then . . .Jerry, Truth, jcc, those are great Barbies.:D :D :D

[Enochwar]

Sorry, Counterfit Revival Barbie and Church Lady Barbie will never accept Recovery Barbie ---- she's way too secular for them and they don't really think she needs all this "recovery" stuff....all she really needs is Jesus....they're planning to divert her and get her involved in the Women's ministry where she can get her mind off herself, stop being so introspective and just serve others! That's really her problem...


ROLF.........Please stop!....My sides are hurting! :D :D :D

I'm glad I read this one. (((LAUGHTER AND TEARS)):D ;)

I really needed this.....thank you guys.

It's good to go to bed with a smile.........:)

Good night....

Enochwar, out.

[Kerrin]

:D :D :D
Only in America!!!!!!!!
I must read more.........are those 'barbies' for real.........here a 'barbie' is when you invite everyone over for a BBQ!!!;) :p
Love
Kerrin

[mstar]

Oh heck, I can't resist.

"Left Behind Barbie". . .well actually you can substitute "Counterfeit Revival Barbie", "Church Lady Barbie" or really any of the Barbies mentioned below as her routine is not interrupted. She never knows the difference as church and life just keeps on going along, . .never missed a beat.

[Janice]

Hahahahahahahahahaha! keep it up guys! It hurts but "laughter doeth good, like a medicine" :D :D :D

[truth]

OK, I wasn't going to do this but....you're egging me on (It's YOUR fault ! as they used to say at my church.....)

Alright, it's the day after Christmas and Mrs. Jerry needs a vacation - all the stress from Jerry and the grandkids barbie fiasco, so they leave town...pretty soon the neighbors notice - hey there's a strange smell coming from the Jerry's home, they call the officals to come investigate --- Yup --- you got it --- CSI Barbie and the SWAT team break down the Jerry's door, check it out and find the odor is coming from the basement --- they force their way into the basement - it's pitch black and they have to use those special green lights that show up evidence --- they gasp in horror, some of the team actually wretch and get ill at what they are seeing --- yes, all those creative and interesting tortures and revenges on church officals Jerry mentions in his posts - they weren't his imagination -- they were real! He's been doing it to the church officials in his basement for years --- the neighbors are shocked they said how nice and ordicnary the Jerry's seemed! The church officals are saved in the nick of time - sign lucrative book and movie deals - go on Oprah and Letterman with the story and --- the Jerry's are never heard from again --- until one day a former church member on vacation in the south of france spots Jerry for a moment and hears him say "aaaah a fine Chianti and some fava beans....." and clicks his teeth and leers!

that's it, the end.... put these Barbies on the Barbie!

[mstar]

Truth, we think alike. I was going to suggest to Kerrin to put the Barbies on the Barbie. Good move.
Or . . .we could send the Barbies to "Shrink Barbie". . .maybe we could get group rates. I think I could use "Shrink Barbie", only she might suggest that the solution to my problems would be a good manicure and a brand new credit card. You know, hang out with "Pretty Woman Barbie" and get to shop.. . lofty goals like that.

[jjc9497]

Hey, don't make fun of Shrink Barbie. What's wrong with a manicure and a new credit card? Sounds like good therapy to me. Think I could convince my shrink to use the Barbie method of therapy???

[Janice]

Or . . .we could send the Barbies to "Shrink Barbie". . .maybe we could get group rates. I think I could use "Shrink Barbie", only she might suggest that the solution to my problems would be a good manicure and a brand new credit card. You know, hang out with "Pretty Woman Barbie" and get to shop.. . lofty goals like that.[/QUOTE]

:D :D :D

[butterfly]

:D Thank you everyone I am pleased you are still in the Barbie mood.:) :)
This has been a good thread. Jerry I love yours. I love them all. What creative minds you all have.
I was at a thrift story the other day and went buy the toys.
There was a few Barbies laying there and I picked one up and said "Well I wonder what forum Barbie would you be? Then I said to myself oh no now they have me looking at Barbies.":D :D :D
Keep up the good work we all need a laugh. butterfly

[mstar]

:D Thank you everyone I am pleased you are still in the Barbie mood.:) :)
This has been a good thread. Jerry I love yours. I love them all. What creative minds you all have.
I was at a thrift story the other day and went buy the toys.
There was a few Barbies laying there and I picked one up and said "Well I wonder what forum Barbie would you be? Then I said to myself oh no now they have me looking at Barbies.":D :D :D
Keep up the good work we all need a laugh. butterfly

Thanks Butterfly Shirley. Really wondering about my sanity. . .and then Shrink Barbie took me off my "meds" and suggested instead, non stop shopping and a complete make-over. Oh and to loose 10 lbs. No wonder I am struggling so. . .sometimes you just do not have eyes to see, ears to hear, or a car to go to the malls in. Thank God for good old fashion Barbie sense. Can't put a price on that. . or maybe you could.

[butterfly]

:D :D :D You need help Mstar.:D :D :D :D :D butterfly

[Willow]

Thanks Butterfly Shirley. Really wondering about my sanity. . .

Sanity? what does that mean? not familiar with that word... does not compute.. does not compute... danger will robinson!!!

[Janice]

((((((mstar))))))))

You're no more insane then the rest of us!
Yes, you are, no your not, yes you are, no you're not.....:D :D

[Jerry]

NEW for 2006 !!!!!

Exorsist Barbi,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,This "Display" Barbi comes dressed in a white Hospital Gowun...Be prepaired for "giggles of glee" when your daughter activates this display.......First Barbi levitates then settles back to her little bed,,,,,,she then sits up,her head spins around as Barbi says,,,,"DID YOU SEE WHAT SHE DID ??" she then "Projectile Vomits" Chunky Pea Soup at your little girl,who by now is laughing hysterically.....Then as your daughter moves away from the display,,,,,,,Barbi says "Please Demi,,,,,,,help me,,,why are you doing this to me Demi????This Barbi is complete with a book of "Exorsisom Prayers" and a vile of Simulated Holy Water....Fun for the entire family !!!! Watch for "Exorist Barbi" at a store neer you !!!!!!

Batteries not Included

[mstar]

:D :D :D :D :D

most excellent Barbie post

[butterfly]

I love these Barbie post. Thanks Jerry and everyone.:D :D :D butterfly

[jjc9497]

How about Voodoo Barbie. She comes complete with a pastor voodoo doll and lots of extra pins. You can even send in a picture of your own pastor and get a look alike voodoo doll made.


OK this may be over the top. I'm sure I'll be possessed now.

[Jerry]

How about Voodoo Barbie. She comes complete with a pastor voodoo doll and lots of extra pins. You can even send in a picture of your own pastor and get a look alike voodoo doll made.


OK this may be over the top. I'm sure I'll be possessed now.
No jjc9497,,,,,,,,,,,just make sure you stick him in the "Nads" :D
Love Jerry

[mstar]

How about Voodoo Barbie. She comes complete with a pastor voodoo doll and lots of extra pins. You can even send in a picture of your own pastor and get a look alike voodoo doll made.


OK this may be over the top. I'm sure I'll be possessed now.

I think they may have sent Voodoo Barbie into New Orleans along with FEMA Barbie and Demon Processed Barbies's Deliverance team. Oh no! She's there anymore? They cast her out! Oh lord, she could be anywhere now. I mean no city is safe . . . your city could be the next Voodoo Capitol of America! Stay alert!:eek:

[Carmen]

Ah yes. The voodoo option is also possible for Apostle Ken. You can get him in the standard version, including the five-fold ministry principles. You can lay hands on it and agree with him in prayer. He even has little bibles (imitation) in different versions with a bit of velcro so that they attach to his hand or the pulpit included in the package. He is dressed in a real silk suit of top quality, has a change of clothing including a hawaiian shirt to accomodate the emerging bunch. A must to accompany him is Prophetess Barbie, also with something casual yet discreet in her travelling case, they are an inseparable team. Get both to re-enact your favorite Apostolic Prophetic ministry. By special order they can be made to look like your favorite Apostle, Prophet or Prophetess, just send a picture. Why not get the whole set including "This is your Day" Barbie. Do you feel like you may be an Apostle or Prophet? Send your own picture with your special order and set yourself up as an Apostle, Prophet or Prophetess. Start practicing the role now! Just think of the profit rolling in soon and the influence you can have over thousands, even millions! Apostle X will be touring the country in a month with his faithful Prophetess Y. Order your set today, the rush to buy them is already on, sale while supplies last.

[mstar]

(((Carmen))) What a delightful surprise! It is so good to see you here. Have missed you and your good words. Did your holidays go well for you and your family?

And with your Barbies. . .Counterfeit Revival Barbie has been looking everywhere for Prophetess Barbie and Apostle Ken. She needed "a word" as to whether or not God was planning to "have a great movement not seen sense the days of the New Testament apostles". So, does she have "a word"? If so, there will be some action in the heavenlies.:D

Glad you are back.:)



Ah yes. The voodoo option is also possible for Apostle Ken. You can get him in the standard version, including the five-fold ministry principles. You can lay hands on it and agree with him in prayer. He even has little bibles (imitation) in different versions with a bit of velcro so that they attach to his hand or the pulpit included in the package. He is dressed in a real silk suit of top quality, has a change of clothing including a hawaiian shirt to accomodate the emerging bunch. A must to accompany him is Prophetess Barbie, also with something casual yet discreet in her travelling case, they are an inseparable team. Get both to re-enact your favorite Apostolic Prophetic ministry. By special order they can be made to look like your favorite Apostle, Prophet or Prophetess, just send a picture. Why not get the whole set including "This is your Day" Barbie. Do you feel like you may be an Apostle or Prophet? Send your own picture with your special order and set yourself up as an Apostle, Prophet or Prophetess. Start practicing the role now! Just think of the profit rolling in soon and the influence you can have over thousands, even millions! Apostle X will be touring the country in a month with his faithful Prophetess Y. Order your set today, the rush to buy them is already on, sale while supplies last.

[Carmen]

Hi Mstar,

Nice to "see" you too! Was home the whole season, but couldn't use the computer, Hubby had time off work, had to write a paper and doesn't like it when I work on the site, go to the forum, etc.

Ah, yes, I just pushed the button on my Prophetess Barbie (newest chip technology and free downloads for a year you wouldn't believe where the port is - keeps me in touch with the revival), she has a word for your Counterfeit Revival Barbie.

"Yesss, yesss, the revival is coming, it will be a great and wonderful outpouring of the Lord's power, mmmmm, and you, Barbie, will not miss out on it if you stay in the Lord, in his teaching, in his revival, be faithful, mmmmm, and he will reward you....you will grow two cup sizes and your cellulitis will be healed, so you can finally be like all other Barbies, everyone knows that God's true Barbies are never sick, yessss, you will finally be in the inner circle...."

Boy, that prophecy sent shivers up my back like electricity. :p

[mstar]

Hi Mstar,

Nice to "see" you too! Was home the whole season, but couldn't use the computer, Hubby had time off work, had to write a paper and doesn't like it when I work on the site, go to the forum, etc.

Ah, yes, I just pushed the button on my Prophetess Barbie (newest chip technology and free downloads for a year you wouldn't believe where the port is - keeps me in touch with the revival), she has a word for your Counterfeit Revival Barbie.

"Yesss, yesss, the revival is coming, it will be a great and wonderful outpouring of the Lord's power, mmmmm, and you, Barbie, will not miss out on it if you stay in the Lord, in his teaching, in his revival, be faithful, mmmmm, and he will reward you....you will grow two cup sizes and your cellulitis will be healed, so you can finally be like all other Barbies, everyone knows that God's true Barbies are never sick, yessss, you will finally be in the inner circle...."

Boy, that prophecy sent shivers up my back like electricity. :p


Yeeeah brother and sisters! Do we have a witness? I said DO we have a witness? Now you done heard the word from the Prophetess Barbie and you Know what you gotta do. That's right, we gonna press into the Lord until He opens the window of heaven right on dis here church and grows it. That's right, and we not gonna accept nothin' less from Him. We gonna get what we came here for if we have to wrestle with him until the day breaks, like Jacob did in times of old. Thats right until we receive our blessin'. Apostle Ken is already passin' out to you folks his new publication, "We Need To Know Who Is Naughty Or Nice" study guide.
God is a holy righteous God. He aint gonna visit no church that's got sin in it. Got to get the leaven out. So lets get busy here and fill out this forms and get right with God.

Boy, that prophecy sent shivers up my back like electricity.

You sure you didn't stick your finger in a light socket?:D

[mstar]

Was home the whole season, but couldn't use the computer, Hubby had time off work, had to write a paper and doesn't like it when I work on the site, go to the forum, etc

I can relate. Have had both hubby and daughter home now for several weeks. I feel like I am on call. I have a little time now as daughter is tired from our shopping trip this afternoon and hubby doesn't want his dinner yet. Hubby will be in St. Louis next week and daughter will be back in Calif at school so I will prob be gripping I am lonely and missing everyone. I am trying to enjoy the visit, but have been so tired, more so than usual. If it doesn't get better I may go to the doctor and get a check up. It may have been the stress of pulling together a nice family Christmas for daughter while "encouraging" hubby to shape up or ship out. That could do it.
Good to have you back.

[Carmen]

Mstar,

I know, family is happiness and stress, specially for moms, always on call. Hope you feel better soon. Someone here mentioned that they were on meds - speed. Could use some of that. Maybe just more sleep. Let your daughter cook some of the meals and help clean house while she is there, she probably is itching for something to do anyway - that is how I feel when away from home. Hubby gets nervous when off work, I encourage him to fix things or take walks.

Oh, the shivers - just the overexaggerated sentimentality, wishful thinking, self-induced euphoria probably caused by too much mantra-like singing. Some people call it the "presence". Another way to get "spirits" is to drink them, one glass of wine or schnapps too many will do it, too. Takes less time than going to the meetings. Same overall effect - including the addiction and fantasy reality.