I'm easily Bullied

[NotGrindedDown]

:confused:

I've been thinking over my life so far and have come to a realisation that:

I have a personality that people sense can be easily bullied.

This can say a lot about me: loser? paranoid? etc. and maybe the spiritual abuse that I have suffered is part of this pattern. Do I subconsciously work towards a maso/sad relationship. This may be no consolation for me although it draws the bullies out from under the stone -- something others can benefit by.

And yet -- and yet --

Like most of us, I've survived in other areas of life. I must not forget the truism that helps us all:

Victimised by your church?
This is spiritual abuse,
You are NOT to blame.

[Jerry]

:confused:

I've been thinking over my life so far and have come to a realisation that:

I have a personality that people sense can be easily bullied.

This can say a lot about me: loser? paranoid? etc. and maybe the spiritual abuse that I have suffered is part of this pattern. Do I subconsciously work towards a maso/sad relationship. This may be no consolation for me although it draws the bullies out from under the stone -- something others can benefit by.

.
Dear NotGrindedDown,,,,
No,,,,what it says is kind,compassionate,Loving...................It is THEIR deviant personality,,,,,,,,THEIR charactor defects,,,,,,,THEIR predatory nature ..........You are "Civilized",,,,,,,,,,,,,,THEY are degenerant "Barbarians"
Love Jerry

[ruthf]

Hi not grinded down

You sound a lot like my husband. He's also a very compassionate, loving man, he doesn't cover himself up with the acceptable image required for men in church groups. This makes him different, and it makes him vulnerable to abuse. He, also, has called himself a 'loser' ... but Jerry is right. He's not the loser. He has not the deviant personality. Those who abuse him have.

God bless you

ruth

[Zacchaeus]

Dear NotGrindedDown,

I'm sorry for your situation.

I can’t say I personally know how it feels to be victimised or bullied – all I’ll say on that score is I’m a Taurean. However, my wife DOES understand your situation. For years, she had a tendency to capitulate to others with a louder voice or simply a louder personality. She was easily intimidated and bullied.

Ironically, it was our experience of spiritual abuse that brought about a major sea change…

Sudden large-scale rejection by a group of people that one has worked alongside and grown to trust implicitly over many years is a truly sobering experience and one which we are all so familiar with on this forum; I can’t think of many things in life quite as traumatic as having a powerful emotional bond torn asunder without warning or explanation – it is truly devastating.

However, I believe good can be derived from nearly all of life’s tragedies, and following our experience of SA my wife was brought to the sudden realisation that we, as individuals, have the power and the authority to allow others to speak into our lives. It is our choice to give, not theirs to take – this is a secular AND spiritual truth, I believe. With this understanding, my wife developed a newfound understanding of a simple but incredibly underused (in her case) word: NO.

Being quite shy and of a naturally gentle disposition, my wife also discovered the meaning of MEEKNESS which is not weakness, but gentle strength. Meaning, you can be strong but still remain gentle. Jesus was this kind of person and I reckon he’s a pretty good role-model.

My wife still experiences fear and intimidation at times but where in the past she would be floored, she now has a strategy for coping effectively with it.

She WILL say NO when she feels invaded
She WILL be MEEK in her dealings with those who try to intimidate her

And, as your name suggests, she WILL NOT be GRINDED DOWN!

I hope you take some comfort from knowing you are not alone and that you find peace on your journey.

Best wishes,

Zac :)

[NotGrindedDown]

Hi everyone

Many thanks for all the comments and good advice.
Very very helpful, and I hope that others will find it useful -- I'm sure they will!
I try to live up to my name -- usually Yes I do -- sometimes I'm depressed.

[Leslie]

Hi NotGrindedDown,

Like Zacchaeus, the word "MEEK" came to my mind when I was reading your description of yourself. Jesus had good things to say about gentle and meek people.

Take heart,
Leslie