Janice
10-29-2005, 03:08 AM
Hubby & I wrote this last week. We feel however, we am not supposed to send it to the pastors though. Part of me really wants to anyway but I don't want to hurt anyone. So..it stays on paper till the Lord tells us otherwise. I filled in the names with blanks:
We know this will probably seem like an "attack" to you and your family but it IS NOT meant as one! We love you all as brothers and sisters in Christ and we are writing simply because we are concerned! Period!
As you all know, many, many people have been leaving the church. Does that not bother anybody? And ---------, if you look back, people were starting to leave long before you got sick so please don't flatter yourself. It's not just because you got sick that they've left.
If it does bother you, then why are you only "going after" certain people that have left or are thinking about leaving to try and get them to stay and not everyone? It seems to (wifey here) (and she's just stating her opinion here which she has every right to do) like over & over again that this church is an "exclusive club" that only certain people are permitted to be members of. She feels that she is obviously NOT one of them yet, hubby is.---------, We've heard you say more than once, "we are not going to chase after anyone and beg them to stay!" Well...why not? Is it because it only matters if some leave and some don't?
We are all Christian here! We should act like Christians. We SHOULD check in on people and ask what's up. WITH EVERYONE!!! A phone call, or a visit, or an invitation to dinner, with simple idle conversation without asking any straight forward questions, in our opinion, is not letting these people know we care and want them to stay. Do we or don't we want the church pews to be filled to capacity with worshipers? Do we or do we not want revival?
We have been attending for almost 9 yrs. now. This "exodus" so to speak, happens every couple years. We've heard you say, "God is weeding out the bad seeds." Perhaps that is true to a point but, think about....is EVERYONE who's left a "bad seed"? Some of these folks have moved on to other churches and have GROWN in the Lord.
Is EVERYONE who's left wrong? Have you ever stopped to think that maybe it's you that's doing something wrong? We're really not trying to be cruel here. We love you guys and it's because we love you that we are trying to maybe help you "pick your brains" a bit and seek the Lord ( and we are not saying that you haven't been) for the answers to this problem.
A few things that we have noticed and we are by no means trying to act like we have all the answers because we most certainly do not! But guess what? We pray and we seek the Lord, and we believe he gives us discernment in some areas. Yes even (wifey here)! A smoker! (imagine that).
What we've noticed is...for instance...we are constantly "told" from the pulpit that we need to "move past stuff". Maybe it's just because we are close and we know you guys so well but...we know some of you have things that you haven't been able to move past. -------, for instance, with your animosity toward --------. You've said yourself, "I cannot get along with him." You cannot seem to be able to move past that and because you can't the program for the boys has lost the perfect leader to replace hubby. We could go on with several other people but we think you understand what we're trying to say here.
--------, tell us honestly...could you sit down to dinner with --------, or ------------ , or ---------? Have you truly forgiven them for what you "think" was an attack? Yes, they've disagreed with you on some issues and have not acted very Christian like at times. NONE OF US HAVE! But just because someone disagrees with your views about something DOES NOT MEAN THEY ARE THE ENEMY! And from our observations, that is what it seems like.
We disagree on the 'smoking" issue and it is something ( wifey especially) has tried to move past over, and over, and over again. She is still trying. And some days she is able to move past it. But whether she smokes or not, whether she moves past it or not, she is still seeking the Lord and still hearing from Him!
Another observation: Why is it that you cannot seem to be "completely honest" with people from the very beginning about certain issues? (wifey) knew going in that she could not be a church member because she smoked. Why not be honest and come right out and say it from the beginning instead of mincing words? Just say it!
So many have been hurt by you not being honest with them. They have felt rejected, unloved and unimportant.
The ----------- family are another example. Hubby told you that if you were not totally honest with them that they would leave. You chose not to take his advice and that is exactly what happened. They too, like many others have left feeling rejected and used.
Another observation: Why is it when someone leaves the church they seem to be automatically cut off from the "friends list?" It REALLY IS possible to be friends with someone who has left the church! Doesn't the Bible say that the greatest gift is love?
We wonder if maybe, you don't quite understand unconditional love and friendship?
WE LOVE ALL OF YOU!!! Which is why we are literally in turmoil at the moment of the thought of leaving the church! WE ARE SCARED TO DEATH THAT IF WE DECIDE TO MOVE ON THAT YOU WILL CONSIDER US THE ENEMY AND THAT IT WOULD BE THE END OF OUR FRIENDSHIP! It will not be the end as far as we are concerned! We love you! Unconditionally! We love the people that have left! Unconditionally! That's what the Word tells us to do. We may not always agree with everything but we still love you!
We both knew without a doubt that our season was up at ------- church and God moved us here. We are struggling with the fact that maybe our "season" here is coming to a close and God may want to move us on in Him. This is bitter-sweet for us. We very much want to do what God wants and not what we want!! We are seeking the Lord! Fervently! He has not told us to leave but He has not told us to stay. We will continue to wait on Him. We're both truly confident in the fact that God will tell us both the same thing. We are a team. We are ONE! Nothing, and no one will break up our union. What God has joined together no man will put asunder. We have felt for so long that the Lord wants to use us in that way. As a team. Doing what? We haven't a clue but we know as we keep our eyes focused on Him that He will lead and guide us!
If He leads us to another church then so be it. If he tells us to stay here then so be it. WHATEVER HE WANTS WE WILL DO! We just DO NOT WANT OUR FRIENDSHIP TO END if the the Lord moves us on. We pray that doesn't happen.
With love and friendship,
hubby & me
Ecclesiastes 3:1 - "To EVERYTHING there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven".
Even though this will probably never be mailed it still felt good to write it all out.
We know this will probably seem like an "attack" to you and your family but it IS NOT meant as one! We love you all as brothers and sisters in Christ and we are writing simply because we are concerned! Period!
As you all know, many, many people have been leaving the church. Does that not bother anybody? And ---------, if you look back, people were starting to leave long before you got sick so please don't flatter yourself. It's not just because you got sick that they've left.
If it does bother you, then why are you only "going after" certain people that have left or are thinking about leaving to try and get them to stay and not everyone? It seems to (wifey here) (and she's just stating her opinion here which she has every right to do) like over & over again that this church is an "exclusive club" that only certain people are permitted to be members of. She feels that she is obviously NOT one of them yet, hubby is.---------, We've heard you say more than once, "we are not going to chase after anyone and beg them to stay!" Well...why not? Is it because it only matters if some leave and some don't?
We are all Christian here! We should act like Christians. We SHOULD check in on people and ask what's up. WITH EVERYONE!!! A phone call, or a visit, or an invitation to dinner, with simple idle conversation without asking any straight forward questions, in our opinion, is not letting these people know we care and want them to stay. Do we or don't we want the church pews to be filled to capacity with worshipers? Do we or do we not want revival?
We have been attending for almost 9 yrs. now. This "exodus" so to speak, happens every couple years. We've heard you say, "God is weeding out the bad seeds." Perhaps that is true to a point but, think about....is EVERYONE who's left a "bad seed"? Some of these folks have moved on to other churches and have GROWN in the Lord.
Is EVERYONE who's left wrong? Have you ever stopped to think that maybe it's you that's doing something wrong? We're really not trying to be cruel here. We love you guys and it's because we love you that we are trying to maybe help you "pick your brains" a bit and seek the Lord ( and we are not saying that you haven't been) for the answers to this problem.
A few things that we have noticed and we are by no means trying to act like we have all the answers because we most certainly do not! But guess what? We pray and we seek the Lord, and we believe he gives us discernment in some areas. Yes even (wifey here)! A smoker! (imagine that).
What we've noticed is...for instance...we are constantly "told" from the pulpit that we need to "move past stuff". Maybe it's just because we are close and we know you guys so well but...we know some of you have things that you haven't been able to move past. -------, for instance, with your animosity toward --------. You've said yourself, "I cannot get along with him." You cannot seem to be able to move past that and because you can't the program for the boys has lost the perfect leader to replace hubby. We could go on with several other people but we think you understand what we're trying to say here.
--------, tell us honestly...could you sit down to dinner with --------, or ------------ , or ---------? Have you truly forgiven them for what you "think" was an attack? Yes, they've disagreed with you on some issues and have not acted very Christian like at times. NONE OF US HAVE! But just because someone disagrees with your views about something DOES NOT MEAN THEY ARE THE ENEMY! And from our observations, that is what it seems like.
We disagree on the 'smoking" issue and it is something ( wifey especially) has tried to move past over, and over, and over again. She is still trying. And some days she is able to move past it. But whether she smokes or not, whether she moves past it or not, she is still seeking the Lord and still hearing from Him!
Another observation: Why is it that you cannot seem to be "completely honest" with people from the very beginning about certain issues? (wifey) knew going in that she could not be a church member because she smoked. Why not be honest and come right out and say it from the beginning instead of mincing words? Just say it!
So many have been hurt by you not being honest with them. They have felt rejected, unloved and unimportant.
The ----------- family are another example. Hubby told you that if you were not totally honest with them that they would leave. You chose not to take his advice and that is exactly what happened. They too, like many others have left feeling rejected and used.
Another observation: Why is it when someone leaves the church they seem to be automatically cut off from the "friends list?" It REALLY IS possible to be friends with someone who has left the church! Doesn't the Bible say that the greatest gift is love?
We wonder if maybe, you don't quite understand unconditional love and friendship?
WE LOVE ALL OF YOU!!! Which is why we are literally in turmoil at the moment of the thought of leaving the church! WE ARE SCARED TO DEATH THAT IF WE DECIDE TO MOVE ON THAT YOU WILL CONSIDER US THE ENEMY AND THAT IT WOULD BE THE END OF OUR FRIENDSHIP! It will not be the end as far as we are concerned! We love you! Unconditionally! We love the people that have left! Unconditionally! That's what the Word tells us to do. We may not always agree with everything but we still love you!
We both knew without a doubt that our season was up at ------- church and God moved us here. We are struggling with the fact that maybe our "season" here is coming to a close and God may want to move us on in Him. This is bitter-sweet for us. We very much want to do what God wants and not what we want!! We are seeking the Lord! Fervently! He has not told us to leave but He has not told us to stay. We will continue to wait on Him. We're both truly confident in the fact that God will tell us both the same thing. We are a team. We are ONE! Nothing, and no one will break up our union. What God has joined together no man will put asunder. We have felt for so long that the Lord wants to use us in that way. As a team. Doing what? We haven't a clue but we know as we keep our eyes focused on Him that He will lead and guide us!
If He leads us to another church then so be it. If he tells us to stay here then so be it. WHATEVER HE WANTS WE WILL DO! We just DO NOT WANT OUR FRIENDSHIP TO END if the the Lord moves us on. We pray that doesn't happen.
With love and friendship,
hubby & me
Ecclesiastes 3:1 - "To EVERYTHING there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven".
Even though this will probably never be mailed it still felt good to write it all out.