Back to the old drawing board

[ex-shep]

I would have loved to use the by line, "back to the ol' prayer closet", but I did not want to trigger anyone.

My wife went to visit a church of a small denomination of which I am familiar and usually have good feelings. Things went sour the minute we walked in the door.

There was a dearth of information on the website on the church. That did not bother me as the churches are small and people power is lacking. We arrived at 0915 for Sunday School. It was a small rural church as I suspected. The problem, no Sunday School. No greeters. The band was setting up for service. It definitely had the feel of rural southern gospel church. The pastor, a young man, came out to introduce himself and apologize that there was no Sunday school and that the website was not updated. The pastor just came on board a few months ago. He said the church had a "hiccup" and was trying to get back on its feet. A hiccup? Why I was having flashbacks of the robot from Lost in Space warning "DANGER!! DANGER!!" was unknown to me. I was not going to find out. I have a suspicion there was a power struggle and the worship team were the instigators. It is subjective at best but gut level indicators were extremely reliable. I could not help but remember the commercial for Buddys Carpet Barn to "lie to them. Tell them you are double parked or, better yet, tell 'em you have a friend in the dysfunctional church business at Buddys Spirtual Abuse Barn [or something like that].

We told pastor we would get a cup of coffee and come back. We went straight home to bed. That was enough for this frazzled couple. So back to the ol' prayer closet. [Apologies to anyone triggered]

[SpinningHead]

Wow! Good for you for following your instinct! :)

[baldguy]

Dear Ex-Shep,

As a current Shep whose world is coming unraveled at the scenes I would love to hear your story. I'm new to the forum and just learning it's ok to talk about this stuff.

pressing on
bald guy

[leesiebella]

Baldguy,

I don't think you are a "Shep"... you're a sheep.... baaaa. :p

It seems you just have a really bad shepherd. So I say RUN AWAY from that bad shepherd...sounds like a wolf in sheeps clothing, really... let the TRUE SHEPHERD come and rescue you.

Bless you sir, we are in the same boat it seems.

Ex-Shep,

Good on ya. I have found that websites are mostly not telling of what a church is really like...especially if all the photos are professional looking...like fake people acting all happy and that this church is why. Looks like a JCPenney catalog and all.

Well, that's just my "church's" website anyway.

God Bless you on your journey Ex! This too shall pass....:)

[ex-shep]

Dear Ex-Shep,

As a current Shep whose world is coming unraveled at the scenes I would love to hear your story. I'm new to the forum and just learning it's ok to talk about this stuff.

pressing on
bald guy

Ok a little about myself. The handle really has no significance. Being a former member of the Shepherding Discipleship Movement, the name fit. It was the first thing that came to mind.

I have been out of my groups 21 years this November 11. I was involved in a campus fellowship which was submitted to one of leaders of the Shepherding Movement of Bob Mumford and others. After I graduated I ended up at a Pentecostal Bible school in the Northeast. The school declined my request for admission. That was no big deal. What was the beginning of the end was a close friend of mine inviting me to join her church. What set off alarm bells was her reluctance to mention the name of her church like it was some big secret. I was also told any questions could be deferred to the elders. I tried several bible college databases and came up with blanks. With great reluctance, I consulted a friend who was a cult researcher, oddly enough in shepherding community [ironically he left several years ago] He broke the news that my friend was in a shepherding group. I was clueless of the hidden agenda.

I went to get help for "Tammy". In the process of getting help for her, I came to realize what I was in and I walked out. My world came crashing down around me. I felt like both the Maytag repairman and the Emperor who realized his robe was nothing but the latest in Fruit of the Loom. The recovery process was a combination of anger and shame. I did have allies in friends who took the time to listen when I was down. I was also briefly blessed with a girl who counseled out of Tammy's group via a professional intervention. We were able to hold each other up in prayer when each of us were down.

What helped me in my recovery was a 12 step group for those in destructive relationships. I have been in recovery for 18 years. In recent years, I have been back in evangelical circles. I am extremely selective with my fellowship venues. The challenge is how to get it right this time. Fortunately I only have to do it one day at a time. Interestingly enough Tammy's group in some corners has done some admirable housecleaning. I do find the closest church is thirty miles away so it really too difficult to connect on an intimate level. It is quite refreshing. There are, however, churches which are still stuck in the same old same old. Still I give them credit for trying.

For today the best I can do is work my 12 step program and share what experience strength and hope I have cultivated the past two decades. Somehow in spite of my spiritual shipwrecks, I still know who large and in charge. Some refer to it as the Solid Rock. Quietly works for me. [Apologies to anyone triggered, of course]

[ex-shep]

Baldguy,

I don't think you are a "Shep"... you're a sheep.... baaaa. :p

It seems you just have a really bad shepherd. So I say RUN AWAY from that bad shepherd...sounds like a wolf in sheeps clothing, really... let the TRUE SHEPHERD come and rescue you.

Bless you sir, we are in the same boat it seems.

Ex-Shep,

Good on ya. I have found that websites are mostly not telling of what a church is really like...especially if all the photos are professional looking...like fake people acting all happy and that this church is why. Looks like a JCPenney catalog and all.

Well, that's just my "church's" website anyway.

God Bless you on your journey Ex! This too shall pass....:)


Actually sometimes websites can be really revealing. I listen to the on line sermons. That is how I joined some the better churches and never bothered darkening the door of others. It does not always work but it has been a timesaver.

I like the slogan this too shall pass. Of course I will be glad when the this too shall pass passes.

[Willow]

Heya ex-shep. Seems like big hugs are in order.
(((((((((((((ex-shep)))))))))))))

Take care bro... and remember any of my stuffie's are available to borrow.

[ex-shep]

Heya ex-shep. Seems like big hugs are in order.
(((((((((((((ex-shep)))))))))))))

Take care bro... and remember any of my stuffie's are available to borrow.

Thanks I needed that:)

[Willow]

Anytime :p